CHAPTER SIX
sᴀᴛᴇʟʟɪᴛᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ

With curled hair a compliment to Rosalie's skills with styling and my old jacket dug out from my suitcase, the day started off well. I'd forgotten all about Bella and her dispute. That too was thanks to Alice and Rose, who'd practically drilled the thoughts from my head. The sun was bright and smiling, Alice's skin glowing beneath its generous rays as she led me to her new car which was parked at the edge of the forest driveway, somehow untouched by the low hanging branches, as if the trees themselves were scared of the owner's wrath.

"It looks exactly like the one in Italy," I said, climbing into the passenger seat, with Alice already sat beside me.

And it did look the exact same. A bright yellow Porsche, streaked with black detailing and sleek, tinted windows. The insides were heated, the chairs inclined at the perfect angle.

"That's because it is," Alice said, a grin forming on her face. "Well, not the exact same one, but Edward got me the same model and extras and everything."

"What convinced him to buy you a sports car?"

"Well it's not technically his money so he didn't buy me it per se," she said. Her face switched and she paused for a moment. "Bella is coming over for a slumber party tonight. Esme said she wants to make Italian for her. I said you'd help, is that alright?"

She said the last two lines quickly as if she didn't want to give me time to think.

"Yeah, of course."

"Good because it would break Esme's heart if you'd backed out of it now," Alice said. "She likes you you know? She loves having you around."

"I'm glad. I loving being around."

As we rounded the winding roads that lead further from the outskirts of Forks, sliding past the string of territory that bordered the reservation, Alice began to speed up, turning around corners like we'd topple over.

"Alice! Slow down!"

She laughed loudly. "What? Scared you're going to die for a second time?"

"I'm not used to it," I said, forcing my shoulders to relax as she kept her foot down on the accelerator.

"You choose the wrong times to be reckless," she said, no doubt referencing the alteration with James.

She looked so wild, the curled edges of her hair fluttering against her neck as the wind howled in channels through the open windows. I leaned over, trusting her senses and her control, taking her chin between my fingers.

"And you choose the wrong times to make me want to kiss you."

☾

"Hey, Alice. Where's your brother?" Bella asked as she slid into the middle seat of the back of the car.

Alice didn't answer. I knew she was anxious about the whole deal between them. She hummed to the tune of the song that played from the radio, ignoring the question.

"What's going on? Where is Edward?"

"They left early," I answered, glancing back momentarily- she was avoiding my eye.

"All the boys went and we're having a slumber party!" Alice exclaimed, starting the car and speeding off the moment Bella was strapped in.

"Really?"

"Aren't you excited?"

"This is kidnapping," Bella said as she realised what was happening.

I laughed. "That's exactly what I said."

"Oh, I'm sure."

Alice frowned at her sarcasm. "Stop it, Bella!" She snapped. "You're being selfish. If anything was to happen to you that we could have prevented, we would all rather serve up our heads on platters to the Volturi." She sighed. "I know you feel trapped. But this won't be for long. Now let's go and have a sleepover and just enjoy ourselves, alright?"

"How long?" Bella asked.

"Until Saturday. Esme cleared it with Charlie, you're staying for two nights. We'll drive you to and from school tomorrow as well," Alice said.

"He paid you off, didn't he."

"The Porsche. It's exactly like the one I stole in Italy," Alice said with a shrug. "He knows I would have done it regardless if he bought me a car or not, but I think he felt guilty. Besides, I'm not supposed to drive it around Forks but if you want, we could see how long it takes to get from here to L.A. - I bet I could have you back for midnight. I took Elide out in it before and nearly gave her a heart attack."

"I'm an old woman. In my day there weren't any sports cars," I joked.

Bella frowned. "I think I'll pass."

It seemed like no time had passed at all as Alice pulled into the garage, parking Edward's Volvo in the small space beside her Porsche. She smiled proudly as she walked to the door, trailing her finger against the door.

"Pretty isn't it?"

"Pretty over the top. He gave you that for holding me hostage for two days?" Bella's eyes widened. "It's for every time he's gone, isn't it?"

Alice shrugged again. "And for a bet he owed me. But yes. It's for every time."

"Alice, don't you think this is just a little bit controlling? Just a tiny bit psychotic?"

"No, I don't, Bella," she said, leading us to the kitchen. "It's exactly like I said before. You don't seem to grasp how dangerous a young werewolf can be, never mind our own kind. Especially when I can't see them. Edward has no way to know if you're safe. You shouldn't be so reckless."

"Yes, because a vampire sleepover is the pinnacle of safety-conscious behaviour," Bella joked.

"I'll give you a pedicure and everything. Esme and Elide are making your food."

Esme was waiting in the kitchen when we arrived, the TV that sat on the middle island playing a cooking show. Her smile seemed to brighten us all up, the previous conversation being eliminated of all awkwardness that lingered. She greeted us with a kiss on the cheek each and went back to pulling the pots from the cupboard.

"You two head on up. I'll stay down here with Esme."

Rosalie sat by the window, a book held closed between her slender hands. Her focus was not on the pages of poetry but the fogged glass by her seat. The sun had settled in its nest behind the trees, illuminating the lower sky like a dying candle in a dark room. Her face was shadowed by the darkening sky and highlighted by the dulled light of her favourite salt lamp, the pinkish tones flushing her unnaturally pale skin.

"I'm surprised you stuck around," I said, sitting opposite her, by back against the cold window.

Rosalie turned to face me, letting the book slide down her legs to lay flat against the padded cushions between us. There was no hint of malice on her face despite the topic of Bella.

"Alice isn't the only one getting something from this," she said, wrapping an arm around her knees.

"What's in it for you?"

She smirked, somewhat bashfully. "Custom leather covers for my convertible."

"It seems I'm missing the trick here," I said with a laugh.

"You must be here from the goodness of your heart."

I shook my head, tucking my legs up, mimicking her position. "It doesn't feel like that at the minute. She makes it so hard to love her."

"Bella?"

"Yes. Bella," I said. "It's like she doesn't understand what she's getting into. It's like she doesn't know how much it takes to keep her safe."

"It's not like anything," Rosalie said, the bitterness returning in her voice. "She doesn't understand, that's the bottom of it." There was a pause. "Esme thinks I should talk to her. More for my own sake than hers, but still."

"About what?"

"My past," she said slowly, staring at one spot in the window where the light didn't meet. "I've wanted to tell you about it, but it's never felt like the right time."

"It's alright. It's not like I've ever truly been open with you about what happened to me."

"You don't have to tell me," she said quickly, snapping her head around.

"That's the thing. It feels like I do," I said. "Ever since I told Alice- God, it was when you all still hated me."

Rosalie cut in, glaring at me in annoyance. "We never hated you. We just didn't trust you, and you had no reason to trust us either. We were doing the exact same thing: hiding. It's why I was so wary of Bella. So much could go wrong with her. Edward doesn't seem to understand that."

"I know." I breathed. "But since telling her, it feels a relief to get it off my chest, to acknowledge it happened and not let it affect me anymore." Rosalie waited, knowing I would say more. "He was the brother of my best friend. I've told you a few things, I'm sure."

She nodded in confirmation and I continued. It felt right to finally tell her. Transparency could equal trust.

"William had always loved me in the way that the family of my friend should not. He would say he'd wait until we were old enough to run away and wed before he did anything. But one day he just disappeared and never returned for some years, until he was knocking at my door," I said, leaving unvoiced the obvious fact of why he'd turned to thin air. "I can still remember the redness of his eyes and the desperation of his voice. I saw him again in James' shadow. But it doesn't matter if I can hear him telling me that I have to be his. It doesn't matter that he left me bleeding, thinking he'd gone too far for the change. I don't let it bother me anymore. I can't. If I do let it bother me... that's not living. Not with this fear of my own memories."

"Talking about it helps," I said as she nodded grimly.

"It doesn't work like that for me," Rosalie said. "It's hard. All I feel is anger, even if I'm just thinking about it."

She paused as if contemplating whether or not she could finally say it to me out loud. I knew only of the time she'd been turned and she too, like Edward, had been bitten by Carlisle as she lay dying.

"I was beautiful and I knew it. And I know I'm beautiful now, too. There's nothing wrong with that. But I still think I was more perfect in my human form than this cursed one. Flushed cheeks and youthful blue eyes are far more charming than what I have now. But beauty can be just as much a burden as an asset," she said.

Outside the sky had darkened into a brooding landscape, leading into the predicted rain that would come tomorrow. Rose tucked her arms tighter around her legs as if binding her limbs together, stopping them from falling apart. It was a ritualistic movement- one I knew well enough.

"Like Helen of Troy," I said.

The woman said to be as beautiful as Aphrodite herself. She'd ruined many lives with that beauty. It was by no fault of her own either but by the fault of obsessive men and their uncontrolled pride.

"Yes," she said. "Tossed around like prizes because we're women with an appealing appearance."

"My husband when I was human- he'd wanted me from the moment he'd spotted me. I won't lie. I'd gone to his office with my father's lunch wearing my prettiest dress on purpose. But all girls in those days were taught to look for a man before they looked for themselves. You know how it was," she said.

I nodded. Those times for me, were my most difficult. Trying to find a home to hide in without a husband and without figuring out how to obtain legitimate documents had been close to impossible.

"We were married and trying for a baby, but I couldn't. I visited my friend Vera one day, just after she'd given birth to her darling little boy. I was infatuated with the tiny thing, my heart torn to shreds over the fact that she was in a loving marriage with the most beautiful baby child when my own husband saw me as nothing more than a pretty woman he could take to bed at any time," Rose said, teeth grating as she stopped to compose herself. "It was in the same night that I was walking home by myself. They always said that a lady shouldn't walk in the dark on her own, that it was at her own risk. But it's as much our world as it is theirs and I carried on ignorant when I saw him.  Royce was stumbling about the streets with a friend from out of town."

As she spoke of her ex husband, she put on a voice, deep and arrogant. "'There she is, my darling Rose. Didn't I tell you she was finer than any of those Georgia peaches?' The man named John looked at me like I was a horse he was buying," she spat. "Suddenly Royce was ripping my jacket from me, telling me to let them see me properly. It was cold, so bitterly cold for a late April night. I still remember watching the buttons of my blouse bounce against the street and the feeling of the concrete scraping against my knees as I tumbled to the ground."

I placed a hand against her knee and she stopped herself choking on her words as she let the worst of it pass.

"They left me to die as they staggered home, laughing about how Royce would have to find a new bride. That was when Carlisle found me. I was dying so quickly that he had to change me right there on the street and then carry me to his home to be cleaned up," she said, finally turning to look me straight in the eye. "And you know what? Despite everything that had happened to me, if I'd had the choice, I still would have chosen to die rather than become a vampire. And I think Bella needs to hear me say that."

"She does. She does need to hear that. None of us could forgive ourselves if something happened and she regretted the changing," I said. "Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me."

She nodded dismissively. "If you're to stay with us, it's only fair you know."

"But Rose. I used to think the same as you. I used to hate what I'd become. But meeting everyone, finding a family. It made me want to live again," I said, adding as she went to look, "In whatever type of living this is."

She nodded but did not seem to want to say much more of my insistence.

"I know they call me vain," she finally chose to say. "You want to hear what I think?"

"Always." Rosalie had a peculiar mind.

"I think knowing my own beauty is a weapon that I've earned to use. It was then and it is now. Why should I be belittled for that?"

"You shouldn't."

"I killed them, you know," she said. "That was the first thing I did when I was strong enough and had some sense of moral code. I went for them one by one, leaving Royce for last so he knew I was coming. I killed him in my wedding dress. It took me a while. But I drew no blood."

I could imagine the wicked sense of relief she would have felt, knowing the people who had hurt her, who had lead her to this life, were dead by her hands.

"I think Bella needs to hear what you have to say. You have every right to say it," I said, and Rosalie nodded slowly.

"Thank you."

She stood, leaving her book and blanket behind and walked across the living room to the stairs. Bella was in Edward's room, where a bed had been set up for her. Rosalie knocked and as an answer came, she paused glancing back as I headed for my own, new room.

"Aren't you going to see Alice?" She said, a cheeky smile turning her face. Without waiting for my bewildered response, she opened Bella's door and slipped in.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd ran away," Alice said, opening her arms so I would join her.

"I was talking to Rose."

"Bella wants to talk to you. I think she'll apologise," she said. I nodded. "Want to watch a film?"

I nodded, slipping down on the settee laying my head in her lap. "Star Wars."

"Star Wars?"

I grinned up at her, feeling her fingers drift against my chin. "Yes. It reminds me of the seventies."

"Okay."

We watched the film quietly, with me quoting my favourite lines and Alice giggling each time I did so, pulling me in closer to her. I was happily content, and yet the niggling thoughts of what I'd spoken about with Rosalie had made their way in between us.

It's seemed in my newfound comfort with the Cullens I'd forgotten all about William. I'd forgotten about the fact that I had planned to leave in the months after Bella had gotten well again.

"Alice," I said softly, knowing she would hear. She nodded, snapping her attention from the TV to my face. "You know I don't want anything to change, don't you?"

She smiled softly, pulling my face closer. "Yes, lovely, I know," she said, nuzzling her nose against my cheek. "I won't let them change."

☾