(Emily's point of view)

March 8th, 2016

Fourth year, second semester

My father called me today again when I was with you Emily, he threatened to tell you everything if I didn't come home. I wanted to scream at him asking why he had decided to try now to control me, but instead I told him I would leave before graduation. I couldn't argue with him with you so close to me, but also because I couldn't bare to see your face once you realized I was a fraud.

Now I'm just sitting here drumming my fingers to a beat that doesn't exist, thinking about how your going to take the news once I'm gone.

I'm half tempted to give you this journal so you can know how I feel about you, because darling there's two years of love here. Waiting for you until the end of time remaining frozen until your heart unfreezes it again.

My Uncle, James, reached out to me recently offering me the position of his heir. He had recently met a woman that made him swoon and he no longer cared for the business as much as he should. I could understand that because darling I would surrender everything for you.

Emily, take me to the depths of hell and the skies of heaven. No matter where we are my heart will still beat to the music that is your voice. My soul finds yours captivating, circling you like your the sun in the sky.

I wish I could tell you these words Emily, because you have hopelessly changed my heart with the love you've given me by being there. You may not feel as well for me as I but I hope on day you can forgive me for leaving.

My Father is a horrible man who only approves of what he believes is best, he told me today my brother was getting married. Apparently he thinks I care about whoever the unfortunate soul is that will have to deal with him as a husband.

The only regret I will ever have in this life will be not getting the opportunity to put a ring on your finger.

Sincerely, AWNR.

All the air in my lungs jumped into my throat as I read the beautiful words he used to describe the length of his love for me. But also felt a sense of hope reading the words he had chosen for us, that perhaps I could find him and maybe one day he wouldn't have that one regret.

With a new vigor and filled with energy I sprang from my spot heading towards the door, even if I had no idea where they were I would never stop fighting. I made my way down through the lobby only to be stopped by Normand.

"Normand, Bonjour." I smiled a bright fake smile not at all concerned that he may notice my annoyance to his presence. I needed to find anything that could help me save my loved ones.

"Bonjour Belle Emily." He responded taking my hand and placing a small kiss on the palm.

"Are you in a hurry Belle?" He asked me with his eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he tilted his head like a puppy. "I need to ask you about the menu at Le Fantome Francais."

My resolve was close to my breaking point as I let him lead me to the restaurant and multiple waiters began to bring out mouthwatering food. The more food he brought out the more time past until I had been sampling food for several hours. Losing any chance I had originally had to find Nate or any clues about his where abouts.

On the brighter side of the coin the I had managed to stomach the food I had ingested, and we finished the menu for Le Fantome Francais. I thought of my favorite meal that he had served to me while the elevator took me to my destination, Pot-au-feu, and I was saddened that Nate didn't get the opportunity to try the meal.

But then I realized the reason for that and that I had spent far too much time thinking about a plate of food. The first thing I did once I arrived at the hotel room was pulled out my phone with a plan in mind for tomorrow.

'Dai I need your help.' -E

'You know I'll help you with anything Emily.' -D

'Can you meet me at the café near the hotel we met at tomorrow for lunch?' -E

'This has to be serious if you can't just tell me over the phone.' -D

'I'll be there, I told you anything Emily.' -D

'Goodnight Dai, Thank you.' -E

"Goodnight E.' -D

I nodded to myself pleased with the results hoping that perhaps Dai would know more about where to look. He had come to Paris multiple times since we had graduated, which I had been irritable about until now.

I settled back to my new spot that Nate had left behind with a sad smile as I unlocked his phone once more needing to read the words he eloquently typed onto the screen. Hoping to find some sort of peace to help with the unsettling feeling in my stomach.

December 25th, 2017

Emily, it's been awhile since I've wrote in this journal of mine although I suppose that's my fault for trying to forget you. Your memory was brought to me when a woman was on her knees for me, and all at once I felt sick to my stomach. I kicked the woman out of my apartment immediately afterword and I think I may move now.

All I could remember was that one drunken night that we spent together just weeks before graduation, just weeks before I had to leave you. You had snuck out the morning afterwards, although I'll never know why.

But seeing any other woman in the same context to you made my stomach churn in disgust, but I had felt so lonely on this holiday without celebrating it with you and the dream team. My father no longer talks to me, he's to busy trying to pan out this deal of a bride for his other son. My Uncle is too busy on his honeymoon with his wife, and I never could make any other friendships like your dream team.

You truly did a number on me Emily, all of your group did because not only have you ruined every other woman for me but your friends have ruined any other friendships.

I hope that you were able to go on with your life after I left, I know how much you struggle with things like your own mother's departure. But you loved her and you never felt like that for me, the one time we did anything you ran immediately after you were sober enough to think.

Merry Christmas Emily with much love,

AWNR.

I slept fairly peaceful considering the circumstances that I was currently living, especially finding pride in that I had ruined all other women for Nate. I had managed to sleep in more so than I had since I had started to work for Nate. I took my time getting ready taking a long bath before heading to the café, thankfully managing to avoid Normand before he could rope me into another mission for the hotel.

As I walked down the sidewalk I brought my eyes to the sky watching the dark gray clouds that seemed to hang over the city yet never raining. The just loomed over the inhabitants like a dark omen that left you shivering in your skin and you knew once it rained it your pour. The birds were hiding away just in case the storm came today, all the critters hiding away almost in both freight and awe of the large storm clouds.

When I walked into the café I looked around feeling at ease at the similar feeling that Betsy's diner always gave me. The small café was a hidden gem that was filled with small pastries and had pastel colors flying from the walls.

My sense for danger spiked again as my eyes finally met the eyes I had been searching for in the corner of the room. Dai enthusiastically waved his hand with a bright smile on his face, his hair was once again slicked back and his eyes filled with charm.

"Dai!" He got up from his chair and wrapped me up in a big hug, which I responded in full before sitting down.

"You know when I said we should get coffee I didn't think you would want to so soon!" Dai had changed a lot after college, his confident levels shot up when his art was finally recognized. The more he got praised the more outgoing he became, and the more he began to hide his real feelings away.

"I know, I know... but I need your help Dai." I knew he was just trying to take the serious mood out of me but I was not going to get off track today. I knew that I could trust Dai with anything, after all I had known him since kindergarten. He was the first official member of the dream team, not counting Nick and I.

My ears perked up at the sound of sprinkling rain pecking on the windows, the storm we all had been dreading was officially beginning after many days of waiting. Dai pulled me away from the rain bringing one of my hands into his trying to soothe my worried tone.

"What's the matter E." His eyes bore into mine with eyebrows raised slightly and pulled together, his hand tightening on mine for a moment.

"I..." I sighed not knowing where to begin before descending into the madness of my life, "I found Allen." The beginning, although not quite the beginning, that's what people always say is to start at the beginning.

"What!" He almost screamed causing a couple people in the cafe to look over at us, including the young waiter who was coming and setting two pieces of strawberry shortcake on the table along with two cups of milk.

"I found Allen Walker." I exclaimed again while looking up to meet his eyes but they just looked right through me before his face twisted into anger.

"You mean the guy who broke your heart." He grunted out with gritted teeth as his eyes focused on my face, his eyes losing their charm and careless nature and turning into something darker.

"He didn't know, he couldn't have known that I-" he cuts me off not letting me defend Nate for his wrongdoing in the past, even if I knew that it wasn't his fault but I couldn't tell Dai those reasons.

"He still left us gone from a trace without saying goodbye. Gone just as fast as he came to us." His eyes held passion and anger but most of all his eyes held sadness as his leg bounced underneath the table rapidly and his hand let go of mine.

"He couldn't control that, look Allen wasn't his real name." I couldn't stop the words from falling out of my mouth, just desperately trying to defend him from Dai's attacks.

"Not his real name?" He stopped for a minute eyes glazed with confusion as he tried to figure out the meaning of my words, his eyes guarded as they watched my every move.

"His real name is Nathaniel Richmond." Dai just looked at me for a couple of seconds, and then everything clicked and the gears in his head stopped abruptly.

"He's Nathaniel Richmond, I don't know what to say." He looked down at his shortcake cutting a bit off with his fork and proceeded to eat it entering almost a state of denial. As if I was about to say just kidding and then we could laugh together before catching up.

"I still love him Dai." He looked back up at me as I continued, "Maybe even more so now."

"Why did you ask me to meet you here Em?" His voice was completely emotionless his eyes guarded and dull as they glazed over. His body stopped moving completely even the nervous tick of his, shaking his leg rapidly.

"He's in danger, and I need your help to find him."

"No." My eyes widened at his immediate response that he spoke without any hesitation.

"What?"

"I can't, I'm sorry... but I'll walk you to your hotel." He offered me his hand but I shook it away not being able to handle the way he was treating me. He acted as if he was the only one who was hurt by his departure, I should know better than anyone whether or not he's worth saving.

"But Dai-" I got up trying once more to beg him to help me because I couldn't just do this on my own, but my plea for help died on deaf ears.

"No! I won't help you break your heart again!" I turned beginning to leave the café not wanting to spend another second with this stranger, he said anything but I guess that only meant when he felt like it.

"What if it's already broken?" I whisper as I rapidly walked towards the door not meeting his eyes, his hand reached for mine but I jerked away recoiling in disgust. The rain hit me violently the peaceful sprinkling had changed into a total down pour.

"I'll walk myself to the hotel." I muttered as I heard another chime from the door of the café knowing fully well that he was following me. But at the sound of silence I went to turn to see what had made him turn quiet only for a sharp blow to the back of my head make my vision turn black.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Emily." I could faintly hear his voice as I reached out only to find my limbs failing me as I felt his arms surrounding me and the rain continuing to beat us.

"But I refuse to let you find that wretched man again, even if I was friends with him to." A promise was somewhere in his voice with tones of regret, yet I could no longer focus on the sounds around me. My mind began to fade away only strong enough to hear his final words to me before the dark abyss overtook me.

"I'm so sorry."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."

                                                          -Bob Marley

I hope you have found at least one good friend that you believe is worth suffering for, friends are magical things once you finally let them in. I have many friends, however, I only have three true friends. While the others may move on in life, I know that right now these are the good days. With people by my side, whether I trust them or not, our memories in our lives are the most precious things in the world.

I love you all my lovely readers, and we got over the 20k bump.... HOORAY!