You say...
That you will never leave me.
But...
I don't know whether or not I should believe you~
So many people say,
"Don't worry! I'll always be there for you!"
I was such an idiot.
Because I believed them.
I thought that they meant it.
I never did anything wrong.
But..
Somehow..
I did.
Then they left.

Now,
Whenever someone says they won't leave,
Or that they care,
I don't believe them.
But...
Somewhere in my non existent heart,
I do.
And that's why it always hurts.

They say that they'll always be there.
When I text them at night for help,
They don't reply.
But they see the message.
Even if they don't see it.
They are still breaking a promise.
They said always.
Yet..
They are never there when I need them.

My parents were fighting today.
And one of them said,
"When they told me to come back to you and our daughter, I did
But we shouldn't have had that daughter."
They were talking about me.
I am the oldest.
That's the only time when they had a daughter.
It's all my fault.
I fucked up my family.
I am such a bitch.

I fuck everything up.
I should learn to shut my mouth and stay away from people.
That way...
Everything's fine again.
Because I won't exist.

I'm sorry for existing.
I'm sorry for breaking my promise.
I'm sorry for being a bitch.
I'm sorry for fucking everything up.
I'm sorry for bothering you.

I'm sorry I'm not dead yet~