Seriously. I still cry about my acne to this day. And it doesn't help when you come from a Filipino family (I'm sure other families do it to) and they point out alllll your flaws.

Just the other day, my face broke out like crazy – my entire forehead, my jaw, my cheeks, and my chin were covered in pimples.

It wasn't until two weeks later where my face started to calm down and not look as red and angry looking.

Then I visited my mum after a month of not seeing her and the first thing she said was, "Oh my god, your face, honey."

I replied, "I know. This is actually good compared to what it was like a few days ago."

And this was around the time I was wearing no makeup to work every day except for mascara (which is a God-given miracle because I used to never be able to walk out without something covering my stupid acne and its hideous scars). I was becoming confident in myself without makeup until my mom continued talking.

"Do you know if that face wash is working?" she asked.

"I just tried it two days ago but when I used to binge acne videos, a lot of people recommended this product."

I heard her tone shift to disappointment. "Honey – products are sponsored-"

"It wasn't. The videos I watched weren't sponsored."

"Why don't you try CeraVe? Have you bought a new facewash yet?" She sighed. "Honey, you should be prioritizing your skin."

I almost broke down in tears. I should be prioritizing my skin? If by prioritize, you mean I'm not taking my skin seriously? Is she serious? That's all I think about.

I didn't have to be preached by my mother that I need to prioritize my skin.

Every thought that runs through my head starts with, 'You don't understand, mom' after that. But I couldn't say that because she'd think I'm overreacting.

Which I was. Kinda.

She doesn't realize the emotional roller coaster of acne.

I have to be so careful with what I eat in case it breaks me out.

I'm scared to eat things – I'm so restricted: all artificial sugars break me out, dairy (think milk, cheese etc.), fried greasy food (goodbye Asian food), processed food (sooo everything in the North American grocery store). Look at the back of so many products: fructose, maltodextrin – all added sugars. I honestly read ingredient lists on products more than I read the texts on my phone.

She doesn't realize every night I cry when I look in the mirror at how red my face is and the voices in my head tell me how ugly I look.

She doesn't realize I don't even stare at people directly in the eye when I don't have makeup on.

She doesn't realize I like my hair down and I never put it up because you can see more of my face so I hide it behind my hair.

She doesn't realize I always think about how no one would want to date a face as gross as mine.

To all the people out there who tell us, "Don't worry, you'll grow out of it" and "You're beautiful just the way you are. Your acne will go away with age" – here is me sending you a nicely packaged box full of dogshit with a note that says:

Fuck. You.

Don't be an insensitive dick. Don't tell us we should be doing more about healing our skin.

Because every fucking day we wake up fighting to get out of bed, we fight to go outside and show ourselves, we fight the bullies in our heads, it's a constant battle we feel like we're losing.

The amount of mental strength we need to keep away the disgusting hate for our physical features is draining. But we're trying. We try everyday.

We do more than you think.

Trying to love yourself when parts of your mind are against that is one of the hardest problems.

My name is Azia and I'm still battling hormonal acne. I don't know how long it's going to take but I know I'll have clear skin one day – and I don't need your insensitive comments to get there. 

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A/N: Comment below if you've had the acne struggle!! We've been there, sistas!!