When Fitz finally recovered from his meltdown, he promised, "Next time, I'll tell you about it when it happens."

She nodded, and was surprised to find she was crying too. She wiped the tears away, genuinely confused by them.

"You shared my hurt," he explained.

"None of it was from me, right?" Sophie asked.

Fitz shook his head. "You're the only reason I didn't have this meltdown before now."

She hugged him a little tighter before letting go. "I guess now you have to go through my head."

He did. And it was all smooth sailing, until he landed on Alvar.

Sophie knew he had expected the anger in Sophie, but there was also the regret.

"Why are you regretful?" Fitz asked.

And Sophie couldn't tell him. Because she was regretting leaving Alvar to the Council - who knew what they would do with him? And also regret that she wasn't telling Fitz.

Fitz thought for a moment, then asked, "This secret... it's about Alvar, isn't it?"

Sophie sighed. "Leave it to you to guess the secret in a few minutes. And... yeah. It is. I suppose I should tell you." She left her thoughts unguarded, and let Fitz access her most recent memories of Alvar.

It took Fitz a while to process the whole thing.

"You thought he was me," he whispered. "And you went up to him... Sophie, he could have killed you."

"No, actually," Sophie said. "Alvar was really weak. The way he was eating, like it was his lifespan. The orange goo killed him and he starved for ages after that. All of that weakened his body. And that's... but you know about the break now, right?"

"Yeah," Fitz mumbled. "They want you and me to do the break?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't sure if you should," Sophie said. "I forgot which Councillor said it, but..."

Fitz went through the memories again and came back troubled. "You might lose yourself in Alvar's brain because of me," he whispered.

"No! Not because of you. I mean... Fitz, I need your mind to be clear, because I'll need you to rescue me. We're probably going to find disturbing things in Alvar's mind. I... don't want to be lost. I saw how you reacted when Alden broke. If you thought it was your fault, then... you'd... I don't know. I'm already the only person you talk to, ever. If I'm gone... You'd be okay, right?"

"No, I wouldn't," Fitz said. "You breaking might break me. You're right, I can't let my past feuds with Alvar sabotage it. But I also can't guarantee. I don't think I should perform the break with you."

"But... I don't know who else. Alden? I'm not really sure..."

"Don't perform it," said Fitz. "We'll do a probe. I can ask Quinlin to do the probe, actually. Or someone else. It doesn't have to be a break."

"I know you want the break, Fitz," Sophie said quietly. "Alvar deserves it. Don't say otherwise because you don't want me worried."

"But you already are worried," Fitz whispered. "I sent my name through your brain, and I got this wall of worry and love and I couldn't feel anything else."

"That's because... I'm really worried about you," Sophie said, even though it was a lame answer. "I... I'm so scared I'm going to lose you."

Fitz took in a sharp breath before sitting up and screaming with pain.

"Fitz? What did-"

"Alvar!"

Sophie whipped around and caught Alvar standing in the doorway. An incredibly bad time - Elwin had gone to get supplies earlier and left Sophie alone with Fitz, which she'd thought was considerate of him at the time, but Alvar wouldn't have struck if Elwin were around.

He looked healthier, his skin less pale. But when he grinned evilly, she decided she'd preferred him nearly dead. 

"The Council wanted to prolong my lifespan so I'd be around for a memory break," he smirked, showing yellowing teeth. "How kind of them. I finally have the strength to actually do something. Slipping into Foxfire is so easy - and a few drugs to your bodyguards did the job."

Sophie wasn't sure whether to be mortified or impressed.

"And here I see my brother, lying on his sickbed. And you were just discussing what would happen if you lost Sophie! Well.... I'm ready to make that happen." Alvar smiled cruelly.

"But you're not with the Neverseen anymore!" Fitz said, but Sophie could hear his voice weakening. Their trust exercise had drained him, and now he was dealing with Alvar. "Why would you do it?"

"Just because I'm not with the Neverseen anymore doesn't mean I'm not willing to strike some deals. I help them capture Sophie, and they'll hide me and cure me." Alvar smirked again. "Doesn't it sound like an excellent deal? Wouldn't you take it?"

Fitz started to try and stand up but fell down again with a cry. Sophie immediately threw her arms around him protectively, blocking him from Alvar.

"And I already see the weak link." Alvar winked. "You're overprotective of Fitz. Well, we just need to tweak your DNA a little..."

"Tweak my DNA?" Sophie demanded.

"Yes," Alvar said. "You know, you're startlingly useful, Sophie. But not with all your love life and connections. But, if we took those away... you'd be the perfect weapon."