The Devil asked me how I knew my way around the halls of hell?

I replied, that I did not need a map of the darkness I knew so well.

~ Edgar Allen Poe 

After little Anna Belle Lee finally disappears into the night, I wander off thru the row of bleachers and back down to the ground again. Retracing my path back thru the empty campus and back to the weight room shadow where I first emerged. I slip easily thru the shadow and drift back into the deep darkness, crossing the threshold back into the abyss and beyond.

To be honest, as far as suicidal girls go? I don't think little Anna Belle Lee wannabe was really committed to the course. More than anything, I think she was just looking for a reason to stick around and check out college. Lucky me, I got to be there for her at a crucial crux in time. Which is sort of half my job here on Earth, the half that doesn't totally suck ass. The other half is not so cool, and a lot more dangerous than this chick will ever be.

In a weird way, I think I will kind of miss talking to little Anna Belle Lee. All things considered, she really did seem like a pretty good listener. Everything said and done, I bet she ends up making some lucky somebody a pretty good girlfriend someday. Even though that guy will obviously never be me. Because after she falls asleep later tonight, all memory of me will be wiped away by morning by her sleepless soul.

Floating thru the darkness of the void back towards home, I can't help but feel like I kind of half-assed my way thru this latest intervention. I mean, sure as shit I saved her little life and everything? But still, I think I could have done a better job of it and left her looking forward to life's mysteries instead of stomping off all pissy and pissed off. Like I could have told her how life was precious and beautiful. How someday she would look back at this moment of darkness and thank her lucky stars, I was in the near vicinity to save her stupid ass from the biggest mistake moment.

That things in her future were in a state of flux and depending on the choices she made she was gonna end up being awesome. All she had to do was just survive high school long enough and things were gonna go her way someday. That she would know love, and life, and children and lots and lots of love stuff in her future. That someday she was gonna meet that special someone, who was gonna complete her and shit. Maybe a dude? Maybe a chick? Maybe both? Maybe both at the same time? I mean it is the age of Aquarius after all, the new millennium and bi chicks are the new cool. So who knows how many loves she will know in this exciting time on the old blue salt ball drifting in the stars.

I mean sure, her first heartbreak was going to be a bitch ...but then again who's isn't? But her college experimental years were going to be the envy of everyone at her tenth high school reunion. 

Still, I sorta wished she had gone for plan B. One last big bang before deciding that life was seriously worth living. I think I really could have breathed some life back into that girl, if given half a chance? Oh well, maybe I will get a super sad sexy suicide hot chick next time? Preferably one with a no-to-low moral threshold, like that smoking hot younger Kardashian sister? Yeah, I could seriously see myself getting my A-game on for Kylie K. Who knows, maybe we could even end up with our own reality show?

To be honest, I have a love/hate relationship with about the whole angelic reincarnation thing. One of the things I love is that I have an opportunity to live thousands of lives. To know love and loss, tragedies and triumphs, victories and defeats. One of the things I hate is that horrific teen phase where I am hungry-horny-sleepy-stupid and sort of angry all at the same time, all the time. I mean I get it, my stupid sixteen boy body is practically radiating horny hormones and all. But you'd think after a thousand lifetimes of this condition, that I could control the crap banging around in my brain making me so dumb? Or "sofa king re-Todd-did" as my sister keeps calls it.

I mean technically speaking, I am as old as time itself. I've died more times than I can care to remember. But fortunately for me, I keep getting reincarnated, over and over and over again. I'm like the living definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? I suppose in that way I am sort of insane? But then again I have seen some seriously crazy crap since Father turned the lights on back in in the beginning.

Drifting along thru the primordial darkness, I feel the Chronos start to draw me once more back in the light. The ancient timepiece also acts as a beacon of sorts pulling me along in the right direction thru the darkness. I mean the power to move thru the darkness is within me, which I can do with or without the temporal timepiece just as easily. The timepiece is more magnetically attracted to tragedy, so it has a pull of its own. Kind of like like a beacon...or compass? Yeah, a compass is probably a better description.

Oh well, time to go home to my own current tragic version of hell. Hell in my case, being what passes for my mother's house? Yeah, I still live at home with my mom. I mean I might be a cool ASF badass death dealer and everything, but I am also still 16, so "legally not an adult" yet. Another one of the many stupid reincarnation things that seriously makes me want to puke.

Drifting out of the darkness, I slip thru the shadow and enter my cramped closet. I shed the ol' cape and cowl and hang it up in the back of the black shadow. Then carefully skin off the skeletal skein that gives me the badass grim reaper look. With a quick flip of the closet light switch, I close the portal into the darkness and I am back in my reality once more. The sort of sad reality of my own continued existence on this mortal coil. I slip out of the closet and back into my room, and I am finally home again. 

"Yay me." I drone dryly.

"Todd!?!" Immediately my mother barks from downstairs.

"Yeah mom, what's zup?" I shout back down.

Okay, so I might have slightly lied a little to Anna Belle Lee back there on the bleachers. My name is not really Ryder Pale, legally speaking. I mean, I wish it was Ryder Pale, because that would so be cool with the ladies and get all kinds of attention. So maybe I will change it to Ryder Pale when I finally turn 18? But for now it is...

"Todd Mathew Andrews!" My mother's voice yells up from the kitchen. "Do not, yeah mom what'zup me! I am your mother! When I call you ...you get your butt down here ASAP and you see what I want!"

"And you never let me forget that fact, do you lady!"  I silently scream back in my head.

"Get your sister, it's time for dinner!"

"Okay, mom! Be right down!" I bellow back.

"Now Todd, before it gets cold!" 

"Yeah mom, I got it!"

"Oh my God Re-Todd, you're sofa king stupid. Like you know that right?" Comes the sarcastic snort from the door to my room. My bedroom door slowly swings open to reveal the perpetual bane of my existence, my kid sister Amethyst aka "just call me Ame".

"Ever heard of knocking first?" I snap back at my sinister sister. "And don't use the Lord's name in vain, it's like blasphemous and shit."

"Oh my gawd, Re-Todd! I am sofa king proud of you. You actually used a word with more than three syllables in it! And even in a full sentence that almost made sense?" She snaps her fingers sarcastically. "Holy shit bro, way to go! All those SAT wordy books are really paying off big dividends, huh?"

"Whatever," I shrug her off into irrelevancy.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Re-Todd, I almost forgot that you don't know math to good, huh?" She rolls her eyes over and continues to derisively mock me behind my back. "Yeah, dividends? Like that means 'big time bro'. See, yet another new word you can try to misuse in a sentence, you total Re-Todd."

Oh, and I also have a sinister sister, who you are just gonna love to death. Holy Hell, knows I would love to kill her, ever since she turned twelve and knows everything ever. And now that she is finally fourteen, somehow she is even worse. Because not only does she know everything ever, but she is also "totally for surez" I still don't know shit. Something else she takes a great deal of pleasure in lording over me with all kinds of "Sofa king totes stupid" comments. And that Re-Todd nickname she recently bequeathed unto me not less than a fortnight ago.

But such is my lot in life. Every death has its day, unfortunately hers is way too far away for my current mood. Too far to even count the days, until the sweet sound of stillness will finally silence her stupid self-centered little sarcastic life. 

"Oh, and FYI, deadbeat dad was late on the child checks again. So mommy's in a no-money-mood." Amethyst pouts all put out, probably because she won't be getting another new phone anytime soon. "She won't say anything about it, as usual. But you know how stressed she gets when things get tight? So for both our sakes, try not to be a total tool tonight, okay Re-Todd?"

Okay, so I kind of take it back, my sister can be kind of meh sometimes, when she wants to be. And I guess today is "Meh Day", or whatever.

"Okay, thanks for the heads up. I'll be cool." I nod along. 

"As if, that was even remotely possible, stupid Re-Todd." She snaps off one final insult thrown lazily back over her shoulder. "Don't forget Todd ...never go full Re-Todd-Did."

"Suffer not the witch." I retort evenly.

"Why the hell couldn't I have been an only child?" She sighs sadly and drifting down the hallway towards dinner.

"Because I was born first, and you were merely a drunken afterthought? That happened during halftime of a preseason football game, that no one cared about watching after the first quarter was over." I mutter the truth under my breath following her down the hallway.

Honestly, I would love nothing more than to tell my sister the sad truth about her tragic creation, but she already has some strange self-esteem issues. And I really don't need the extra added aggravation of having to deal with her dumb ass up on some bleachers some starry night in the near future. And I highly doubt that chanting "Jump-Jump-Jump" and encouraging her to end herself is going to be looked upon too favorably by the big guy in the sky. 

Still one can dream of a better world, right? A world in which my sinister sister isn't always actively trying to make my life a little more miserable than it has to be. Or at least one where she is not constantly calling me Re-Todd. Seriously cannot wait to change my name to Ryder Pale. 

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