Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and self harm is in this story. If any of this offends you please click off. Always feel free to talk to me if you need me.

Ryan's pov-
I slowly open my eyes. I didn't have the energy to get out of bed anymore. I just wanna lay here forever. I haven't been to work in a week. People are starting to get worried. Shane has called me almost fifteen times in the past ten minutes.
-incoming text from Shane-
Shane- Ryan please!
Shane- I'm coming. I'm otw.
Shane- be ready bc we are going to the lake.

   The lake. That was always my happy place, now I have no use of going anywhere.
Knock Knock
Shane's pov
    After texting Ryan I rush in my car.
I don't know what's going on, but I'm determined to find out.
I run to his apartment
Knock Knock
He slowly opened the door.
He had circles under his eyes, he looked like he hasn't slept in weeks, he looked horrible.
He just stared blankly at my feet.
"R-Ryan"? I ask
He looked up to meet my eyes.
"Did you get a swim suit"? I say, walking in his house and shutting the door.
"I-I'm sick Shane" he says blankly walking up the stairs and shutting his bedroom door behind him.
Is he getting something?
After 30 minutes he still hasn't showed any signs of coming down.
With tears in my eyes I storm up the stairs and open his door
He was laying on his back and blankly staring at the ceiling.
He slowly looked over to me.
He was completely drained.
Something is wrong.
Very wrong.
"Ryan.." I whisper, more tears forming in my eyes.
He broke down.
He immediately curled up and balled.
I quickly run over to Ryan
I pulled him close.
"I-I can't deal with this anymore"! He sobs
I hugged him.
"It hurts" he would sob over and over.
"Shhhh... I know." I would whisper.
"No one would miss me" he sobs
I quickly grab his face and make him look in my eyes.
"Never say that again" I say, tears running down my face now.
"I don't know about the outside world but right now your with me! And I care so much for you." I choked up
"And I'm not leaving until i know your ok" I add.
He quickly Buried his face back in my chest.
"I'm going to give you the love and affection you deserve, Ryan bergara" I say, kissing his forehead.
I pick him up and take him to the kitchen.
"I-I'm not hungry" he says, holding onto my neck like a shy child.
"When's the last time you ate"? I ask
He shrugs.
"Your eating" I scold, putting him on the counter.
I fish out some yogurt and put granola in it.
Knowing he won't eat anything bigger.
Out of the blue he places his lips on mine.
"R-Ryan." I say, blushing
"I-I'm sorry I'm just not myself and I just shouldn't of done that it was wr-"
I interrupted him by placing my lips on his.
I slowly pull away.
He quickly ran to his room and shut the door again.

..Shut me out, again.