Family Guy first ever chicken fight - Jaune Arc (Peter Griffin) vs Mercury Black (Ernie the giant chicken) Requested by raviappadoo

Zaku was looking over the orbs he intended to use to show his audience, after finally the one he wants to show. "This one shall do." Zaku said.

"Now then, let's see what world we have here." Zaku said to himself as he looked into the orb. The orb was in the colour of blue and inside was...chaotic as Zaku's eyes widen at this.

"Oh shit." Zaku muttered.

Back with the audience, Glynda and Ozpin were discussing with Ruby about being Roman. Hopefully Qrow or Tai will be appear soon and the young huntress can get punish by her family member.

Yang and Emerald were both flirting with Mercury. He was blushing and tried to not getting a boner. And to not looking down at their "assists".

Zaku came in with the orb in hand.

"Zaku, what are we going to watch?" Weiss asked in a curious tone.

"Well, I do a viewing right here." Zaku presented as he held the orb in his palm. "But I don't know what to say about it really"

"Is it a dark world?" Pyrrha asked with a tinge of worry.

"Well no..." Zaku said. "It's just um..., how do I explain it?" Zaku said.

"With words." James remarked.

"Is there a problem?" Glynda asked.

"There are so many words to describe this, I don't even know where to begin" Zaku said. "But it's a little...chaotic and nonsensical but funny as hell."

"Is it going to be good or bad?" Roman asked with a raised brow.

"I'll leave that in your opinions." Zaku said.

"Then what's the problem?" Jaune asked, throwing his hands up. "Just show the viewing already."

"It can't be that bad." Blake said. "Plus, I'm pretty it will be fine."

"Alright famous last words." Zaku sighed and he prepared his arm. "Don't say I didn't warn you." Zaku said as he tossed the orb in and the screen started up.

The screen opened up to Vale and the camera zoomed in on a local shopping store. And one of the shoppers coming out of there was Jaune Arc, dressed in winter gear.

The young Arc was then greeted by a man in a chicken suit. "Well, looks like someone's going to a big party tonight" The chicken man observed as Jaune turned to him.

"You should pick up a chicken strip party pack for all your friends!" The mascot said, making a chicken sound when he said pickup.

"Oh, that is so lame." Nora rolled her eyes.

"I know right?" Yang said with a small smirk. "It was a bucking mess!" Yang said.

"Oh god no!" Coco groaned.

"Does she ever stop?" Roman muttered to Ruby.

"Unfortunately no." Ruby said.

"Here's a coupon!" The mascot offered as he handed out the offer to Jaune.

Jaune just shook his head and waved his hands in response. "Woah, woah, look pal, I don't take coupons from giant chickens." Jaune stated. "Not after last time." Jaune said bitterly as folded his arms and remembered back to that day.

"I bet it couldn't have been that bad." Ren said.

"Just wait and see the best part." Zaku said.

"I'll just have to take your words for it."

The screen the faded back to that day where Jaune was in another store, paying for his items.

"Oh yeah, and that nice faunus guy outside gave me this coupon!" Jaune said with a smile as he gestured to Mercury as a chicken faunus outside of the store and handed the coupon to the cashier.

"So Mercury gave Jaune a coupon." Ren commented.

"That's nice." Pyrrha said in agreement.

"You kinda look cute Mercury." Emerald whispers to Mercury.

"I'm already cute as it is." Mercury replied.

"I'm sorry sir," The woman said, presenting the coupon to the young man. "This is expired."

"You son of a!" Jaune said angrily as he turned to the faunus chicken with a face of rage while Mercury had a look of shock.

Jaune then jumped through the window and tackled the Mercury to the ground.

"Oh my goodness!" Weiss exclaimed in shock as she placed her hand over her mouth.

"What in Remnant is he doing!?" Glynda asked in shock.

"Kicking his ass, that's what!" Nora exclaimed wildly. "Kick his butt back to the farm, Jaune-Jaune!" Nora cheered on.

"Take him down baby!" Yang shouted.

"Yang?" Ruby said in surprise. She was comfortable sitting next to Roman.

"What?" Yang said. "I'm just supporting my boyfriend is all."

They both got up from the ground and Mercury immediately began to punch Jaune in the face, with Jaune punching him back.

Mercury then punched Jaune's face. Jaune then managed to duck and uppercutted the faunus away from him.

"Damn, that's gotta hurt" Coco cringed.

"Like you wouldn't believe" Zaku said.

"How do you know?" Velvet asked.

"When you're wasted and somehow find your way onto a farm...well, let's just leave it at that" Zaku said.

Jaune charged towards the faunus but the Mercury then kicked the blonde in the face, doing it a second time but Jaune retaliated by striking him in the face and proceeded to beat the bird.

"That's some pretty good fighting" Roman complimented.

"The boy has skill." Tyrian muttered to himself.

"This is sorta of enjoyment." Salem said.

He punched the faunus towards highway steps and he ran up them, Jaune following him to continue the fight.

Jaune then grabbed onto Mercury's leg, causing him to fall down. He quickly got back up only for Jaune to repeatedly punch him in his lying face, pushing the faunus back until he used his arm again.

"Tear it off, Jaune!" Nora said with an edge.

"Nora, it's just a stupid." Ren reminded.

"Then it will be a bloodbath." Tyrian said in a excited tone.

Jaune got the upper hand once more a continued his fist barrage up towards a railing where he punched the Mercury so hard, he punched him off the bridge on onto the street.

But Mercury managed to land on the top of a truck. Mercury gave a false smile and waved away the angry blonde.

"You dumb coward!" Nora cried out in anger as she stood up and shook her fist at Mercury. "Come fight our fearless leader so you can lose with some respect!"

"Yeah!" Weiss said in agreement.

"Weiss?" Yang said, stunned to see her team mate act this way.

"Sorry," The heiress chuckled nervously. "I guess the excitement got to me."

Mercury sat up and turned around but his face changed to a look of pure shock and terror.

Somehow, Jaune was on the next bridge away from him. He then ran from the other side of the bridge and leapt off it, landing on top of the chicken and rolled on the truck.

"But... how... did... he..." Emerald spluttered in shock as her mind tried to process how he could've been on the next bridge.

"How is that possible?" Glynda asked.

"It's just how it is." Zaku said bluntly.

"Does seem rather satisfactory for an answer." Ozpin said.

Jaune was on top of the bird and began to punch him over and over until the faunus grabbed Jaune's fist, mid punched and began to punch him in the face over and over.

"Come on, other me! Don't let that bird take you down!" Jaune encouraged. "Don't let that bird take you down! Show him what an Arc is capable of!"

"Should I be enjoying this?" Watts asked.

"Yes you should..." Zaku explain.

"This is stupid." Watts muttered.

It didn't last as they both punched each over until the faunus pushed Jaune away from him and Jaune nearly fell of the truck but managed to grab onto a ladder on the back of the truck.

The driver of the truck casually turned to see on his rear view mirror of what was happening. He then averted his view back on the road where he saw he was about to run into a man by a folding bridge that was going back up.

"Oh dear!" Penny said in worry over the casualties.

"This isn't going to end up well for either of them." Salem muttered.

"No it is not." Ironwood said.

The driver panicked and turned the wheel of his truck as the man on the road dodged out of the way as the truck skidded onto the ascending road.

The truck was about to fall onto a nearby boat. Lucky for the two of the fighters, a passing helicopter was coming by near the scene. Mercury then grabbed onto the landing skids, with Jaune grabbing onto the faunus as the truck fell on the boat and exploded on impact.

"Oh no, Jaune!" Neo cried out, "Oh, thank goodness." She breathed out. Neo got her voice back by Zaku's powers

"It's a good thing they're okay." Ren said.

"I don't think that's gonna stop them from fighting" Ozpin said.

A bullhead flew away from the now burning boat and was now headed towards the city.

Jaune gritted his teeth in determination as he climbed up on the faunus, all the way up to his back. Mercury saw him and began to jab him in the face with the back of his elbow.

"There's a time and a place!" Glynda exclaimed as she pinched her brow.

"Yeah" Nora said. "So don't let that feathered son of a bitch win!"

Jaune managed to duck under the blows and punched the fowl poultry villain in his ribs over and over.

The punching stopped once they both saw they were heading towards an office building right in front of them. Half of Vale is destroyed and the other half isn't destroyed.

"Oh dear me." Pyrrha said as she placed her hand on her mouth.

"Things aren't gonna end well for those guys in there" Mercury said.

"No indeed" Weiss said.

Inside of the building, the people were just having a casual conversation, unaware of any problems that were occurring.

"I'm gonna need these by Friday Mike." One office worker said to his co-worker.

"Ooh, is that gonna give us enough time to cross check the-" The worker was about to ask until Jaune and the Chicken came crashing through the windows, knocking into the two as they stumbled around in the office space.

"Thank god, something interesting" Yang muttered.

"I'll win the fight!" Mercury said with confidence.

"No! It's going to be me!" Jaune yelled and the two boys stare down each other and Zaku can see sparks of lightening in their staring content.

'I should probably avoid those two watching DBZ & Gears of War.' Zaku thought to himself.

They got up from the ground they crashed on and began beating the hell out of each other again. Jaune gaining the upper hand by pushing the faunus back.

"He's got the upper hand!" Ruby cheered on.

"Now take that guy out!" Nora said.

Jaune then grabbed the faunus by the waist and charged into a nearby wall, crashing into the next room which was the photocopying room.

Jaune Arc then slammed Mercury's head onto the photocopier itself, Mercury tried to fight off Jaune but he grabbed the scanner and then proceeded to slam it onto the faunus' head.

Jaune slammed the copier onto his head over and over, the faunus bleeding as papers came out of the copier, showing off the results of the damage.

"Holy Oum!" Jaune exclaimed.

"That seemed a little overkill" Ren said as he was shocked Jaune would go that far.

"Mercury knew what he was getting into" Nora said in an intense tone.

"For what?!" Weiss exclaimed. "He gave Jaune a bad coupon!"

"And Jaune gave him a...bad...ah, damn it I had something" Yang growled in anger.

The fight seemed to be over as Jaune kept breathing in and out heavily and let go of the Giant Chicken, letting him drop to the ground as Jaune walked away from the spot.

He walked out of the hole as the onlookers watched in shock. "Chicken Faunus... Jaune breathed. "Gave me a bad coupon-Argh!" Jaune said until he was tackled from behind from the Giant Chicken, still alive and ready for more.

"Oh no!" Pyrrha exclaimed.

"Punk move, Mercury!" Nora angrily said.

Jaune struggled around with the chicken on his back, knocking over a few desks and struggled to get the chicken off him.

Jaune and the Chicken then collided with a window and it broke and the two of them began to fall to very ground below.

"Oh no!" Penny said in terror.

"No!" Neo joined in shock.

"How is he gonna survive!?" Ironwood asked.

Jaune screamed and closed his eyes once they collided to the ground. But luckily for the blonde, he managed to survive the fall by using Mercury's body as cover for when they landed, presumably killing Mercury in the process.

"No my love!" Emerald said.

"So long as he's alive, that's all that matters" Neo said.

"At least it's over now" Penny said.

Jaune slowly got up from the body of his fallen nemesis and wiped his lip. The victorious Arc then got off the body of the Chicken Faunus and walked away from it.

Jaune Arc walked towards the sunset. His fight with the lying Chicken Faunus was worth it. For he is, victorious.

The screen then turned to the body of the Chicken Faunus... whose eye suddenly shot open, signifying him being alive. The eye then glared at the leaving Arc boy, internally vowing to get him another day. The camera zoomed out showing everything in Vale destroyed.

"He's survived that!?" Penny said in shock. "How!? How could've have done that. Does he have Aura!?" Penny continued as the screen turned off.

"It... Might be possible" Blake said, unsure if that were the case.

"That has to be bat far the most chaotic and weirdest fight I've ever seen" Glynda said.

"It was...something" Hazel said. "I'm amazed that managed to cause that amount of damage"

"Glad you enjoyed it." Zaku said.

Audience:

RWBY (Ruby, Wiess, Blake, and Yang)

JNPR (Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren)

Ozpin

James Ironwood

Penny Polendina

Glynda Goodwitch

Mercury Black

Emerald Sustrai

Roman Torchwick

Neopolitan (Neo)

Hazel Rainart

Salem

Tyrian Callows

Arthur Watts

Next time

So this is the famous suicide squad