"And what's the worst you take
From every heart you break?
And like the blade you stain"

Helena - My Chemical Romance

Aera
🥀

One sheep. Two sheep.

Aera kept her eyes closed. She tried oh so hard to, she really did. She fought the urge to open them with every fiber of her being.

Three sheep. Four sheep.

The warm bathwater did little to cool her nerves. Impending doom still settled in a pool within her stomach.

She felt a presence closing in, and she sunk further below the water. The warmth now kissed the bottom of her earlobes.

A million sheep. Sheep on fire.

She scented him before she heard him.

Oh fuck it.

Her eyes opened against her will, spotting the man as he entered the bathing area.

Aera took her fill, water still running rivulets down his taut body. His drying linen hung low on his waist, too low. Hinting at the narrowness of his hips and waist. He pretended to look around for something, sinew tightening and releasing with every movement. His white hair was slicked back from his face. Tattoos played across his fair skin, telling a story that she had now read. One along his spine, another on his wrist. One right by the right edge of his hip bone, exactly where she had kissed him.

He stood up to his full height, cursing and leaning on the tall sink.

Pretending like she wasn't there at all.

Things between them since what happened one could describe as interesting. Not awkward, thank fuck.

But charged...every moment. She had always desired him, but the feeling never went away. She wanted to jump him every chance she got.

Aera would never admit that. Not after what happened the morning after.

No, instead they continued to travel by foot and coach to their destination. They had told the captain to meet them at the coast for a swift journey back, but during the meantime they wished to stay low and track Nox through the cult that had formed around the god.

So here they were. A little closer to their nearing their mission.

And Aera. Was. Restless.

She played with the bubbles in the water, skating her elegant fingers across the top of the bath. Avoiding the man as his body was now angled in her direction.

Breathe. She forced herself, trying to control the pace of her nearly immortal heart. Don't let him get to you.

That idea collapsed, when Jimin grabbed onto the side of the tub.

"What are you doing?" Aera asked, accosted. She threw her hands over her chest and moved away from the man though he was still a safe distance away. "I am bathing!"

Jimin scrunched his face, looking past her and at the shelves that lined the white bathroom. He leaned with his arms onto the tub, craning to look for whatever he needed. This Tenebrian inn came with many more amenities, lucky for them. He didn't even spare her a glance when he answered, "I've seen it all before. Tasted it all before."

Aera swore the water started to boil around her. He said it like it was nothing. Like being with her once was enough to satisfy his curiosity, and now her naked body was a tempting as a bed sheet.

All week. All week it had been like this.

It was more than likely her fault.

When they had woken up the next morning after their joining, Jimin had been ready...

And Aera?

Aera turned around, opened her big mouth, and told the man it was never happening again.

Jimin did not protest. Did not seem disappointed. Did not get angry. Sad. Lustful.

The bastard just smiled, and said okay.

No one ever only wanted her once. It didn't mean she'd let them sleep together again. But she had received letters begging for another night with her.

Not Jimin. Never Jimin.

Aera felt her heart shatter once more, not realizing her denial of him had been a test. A test to see if he truly wanted her, or if getting her to sleep with him was just another game.

Still his answer was good, his acceptance of her refusal gift from the gods. Because they should never sleep together again. Aera knew that it was for the best.

Because what they shared didn't feel like hatred, and that's the only place that had room in her heart for him.

Still, Aera wondered if she had walked into another one of her games without realizing.

He was insulting her just the same. Annoying. Prodding. But he acted like they did as little as holding hands. He never stared at her too long. Kept his distance. Gave her more of his blood, but in a cup. Brushed her off like she was a fly in his space, and slept on sofas when they stayed in a single room.

Today felt like the final branch being snapped.

"It doesn't mean you get to prance around with your dick out and invade my space." Aera bit back, despite feeling his phantom touches.

What she didn't expect during this time, was the dying need to feel him again. Of course, she knew he would feel good. She never expected the connection between them that felt like their souls meeting. Or that he would be godly.

She couldn't look away from him. She couldn't catch a glimmer of his hair without her heart catapulting. His sordid little smiles wound her up, and the veins on his hands refused to let her go.

She found herself waiting for his insults, just so she could hear his throaty laughter and silky tone.

Every second without him felt like blood thirst.

I told him never again.

Aera leaned back in the tub, crossing her arms. Waiting for the man to just leave.

And he didn't care. She swiped at the bathwater, frustrated in various ways. So much for seducing him into submission.

Then, his smooth skin slid past her line of vision.

Jimin leaned forward, now over the tub. Bare torso and all, as he reached past her. Aera froze, taking in every inch of him as he stretched across her, his arms strained. Her whole body was locked within the tub, so tense she felt like she could sink.

His face came closer, and closer and she couldn't move. Even when his cheek brushed across her own. Even when he turned, his smirk lighting up a path all the way between her legs.

"Relax Aera." The man said, voice decadent and spoken lowly. His eyes danced across her face, and she avoided them. Not wanting to give him a reaction. But she could see drops of water falling to the ends of his hair, winter blades of grass with frosted dew. His lips were lavacious as his smile coiled like a viper, "It's not like I'm going to fall and land inside of you or something."

"Ugh, you moronic pest!" Aera screeched, pushing at his bare chest. She hated the flames that torched in her palms at the touch.

Jimin stood, laughing fully. He ran a hand through his wet hair, showing of his body as he held up what he left behind.

His cologne. Oh.

Aera grumbled, trying to hide beneath the bubbles.

"Unless you want me to." Jimin said with a wink, his eyes now taking in Aera.

Her heart spiked in speed, at the first suggestive comment he had made since they slept together. Then it dawned on her.

"Oh!" Her scowl matched the fiery gates of the underworld. She grabbed the lip of the bathtub and stood easily. "You dickhead. Snake. Fiend. You thought that ignoring me and acting like sleeping with me was nothing at all to you would tempt me more? You agreed to never being with me again because you wanted to see how long it would take for me to break." Aera bared her teeth, "Well guess what Jimin, I am not one to beg for anyone's attention instead of asking for what I want. Lucky for me, I don't want you. I had you once, and it was good enough for me Out, get out!."

Jimin stopped smiling, as she knew he would now. His eyes devouring her just as he promised the other night.

Aera took advantage of his silence, not caring that she was entirely bare before him. She placed her hands on her hips,  "You just think you're the greatest thing ever now, don't you? All because I gave you the time of day."

"I am the greatest thing ever, and you gave me more than the time of day." Jimin mocked her. He kept his expression blank, as he looked directly in the eyes, all male ego. "I have the nail marks to prove it."

Aera laughed, despite her cheeks rising in temperature. Jimin's eyes grazed over her flush skin. "No you don't, they're already healed."

He lifted a brow, his tongue gliding across his plump lips. "Would you like to make more?"

Yes, oh gods yes. I've been waiting for you to ask.

"Fuck off."

Aera knew whatever need she had for him was dangerous. A truly pitiful thing, and a piece of her she wished she could kill.

Sleeping with me is a game to him. Sleeping with me is a game to him. Just a game he believes he won.

Whatever she had felt the other night, it was not the same for him. She is just beautiful, and he is just a man with eyes and good aesthetic taste. That man who looked at her like she was shattering the world around him, was gone as soon as the sun rose. More stupidly, she had a dream. A dream that he would wake up, and instead of trying to sleep with her, he would tell her that all the years of torment had been because he loved her.

How stupid. How childish. How weak.

That is what he would say to her if she spoke her desired out loud.

She needed to win back control. Over herself, and soon him. Soon he would be falling at her feet for another taste. Maybe. If the tides shifted in her favor.

"Agh, so close. But yet so far away from how I would like you to use that word." Jimin winced, grabbing the back of his neck and blatantly flexing his abdomen.

That's it. She was going to wring his neck.

"What happened was never meant to occur once, let alone again. Jimin, we can't stand one another. I said yes to sleeping with you because of what it meant for me to have that experience without the pain. You wanted it because we've been away from the castle and our emotions caught up to us. That is all. If your plot is to see how many times you can get bitchy uptight Aera to cave, well then give up now. I will not fuck you again unless you're screaming and crying on the floor, begging me for it."

Jimin placed his tongue within his cheek, his eyebrows raised in scrutiny. Aera continued to glare at him, dripping wet within the tub. It was the longest she looked into his eyes in days. Gods, how she hated that she couldn't pull away even if she wanted to.

"We'll see who falls to their knees first. Dear Aera. Don't worry, the little stunt you pulled yesterday won't count against you." Jimin nodded to himself, then sent her a smirk. He grabbed the edge of his towel, and she gasped softly, "You are just adorable when you refer to yourself in third person."

Before she could even begin to comprehend the fact he just called her adorable, a compliment, the man ripped off his towel and threw it in her face, stalking off completely uncovered into their shared room.

She caught the towel and held it over her fluttering heart. Traitor it was, to her mind which endlessly denied him.

Jimin had won this round. Leaving her naked, undone, and more conflicted than ever.

🩸🩸🩸🩸

They had to continue traveling if they were ever going to find the god of shadows and his assistant.

Setting out at morning light, they hurried into the carriage Jimin had stolen from an unsuspecting rich merchant.

"I feel like we are closer." He mentioned softly, his voice soft as the summer breeze.

"To the priest." Aera answered back finitely, eyeing him.

"'Maybe." The man shrugged, fiddling with a loose thread on his suit jacket. he kept his gaze away from her as his jaw clenched. "But I feel like it is Nox himself." Jimin said, tapping the edge of their golden ride as he changed the subject entirely. "I heard they were once called chariots."

She did not press more about Nox, for it was clear that Jimin felt just as disturbed by the fact. While they had not discussed it, his outright denial of the god in front of witnesses was enough to convince her that the man had not gone entirely mad during the last year. Aera took him in, legs spread and his shoulder resting on the side wall. Taking up as much goddamn space as he could. Before, it was a mere annoyance.

Now?

Every time his skin slightly brushed hers she wanted to rip off her clothes. They charred her.

She eyed him carefully. Does he not feel it too? She fanned herself, as the man looked casually out a window.

Such a prince. He wouldn't mind sleeping with her again. That much was apparent, after her conversation with him today. He just didn't care to try hard enough to make it happen. No, he expected her to pounce on him.

Why am I the one always pining? She had slept with the man and was somehow further away from seducing him than before.

"Good thing I don't care." Aera replied haughtily. Nice Aera. What a vixen of the night, how could any man deny you?

She stiffened further in her seat, warring with her own mind. Old habits would die hard between them, if her goal was to soften him. She couldn't be herself, because he hated her. And it was hard to be anything but icy towards him.

Jimin crossed his arms, watching her through half-lidded eyes. "Come on, don't be that way."

"What way is that?"

"Flippant."

The edges of her lips curled up coyly. That was his issue?

"What?" Aera batted her lashes, sitting forward in her seat. Jimin kept his eyes trained carefully on her own, but she could feel the heat of his suggestion across her chest. She wore a deep emerald dress, with a square neckline that cinched her waist and brightened her jade eyes. "You want me to be engaged with what comes out of your mouth? I am only interested with what you can do with it." Jimin's cheeks flushed, his black eyes turning glassy. Her smile widened, "Now be a good boy and stay quiet."

Aera giggled internally, enjoying his silence as she closed her eyes. Take that you mongrel.

Peace ended abruptly when she was yanked from her seat.

"You beast!" Aera beat at Jimin's shoulders as he slid her to the edge of the carriage seat. "Let go you savage!"

She lost most of her fire when the man shifted from his seat, and onto his knees before her.

"What? What are you—"

Jimin grabbed the edges of her dress, his eyes lit from within. That harsh color still painting his cheeks.

"Keeping you engaged."

Aera's stomach dropped, heat climbing up her legs where his delicate touch grazed her. He lifted the fabric inch by inch, waiting for her command if she were to will him to stop. She didn't.

"Jimin—"

The man shushed her, placing his finger on top of his lips and looking up through his lashes from his place below her. He wrapped a single arm around her waist, bringing her just off the lip of the seat.

"If you must be this way, I must break you. Let's see how indifferent you can remain with my lips between your legs." The man paused, as he watched Aera's chest heave. Her ivory cheeks were the color of cranberries. "What has you silent now? In a few moments, you'll be crying out my name and forgetting all the reasons you hate me. Just like the other night."

Aera narrowed her eyes, but made no moves to stop him as he curled up more of the material of her skirts. She wanted this, she wanted him right here below her. Up and up his eyes traveled from her undergarments, to her irises. He was careful to hold their connection, even as he placed a gentle kiss to the inside of her knee. She felt the touch from her toes up to her skull.

"I could never forget."

Jimin ran his nose along the flesh he had kissed, his eyes closing. She felt the slow outtake of his breath on her skin when he closed his eyes and whispered, "But can you forgive what I have truly done?

"What?" Some of that blissful, wrong heat left Aera replaced by something unbearable. It seemed like Jimin felt the shift too, as his expression ached with unspoken misery.

He had never been afraid to hurt her. What kept him refrained?

Aera stayed quiet, and so did he. Both too terrified to be the first to say something that would make the other run.

Before she could question the sudden coldness of his skin against her own, the carriage jolted.

"Watch out!"

Aera felt her body slam harshly against the back of the coach, as Jimin launched his body into her own.

"Would you mind!" She screamed, trying to wrestle his larger body off of hers. No attack had occurred, only the slight bump that the carriage must of ridden over.

Jimin only groaned, his head remaining face down in her chest. Of course.

"This isn't funny, I will-" Her words fell short, when he shifted and there were three long and bloody claw marks down the males spine. When she pressed her hand into the wound to stop the bleeding, she felt a painful tremor run down her own back. "Fuck!" She exclaimed accidentally pushing the man off of her.

No. Fuck no. This could not be. This could not be at all.

The man groaned on the ground, sounding disgruntled.

Aera could not care less.

"Get up." Her words were thin threads, slicing skin of his that was bare.

Jimin lifted his head finally, his lip curled over fanged teeth, "You're right. I do not need any help, despite throwing myself in front of you to prevent whatever- that thing was from ripping you apart."

Aera was murderous, "It wouldn't be the first time someone has done it."

Jimin winced. His eyes were downcast as he managed to slowly slide off the floor. He stretched his body carefully, more blood pouring from his back onto the floor.

She gave him little time, before she sliced her wrist open with her nail.

"Oh! Aera why would you-" Jimin looked down at his left wrist, grabbing at the flesh.

"Look." Her voice refused to raise above a soft whisper. Jimin bared his teeth, ready to fight. "Look!" She repeated, losing some of her shock and trading it for insanity.

He shook his head, cursing as he lifted his wrist. It was only when he opened his palm, that he realized it was not his flesh she had injured. She watched all the color drain from his face, as his caught the red bleeding down her wrist.

"Aera." Jimin's voice wobbled, and she thought that maybe he would cry. "We cannot be pereche."

He said it like one would announce the end of their world. And to her, to him, maybe it was.

It had been fine, she had understood before. He had wanted her body, and that was all. He desired her.

It was impossible. But Aera knew without a doubt, that what he could barely speak aloud was true.

The blood lust, the growing need for him. The urge to kiss him, rather than to fight. It was all coming together just to tear her apart once more.

Jimin was her pereche.

Aera was desolate, her voice bare as a birch. She eyed him like he was invisible, "I had a pereche. I killed him. This is impossible. This is wrong."

I will not be tied to any other man.

That is what Aera believed. The last man betrayed her, but at least he wanted her. Jimin wanted another woman.

She couldn't help the panic that settled into her body. The carriage, chariot, disappeared around her. Her vision blanked and her chest heaved in and out heavily with every labored breath. She grabbed at the edges of her hair, wondering when she would wake up from the nightmare of this life.

"I can't breathe." Aera wheezed out, as she grasped at her chest. Pulling at the hem of her emerald gown that now suffocated her.

Jimin's face appeared before her, and it only fractured her further. He looked at her with all the kindness in the world, with all the sadness. She wanted to rip him to pieces, and scatter him. Not a single bit of his look was love.

She was stuck, once again.

"How?" Jimin's voice shook endlessly, and so did his hands as he knelt before her. A fierce determination entered his delicate face as he glanced over her wavering form. He was more than likely uncomfortable watching the usually impenetrable woman crumble before him, "I-I can fix this."

Fix this? Of course, being tied with her was shattering. It was something to recant, to take back.

She should have never slept with him. She should have never let him touch her in the the first place. He had been right to avoid her all of these years.

"You've done it again. You have made a fool out of me." She lifted her head, her eyes burning into him with a hatred that threatened to swallow them both. Her teeth chattered through her hysteria ridden words.

This could just be another plot against her.

Jimin faltered under the stare, seeing now that she meant it. His hands did not leave her shoulders, there touch seeping through her dress.

"Aera I didn't know-"

Of course he didn't. He would have never chosen to bind himself to Aera, not even at the chance of making her miserable for the rest of her life. He would never jeopardize himself.

"Your father! You are bred from the only man that was able to have a second pereche. This is all your fault. You should have known, I should have-" Aera choked on the words, coughing as she wrenched herself out of Jimin's grip.

I should have never given myself to a man who did not fully want me.

The shell Jimin thought he helped build around her was soft. She was spineless. She was poisoned berries that could not help but be razed, over and over for their initial luster. People did not fear her iron teeth, as they knew they would barely feel it's cut. She inspired lust and avoidance, not fear.

No good could come from this. No one would want to keep her, not the ones that mattered.

"I do not understand. But I will figure this out." Jimin stepped away from her, without nursing his wounds. His look was far away as he stared down at his hands, keeping his back away from the carriage wall.

His look of utter despair turned her heart to dust.

"Gods right you will. Look for ways to sever it." Her voice was sharp as she hugged herself, hoping the throbbing in her back, her head would dissipate with the comfort of her cruelty. "You just can't stop yourself from ruining my life, can't you? You're a master at it, to the point where you don't even have to try, it just happens."

For a moment, she swore she saw hurt cross over his expression. A streak of lightening, as his brows lifted up and his lips fell into a line. His dark eyes reflected the fading sunset, as he refused to breathe. It was gone like it was never there, and Aera knew she had imagined it.

He sunk into the seat, enough to turn away from her. Aera told herself she liked it that way, even as she fought every instinct in her body to go dress his wounds. To pull at his chest, and beg him to just give her a chance to make him happy. A dream, a magic fueled dream led by their shared blood.

A darker thought occurred as she sewed her own internal wounds.

Aera could have him by the throat as his pereche. It could be what made him care, what made his heart open for her. It was a small thread, a small chance.

She would take it.

Remember. She told herself, replaying over and over the look of horror on his face when he realized.

Ruin. Revenge. She recalled Garnett's blue eyes, the exact color of the ocean as Jimin sailed far away from her the first time.

She tightened her fists by her side, feeling her fangs unfurl. Discarding every kiss, every small moment of unseen protection that seemed to burn away at all the memories that sickened her.

Be Ruthless.

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(A/N: OOOOOOO Plot twist!!!!

How are we feeling! I am loving itttt! I told y'all their story would have many twists and turns, this being one of them. I am wondering if anyone guessed this before I released the chapter!

Do we have any theories how this is possible?

I really like this chapter because we see more of how Aera's thoughts work. I would say she is less delulu than some of my other main characters, as Jimin blatantly is confusing as fuck in this book. They are the best example of pushing the other away out of sheer pride and the fear of humilation/rejection. Two people that are afraid to love, because it feels better to hate.

Ugh. Love them.