"But darling the truth is
In darkness I'm ruthless
I wanna scream your name
Again and again"

Ruthless - The Marias

(This is a sequel to SOLACE. Read that first, unless you only read Jimin fics. If you don't wanna read the whole novel, at least read the Epilogue of Solace so you have some background).

🥀

The sun was overrated.

It was beautiful, no doubt. But it hurt. You could not stare into it for too long, or it blinded you. And with it, they could see the parts of the world that did not survive the long night.

She much preferred the moon. And the chill of autumn and winter. Which couldn't come soon enough.

Sunlight clung to her pale skin, turning it pink and splotchy. They had no protection against it, other than their inner magic. Aera already disliked the sticky sweetness of summer, and the glowing ball of light from above only exacerbated the issue.

Or maybe it was the swaying of the giant boat she was on.

As if the decrepit thing heard her, it lurched and swelled. Her stomach with it.

She pulled back her slick black hair, its length now almost reaching the bottom of her spine. The thick material of all her dresses was too much for the heat. Even as she hung over the side of the boat, she dug for her knife. Panting and cursing, as she could not find it. She needed something to cut some of the damned material off of her body.

"Damn blasted fucking-"

"Just take it," Jimin said in a droning, yet somehow patronizing, manner.

Her mood soured further, reaching new heights.

Twitching at the sound of his voice, she now stared at the man who she had been trying to escape.

He stared out into the ocean, not taking the effort it took to look in her direction. His hand held his blade carefully, the handle offered towards her.

Some of the gray cast that had taken over during his possession left him. He had been feeding from the reserves replenished by Leila. He was broader in the shoulders than he had been earlier in the year, his bones more defined. More of a man than the boy she had grown up with. His hair was white gold in the light, his slender face and pointed chin proud. He looked more accustomed to the light than she. Before he wore heavy, layered uniforms.

Now his white, frilly blouse bellowed around him in time with the sea breeze.

Aera stared at his outstretched hand like he was offering her freshly picked organs. Why is he here?

They had been on this boat for several days now, as they traveled to Leila's old territory. They had not spoken once the entire time. Well, Aera tried to.

"We could've taken a magicked carriage instead of this ancient thing. It would have been far quicker. And safer."

The man hadn't even replied to her small talk out of pity. He just looked at her blankly, "I am taking the bed. You can find somewhere else to rest."

They fought about sleeping arrangements for a half hour after that. It ended with Aera in the bed, and Jimin slamming the door so he could sleep amongst the stars.

Even as she fumed in bed, she reminded herself.
We don't have to talk if I'm going to kill him anyways. The thought helped her fall asleep at night. They had not spoken since that fight.

They would just simply ignore each other when they crossed each other's paths. And it happened often. Because they were on a fucking boat.

"I do not need your help." Aera bit back, still fumbling for her knife. She felt so dizzy, the wood of the ship started to blend with the blue of the sea.

The man rolled his eyes, his tongue pressing at his cheek. It took less than a minute to have him frenzied and livid, "Take the damn thing Aera. I'll have to throw you overboard if you don't cool down. Your vomit is starting to make me sick."

Aera's stomach rolled, her vision lined with purple and white stars. Fuck my life. She grabbed her midsection, leaning harder against the wooden hull. Her words slipped through gritted teeth, "I don't think I can."

Jimin looked at her harshly, his brows furrowing together. He traced along her hunched body, the sweat that lined her face.

She practically threw herself off the side of the boat when he kneeled on the ground and began to lift at the thick material of her dress. "What are you doing!"

The man looked up at her through thick lashes, his eyes rolling. He placed his knife in his mouth, the plumpness of his lips wrapping around its curved edge as he sifted through a layer of fabric. She cringed when his hand accidentally brushed her ankle, and he pulled away from her like he'd touched a heated stove.

Aera watched distrustfully as he bunched a large amount of the dress in one hand, and took the knife in the other. He moved slowly, keeping eye contact so that she could watch his every movement. He carefully began to cut, easily getting through several layers of skirt. When he was done, a huge clump of velvet lay at her feet.

She could feel the breeze now. Some of the sweat had begun to cool on her neck and around her legs.
"More please." Her voice sounded too soft. She couldn't help it. She hated him with all of her heart, but he was providing her with such relief that she could almost forget it. The man paused, his hands uncertain as they made no move to take off more of her dress. Aera let out a haughty breath, "You've seen a woman's knees before, haven't you? Cut up to there. And then help remove the top layer to my torso."

Aera wasn't shy. She practically had an entire linen dress on under the layer of velvet, maybe a little more see-through. It was improper, but not scandalous.

Jimin squinted in the sunlight as he nodded his head at Aera. His somewhat civil countenance faded at her request, "If you insist."

"Oh, I do." Aera adjusted herself so that it would be easier for him.

He began cutting, much more carefully this time. Eyeing her before placing his hand underneath, guarding her from the knife's edge. She much rather has felt the cold press of the blade, rather than the cold feel of his knuckles brushing against her knee.

"Watch it." She exclaimed. The part of her skin where he touched stung.

The man did not look up, instead biting his lips in focus, "Trust me, I would never touch you on purpose."

He meant every word.

Aera bit her tongue, her stomach twisting. They had not been this close physically since the festival in the Spring, the night after she rid herself of all of her previous bonds and commitments. She had been dancing in the center of the floor, ripping back mead like it was blood. Thinking pleasantly about what a life without being tied to a man she hated would look like. Jimin had startled her out of her daydreams with a soft touch on her shoulder. She had turned, wondering why he even dared to be near her.

"Are you still mad about what I said to you at the Spring fete?"

He had asked if she wanted to dance. Out of pity? He was dared to? She did not know the reason that possessed him. She was not even sure if it was him who asked, and not the diabolical phantom of his mother residing inside of him.

Either way, she told him the only way she would dance with him is if he were never to speak to her again when they stopped. Harsh, but usually she received a middle finger and an eye roll. That time, he had told her she was just as ungrateful as the day he met her. It shocked her because he was being serious. The man had walked away, and she had let it go. What did it matter?

"Why are you thinking about that?" Jimin asked carefully, now moving the knife up to remove the rest of the velvet layer from her skirts. As always, avoid a direct answer. She dared not breathe, as he stood up slowly, coming into his full height. Her head reached the bottom of his nose, and his chest also refused to move with the intake of breath. She did not need to be close to him to know his scent of vanilla and smoked oak. Or that his fair skin had grown more golden the longer they were stuck on this ship. He avoided her eyes religiously his knife held at the bottom of her torso, where the heavy fabric wrapped around her bodice. The first jerk of his knife brought her closer, as it took more effort to rip into this part without cutting her. "Hold onto the ship." He ordered her gruffly, seemingly disgusted that they were now an inch apart. He moved his head to the side, his nostrils flaring.

Wimp.

Aera clicked her tongue, her chest arching forward as her arms moved back. She latched onto the wood, lifting her brow as she watched Jimin step closer once again. He held the sharp point of the knife up, lifting it in a straight line toward her chest. She felt the ripple of it between the fabric and her skin. She shivered as a rogue wind blew against her newly uncovered body. He avoided her chest, even as he cut around the rest of her bodice.

"I don't know. I am curious, that is all." She humored him, attempting casual conversation. What she truly wanted to know was what about that night made him snap.

She winced when he placed his hand on her navel so he could hold her taut and away from the dark velvet. The shrill sound of it slicing set her more on edge.

His dark eyes flickered to hers for a moment, unsettling her. "You already know the answer to that. You're much more curious about other things. Like why Leila and Taehyung ever let me leave the castle. Why you've been sent with me? If I still hold Leila in my heart, and if Nox also resides in me right now. You want to know if you should be sleeping with a knife held to your chest, in fear that I will end you as you sleep. But Aera, I would never make anything, including your death, that easy for you."

Despite the heat, she was plunged into the cold by the sound of her name. She hated that he spoke to her like she was missing something, and was too stupid to figure it out. He was the only person that held that feeling of superiority over her.

"I am not curious about any of that. What should I care that a woman does not want you? And I know that you probably will skip off with Nox and your psychotic grandfather as soon as it's convenient. That is why I am here. To make sure you don't manage to almost fuck up the everything, once again."

She cursed when he paused his knife, his face contorting. He had that uncanny ability to annoy the living fuck out of her, and make her reveal too much of herself. She could not help it. Every time he gained her silence, he believed that he had won. And she couldn't let his ego inflate more than it already had.

"You know less than I thought." He commented, an air of disappointment in his tone. Reprimanding her as he moved along the seams by her chest. He finally looked into her eyes, discarding the last vestiges of fabric to the side of them. Letting it float away from their ship as it floated atop the waves.

Her lips quirked at his insult. Letting spite claw its way out of her throat.

"And what does that mean, nightfall?"

He could never escape his blood, his title. She would continue to hold it against him, if he wished. Not until he proved that he was no longer caught in the barbed thorns of his quest towards demented conquest.

Jimin's eyes glinted darkly, stepping closer. The knife was now held by his side, but she felt more threatened by it than when it was right by her chest. She refused to back down, even as her heart pounded loudly in protest behind her ribcage. His irises caught the light, but they refused to be any other color than shadow.

"I thought you would-you know what? Never mind. Rest assured that I will not run away with anyone else in my bloodline."

Right.

She was not convinced. "I am supposed to trust that?" He thought I would what, hand him a fucking bouquet for doing what was right at the last second? Aera thought it his plan when he realized that he was not actually the chosen one of the night god.

"I do not care what you think," Jimin's words slithered out through gritted teeth. His eyes narrowed in reproach as he looked her up and down, then rested bitterly on her own. "Despise and judge me all you like, I have little to prove. I know I hate Nox more than the rest of you ever could."

Did she trust it? Not at all. It left her speechless and frustrated.

The man stepped away, not even attempting to sheath his knife before he turned his back to her. His footsteps load as he started to cross the deck. Aera was fuming.

Lies, lies, lies. As soon as you realized you were not that important, you wished to end the Queen. As soon as you realized she was the one to attempt murder on your sister, you woke up.

Not when he attacked Leila, and Taehyung. Not when he sliced me to a thousand pieces. 

"You know, it would be nice to get an apology from you! Considering you tried to kill me. We have been out at sea for days. You have not even tried once to rectify yourself to me." She called after him, the thin white material she wore billowing around her. The blackness of her hair slapped in her face, and she quickly brushed it from her eyes.

She saw the man pause, and straighten his back. He twisted his head slightly, so that his profile was a shadow against the beating sun. His next words finding their target with ease.

"Why should I waste my time on you?"

Aera stood on the deck, unable to let the words escape from her throat. It squeezed painfully, when he walked away and underneath the flat level of the ship. She remained that way, tensed and wounded for a long while.

Ever since they were children, he had been the only person able to make her feel helpless.

She had come to the castle around age seven, as her parents were fathered into the larger noble council. They left their manor by the countryside in hopes of opportunity by the coast. She remembered hating it's bleakness. How she had to leave all of her friends behind. She cried every night to her parents, begging to go home.

And because their kind reproduced less, and all the other nobles lived in their respective villages, she was forced into tutoring with the twins and the prince. Even though she was a year older, and knew much more than them.

She had been smitten with Taehyung instantly. And she was sure Jimin would never let her live in peace because of it.

She had been knew, and the prince kind. He had taken to showing her around, and teaching her the ways of the castle. It felt like love back then, when he had taken her hand to bring her along in another childish adventure. It mattered not he might not feel the same.

Jimin did not like that, as his friend was occupied by another person. A girl, who did not like to sword fight or ride horses. And stared at the young prince with wide, hopeful eyes. 

So in their schooling, Jimin would do everything to torture her. He would pull her long dark hair until her ribbons would uncurl. He would tell her means things, and get her to believe it was Taehyung said it. He did the same thing back, pitting the prince against the girl. He once let a spider loose in her hair when they went hunting. The list of his cruelty was endless.

Aera did not take it in stride, no. She gave it back tenfold.

She tripped him during his exams, causing him to fail. She placed snakes into his shoes, several times. She poisoned with an herb that made him sick and vomit during a royal celebration.

It was not the only reason why the Prince never liked her, but it was partially to blame. He loved Jimin so much, any slight against him was a blow to the prince.

Their schemes against each other met it's peak when they were thirteen. Blooming into teens, their pranks had only increased, as well as their competition for Taehyung's approval. Even though Aera knew she would lose, she still strived for it. She believed him to be the little boy that made her feel welcome.

She had made him a flower wreath which to hang on his door. A sign of protection, and a representation of the love she felt for him. Jimin saw her making it, and intercepted her on the way to the Prince's room. While he distracted her, he set flame to the wreath.

She had thrown the dying wreathe on the ground, stamping the ashes into the stone. She still remembered the look of glee in Jimin's dark eyes as she wailed and brushed away her dreams.

"You are the reason he hates me!" Aera screamed, "If he never loves me back, it will be your fault."

Jimin laughed, his head falling back, "Though I consider what you said to be a compliment, it is not true. You have tried for years to make him like you back, and quite honestly, I pity you. He is my best friend, and I know him well enough to know he will never want you. I-"

He had stopped talking then. Aera never did find out what he was going to say. Taehyung had been standing behind them, watching.

"I am tired of you both." Taehyung eyed her warily, and it made her feel like more of a fool, "You only fancy me because I am a prince." That was not true. Not then. He turned to Jimin, who already had his arms crossed with disinterest, "And you should know I do not like others making decisions for me. So just leave me alone."

There warfare did not stop in the absence of Taehyung between them. No, it only increased. And as the Prince avoided both of them, it only furthered their prejudice against one another.

So for that year, all their time was spent together. Torturing and teasing, but together.

They did not stop when Taehyung would roll his eyes and mutter that they were annoying. No, they only continued to throw food at each other in hopes one would get in trouble by an elder. Not when Lily would stand between them, crying as they attempted to whack each other with wooden training swords. They stopped at nothing to hurt one another.

Aera enjoyed it more than anything. Within that time, the castle went from a strange prison to a place that she knew like the back of her hand. She knew which stairwell she could wait at, and scare the living daylights out of the boy. She knew where the adults would hide their wine, and placed some in his cup before dinner so he would get in trouble. It was now her playground to be brutal, and oh how she succumbed to that powerful feeling of knowing what sent people over the edge.

They had built a raging bonfire. Neither ever grabbed for water. Only more wood to satiate the ever-growing flame.

But-

Aera swallowed, her hand finding her forehead. Checking to see if she was going to be sick again. Her stomach dipped, as she thought of the man on his knees below her. No longer a boy.

There had been a time that the burning between them felt like something other than hatred. They had withered away after her engagement to Taehyung was announced. She remembered it like it were yesterday.

They were fourteen, on the precipice of feeling older. Of learning power and duty. Their lessons changed from training to action. From wood to steal. From mathematics to politics.

In their forced closeness, sometimes they talked. Jimin had shared that he had been afraid of the dark. She never used it against him. She told him that she was lonely. And that when he played his pranks on her, it made her feel like she was not forgotten. He had smiled at her genuinely.

It was a cold day in the Winter.

She had been in the middle of an elaborate scheme. She was tying together strips of fabric, so she could use it to get to the boy's balcony. She planned on getting into his room and scaring him. After, she would annoy him until he talked with her.

He was the only one that tried anymore. Everyone else thought her too abrasive, too strange. And while he disliked her, he paid attention.

Her mother walked in interrupting her, tall and spindly. Hair darker than oil, with eyes like the sea. Wound too tight as always, and still elegant in a way Aera could only falsely mimic.

But her mother looked happy, and she was never happy. Not unless they were given more resources, land, or money.

"You are engaged to the Prince."

Her mother did not wait for an answer. She left Aera alone, holding onto the cloth that she had begun to tie together.

She should have been happy, it was all she ever wanted. To be accepted by her parents, who strived to prove their noble title, as it was not inherited. To be with the Prince, who never seemed to bother with her after he had begun to delve into history books. She could be with the boy she always loved.

But a strange thought entered her mind.

As a Queen, will I know longer be able to fight with Jimin?

She did her best to play the part. She was kind with the Prince, sending him her best and warmest smiles. He never knew what to do back, the returning expression pained. Disinterested. Her heart twinged every time. She stopped being foolish, and began to wear deep colors. She stopped putting ribbons into her hair. She ignored Jimin when he through paper at her during their next lesson.

He had not yet known. Aera ignored the boys whispering during their session, knowing a Queen should not care.

She ignored Jimin boring holes into her head.

Aera did her best to avoid him after their lesson.

But he refused to lose, always.

Her back had been pressed into the harsh stone of the main hallway. They were hidden by shadow, but she could see him well enough from the flickering candlelight above their heads.

His pink lips were parted, his cheeks flushed. He looked angry, and Aera could not figure out why. It made her body ache, her own anger flaring up inside her.

"This is what you wish?" His hand was pressed harshly into her shoulder, she could not move.

She swore his eyes flashed between her irises and her lips. But she had to have imagined it. She wanted to be honest with him, like they had started to do some late nights.

I am not responsible for this.

I am being used to make my parents more powerful.

Taehyung doesn't want me. And I don't want him.

"I am honored to be his future Queen." Aera told him instead. The truth was too painful, for she could not change it.

The boy looked at her, leaning closer. For a moment, a silly moment, she thought he might've been her first kiss. But no, he moved closer to her, and let his fangs lengthen into points. He was angry, so angry. More than he had been during their stupid pranks.

Her resolve strengthened as her cheeks flushed. She could not think about how much she wanted to close the distance between them. Because then he would not be Jimin. He would be just another boy that did not want her for anything.

"That is not what I asked. Do you want him?"

Her heart pounded furiously. Does it matter?

Jimin gave her no out. No way to part from the cage of his arms. He was starting at her with a strange expression, waiting for something she could not deliver.

Why does it matter?

He had been the one to tell her she could never be wanted. That she was pitiful. That no boy would like her back in the same way.

Aera swallowed harshly, her words tasting like dry wine, "I always have."

Not now.

But what would he think? What would he do, if she said she fancied him? Would he laugh in her face? Would he call her stupid for even thinking it?

It kept her mouth wired shut.

He had digested her words slowly. Then that raging light within him flared, his hands falling away from the sides of her head like she burnt him.

"You're good at lying." Jimin shook his head at her, disappointment making his voice thick, "It will be your ruination."

After that their torture was different, pulsing. It metamorphized with them, as they aged from teens into adulthood. Maturing from pulling hair, or confiding in one another when no one else was around into something dangerous. Even as she took her role as Taehyung's fiancé. Even when she pushed away all feelings for Jimin, in order to do her duty for her family. The inferno licked higher and higher.

He hated her after that fateful moment in the hallway. And he made her feel the same way about him.

But then he went too far, and Aera could not forgive him. After the massacre. When Taehyung declared their engagement null, and pledged his vow to marry the daughter of the moon.

Aera had been secretly relieved. Despite the inability to carry out her deceased parents wishes, she was free.

Until Jimin weaved his final scheme.

He had been the one to suggest her engagement with Garnett. She knew then that their hatred was not a barrier built to prevent their falling, but a true detestation. It had been his fault that she was forever tied with a person who forced her into a mating bond.

And so alas, she was traveling to a new world with the man who made it a mission to ruin her fucking life.

He would not be traveling back with her.

At least, not alive.

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(A/N: ARE YOU EXCITED? I am EXCITED!

Writing in Aera's voice (as I think you can all tell) is so fun for me. She's a grump, more so than any other MC I've written, and I resonate with that. There is just so much to learn and love about her and I cannot wait to show you guys!

And already the tension is already 🥵
You'll be fed well :) since I made y'all wait for an entire book for Jimin. And I know my Jimin girlies are thirsty atm hahaha.

Okay, I need help picking the cover, which do you think looks the best / fits the vibe?

I like all 3 for various reasons :((( so plz vote!!