Chapter 9

At sixteen, I stopped seeing the world through rose-colored glass.

At first, I thought that my life is a page ripped straight from a fairytale book. Born in a castle, royal parents, and prestigious friends. I was given the best education. Unlike other kids, I never have to worry about adult matters because my parents wanted to make sure I only worry about myself.

Which I failed so miserably.

"Anna..."

Halos hindi ako makatingin kay Blake. Mugto ang mga mata ko at tahimik akong humihikbi. I am soaking wet and ruining the upholstery of their expensive lounge chair but he didn't seem to mind it.

"What happened?" Kalmado ang boses niyang tanong sa akin, pero kitang-kita ko ang galit sa mga mata niya. The veins in his neck protruded, signaling anger and wrath. Parang gusto niyang balibagin ang couch na kinauupuan ko ngayon sa sobrang gigil. Even his eyes are screaming of murder.

Hindi ako makasagot kaagad. How am I going to explain to him that I just saw my father kissing his secretary just two days before my mother's birthday? The thought of it is breaking me already. Spewing it out of my mouth means I have to bleed myself dry.

Rinig ko ang mararahas na paghinga ni Blake habang patuloy akong tinititigan. I should be scared of him right now. When a guy is built like a beast with eyes of a villain, no sane girl should be drawn to someone like him.

But I'm so hurt right now that I don't even care if Blake turns out to be a serial killer. It doesn't matter anymore.

"Si Tito ba?" I could hear his teeth grinding in so much anger, so much restraint. Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa kamao niya. His knuckles are turning white. Blake Sobreval is a ticking bomb right now.

Marahan akong tumango. Red, hot anger flared up his strong pair of eyes, then it turned into slits and started burning the passion of wrath as I've never seen before. Nagpakawala siya ng isang malutong na mura.

"Savannah, anong nakita mo?"

My eyes are still wet from sobbing. I dropped my gaze to my trembling palms that I managed to place on my lap and bit my lower lip.

"Anna..." napapaos na wika ni Blake, tila nagsusumamo.

"Si P-Papa... at Valerie..."

Marahas na naglakbay ang maugat na mga kamay ni Blake sa basa at magulo niyang buhok. I even caught him pulling the last strands of his wet hair with little to no restraint before a series of profanities escaped from his mouth.

"Your father..." he breathed deeply and moved closer to me. Matigas na yakap ang natanggap ko mula sa kaniya. "I can't believe he hurt you."

Bumuhos muli ang mga luha ko. I feel like I'm going to collapse from too much crying. Ang init mula sa katawan ni Blake na naglakbay patungo sa maliit kong mga balikat ang tanging naging karamay ko sa mga oras na iyon. I wanted to be cold and dead at that moment. But Blake is here. And with this man, I know everything will be alright.

Nagpalipas ako ng ilang oras sa mansyon ng mga Sobreval. Ilang beses na akong inaya ni Blake na umuwi ngunit humindi ako. I still can't face my mother with a messy face like this. How am I supposed to tell her that the man who promised her the world is now breaking his vows?

Hindi ko ata kaya.

Dark roses are blooming inside of me as I started mourning for my life. I know it will never be the same again.

When I go home, I will no longer look at my father with the same love. I will be heartbroken for my mother. Valerie will be my greatest enemy. I'm sure I will be torn apart.

"Anna..."

Napatingin ako kay Blake. He's just as torn as I am. I know by now he lost the respect for my father he'd been looking up for years. Kitang-kita ito sa intensidad ng mga mata niya. Bumuo ito ng hukay sa dibdib ko, na para bang malamig na bangkay ng pagkasawi nalang ang kulang at pwede na akong maglaho. I hated seeing his eyes like that. Angry. Furious. But still dangerously beautiful.

Amidst my misery right now, I want to run the tip of my delicate fingers across the strong, proud lines of his cheekbones, down to his chin, and back to his temple. I want to know if the slightest touch from him can bring me peace, now that I am in chaos and my mind is in a war.

"Hindi niya pwedeng gawin sa iyo yun..." suminghap si Blake, dahilan upang maputol ang pagpapantasya kong mahawakan siya. I laughed bitterly at myself. he's in front of me yet he's still unreachable. "Walang pwedeng manakit sa iyo, Savannah. Not even your father..." sa paos na boses niyang wika.

Tuluyan nang nilisan ng pag-asa ang puso ko sa narinig kong tono ng boses niya. He said no one is allowed to hurt me, but my father still did it anyway. Dalawa na ang Anna sa buhay niya, hindi pa rin siya na-kontento. This just proves that I am unworthy of an unconditional love. A love that never fades.

Sino ba naman kasi ang gustong magmahal sa isang katulad ko? I can't even understand myself. I am unappreciated and easy to replace. Mother is a timeless elegant but she still got cheated. Paano nalang ako na hindi alam kung paano iaahon ang sarili sa hukay na ako mismo ang may gawa?

Hindi ako umimik. Silence embraced the two of us with a suffocating discomfort that doesn't seem to affect Blake. Ako lang yata ang balisa sa aming dalawa. But I don't even know the right words to say when I'm this hurt. And these are the few precious moments that I thank God for him because he knows I'm at a war inside of my head, and doesn't make me feel guilty for it.

"S-Sige, Blake... uwi na ako..." mahina kong imik.

"Hatid na kita."

Hindi na ako nakipagtalo pa. I wanted to walk alone on my way home to think. I needed some time to think. But it isn't possible. It's dark and it's raining and I'm only sixteen. I'm just as vulnerable when I was two and Blake is the only one that I know who can protect me at all costs.

"Here..."

Napaigtad ako nang bigla niyang ipinatong sa ulo ko ang malambot na hoodie. It smells of his expensive perfume, and I assume it was one of his many jackets. This is the first time he's lending one to me. Napatingin ako sa kaniya.

Blake stared at me, and looked uncomfortable for a moment before he averted his gaze away.

"Put on the hoodie, Anna. Your bra is showing."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa narinig. Kasabay nito ay ang pag-daloy ng dugo sa magkabila kong mga pisngi. I whimpered to myself and immediately turned around, horrified to see that the black lace of my bra is really showing because of my wet uniform. Gusto kong pagsasampalin ang sarili sa sobrang hiya. I was crying myself out like a kid with my bra showing.

Inayos ko ang sarili at isinuot ang jacket na ibinigay niya. The high-quality cotton made the jacket more comfortable to wear, and I know by the time I got home, I would smell of Blake.

The thought made my heart flutter.

"Come on, Anna..." he held out his hand gently to me. Nag-aalangan pa ako kung tatanggapin ko ang kamay niya o hindi. I am still embarrassed and he would know by the way my hand trembles. In the end, I accepted his large hand. It never failed to amaze me how, even with the rough edges, his hand felt so gentle when clasped with mine. He never has to say it, but I know these hands have the capacity of protecting the ones he loved the most.

When our skins connect, I watched how his eyes change. From the darkening of his orbs due to wrath, it softened into an affection that I never saw in him before. The way he looked at me that night made me feel, for once in my life, that I am special.

"Tara."

Hindi ko binitawan ang kamay niya at hindi rin siya bumitiw sa akin habang papalabas kami ng mansion nila. The heavy rain turned into a drizzle that brought cold air and damp streets. I asked him if we could walk, and he nodded. Hinigpitan niya lang ang hawak sa kamay ko. I don't have to explain to him that the 5-minute drive to our house will never be enough to ready myself to face my father. I let my phone vibrate on the pockets of my uniform skirt until the battery died.

Five minutes turned ten and it turned fifteen, until I could see the white big pillars of our mansion in the dark of the night. Bumagal ang paglalakad ko at bumilis ang tibok ng puso. I'm sure that my mother is worried sick about me. this is the first time I've gone home this late.

Habang papalapit kami sa gate ay mas lalo pang bumagal ang lakad ko hanggang sa tuluyan na akong huminto. I know some of the housekeepers are around. One knock at the gate and I will be answered. Tiningnan kong muli si Blake.

"Salamat sa paghatid sa akin."

Seryoso niya akong tiningnan. He sighed and then pulled me closer, which made my heart leap. I remained stiff and unmoving, as Blake crouched slightly to embrace me. His head lingered on my collar bones for a while, letting me feel his hot breath, before his lips brushed slightly at the hollow of my throat.

My entire body went to flames. I stood there like a pathetic girl who doesn't know the answer to an oral recitation and doesn't know how to respond. Humigpit lang ang hawak ko sa kaniyang kamay na hindi pa rin bumibitiw sa akin at napasinghap. I heard him sucking in a deep breath, too. Then he grunted and pulled away for a moment. I thought I could breathe but when he lifted his lips to the tip of my chin, I almost lost it.

"Call me later?" he asked in a raspy voice.

Like a hypnotized doll, I nodded without hesitation. I saw the satisfaction in his eyes, a fair hint of dominance, before it melted into concern again.

"Nandito lang ako, Anna. Hindi kita papabayaan. Don't hesitate to reach out for me, hmm?"

I nodded again, still at loss for words. Before taking a step back to grant me my personal space, he pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead.

"Pumasok ka na. Gabi na."

Hesitation took over me for a moment. I wanted to stretch the time and be with him, but I know it's not possible. In the end, I nodded and weakly waved my hand.

"Salamat, Blake..."

Hindi siya sumagot. But his intense, dark stares are enough of an answer. Napasinghap ulit ako at bahagyang nanginginig ang mga tuhod na inubos ang distansiya mula sa akin patungo sa gate. I pressed the buzzer and was immediately answered by Baste.

"Anna, kanina ka pa hinahanap ng Mama mo..." he trailed off when he saw Blake standing in the dark. Bahagyang nanlisik ang mga mata niya. "Kasama mo siya?"

"I'm tired, Baste." I murmured. "Gusto ko munang magpahinga. Ako na ang kakausap kay Mama."

Hindi na sumagot si Baste. Nanatili lang siyang nakatitig kay Blake. He nodded stiffly and opened the gate wider for me. Nilingon ko si Blake at nakitang nakatitig pa rin siya sa akin. The fog that the rain brought lingered around him, intensifying his already mysterious aura. Kasing dilim na ng gabi ang kulay ng mga mata niya. Pero wala na ang galit na nasaksikhan ko kanina.

We shared a connection briefly before Baste shut the gate close. Diretso ang tingin ko sa mansion at nagmamadaling pumasok.

The next two days were very painful. I have to sit and eat breakfast with my father and pretend that everything is fine. Hindi na siya makatingin nang diretso sa akin. I can see that my mother is getting worried. She kept on asking if I'm okay, and my heart keeps on breaking. Malapit na ang birthday ni Mama. I don't know if I'm able to keep up a straight face and pretend to enjoy after what I've discovered.

"Anna..."

I turned sharply to my father, who gently approached me with a gloomy look on his face. Bukas ay kaarawan na ni Mama. Unlike this year, we didn't plan together on what to give to my mother. I planned my own gift for my mother and succeeded in ignoring my father for two days.

"Can we talk, darling, please?"

Pagod kong nilingon si Papa. The despair in his eyes is making my steel heart melt. But I know once I give in to his façade, he'll be back to breaking my heart again.

"I promise I won't see Valerie anymore. Just don't tell your mother."

Pain rippled through me again. I thought adults are the kind to settle things right away, instead of running from it. Now my father, a successful business tycoon is asking me to conceal his mistake in cahoots. He's sinned and now he wanted me to be a sinner, too.

"You need to understand, I can't lose your mother, Anna..." he almost begged when I was about to turn around.

Namumula ang mga mata ko sa pinipigilang mga luha nang binalingan ko siya. With trembling lips, I spoke to him for the first time in two days.

"You just lost her, Papa."

I know my fairytale life is over the moment I walked out and went straight to the master's bedroom. Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. I know I shouldn't be breaking her heart a day before her birthday but I can't let her make herself a fool, thinking that my father really loved her. My father watched me helplessly, as he knows that I am going to tell my mother. Nang kumatok ako sa pinto ay mabigat ang loob kong tinitigan ang Mama na nagtataka ang mukhang pinagbuksan ako.

"What's wrong, Anna?" malumanay ang boses niyang wika sa akin.

"Mama..." tears welled in my eyes. How am I supposed to tell her? My father is just downstairs, watching me ruin our family. But if I don't do this, we'll be living the rest of our lives in a lie. Forgiveness is a concept that doesn't ring true to me at that time. I was so young and didn't understand how it works. All I know is that I'm angry, and someone has to pay for it.

"Mama, si Papa..." tuluyan na akong naiyak sa harapan niya. "Nakita ko po si P-Papa....tsaka si Valerie..." I choked on my own sobs, as I didn't know what to say next. Hindi ko yata kayang bitiwan ang ganung salita.

Mama stayed silent and watched me calmly. Pinilit ko ding kalmahin ang sarili ko.

"Mama... Papa is cheating on you!"

I was expecting her to be shocked, for the hurt to cross over her elegant face or even to get angry. Instead, her patient eyes remained calm. She gave me a sad half-smile and nodded.

"I know, Anna."

Gumuhit ang hapdi sa dibdib ko dahil sa sobrang gulat. She stood there, looking elegant as she was young, and still smiling even though she's hurting.

"Mama..."

"Matagal ko nang alam..."

"Anastasia, I can explain—"

She held up a delicate hand to my father who just appeared behind me. Nakatingin pa rin ako kay Mama. I just realized that she's in control of the situation right now. No matter how unbothered she look, she was poised and ready to battle with her patient spirits.

"There's no need to explain, Simone." She said in her usual gentle voice. I couldn't find any hint of anger or hurt in her voice. For some reason, it made her sound more dangerous. "I've talked to the attorney and arranged our annulment papers."

Pareho kaming natahimik ni Papa. Mama tightened the wrap of her silk robe and turned casually to my father.

"You signed a will when Savannah was born, that all the estate and the entire hacienda will be under her name when she turns 23. Walang mapupunta sa iyo, walang mapupunta sa akin, at wala ring mapupunta sa kerida mo. Kay Anna lahat."

"Wala na akong pakialam sa hacienda, Anastasia... Please..."

"Anna and I will be moving out of the mansion right after the party. You know me too well, Simone. I'm not one to spark a scandal. People will be asking questions if I don't show up to my own birthday party tomorrow. Some of your relatives are coming. My parents already know about it. Uuwi kami ni Anna sa kanila pagkatapos ng party."

A pang of guilt hit me when I saw how hurt my father is.

"Anastasia... you can't do this to me..."

"I can. Before I became a De la Rua, I am a Villafuerte. No one can step on me. I am going to protect Anna until she's 23, and we'll come back for the hacienda."

"So, this is all about it's going to be? Huh? Money!"

"It's not money we're talking about, Simone. It's about legacy. I helped to build the hacienda from the scratch. I'm just making sure that my daughter will get what she deserves. You are nothing without me, Simone. People will remember you for your elegant and intelligent wife. Now that you're without her, you will build your reputation from the scratch. Again."

"Valerie is just a mistake!" he exploded. Papa is panicking now and doesn't know what to do. He knows that my mother deliberates before making a decision, and when she's decided, it's final and irrevocable. "Can't we fix this?"

"I never let a man show me he doesn't want me, twice. So, the answer is no, Simone."

"Anna..."

My mother turned to me, put on an affectionate smile and patted my shoulder. "Thank you for being honest with me, darling. Put on your best dress tomorrow, okay? It'll be our last day here." Then she turned to my father with cold, frosty eyes. "I'm not sure if Valerie would still want to stay with you after knowing that she's not going to get even a single cent from you, but feel free to convince her."

Hindi na nakasagot pa si Papa. My mother, sensing that this conversation should be ended, smiled slowly again.

"Go to your room, Anna, and get some rest." Then she turned to my father. "Good night, Simone. See you at the party tomorrow." Anastasia Villafuerte De la Rua said casually before shutting the door close.