❝I would find you in any lifetime.❞

---

THE NEXT DAY

THE oil lamps casted faint light over the maps and maps which were spread over the gigantic table. The queen and the royal adviser stood over them, just soaking in the terrains as they stood in the silence of the map room.

"What do you plan on doing now?" Shree started, her voice still coarse from the day before, a flask of alcohol in her bandaged hand.

Akira stayed silent, not registering Shree's words as she poured over the routes and tracks but none of the information seemed to seep inside her mind; thoughts from days ago rushed through her system, intoxicating her and leaving her as nothing but a armor of nothingness.

"Akira?" Shree put a protective hand on the queen's shoulder, breaking her out of her trance.

"Yes?" Akira slowly muttered as she looked at her friend's concerned face.

"You alright?"

Akira nodded a unhurried yes and even though the other girl didn't fall for her words, she didn't push the sovereign too far.

"So," The Maharani started slowly, pressing her eyes shut as she tried to calm the hurricane of thoughts, "First of all, we send a letter to Aziza to see if everything is alright."

"Everything's alright." The monotonous voice of the commander came following the sound of opening gates, "Trust me, I would know."

"Azi?" Shree looked back to see the commander who stood at the gateway as sunshine poured inside the dimly lit room from the bright hallways.

Aziza looked beaten up and sleep-deprived. Hastily treated wounds littered her body and her hair was up in a make-shift up-do, a gash as long as an index finger's length ran from under her left eye, parallel to her nose. 

"You're alright!" Shree exclaimed as she flung her arms around Aziza – the flask falling to the ground with a loud clank and the contents of it pouring out on the floor – with tears streaming down her face. Akira just gave them both a – although genuine but half-hearted – smile as she stood with her back to the maps on the table.

"Yes, yes I'm alright Shree." Aziza smiled weakly as she broke apart from the girl and glanced at the queen. The commander gave Akira a small sympathetic smile and looked around, taking her time to change the topic. 

She looked from Shree to the ground where the flask lay, "Should you be drinking that right now?"

The curly-haired girl wiped her tears, laughing, "Says the girl who was waiting for God knows how long outside that door, waiting for the perfect dramatic entry."  

"Right, you caught me." The commander raised her hands in mock surrender, "You both look like... something." The commander nodded to her friends with a small smirk even though her eyes were deprived of any sort of happiness.

"Oh please," Shree wiped away her tears and played along, "you don't look like royalty either." The adviser nodded back to the commander.

The two girls smiled but anyone could see the pain that was bubbling under their superficial surfaces and this was just how long they could pretend as if nothing was wrong.

"So," Aziza gulped as she looked down at her hands, hesitantly muttering out, "Did anyone find out anything about Veer? Is he- uh, is he okay?"

Shree exchanged a small glance with the sovereign and looked back Aziza, "No..." She held Aziza's hands, doing her best not to break down again, "But I'm sure he's okay."

"Let's not make assumptions which might not be true," The queen breathed out and the pain was evident in her words even though she tried to cover it up with a cold demeanor, "I'm glad you are okay Aziza."

Aziza smiled back at the queen, her eyes holding waves and waves of guilt for Akira and the monarch assumed that she had received the news about her mother, "It's good to see you both alive too and..." The commander paused, ready to change the topic from the palace's siege, "Ekam nagar's fine too."

"The kingdom has been secured," The commander continued, "and Rajaram has given up total control to us since Rani Rukmini and the prince are still with us."

"That's amazing." Akira gave both the girls a smile even though no part of that news brought her any joy. If it was not for that war maybe things would still be okay.

"So..." The commander dragged out her words with a teasing smile, ready to lighten the unwanted tension, "where's 'lover boy', huh? I didn't see him while coming here and that's a big deal 'cause he is always loitering around and when I say always I mean alway-"

Shree's eyes widened as she made eye-contact with the commander, mouthing a quick 'Please shut up' and Aziza mouthed back a faint 'what?' while Akira simply turned away from the two girls and decided to focus on the maps ahead. 

The queen could hear the hushed whisper from Shree, telling Aziza that she will let her know all the details later. 

"He's finally been taken care of," Akira muttered, the wounds from yesterday prickling and burning at the mention of him, "You need not worry."

"Oh" Akira heard her commander say and she turned around, offering both of them a tired smile.

"You know what?" Akira muttered, looking at the two girls in front of her who looked almost ill, "I think you both should rest for some time. We can talk about what to do next in the evening.

The other two nodded their heads hesitantly and left Akira alone in the map room. A few 'take cares' were exchanged as they both left.

As soon as they left, for the first time since yesterday, Akira let herself get angry - angry at herself for letting everything descend into madness, angry for letting her worst nightmares come to life.

She picked up a soldier figurine which stood on the map and threw it at the wall ahead with all her might.

The earthen figure broke into a thousand shards as it smashed into the wall and poured down on the floor like drops of rain hitting the ground on a unexpected day.

'Stupid Akira,' The voice taunted, 'Breaking a earthen figure won't bring back all that you have lost.' 

"SHUT UP" The sovereign finally screeched out, balling her hands into fist and drawing blood from the half-healed cuts, "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP. I KNOW THAT."

"I know that. I know messed up," Her voice drowned down and turned into a whisper, her fingers tangling with her hair, "Maybe my mother was right. I can't rule this kingdom. I messed up. I will never be capable enough."

Never.  

---

Her feet carried her effortlessly to a destination her mind didn't know about yet and soon enough, she was there. Standing in front of those familiar doors, she silently stared ahead. 

'Why am I here again?' A part of her begged to know why her own mind was playing such cruel games on her, why it drew her to him even when he was not around, why drowning in him felt like such an easier option than letting the heat mark her body.

But the other part of her thanked her - thanked her for turning to only place that provided her some sense of security as of now, the only place that belonged to someone who filled the void inside her.

Torn between the two sides, she stood dumbfounded for a minute before finally opening the door and peaking inside the familiar stranger's room. Her eyes pleaded silently to see him there, to be in that dim room, reading books and muttering silly remarks but to no one's surprise – there was no one there.

She soundlessly closed the door as she walked in. The room was just the way she remembered from her previous visit – the curtains were halfway closed causing a bit of darkness to settle over the room, the sheets were tangled together and the ghost of the man who resided there still lingering somewhere around the room.

Absent-mindedly walking, she sat down on the bed, her mind processing nothing in the moment. It felt surreal to even mildly miss someone who she initially wanted dead.

The thought of her wanting Kartik dead at a point made her laugh and she laid back on the bed. Just as her head hit the mattress, she felt something under the sheets – something thin and crinkly.

Akira stood up, frantically looking under the jumbled sheets just to find a flimsy book - a book that she had given the Yuvraj. Her eyebrows scrunched together in sheer curiosity as she flipped through the familiar pages and suddenly, a small piece of paper fell down to the ground.

"What-" She muttered as she bowed down to pick up the thin scrap of paper. Her hands ran over the thin piece of paper without much thought and she saw that the thin piece of paper was marked with words. The writing itself looked as if it was done in a hurry.

The letter started with a number of cuts. – Dear Maharani – The word 'maharani' was cut over and replaced with – Dear Akira – The word 'dear' was further cut resulting in only one word as a salutation – Akira.

A ghost of what might be considered a smile infiltrated the sovereign's physiognomy as she read the letter.

"Akira,
By the time you read this letter, I probably would have left the castle. I know it's childish to leave a letter to you, a letter which you might not even read with everything going on. (If anyone other than Akira is reading this letter, please burn it and pretend you never found it for my sake. If you really are Akira then continue reading.)"

Despite the grim situation Akira silently smiled at his antics, muttering under her breath, "Yes it's me."

"I am not going to lie to you – not anymore atleast. I came here to end your reign, I will not deny it. I was told and taught that you were a monster come to life, someone who was so ruthless that she wouldn't hesitate to kill her beloved, someone who would sacrifice anything to keep her throne, someone who was incapable to ever rule a kingdom. They called you "The Ruthless ", pretty funny huh? I am sorry for that, I guess it's not the time to make jokes. What I guess I meant to say was that I was taught to hate you, to make sure you were dead by the time I left the castle-"

The writing continued on the back side and the sovereign hesitated to turn the page. The scary possibility that he actually thought of her as a monster haunted her but she flipped nonetheless, her curiosity taking the best of her and moving her fingers on their own accord.

"-but then I got to know the real you. The you which was concealed to the entire world, except me, I believe. The you who would shamelessly threaten to kill me all day long, the you who would hide behind plastic smiles and fake masks so that no one found out who you really were - just a girl burdened to be great at such a young age. The you who cared for others although it was deep-seated inside your heart, the you which made me smile like a lunatic even though I was supposed to hate you, the you I had grown quite fond of. I found out that you were just like me – someone with a stone-hard will but the wrong purpose, someone who was ultimately just looking for a home, a refuge, a safe space, whatever you might call it and I guess I found mine, in you."

She read the words aloud, "Someone just looking for a safe space... and you found yours in me?"  

"This page is too short for me to tell you everything I have ever wanted to tell you so I will quickly finish it with what I really wanted to say. I wanted to say that I am sorry Akira, I truly am. I never wanted to hurt you the way I did and I would never forgive myself for doing that, I am sorry and this time I am not joking or lying (something which I have done quite often since coming here). You are one of the most capable rulers I have ever seen, actually you know what? You are the only capable ruler I have ever met and if I could go back in time just one time – I will make sure that I tell you that... you mean a lot to me and..." 

"I mean a lot to you?" She read aloud again, still not believing the words. Adamant to believe that her eyes was playing tricks on her delusional self.

The next sentence had a line over it as if he was scared to write them but Akira could still read the words after enough squinting and pondering, 'I am helplessly, hopelessly, absolutely in love with you Maharani Akira Singh.' 

A look of confusion settled over her face as she blinked once, twice, thrice, a million times before her body started functioning again, "What? What did he write?" She shook her head, "He... loves me?" 

A smile overtook her features and she bit the insides of her cheek, trying not to spill out and turn into a puddle of nothingness. The hollow feeling that had created a nest in her chest was now replaced with a mixture of emotions - happiness, sadness and most importantly confusion.

Was she supposed to celebrate knowing that his heart started beating wildly whenever he looked at her smiling form just like hers did? Was she supposed to enjoy that she might have been the centre of his thoughts without him even knowing and that her smile could light up his dim days? Or was she supposed to feel mad or hopeless to rejoice over something that could never exist?

"Well," She finally found the courage to mutter, "you're not the only one who's helplessly, hopelessly and absolutely in love with someone."

She moved on, the curiosity allowing her to move past the sentence he had wrote,"I guess I am just stretching the letter on." She could feel the sigh that must have left his lips while writing that sentence.

"I guess this is the end of the letter Akira (I am running out of paper). I wish we could meet in another lifetime – a lifetime where we weren't supposed to kill each other - and we could finally say all the things we were so afraid to say this lifetime. Try not to die Maharani.

With much unsaid love,
The imposter."

The sovereign smiled to herself even though her heart ached. 

"I will try my best not to die, Kartik."

---

A/N - So turns out Kartik is... in love with Akira (Was that even a surprise to any of us?) but he's not here anymore, so, what's gonna happen now?
Stay tuned and find out.

Stay cruel (but don't hurt animals, that's just low) ♥️
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