Then

"Peek-a-boo."

Phoenix pulled his attention from the laptop screen and the contract he had been working on for the last hour. He looked from his makeshift workspace at the dining table in Chess' living room to the doorway, where Niall's head poked into view.

"You can come in. You're not disturbing me." Over the last month, Phoenix had found himself oddly at ease with the child, maybe because he acted nothing like the obnoxious kids he saw at supermarkets and on TV. Niall was sweet and considerate, and he helped Jace. For that alone, Phoenix would tolerate, if not like him for eternity.

Niall bounded into the room and around the table, looking expectantly at Phoenix until he scooted back the chair and lifted Niall onto his lap.

"Did you do your homework?"

"Yes. I did it while Jace napped before lunch." Niall smiled and grabbed one of the caramel bonbons Phoenix always had in a bowl by his computer. He carefully unwrapped it and stuffed it into Phoenix's mouth before he unwrapped one for himself.

That had become a ritual for them. The first time Niall had done it, Phoenix nearly bit his fingers off, since he did not like being fed like a toddler. But he soon realized that Niall only did it because he knew how to share and meant no harm, and he never did it before any major meal to spoil his appetite. Only as an afternoon treat or just before he left to go to Packard's place or stay with the night babysitter.

The whole 'Chess had a kid' deal had confused Phoenix at first, but it made sense. Everything he knew about Chess, his personality and behavior, only supported what Chess had told about Niall being sick, and how he had lived his life with the responsibilities of a father. His constant need for money, the hours he worked, and his absolute diligence in keeping his jobs and the income they brought. The pieces had fallen into place. Why Chess had given up on his education, why he had borrowed Phoenix's car at times, and that fierce determination to not let Packard swoop in and undermine the stability Chess had worked for to keep his independence. Lovers came and went. Fatherhood never stopped. Chess had not allowed Packard to lull him into a false sense of security if they broke up down the line. But now that they had officially committed with the collaring ceremony, and had moved in together, Chess could finally relax a little. Heavens knew the man deserved it.

Now he had Packard as daily support. And he had Phoenix, Brannon, and Eoin. Even Rami, and they barely knew each other. And when Jace had healed, he would have Jace too.

"How's Jace today?"

"He's sleeping again. I didn't disturb him. I colored in my coloring book on the floor. He didn't wake up." Niall chewed his caramel and swallowed, taking another. "He asked for Chinese food for dinner."

Nodding, Phoenix ruffled Niall's hair. "Thank you for telling me."

Though he hated that Jace still refused to talk with anyone but Niall, Phoenix understood the need for Jace's mind to heal. The safety of only communicating with a child who could not ask him questions about what had happened, Phoenix knew was a coping mechanism. He still missed hearing Jace's voice. Missed getting verbal responses to what he said. But over the last month, he had schooled himself every day, promising to give Jace the space he needed.

That did not stop him from talking enough for the both of them. Every night when they went to bed, he whispered soothing reassurances to Jace and told him to just take his time for as long as it took. He talked until Jace dozed off, and Phoenix hoped his words had an effect other than boring Jace to sleep. At least Jace had no issues with being touched anymore. He did not flinch and did not tremble all the time, but he did not respond, either. He said nothing and gave no indications of anything, though Niall said thanks for dinner and snacks and everything on Jace's behalf. They had developed a communication system through expressions, whispered words, and hand signals that Phoenix for the life of him could not understand.

Jace was not ungrateful or rude, he just did not have the mental capacity to communicate on an adult level, and Phoenix respected that, however hard it was. It worried him how much Jace slept. That was a sign of depression, and Phoenix feared Jace could sink in very deep if he did not open up soon. He believed the only connection to Jace's mind was Niall, otherwise, Jace would have been lost to them.

Depending on his morning meetings, Phoenix was usually up by six, and Jace still slept. He showered and made coffee, waiting for Niall to get dropped off at about eight, and they would wake up Jace together. After breakfast, Jace and Niall entertained each other while Phoenix worked, and Jace took a nap before lunch. That was when Niall did his schoolwork. After lunch, they played or whatever, and Phoenix either worked in the living room or went to meetings while Rami took over. Between four and five, Packard, Chess, or the babysitter picked up Niall, and Phoenix ate dinner with Jace, watched a movie, or listened to music before he put Jace to bed.

That was how his days went. Gerson came every other day to check on Jace, and though his bruises had healed, and he did not need Gerson in his doctor role, he still came by. Probably more for Phoenix's benefit than Jace's.

"Who's picking you up today?"

"Ackard. We're going to get ice cream." Niall held a finger to his mouth, grinning with mischief. "Don't tell dad."

"I won't." Phoenix chuckled. If there was one thing Phoenix had learned about Niall, it was how he loved little secrets. As he saw it, Niall felt important when people trusted him with innocent secrets, and he in return drew them into his adventures. Packard was such a pushover for that kid. Yes, he liked Niall, but Phoenix would never become the guy who gave in to anyone but Jace. But with him, all bets were off. Jace could ask for the moon, and Phoenix would find a way to give it to him. But a kid, wrapping him around their little finger? No way.

At least he had thought so, until...

"Want to watch Ninja Turtles with me?"

Phoenix looked at the boring contract on his computer, and then at the hopeful smile on Niall's face. Why not?

"Sure. You set it up, and I'll make some popcorn? We won't tell your dad that either, ok?"

"Popcorn and ice cream!" Niall clapped his hands excitedly, his violet eyes twinkled with absolute joy at another secret, and he hopped down from Phoenix's lap, storming to his room to get the DVD.

Not long after, Phoenix found himself laying on his side, pressed against the back of the couch with his head on one armrest and his feet on the opposite. Niall was curled up like a kitten in front of him, snuggled against his stomach as Jace would do, popcorn and sodas within reach for both of them. The cartoon version of Ninja Turtles played on the TV, and between handfuls of popcorn, Niall enthusiastically explained everything to Phoenix.

That was how Packard found them, two-and-a-half episodes later, when he came to pick up Niall.

"Is this how you spend all your days here?" Packard commented with a grin when he saw the two cuddled up on the couch. At first, he had to do a double take because he could easily have pictured Jace doing that, but not Phoenix. Still, there he was, softly caressing Niall's hair and patiently listening to the endless flow of commentary on a cartoon of all things. He could not wait to tell Chess. Usually, it was Chess who had all the juicy details, but this one was his.

"Ackard!" Niall turned his head and smiled widely, but made no notion of moving from his position in front of Phoenix. "Can we wait until it ends?"

"Sure thing, bud. I'll just help myself to some coffee."

"Bring a soda for me?" Phoenix asked, not looking up. He already knew it was rude, but he just did not want Packard to see how he enjoyed being there with Niall. As hard as it was to admit for him, and Phoenix rarely went that far into his own needs, but Niall gave him what Jace did not at the moment. Response. Niall was a surrogate for what he could not get, and his mind craved that small boost of energy to keep going.

He could not blame Jace for his condition, and he did not. How could he? No person should be blamed for their trauma or how that manifested. And Jace had his fair share of trauma to deal with. All Phoenix could do was love him and be there, accept him and support him on his journey back to mental stability. Phoenix gladly did it. It was not without cost for Phoenix, however.

Every day for a month, he had woken up next to Jace, and for a split second, just one tiny moment before reality took over, he thought all his dreams had come true. Each morning, the fantasy was different. They could be in the playroom at the club. In Phoenix's bed, in Jace's bed, or in some random hotel room. Sometimes he did not recognize the room, it just felt like home. The best fantasy, and the one that gave him the most grief as he held on to it in his mind, was the one where Jace had turned in the bed and smiled at him. The one where Jace's hair was grey, his eyes had deep laugh crinkles around them and the rest of his face seemed older. His smile was of one who had lived a long and fulfilling life.

Those brief moments of complete blissful fantasy did two things for Phoenix; they fueled him enough to handle when reality, and inevitably disappointment, hit, preparing him for another day of silence from Jace, and they cemented a conviction inside that he would help Jace get better, because Jace deserved his happy ending. With everything he had survived, Jace should grow old and grey with someone, and he should smile that smile every day. If not to him, then to somebody else.

"These are not half bad," Packard said and sat down with his coffee, munching on a cookie from the tin he had brought from the kitchen. He put the tin and soda for Phoenix on the table.

Niall grabbed a cookie too. "They're the best."

Phoenix nodded in agreement and stretched to take one, but Niall was way ahead of him and stuffed his cookie in Phoenix's mouth and took a new one for himself. They were excellent cookies, with exactly the right amount of crunch and sweetness. Just one part of the care package Natalya had sent to them via Gerson. Cakes, cookies, croissants, fresh bread, jams, cold cuts, stews, and ready-made meats with pre-cooked rice and mashed potatoes, salads and vegetables, sandwiches, fruit, and homemade lemonade. Only the best for her darling Jace.

Phoenix appreciated the goodies she sent them. Takeaway food was fine, and he opted for that often enough, but something home-cooked was divine at times, and a stocked fridge was nice to not worry about Niall and Jace's snack needs, though Eoin came every two-three days to take inventory, and then went shopping for them. Out of his own pocket every time, despite how Phoenix had tried to hand him money. Eoin's shopping and Natalya's care packages kept them well-fed, and Phoenix feared he would end up with a blubber gut from eating so much and not going to the gym as he used to. But Natalya surely would not let them starve or worry about non-essential issues like shopping and cooking. She had called him the second she heard about Jace. News like that traveled fast, and an attack on one of their own, Jace of all people, had everyone riled up, though they believed it was a random nightclub assault where others got hurt too.

At a meeting with Vasili, along with Cracker, Cellmate, Horse, and Rami, Phoenix had disclosed everything about Levi and what he was to Jace, in strict confidence, including the deal Phoenix had made with Levi to get him off Jace's back, though his and Jace's relationship he had not mention. In the day-to-day, he did not have any scruples with keeping their relationship a secret, but outright lying and withholding information that could help them, that he was not comfortable with. Still, Jace's privacy weighed more than his conscience.

Vasili had needed to know because the entire organization rested on him and Jace while Gareth was away. Cracker because he was an expert on everything security-related, and they needed him to stake out Jace's apartment and regular hangouts, looking for Levi or associates of his. Cellmate and Horse needed to know how urgent it was to find Levi and track him, to know where he was and monitor if he kept his end of the bargain. He was still a person of interest in the trafficking network they tried to infiltrate, and a possible connection to the guy with the dog boy, though they believed the brute had already sold the boy to a new owner or killed him.

Rami had been there because, well, he had refused to leave. Jace was his responsibility, and he had already failed him once. He was not about to do it again. Besides, Gareth trusted him with all his secrets, and no one could accuse him of not being loyal.

Together, they had decided to let people know there had been some controversy at a nightclub, and Jace had been caught in the crossfire of that. Because of his injuries, Jace was on medical leave, and people were asked not to disturb him. Natalya, of course, gave no shits and just sent her care packages to Jace with Gerson. They had also agreed that with the Levi threat, keeping Jace safe and hidden was a priority, and that was why Phoenix and Jace lived at Chess' apartment rather than the mansion or at their homes. So far, none had questioned why Phoenix was the one to stay with Jace. It seemed the logical choice, as Phoenix was the head of Gareth's businesses and had worked with Jace when Vasili was in the field.

Phoenix looked at Packard, still half-heartedly listening to Niall's action commentary. He did not know what he had done to deserve people like that in his life, but he valued everything Packard, Chess, Brannon, and Eoin did to help. Even Tana, that crazy spitfire of weirdness, he appreciated because she had helped with getting things from Jace's apartment for them. And she had respected that Jace was not ready for visitors, though she called enough times to hear if there were news.

Packard sat for a moment, enjoying his coffee and cookies. He occasionally glanced at Phoenix because the man seemed very out of character that day. It was like the Phoenix he knew disappeared before his eyes with each passing day. "Are you ok?"

"Just tired. I don't sleep well because I worry about Jace. I'm afraid I won't be awake if he needs me."

"You can sleep when I'm here," Niall offered in a sweet voice and snuggled into Phoenix, holding another cookie in his hand. "I can wake you if he needs help."

Phoenix ruffled Niall's hair. "I think we might try that tomorrow." Strangely, Phoenix felt no reservations about Niall and his suggestion. The boy was responsible and would call him at the smallest if Jace needed him, and so far, he had proved he was capable. "But now, it's time for you and Packard to get some ice cream, and I need to finish my work."

"Yep." Packard stood up and waited for Niall to reluctantly move away from Phoenix. The boy turned and spontaneously hugged his new friend.

"Thank you for the popcorn."

"Thank you for keeping me company," Phoenix replied and accepted the hug. Yet another need Niall fulfilled by being a sweet kid. Short, awkward bro-hugs and sympathetic pats on the back only did as much. The emotional gratification from something that most took for granted, Phoenix needed more than he had ever known.

After they left, Phoenix turned off the TV and cleaned up. He went to check on Jace, who still slept soundly. The bedroom smelled stuffy, and he reminded himself to crack a window when Jace woke up and he got him to the living room. Aside from Niall's coloring book and crayons, neatly put on the floor against the wall, everything was as he had left it that morning.

He stood for a moment and admired Jace's hair. How it fell over his face, and though it obstructed his view a little, it only made Jace look cuter. Phoenix's fingers itched to reach out and smooth over the hair, just to feel it for a moment. But he did not want to wake Jace yet. There was still some work to do, and if he got it done, then he could relax and devote his evening to Jace.

With a sigh, he tiptoed out of the room and left the door ajar. He went back to work on the contract, and since it was in Russian for a Russian-based company of Gareth's, he needed to stay very focused to word everything correctly. His general Russian was fine after that many years with Gareth, but the written still sucked. It being corporate Russian, with legal clauses he could not afford to get wrong, only made it more difficult.

The contract came along nicely, but Phoenix needed to give it a run-through with fresh eyes after a good night's rest before he sent it to Gareth's legal department for a legality check. That was it for his work that day. No meetings, no loose ends, nothing he could do to occupy his mind, and that was when his thoughts wandered to dark and uncontrollable places.

He needed to do something, to take action to help Jace. Sitting idly was against his nature. Phoenix was a fixer, not a wait for things to sort themselves, and when he found himself in a situation, he could not fix through his logical and analytical approach, then his mind spun into craziness. A deep dive into waters he could not swim.

Sighing deeply, he shut down his laptop and emptied his cup of the now bitter and cold coffee. He was used to the taste, but would never learn to like coffee any other way than warm. Still, with his work schedule, and Gareth's ability to throw new shit at him at the drop of a hat, cold coffee was an occupational hazard. In the times without Gareth, where Phoenix had to do his own work, Gareth's work, and pick up the slack from Jace being out of commission, the cold coffee was more of a rule than an exception.

It was too early to order food, and his need for TV, Niall had taken care of. He really had nothing to do until he needed to wake Jace for dinner. Maybe a hot shower? Phoenix wondered if he should fire up his personal laptop and give one of the online games he had there a go. He had car games, tactical adventures, riddle-solving games, and shooting ones. The one he preferred was World of Warcraft. It was a perfect combination for his specific mindset. He could immerse himself in the monotonous farming of materials in the game, he could do quests where his goal was laid out to him, and he could work to achieve that and feel fulfillment when accomplished, or he could go battle a boss in a raid and get his aggressions out. The best of it was, most he did not need to interact with others to do, farming and creating trade items he found fun because he liked the auction house function, where he could sell his goods and analyze supply and demand. It was risk-free gambling with non-existent goods, not like when he played the stock market or bought real estate where the money was real. And learning about the different classes and their abilities was fascinating to him. He preferred to play Paladin, the perfect combination of death and destruction, with solid armor and abilities, and a healer.

Thinking about it, he wondered why so many blamed games like that for creating violent people. To him, it did the opposite. It was a release valve, and though he did not use that function, it had a social aspect with the guilds and in-game chat. People learned social skills and teamwork through the game, and the violent aspects gave him a cathartic feeling. In his optic, those kinds of games prevented real-life violence rather than inciting it. Kick an orc in the nuts instead of kicking your boss. That was a win in his book.

Games did not create killers. Heavy metal music did not create Satanists. Every priest was not a child molester. Every politician was not by default dishonest. People should not blame a product or group with the same interests for a few bad seeds. It was wrong to throw blame around like that, though Phoenix understood it was easier when there was a 'bad guy' to pin everything on.

That was human nature. Blaming unspeakable acts, horrors of the world, and anything that brought people as individuals out of their comfort zone, was a natural reflex to protect morals and sanity. But it was wrong. People should not point fingers at the wrong things to justify a malfunction in one person. Exactly like Phoenix could not blame the BDSM community for what Levi had done to Jace. That was entirely on Levi. The community was just a place to look for prey and hide behind acceptable sexual urges until the more toxic ones could come into play.

Phoenix picked up his phone and looked at the time again. Whoop. He had spent almost five minutes ranting in his head about games. It was still too early to wake Jace. Before he could talk himself out of it, he clicked the well-known number in his favorites and waited.

"Hi, Sweetheart."

"Mum..."

"Is something wrong?" Cloud's voice instantly went from happy with a call from her son to worried mother mode.

"I'm just..." Phoenix sighed, not really knowing why he had called his parents. They were usually his safe space. The people he called when he needed some structure to his tumultuous emotions. But they had talked about three times a week since the incident, and as much as they wanted to help, and Phoenix needed it, they could do very little.

"I know," Cloud reassured. "Hang on a sec. Indigo! Phennie's on the phone!"

Cloud's bellow scratched through the speaker and hurt Phoenix's ear. He pulled it away and looked at the offending device, since he could not give his mother a sharp look for yelling.

"I'll put it on speaker," Cloud said, and after a second of fumbling about, Indigo's out-of-breath voice sounded.

"Son, are you ok?"

"Dad. I just needed to talk a bit. Jace is asleep now, and my mind's going crazy." Phoenix put his phone down and clicked it on speaker as well.

"Is Jace ok?"

"As ok as he can be. He's still in that non-responsive state. I don't know how much longer I can hang on."

"Don't say that," Cloud snapped. "You're stronger than this. He's too weak to battle on his own. He needs you."

"Hush, darling. He knows that. You're not helping." Indigo's calm voice had the desired effect, and a kiss sounded through the speaker. "Is there any news on that man?"

"Nothing yet. Horse is tracking him the best he can. So far, we have footage of him leaving Ireland and returning to Luxembourg. He keeps mainly off the grid like before when we could barely track him. But there are a few credit card charges here and there and some travel activity to other countries. But everything checks out. He's not tried to get back here."

"That's good, right?"

Phoenix rubbed his face. Yes, it was good. But it did not put his mind at ease. Levi could be a man of his word and honor the agreement they had made, but he could just as easily lie low for a while before he made his move. Deep down, Phoenix hoped Levi would leave Jace alone and move on. Still, his gut told him otherwise.

"I guess. I'm not really sure. Maybe he can be trusted. I got the distinct feeling that the man actually cares for Jace in his own twisted way. Then again, he also struck me as a person who does not take rejection well."

"You can't worry ahead. I know we all do it. Your mother and I worry about you all the time, and it doesn't help one bit. Playing 'what if' will only cause you grief."

His father was a smart man, and Phoenix knew he was right. That did not make it any easier. Every moment of every day, Phoenix questioned himself and wondered if he had done the right thing in letting Levi go. If he still did right by Jace now. He feared he could not nurse Jace back to health at all, and even more, he feared he could not protect Jace in the future.

"I'm not sure if I'm doing anything right," Phoenix admitted with defeat. He was not good at action and no results. The results he used to measure his success rate, and with Jace, he had no success to evaluate. "I think he needs Gareth. Gareth would have gotten through to him in ways I cannot."

"Maybe. But that's another 'what if'." Cloud took over where her husband had left off. "What if Gareth was there to fix everything? You can't do that to yourself. You're there, you've been there, and that holds meaning too."

Leaning forward to rest his head in his hands, Phoenix tried to breathe calmly. He could wait. It was never a question of his commitment to the time it took. Everything was in if what he did helped or not.

"I'm just afraid he'll get mad about some decisions I made for him. He put his life in my hands, and I hope I've lived up to that trust. But he has the right to disagree and even get mad at me." Phoenix drew in a hard breath, closing his eyes as a potential reality he could not escape, entered his mind. Well, it had been there for a while, but he had pushed it back every time until now. "What if I lose him? I wouldn't know what to do without him as my sub, that'll be hard enough. But the friendship..."

"Phennie..."

"Mum, I'm afraid that I'm not what he needs. That I'm not good enough. I'm not Gareth, and I don't understand Jace the way he does."

A short pause followed, and Phoenix knew his parents silently discussed who should take the lead on that pile of shit. In a turn of events Phoenix had not expected, his father drew the short straw.

"Phoenix, there are different kinds of friendships. And different levels of understanding within them. Like that biscuit guy..."

"Cracker?" Phoenix chuckled, enjoying that feeling of letting his mind focus on something that stupid in the midst of his crisis.

"Yes, that one," Indigo said and continued, "The friendship you have with him differs from the one you share with Gareth, right?"

"I suppose so." Phoenix was not really sure where his father's friendship lesson would go, but he would hear him out.

"Let's just assume that. Does that make Craxter any less of a friend than Gareth?"

Phoenix sighed. How hard was it to remember a name like Cracker? "No, it doesn't."

"It's the same for Jace, I'm sure. His friendship with Gareth is deep and spans many years. You can't and shouldn't feel the need to compete with that." Indigo made a dramatic pause that annoyed the hell out of Phoenix because he wanted to know more. "I can't pretend to understand what you and Jace do sexually. But from what the internet and you have explained, it demands a top level of trust between people, and that doesn't just come out of nowhere. The way you understand Jace differs from Gareth, but it doesn't make the friendship any less important."

Shrugging though his father could not see it, Phoenix acknowledged the need for trust between a Dom and a sub with a gruff sound.

"You've been together with Jace for over four years now. And though the relationship is different from what your mother and I share, the commitment and trust are the same. Jace has trusted you with his body and mind. He's trusted you with his life story and traumas because he believes you're worthy of that. And now with that safe speak thing."

"Safeword, dad."

"Safeword, yes. I can't speak for Jace, and I can't promise you everything will be ok. But he put his entire existence in your hands because out of everyone, Gareth included, you're the one he trusts to take care of him."

"I was there. He didn't have many options." A spark inside Phoenix wanted to believe his father. Wanted to accept and embrace that feeling of worth and belief in the connection he had with Jace. Like a lighter, trying to ignite into a flame, the spark flickered over and over. It just needed a little more fuel to catch on.

"He had plenty. There were security people, and that Packard guy, isn't he the owner and outranks even you? Jace had options, but he chose you. And even in the time after, he could have asked the kid to ask for Gareth or any other he calls friend, still, he stays with you because you make him feel safe."

Chuckling humorlessly, Phoenix appreciated his father's words. "I feel so helpless."

"Imagine how Jace feels."

And that shut Phoenix up.

That was the right perspective and the kick in the ass he had needed. To realize how much worse Jace might feel compared to himself. Yes, Phoenix felt helpless, but how helpless did Jace feel? Trapped in his mind, worried and afraid.

"I fear I'm not enough. That what I am and what I can offer him just won't be enough to bring him back."

"Give it time, son. You've spent years building something with Jace. You can't let a month of setbacks ruin your confidence."

Phoenix's father fell silent, and there really was not more to say. Phoenix ended the call with a few of their usual pleasantries. The call might not have solved anything for him, but he felt a little calmer. That feeling of not being alone with his problems helped a lot. Sometimes all he needed from his parents were listening ears and a chance to turn his issues with someone who understood how his mind worked. For a man in his thirties, he depended a lot on his parents. Not that he cared if it was pathetic. In his mind, many would be lucky to have parents as wonderful as his.

Tired, Phoenix let his head fall forward and planted his forehead on the table with a thud, groaning a little at the stupidity in that. The pain he did not feel, physical pain was never an issue for him, but the idea of sporting a bruise from a low-key battle with a table, he did not find amusing. He rested against the cool surface, not sure what to do.

"You're wrong."

Phoenix's head flew up at the scratchy words. In the doorway, Jace stood in his sweatpants and t-shirt, looking tired, but he was there. His blue eyes held life, and they were focused on him for once. The vacant look Phoenix was so used to was not there anymore.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"You're wrong," Jace repeated, that time his voice had a little more power.

Rushing from his seat and around the table, Phoenix stood in front of Jace within seconds. His muscles tense from holding back, and his breathing labored. All he wanted was to touch Jace. Feel him under his fingers, the softness and warmth. He wanted to feel the life in Jace and know he was there. Phoenix was not delusional enough to think Jace was ok, but it was a step in the right direction, and that was something.

"About what, Baby?"

Jace did not answer. He just stood and looked at his gentle giant. The worry lines on his handsome face showed, and they cast a dark shadow on what he had put Phoenix through the last month. He noticed how Phoenix blinked rapidly to stop that unmistakable mistiness Jace had not expected to see there.

He did not know what to say. How could he put into words the gratitude he felt? How could he make up for everything Phoenix had done and still did? Words were not enough, and actions might not be either. The one thing Jace knew was he missed feeling close to Phoenix. Safety and sanity were in Phoenix's arms. Calmness in his breathing and the regular beats of his heart. Attention in the way his eyes never left Jace's face, and the road back to life lay in his touches.

The touches Jace needed most of all. That overwhelming need to know Phoenix still wanted him. Even if he had said it enough times, and even ranted to his parents, it was not enough. Jace needed his Dom to find his way back and rid himself of the weakness in him. That unyielding poison of failure coursed through him with its deadly power, making him feel pathetic.

Slowly, to not startle himself or Phoenix, Jace was not sure, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Phoenix's broad and familiar torso. His hands found the dip in Phoenix's back, and his head leaned where he knew Phoenix's heart was. The thumps reached him in vibrations through the wall-like chest, and Phoenix's cologne wafted around him, blanketing him in everything he remembered as happiness. Jace waited while Phoenix held his breath and did nothing, then finally Phoenix blew out his breath, and those protective arms locked around him.

A steel trap of muscles. The only trap Jace ever wanted to get caught in, because those arms felt like shackles of love.

"I've missed you so much, Baby boy," Phoenix whispered into Jace's hair, still a little unsure if he would wake soon and find that he had just hit his head on the table, and it was all a dream. "Do you need anything? I could order food? Or we could take a shower? Whatever you want, just don't... Just don't leave me again."

The last words came out as nothing but a low breath.

Jace listened intensely to hear what Phoenix wanted him to just not, but the words were too low for him to understand. It did not matter. Jace knew what he wanted, and it was something completely different.

Phoenix snapped for breath when Jace's hands awkwardly massaged down his back until they cupped his ass in the sweetest gesture of acceptance. Jace still wanted him, not only as his protector, but as a man and his Dom. He debated if it was a good idea to go from zero to two hundred in half a second, even if he wanted to plow into Jace like there was no tomorrow. Jace had not released him from the Supernova care, and he still had to make decisions on what was best for Jace. Then again, he also had to respect Jace's wishes and believe Jace knew what he wanted for himself.

"I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but I asked you what you wanted, and if this is it, then I'll do it. I'll stop instantly, if I feel something's off. Your body can't lie to me." Phoenix's hands moved around on Jace's back. One held Jace locked against his chest and the other found Jace's ass and smacked it once. In response, Jace shook in his grip. "Every tremble and shudder. Each twitch of your cock, and the different moans and groans you make tell me a story. They reveal everything about you and let me know if you're with me. If your body says no, I'll stop. Deal?"

Jace nodded against Phoenix's chest, and instinctively Phoenix let a hand slip into Jace's hair, pulling gently on it to force Jace's head back. He stared into Jace's already dazed gaze. "Words."

"Yes, Sir."

"Good boy." Phoenix smiled and his smile widened when a tiny moan escaped Jace's parted lips. "I need consent. Do you still recognize me as your Dom? Do you restore the privileges you've given me before?"

"Of course I do, Phoenix. You never lost those privileges. I only gave you more."

That was all Phoenix needed to let go of his reservations. He was still Jace's Dom, and his sub needed him.

Hi dear Wattlings.

Thank you for reading. 

And Jace is back. Are you happy? Phoenix sure needed his Baby boy back, let's hope he can help Jace find himself again. How do we like Niall? Takes quite the tiny wizard to get Phoenix to watch Ninja Turtles.

We're getting close to when shit hits the fan in the past, and even closer to the wedding in the present. Stay tuned for more from the boys.

If you like it, then pop a vote and please leave comments. The comments are important for me to know how the story is progressing and the characters are developing. And I'd love to know what you think and interact with y'all.

Give me a follow too for updates on other work and put this book in your library. I'd appreciate that.

Love, Alix

Published: October 24th, 2022. ©Alix Davenport, Copenhagen