Then

The warm breeze made the curtains lift and fall like a ghostly dancer, twirling to the symphony of summer outside the windows. Different birds chirped and sang their multitude of tunes, like nature's own choir, the buzzing of bees, flies, ladybugs, and other insects created the vibrational hum of a string section, and the soft ruffling of the leaves in the wind served as a subtle percussion to bind it all together.

Beautiful and calming at first, but slowly it had turned monotone.

Jace looked around the ensuite rooms; they had everything. It was a bachelor and man-child dream playground. Gareth had offered him every luxury. Soft, royal blue carpets on parquet floors, comfy couches in a dove-grey fabric. Office space with brand new tech, dining area for his guests, and an entertainment center to end all entertainment centers. It had a massive flat-screen TV, X-box, PlayStation, DVD and Blu-Ray player, and a bookcase filled with movies and games to choose from.

It was every guy's wish for a man cave, except for the lacking pool table and karaoke system. A direct line went to the kitchen where he could act like the king of room service.

The luxury was not unappreciated.

But a gilded cage was still a cage.

Leaving the enormous king-sized bed where he had rested and read a magazine, Jace put out his cigarette, tossed the magazine, and went to pour himself a cup of coffee. The bed was wonderful, and it was big enough for both him and Phoenix, if that had been a possibility at the mansion. The around-the-clock protection team outside his door effectively put a stop to any nightly visits. And even Phoenix was not adventurous enough to climb up the house and do a balcony entrance for a booty call.

Swirling the dark liquid in the cup, because he was bored out of his skull, he stared at the whirlpool and waited for something to happen.

Anything.

He would gladly settle for anything from an earthquake to an ice cream truck barging through the wall. It could be something smaller, a phone call from Chess or one of the guys logging on to play a game with him. He was willing to go magical, if possible. Like a chocolate goldfish appearing in his coffee, or a troupe of leprechauns dancing Riverdance on the parquet floor to disturb everybody, that would be a hoot. He was not picky about it.

Just fucking something.

"Jaaaaacey-booooy!"

Ok, anything but that...

The sound carried from the corridor outside the room, and just a few moments later, Jace nearly dropped his cup from the door, slamming open and almost going off its hinges in the process. He put the cup down because he would wear his coffee not long after if he had not foreseen what was about to happen.

Tana whirled in, dressed in something-or-other that looked like a tunic and MC Hammer pants in colors that Jace believed were the colors sent to the corner by regular colors for being offensive. Her once brown curls looked newly dyed at the tips in turquoise. They had not been the last time Jace had seen her.

Admittedly, that was a while ago, with everything that had happened.

Bubbling with her usual joy, Tana bounded toward him and jumped up at him like that first popcorn popping in a pot. He knew it would come and still, it came as a surprise.

"Jacey!"

"What are you doing here, you crazy girl?" Jace grabbed her in time to slow the impact, and she weighed next to nothing, making it easy for him to turn the tackle attempt into a hug. He was happy he had put the cup down; some people were too predictable.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jace saw Yurij reach in to grab the handle of the door. He winked and made a kissy mouth suggestively just before he closed it. Yeah, that idiot would think Gareth had granted a few hours of horizontal entertainment and would probably stay outside the door and listen under the pretense of guarding it.

The pervert!

Tana, of course, noticed nothing. She was busy hugging the life out of him. Though she was seconds from strangling him, it felt amazing. Her arms around his neck reminded him of how much he had missed human interaction that was not work-related or with the same ten men who had tried to keep him company.

By company, he meant babysat. There were no other words to accurately describe the number of guys who had found summer of all seasons the best time for indoor activities. They had all done what they could to entertain him and let him know they were there for him, and for that he loved them, but he did not need babysitters.

He needed the freedom to do something himself. Outside the fucking mansion.

Tana beamed a smile at Jace and then pouted at being put down after just one hug. "Visiting my bestie. What does it look like?"

"But how?" Jace asked in wonder and scratched his head. Gareth had stubbornly not allowed visitors, and Jace had not been allowed to leave the mansion either. He only left his rooms for work meetings, and those were rare, and he got escorted by at least four men every time.

He knew Gareth was worried, and Jace appreciated G-man's dedication to his safety, but a four-man team to protect him inside the fortress that Gareth deemed safe for himself was a bit much. The most dangerous they could protect him from in the house was the floor, if he tripped over his own feet from not caring about where he stepped, or if he keeled over from boredom.

"I nagged that stiff you call a boss enough for him to let me in, of course," Tana answered with a smug face, like it had been a breeze getting to Gareth and convincing him to allow her to visit.

"You talked to Gareth?"

"Yeah, he's even worse than I remember. That stick up his lily-white, snooty arse must have sprouted roots, because it's grown to the size of a giant Sequoia by now."

Jace tried to choke down the need to chuckle, which he managed with some difficulty, but lost to the explosive laugh that pushed its way through when Tana continued.

"I bet he shits newly cut logs and wood chips just to make room for that tree to grow." Tana had no shame in dishing out her opinion on Gareth. Those two would never be friends. "Maybe that's why he's so rich, because he supplies most of the country with firewood."

Drying his eyes, still hiccupping with laughter, Jace staggered to the couch and fell down to relax his stomach muscles. Tana was a gift of pure joy. She said things as she saw them, and her observations were rarely off, though her filter to sift out the rudest comments had been out of order since before he met her. A visit from her was what he had needed, and Gareth most likely knew that. Not to mention, Gareth had probably weighed his options of letting her visit or killing her for nagging him and gone with the less violent choice.

"How did you get through to him? I've been unable to make him budge, and it's my fucking life."

"I'm persistent," Tana said with a self-pleased smile. She flung herself on the other couch with the grace of a cement truck, putting her feet up without removing her shoes. "And I have selective hearing. He had no chance against me."

Jace raised an eyebrow and smirked. "So, you admit you have selective hearing?"

"What?" Blinking her doe eyes at Jace like the innocent girl she tried to be, Tana lay there and studied the rooms, proving that selective hearing was indeed a skill of hers. "Nice digs. Lumber-snack treats his friends well."

"Snack?"

"Jacey, I might be the world's best pearl diver and worship the mountains of Sheeba, but even I can see what a masterpiece your boss is." She tapped her chin and looked contemplating for a moment. "Maybe he should utilize that pole up his bum and create a good, hard woodie. I think your homeboy needs to get laid. I never met a more uptight person."

Tana laughed at herself, and the wood jokes she shook out of her multi-colored sleeves. "Well, except for your tall, hunky lover. Now that dude is uptight, like an upper-class prude at a swinger party."

Jace grumbled with warning and shot Tana a furious glare. "Keep your voice down. I told you in confidence because you're my friend, but I don't want people here to nose into my business, or his."

Sometimes, he regretted having told Tana, but Phoenix had assured him it was ok, and that secrets between friends rarely led to anything good. And since Tana enjoyed coming to Decadence to shop for hot women, she had proved to Phoenix she was not judgmental about Jace's sexuality. That had probably been the winning factor for Phoenix. Besides, it was nice to have somebody he could talk to outside the club, and in the same person somebody he could invite into the private club on a guest pass for the events.

"And I told you, if you can't say anything nice about Phoenix, you keep your mouth shut. I don't want to hear it."

Instantly, Tana looked down and fidgeted uncomfortably. "I know, sorry. How is he?"

Jace sighed and shook his head, making a grimace of helplessness. He ran his fingers through his hair, something he had caught himself doing a lot more than usual, because Phoenix used to do it, and it comforted him to feel it. "I wouldn't know. I've barely seen him since I got locked up like princess Fiona with a fucking dragon guarding my ass at all times."

Tana giggled at the princess comment, undoubtedly, whereas Jace smiled at the dragon part of that inside joke.

"I'd probably not let Phoenix in on him having to play Shrek in that scenario, if I were you," Tana commented with glee, her entire face twisted into one of mischief, like she truly wanted to tell Phoenix and watch the sky fall.

Nodding, Jace could only agree with her statement.

"But you've seen him, right?"

"Sure, at meetings, and we've talked occasionally. But we've not been alone since he dropped me off here like a FedEx delivery, and the warden has him working around the clock to find Levi."

"Jace," Tana said and smiled with a motherly charm she rarely displayed. "I don't think it's Wood Boy who makes Phoenix work that much. I've talked with Packard and Chess. They say that Phoenix works himself to the bone to find that fucker to keep you safe."

Jace let himself slump back into the couch's softness, imagining it was Phoenix holding him. Wishing for just the smallest of touches to feel connected to him. The saying 'out of sight, out of mind' was not true, at least not for him. Phoenix was on his mind constantly. When he ate, he thought about the dinners they had shared, the snacks he was fed by his Dom during aftercare, the favorite dishes Natalya brought from the kitchen without Jace having ordered them, and how Phoenix had been by his side after his panic attack, to gently help him find the motivation to eat and not get lost in his fear.

Those first days after the panic attack had been brutal, and had tested Jace to the limit, but Phoenix had been there every step of the way. Holding him, comforting him, making sure he ate and drank, taking care of his hygiene needs, and he had acted like the fiercest lion, protecting his mate. Pacing, roaring, and anticipating every scenario to avoid getting caught.

If Levi had followed them from Sweden, neither of them knew for sure. They had stayed at Mr. and Mrs. Johanson's house outside of Malmö, or Alfred and Marlin, as they had gotten to know them as. They were the ones who had helped them at the airport, though Jace remembered nothing with any clarity. Everything was a fuzzy blur, a sentence here and there, images, smells, and sounds.

Nothing coherent.

He remembered Phoenix arguing very heatedly with the medical personnel at the hospital they had gone to after the airport medics had deemed it safe to move him. Alfred and Marlin had helped Phoenix get to the hospital because the paramedics had refused him permission to ride in the ambulance, and at the hospital, Phoenix had raised hell when they had tried to keep him away from Jace. Even from his bed, with Phoenix outside Jace's room, his voice had carried to the entire floor. Cursing, without his usual calm, Phoenix had argued that he was Jace's boyfriend, executor of his will, and that they had been together for almost four years. If that did not qualify him as next of kin, nothing would.

Phoenix had apologized over and over for using what he called 'the boyfriend card', but it had been his only option. Butterflies had fluttered wildly inside Jace because even if Phoenix had used it as a ruse, hearing that word from his lips had done more for his recovery than anything else.

"Don't mistake me, I know he works hard for me. I just wish he would take a few hours to come visit. I miss him. It's hard to be apart when I'm so in lo..." Jace shut his mouth so fast his teeth clattered together. Desperately, he looked around to be sure nobody had heard him say anything.

"Hell no?" Tana flew up. Her finger waved wildly at Jace with accusation. "You... You!"

"Not a word!" Jace grumbled through clenched teeth, throwing his head toward the door and the possible prying ears outside of it. If Tana raised her voice, not only would there be a chance of people hearing it, the whole scenario would become too real to Jace.

"You love him?" Tana whispered in disbelief and sat down because she looked to sway a bit from the shock. She was white in the face and sat there, swallowing hard, trying to pull the words out of Jace with her intense stare.

Jace just fell back with his head resting on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. If he said it, it would be real. He would have to acknowledge everything. Tana would never let him sneak out of telling her, and telling her would make Jace have to decide. It would no longer be an uncertain feeling of maybe, if, and possibly.

"Spill the beans, now, Jacey."

"I think I'm in love with him."

"Think?"

"I know. I love Phoenix." Closing his eyes, Jace had expected to feel dread because he knew what love could lead to. He had expected to see Phoenix in a different light and be afraid he would screw it up because he chanced it being one-sided by admitting it.

What he felt was absolute serenity. Those waves the size of skyscrapers in his turmoiled sea of life, loomingly towering over him and threatening to capsize the life raft he clung to, calmed down. They pushed at the raft and made swooshing sounds when they collided with the sides. They still covered the darkness below, but they were not an overwhelming force that was stronger than him.

Nothing about his feelings for Phoenix felt scary or wrong. Admitting to himself that it was no longer something he might feel or something that could possibly happen in the future made him relax. He was there, had seen the light shine through a door he had left cracked open but been too afraid to open, because the light could have been anything. Fire, an oncoming truck, an explosion, but it had just been the sun, warming him and showing him the way out of the dark when he had finally opened the door fully.

"I've never seen that look on your face." Tana smiled softly and leaned back too. "He's a lucky guy. But you're even luckier because he found a way inside those massive armaments you've built around yourself."

Jerking up, Jace tried to understand Tana's words. He studied her to see if she was joking, or if he had missed some sarcasm, but she just smiled at him with understanding and happiness on his behalf. "You mean you approve? I thought you hated the guy?"

"Why would I hate the one man who can make you smile for no reason other than thinking about him?" Tana leaned forward and placed her elbows on her thighs to rest her head in her hands. "I may not show it, but I know who to piss off because they're assholes and who to annoy because I like them. Gareth and Phoenix both go into the last category."

Grabbing his head to relieve the minor headache from being flung around by the new discoveries of the last minutes, Jace mumbled, "I'll never understand women."

"Me neither. We're complicated enigmas. Guidelines are in the manual we get when our tits form, and we just run with it." Pointing at the coffeepot Jace had poured his cup from, Tana waited for Jace to catch on. "Is it fresh, or do I need to call Gareth?"

"I'll order us something. Sit tight."

Jace went to find the in-house phone and called the kitchen for something refreshing and a bite to eat.

"Ok, now you tell me all the details you haven't told about Phoenix, and what has Gareth spooked so much he's about a spindle short of having you sleep in this tower for one hundred years while he solves shit."

Talking about it put a lot of things into perspective for Jace, and Tana was a surprisingly good help with sorting his feelings and helping him understand why it had taken him so long to accept that what he and Phoenix shared was more than physical only. Being assured of it being a block in his head from Levi that had slowly deteriorated to allow Phoenix through, and the time it had taken was ok, gave him some peace. He was not ready to act on it yet, just admitting he felt something for the first time in years drained him. But Jace found peace in admitting his feelings at long last.

At least until they talked about Phoenix's feelings. Tana agreed Phoenix was capable of caring a lot, and maybe even love too. She also saw the difficulty in changing their relationship, especially with Jace trapped at the mansion and Phoenix obsessed with catching Levi. They needed to spend time together, and Jace had to up his game to gradually add more romantic sentiments to what they did to get Phoenix used to the change at a pace that was unnoticeable at first. If he got used to it, then he would see it as normal, and normal would become a need. Great, big love declarations and instant change would have Phoenix's mind overloading. He did not function well with the unpredictable or life-changing. Jace knew him well enough to never push that on Phoenix.

Tana urged Jace to be more affectionate without being clingy, and he needed to show more appreciation for everything Phoenix did. If Phoenix thought Jace took all his efforts for granted, then he could possibly one day wish to not do them anymore.

That was what they came up with while drinking Natalya's Samovar-made iced tea and eating an embarrassing amount of baked goods.

"Ok, the first item on the agenda is to get your ass out of prison," Tana concluded and stuffed the last piece of cake into her mouth, patting her stomach and smiling like a cat that had caught the canary. She practically purred with satisfaction. "I appreciate the prison food, but you can do jack shit from these rooms."

Jace threw his napkin down. Tana was right. He had been afraid after the airport meeting and scared out of his mind, because he had no idea why Levi had been looking for him and why he had said they would meet again. They were over. Jace had told him several times before he had transferred to Dublin. Not that Levi was ever the most attentive listener, that Jace knew, but he had informed him, and in public too.

Levi could come, if he did, they would get him, and it would be over. That was much better than hiding like a scared kid behind his mother's skirts. Or Gareth's expensive suit pants, as it were.

Jace was fucking done being afraid and done hiding, only living half a life. Phoenix had shown him what was at the end of the rainbow, and all he had to do was buy an umbrella and go through the last of the storm, and it would be there. His pot of gold!

"I need to talk to Gareth," Jace mumbled and looked for his phone.

"I think this is one conversation you need to have in person."

Stopping and thinking it over, Jace put his phone back in his pocket. "Yes, he can't blow me off if I'm right there." Jace stomped to the door and ripped it open, putting the poor hinges through a second round of abuse that day.

"Hey, where are you going?" Yurij asked and tried to block Jace's way. Georg, Stjepan, and Pavel, who had the shift with Yurij, soon joined in creating a wall for Jace to not leave.

"I'm going to see Gareth, and I'd advise you to move."

Yurij got an uncertain look about him and glanced at the others for support. "Bossman said you should stay here, and we had to make sure."

"Yes, and if I was about to do something dangerous, like paint a bullseye on my ass and go stand at the airport, I'd have no problem with you telling me to stop. But I'm going to see Gareth, inside his own damn fortress with the four of you and the tiny ninja there to have my back," Jace gestured at Tana, who looked about as dangerous as a wet kitten. "You can escort me there, or we can deal with it physically."

Yurij threw his hands in the air and stepped aside. He never wished to fight Jace. He would get his ass handed to him so fast his head would spin, and besides, what he said was true. They all felt that Gareth overreacted, and though they too wanted Jace safe and gladly guarded him, they felt the man should be allowed to move around the house. Go train, eat with the others, and have some leisure time in the common room. He would be just as safe there, and probably less lonely.

"Since I value the whole breathing thing, I'll escort you there. At least, G-man can't say I didn't protect you all the way."

Jace smiled and patted Yurij's shoulder. "Thanks, my friend." He smiled at all of them. "You guys, too. I appreciate what you've done for me lately. But it has to end."

Pavel laughed and took a spot behind Jace and Tana with Georg, where Yurij and Stjepan took the front. "It'll end alright. Either you win, or you die from standing up to him."

"I'd prefer to win, if I have the choice." Jace winked over his shoulder at Pavel.

Only their footsteps sounded on their way through the halls from the wing where Jace's rooms were to the floor of the offices. A few people waved and nodded at them when they saw them. None ventured over to talk. Jace smiled at that. They probably thought he was in trouble and had been called to the principal's office.

At the door to Gareth's domain, the guys fell back, all displaying the confidence of men awaiting their execution. Gareth's temper was legendary, and though he did not kill people, he could shatter them verbally and had no scruples putting them on shit assignments until he felt they had earned their way back into his good graces.

Jace calmed his nerves. He was standing up for himself. He was taking charge and needed to show everybody that he was not a porcelain doll to be wrapped in cotton and protected from the world. Gareth was his friend, and boss, too, but friend foremost, and that had to count for something.

He knocked with more confidence than he felt, smoothing back his hair to feel Phoenix with him for mental support. The pendant of the necklace rested warmly against his chest, assuring him Phoenix was with him. He could do it.

"Enter!" Gareth's gruff reply carried from the other side. There was nothing new there. He always talked like he had a thousand things going on and everybody was bothering him.

"Better stay out here, it might get ugly," Jace said to Tana and squared his shoulders, readying himself to go in.

"And miss the show? Hell no! It'll be like the Fourth of July, Diwali, and New Year's in one. I'm not missing the fireworks."

A few snickers came from the guys. Tana was fearless. Maybe a bit stupid and in love with drama, but fearless for the most part.

Shrugging, Jace reached for the handle and opened the door.

"G-man, got a sec?"

Gareth's head shot up from the monitor he had concentrated on, confused for a second, then replaced by worry and anger. "What the hell are you doing here? Go back to your room. I have some stuff I need to finish before I head out of town." He stood and tensed up, the muscles in his arms bulged from the already-fisted hands. He speared Tana with a crushing look. "You, Wicked Witch of the West, get lost."

Tana rested her hands on her hips and returned Gareth's murderous look with a droll stare. "Make me."

"Gareth, we need to talk. This has been going on for long enough," Jace said clearly to get his words across and break through Gareth's instant wall of denial. "I can't stay locked up. I'm withering away from boredom. You know, I need to feel useful. I'm not asking to be sent into the field, but I can do more than sit in my rooms and grow moss. This is my mission. I know Levi and I can be at control, helping."

"Jace," Gareth sighed. He leaned forward and rested his hands on his desk, looking blindly down at whatever paperwork was there. "I can't let him hurt you. Please, you're my best friend. If I lose you..."

"Gareth, you won't lose me. I'm not going to London or Luxembourg until this is over. And Sweden can suck it. Levi doesn't know where I am. I can still be a part of something." Jace moved forward to stand just opposite Gareth by the desk. Gently, he reached out to touch Gareth's shoulder to gain his attention. "Brother, I'll do shit boring jobs if that makes you feel better. I'll have a bodyguard team glued to my balls everywhere I go. Just please understand, I can't sit on my ass and do nothing while others fight my battles for me."

"I know. I know." Gareth sighed and lifted his head to meet Jace's pleading eyes. He let out a deep sigh of resignation. It was not like he had not seen it coming. Jace would never stand isolation for long, and he would definitely not accept being kept out of the loop. He had done it with the best of intentions, hoping they would have caught Levi before it became an issue.

"I can't let you be part of the operation. The entire team will attend that community festival in London, and I don't want you anywhere near it."

"I can stay here. I can even accept not moving back to my apartment for now. But I just need a bit of freedom to move and see people."

"I'm going to a wedding this weekend in Madrid. An old classmate of mine, his sister's getting married to this guy I've done business with." Gareth snorted and rolled his eyes. "If you fucking promise to not do anything stupid, you can come. I was supposed to go alone, but they won't mind if I bring a friend. You might even enjoy it. There'll be good food, booze, and bridesmaids."

Jace smiled cheekily at that. He knew Gareth meant well, thinking that a semi-drunk bridesmaid would cheer him up. Normally, it would have. Both he and Phoenix had agreed that outside activities were personal and not to be discussed, and he had enjoyed that from time to time. Being dominated by Phoenix gave him what he needed on that front, but being with women gave him something else and gave him the opportunity to be the one doing the penetration. He never sought domination of any kind with them.

That was Phoenix's privilege alone.

Only in that moment, he felt no desire to be with any woman. His feelings for Phoenix had changed his perspective on that. What he wanted was Phoenix and what they shared. Jace wanted to elevate that to where he felt no need for anything else, because Phoenix covered everything. With him he did not need to do penetration, he did not need to chase or charm. All he had to do was smile and accept.

If that was not enough of an indicator for him that he was in love, then nothing would be. Jace knew that.

"Who else is coming?"

"I was going to go alone, but since you're coming, I'll arrange a team. Just for airport and transportation purposes, don't be alarmed." Gareth explained and rubbed his chin, searching for his cigarettes. When he had found one and lit it, he blew out and got his thoughts in order. "I want you protected at all times at the airport. You'll not go anywhere alone here or in Madrid. But when at the party you can relax, and I'll send them away. Deal?"

Success!

Jace was ready for something to happen. A trip somewhere would be perfect.

"When do we leave?"

"Two hours. Go pack, remember a tux." Gareth nodded to show the conversation was over. He waved at Tana and gave his finishing command, "And get that out of here. I just had the place cleaned."

"And up yours too, General Douchebag." Tana gave him a middle finger salute and marched out, chuckling to herself.

Gareth just rolled his eyes and smiled. She was growing on him, and she was good for Jace.

"See you in two hours. And thanks, G." Jace ran out of there and closed the door before Gareth changed his mind.

Madrid. That was an upgrade to being trapped in a tower like a princess. Jace was looking forward to the change.

Hi dear Wattlings.

Thank you for reading.

Have yu missed Tana? She helped Jace get in a better mood, and made him realize he had to speak up to get out of there so he could do something for himself and get Phoenix. And a wedding? I think we all know who's wedding that is and what'll happen there, right?

If you like it, then pop a vote and please leave comments. The comments are important for me to know how the story is progressing and the characters are developing. And I'd love to know what you think and interact with y'all.

Give me a follow too for updates on other work and put this book in your library. I'd appreciate that.

Love, Alix

Published: December 17th, 2021. ©Alix Davenport, Copenhagen