Then

I'm not dying, I'm just tired. I'm not dying, I'm just tired! Phoenix repeated the words to himself when he unlocked his front door and hauled his suitcase inside. Well, the suitcase rolled easily. He, on the other hand, had to drag himself over the threshold. His body protested every move he made, screamed at him to just drop on the spot and stop wasting energy. It warned him that tired and dying were just two sides of the same coin, and he flipped it over by pushing himself.

It had been nearly a month of non-stop work, helping all the victims and closing down the mission. He had been in charge of relocation packages, jobs, and housing for the people who had chosen to not return to where they came from. Some of them had not had anything to go back to, others were too damaged to want to be a burden to their families, and there had been a few who had chosen to not disrupt the lives of the ones they had left behind because they had moved on.

The rest of his team had been in charge of information gathering to give to Horse and Cellmate for them to locate their families in the first place. He had seen little of Jace because Jace had been with the victims most of the time, and Phoenix had needed to do his regular job too, or they would have had to commit Vlad to an insane asylum from having to do everything alone.

It had been rough.

Too many sad stories. So much pain. It felt like he had been in aftercare mode for a month, and though he truly loved the fact that he for once had skills that were useful for human interaction, it had been taxing on his mind to be social to that extent.

"Hello, Mister... I mean, Phoenix, Sir." Chess waved from the living room where he stood on a stepladder to wipe down frames on some paintings. "I'll be done soon. This is the last room. Your bedroom is ready if you need a shower or something after your trip."

"Good afternoon, Chess, I'll be out in a moment." Phoenix waved back and rolled his suitcase into the bedroom. Everything was pristine, the bed was made with fresh bed linen, the bathroom tiles sparkled like they had been sprinkled with fairy dust, the carpet was meticulously vacuumed, and all his laundry and dry cleaning were put in place, even though Chess had not been asked to do so or told how to do it to Phoenix's specifications. But it was all where it should be.

If that was what the agreed amount of pay got him, then Chess deserved a raise or a bonus. Would it be insensitive to hand him cash? Phoenix's mind was too spent to figure out the ins and outs of proper behavior.

The bed drew him in. Flaunting its size that fit him, unlike the hotel bed, showing off the soft pillows, and inviting cool linen that would wrap around his body like a gentle lover. It called for him like a siren for sailors at sea, and he was ready to walk into its trap.

He was not dying, just tired. And his bed reminded him of that rather impolitely.

"Do you want something to drink, or I can fix you a snack before I leave?"

"Just a soda. I have nothing to eat. I'll order a pizza or something," Phoenix called back to Chess' suggestion. He would have to go shopping at some point. The place needed food stocked, but for the night, he would order in. He could adult the next day.

Or the day after that.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I shopped for you on my way here when you called to say you'd be home."

"You did?" Phoenix walked into the kitchen as Chess pulled stuff for a sandwich out of the fridge. Deli ham, Swiss cheese, mustard, mayo, crisp lettuce, and gherkins joined the fresh bread on the counter in a matter of seconds.

"Like I would let you come home to an empty kitchen?"

Almost like Phoenix's mother would have done, Chess looked at Phoenix like he was a bit on the ungrateful side of being dense. He continued to make two sandwiches and put them on a plate he handed to Phoenix with a soda.

"I'll get out of your hair now. We can talk when you've had some sleep." Chess wrapped up everything to put it away and cleaned the counter where he had made the sandwiches.

Sleep?

That truly was not a bad idea. Food, shower, and sleep. That did not sound like the worst evening. Then he could start fresh the next day with the mountain of work he had piled up for him to go through. It was not that he minded the work, it would be a nice solitary job to go through proposals and contracts for the next few days. Vlad surely would welcome the load off him, since Gareth had been unusually quiet and withdrawn since that day at Count Perreault's estate.

Gareth did not like to kill. No doubt he was capable of it and had done so plenty of times in the line of work he did, Phoenix did not kid himself into believing otherwise, but as he had said to Perreault, it was always people who had taken steps to wrong him. It was not in Gareth to make the first aggressive move. He relied on his reputation to keep situations at bay, and only threw himself and his men in the mix when that was the only option. With Perreault, he had been the aggressor. He had actively ordered people killed and killed a man in cold blood.

Even if it was justifiable, because Perreault had deserved everything he got and then some, Gareth had not let his sense of honor, his sense of right and wrong, overshadow the logic of what he would eventually have to do. That was also Gareth in a nutshell. He could order his men to protect innocents and take care of low-ranking henchmen, but he would always take the blood of the leader on his own hands. That he would never order others to do.

Being a leader had advantages as well as disadvantages. And those haunted Gareth every waking moment.

He would be back to his old self after a bit of time at the bottom of a whiskey bottle. Phoenix had left messages for him to call at any time if he needed company or just a talk. Not that talking was what he did best, but listening he was very good at, and Gareth probably needed to pour his thoughts out rather than have a conversation.

"Chess, what do I owe you for the food? I told you, I'm not going to make you have expenses for helping me."

"You don't owe me anything. I bought a bit of food. You give me more than that in tips at the club." Chess looked down and blushed. He wrung his hands and moved back a bit. "I could use a small favor, though?"

"Sure, what is it?" If it was the month of being with other people, or it was because he knew Chess, Phoenix did not know, but he felt Chess' discomfort.

"Could I borrow your car for a few hours on Thursday? I'm taking somebody to the hospital, and a car would be a lifesaver afterward." Finally, Chess lifted his head and looked desperately at Phoenix. "It's only for a few hours. I swear I'll look after it and be careful. I'll bring it back without a scratch."

"Hey, hey," Phoenix said gently to calm Chess. "It's not a problem. You can borrow the car for however long you need it."

"Thank you!" Chess moved forward and grabbed Phoenix's hands to shake them with gratitude. "I would have asked Packard, but I really don't want to."

"Why not? I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help."

"I don't want him to get the wrong impression. I like him a lot. But he's a very rich man, he has a lot I don't, and the difference is noticeable to everybody."

Phoenix frowned and leaned against the counter. "I don't think he even cares about that. Packard is not a snob. He likes you for you, and he would gladly lend you his car if you asked."

"I know he would. But that's the problem. People already accuse me of sleeping my way to the top and being a whoring gold digger, and I've not even slept with him yet. I don't want him or anybody to ever get the impression that I'm using him."

"That I understand, though you shouldn't let other people's judgment make you feel less than you are. You know you're not using Packard, and Packard knows it too. That should be the only opinions that matter."

Chuckling, Chess smiled crookedly. "Yeah, you would think that. But as poor and a sub, I live with people's judgments daily."

Phoenix had to admit that Chess was probably right. Even with the best of intentions, people would judge based on rumors and half-assed ideas. Status in life was one of the first things to be scrutinized when a couple got together. Social barriers would always be a topic for evil-minded and jealous people to spin stories and make others feel bad for their choices.

"Ok, Chess. Why don't I just give you the keys at the club Wednesday evening, and you can bring the car back on Friday when you come to clean?"

"You're sure?"

"Jace has three cars and only one ass to sit in them. I'll be fine if I need to go somewhere. Don't sweat it, ok?"

It took quite a lot of convincing and even more flourishing sentiments of gratitude from Chess before Phoenix found himself in his office with his sandwiches. Packard was a very lucky man to have won over somebody like Chess. The man had character, morals, and he was an absolute cutie. It still bothered Phoenix that he did not know why Chess was the way he was. A guy as intelligent and hardworking had to have a reason for not living up to his full potential, and he sincerely hoped that Packard would find out what held Chess back and help him fulfill his dreams.

While eating, he made the bank transfer of Chess' pay for the month with a bonus. He paid some bills and checked on his investments. In Phoenix's world, those were brainless activities he could have done in his sleep, which was quite lucky, as he was already halfway in dreams. He felt drained in so many ways that he could barely think.

I'm not dying, I'm just tired. He kept his mantra in the shower, where each movement tried to convince him he was actually dying. Washing his hair felt like it took the rest out of him.

Like a walking corpse, he slid into bed and spread his long limbs out like a starfish, relishing in a bed that was made for his size. If he had not been too tired, he would have made bed-angels from the feeling of the mattress under him. The cool and freshly washed bed linen wrapped around his body, cocooning him in its soothing goodness and lulling him to sleep in no time.

"What the..." Phoenix grumbled groggily and fought his way out of the sheets he was tangled up in. He lashed his arm out and patted it on the nightstand to find his phone. The bright display burned his tired eyes when he tried to see who it was, so he just closed them and felt his way around the phone for the accept button. If it was Gareth, he regretted having offered to help.

The sound was killing him, and he was too tired to die, if that was even a thing.

"This better be fucking important!" he growled menacingly and got met with silence, which was not exactly improving his mood. "Speak up or get off the line!"

"I...I'm sorry. I'll call another time."

Instantly, Phoenix sat up. His brain cleared in a matter of seconds, and he rubbed his eyes with one hand while he clenched the phone with the other.

"Jace?"

More silence.

"Jace?"

"I didn't mean to disturb you. Never mind."

"Jace!" Phoenix said with a low growl.

"Phoenix..."

He smiled to himself in the dark. "I can be at the club in two hours, is that ok?"

Jace's relieved sigh was easily heard through the phone.

"Thank you. I'll be there."

"I look forward to it..." Phoenix paused as heat crept into his body. "Would you mind wearing that harness for me, Baby boy? You look so damned sexy in it."

The tiny gasp he received was like fuel on a fire. The heat in him doubled. He was not tired anymore, and one part of him was definitely not dead.

"Yes, Sir."

It registered as words to Phoenix, but it was more a breathy moan of acceptance from Jace. The sound held promises. It showed Phoenix just how perfect Jace was in his reactions. The way Jace could say 'Sir' was like a verbal grip around Phoenix's cock. It was firm and merciless, and it drove away his rationality and sent his mind into overdrive about the things he wanted to do with Jace, one day when he was ready for it.

Phoenix was not tired anymore. He was still dying, but it was another kind of dying. He was dying to get his hands on Jace, to be close to him again, and to dive into the sweetness of his submission. Phoenix had missed their emotional intimacy, and since Jace had expressed a need and desire for a deeper physical one, Phoenix was excited to see how they would progress now that the door was opened. He was still hesitant because he did not want to bomb Jace back in his healing, but a small part of him wanted to show Jace the real Phoenix.

The man Jace would get if he just accepted him fully. The Dominant and the boyfriend...

Shit!

Boyfriend?

He had to snap out of that delusion. He would have to settle for being Jace's Dominant, and that part of him was ready and eager.

In the shower, again, while getting dressed, in the car, and waiting in the playroom, Phoenix's heart rate was critically high. His blood pumped through his veins like a wild river of passionate needs. His control was the boat caught in its current, being tossed around the crashing waves and spinning with every bend so he barely knew front to back of himself anymore.

The wait was excruciating, to put it mildly. He wanted Jace in his arms. His fingers itched to touch his soft skin and make him moan in pleasure. Before the night was over, he would have Jace whimpering with desperation and then crying out in blissful orgasms. Jace's orgasms and all his reactions would be enough for him to gain his own mental orgasms through the power and control, and through seeing Jace enjoy himself.

That was his ultimate high.

Phoenix had been there long before Jace was supposed to arrive. He had been by the closest late-night supermarket to buy stuff for his fridge because he had asked Chess to clean out the fridge when he had found out that he would stay in France for a longer time than expected. So he only had drinks left, and they needed snacks for after. There was nothing like feeding Jace small treats and listening to him sigh at the sweet taste.

The chime of the bell for his playroom door drew Phoenix from his memories of Jace's lips locking around his fingers when he fed him strawberries. The sight of his tongue licking the juices...

Ok, door!

He ripped the door open and stood frozen to the spot and took in Jace's appearance. He had clearly changed in the subs' locker room because he only wore his stonewashed jeans and the harness, and by God, he looked perfect.

His skin slightly glistened, if it was from the shower or nervous perspiration made no difference to Phoenix, it was an open invitation for his tongue to lick him all over. The harness made the pecs stand out, and the color drew attention to the nipples that stood out as already hard, little nubs. The way he heaved for breath, and excitement shone in his eyes, gave him a sexy allure that Phoenix would never tire of.

"Come in, Jace."

The huskiness of Phoenix's voice sent delightful shivers through Jace. It was almost like back when they had trained, that uncertainty of what would happen, but the anticipation and excitement in knowing that something surely would. His body ached to feel the dominance again, and his mind just had to let go of everything to be guided into the darkness of surrendering.

"Thank you, Sir." Jace moved into the room and stood straight in the spot where Phoenix usually wanted him when they began. He bowed his head, put his hands behind his back, and waited. His stomach muscles drew tight because of the tension in him. Phoenix saw it and hoped it was excitement rather than uncertainty. Jace had called him, after all.

"Jace, what do you want tonight?"

Fast, Jace's head jerked up, his eyes sought Phoenix's, and he blew out a shaky breath. Damn Phoenix and his blunt approach. There was no easing into anything. Hard facts and direct questions that demanded prompt and honest answers.

"I want it all, please. Phoenix, I need you. I need to forget all the horrors and suffering of those people." Jace sighed and closed his eyes with a shake of his head. "Show me that not all BDSM has to be bad. Make me feel good about what I am and who I am when I'm with you. Show me that Dominants are good people and not sick as we've witnessed lately."

"What do you mean by all?" No force on Earth could make Phoenix's mind stop racing with possibilities. Hopes of what Jace was asking, and fears of overstepping. If he could just let go once, take Jace into his world, and show him what a respectful Dominant was capable of doing with his body and mind. It would be a privilege and such a rush to have Jace give in to the real him.

"I mean anything you're willing to give."

Moving away from the closed door and stepping up behind Jace, Phoenix let his fingers slide down Jace's back. They followed the leather straps around his body in feathery touches to feel how sensitive Jace was at that moment. Goosebumps erupted instantly. They called for more touches, and they stood at attention for Phoenix's fingers to feel the prickles.

"Are you sure?" he whispered with his lips close to Jace's nape, his tongue flicking out to touch the skin teasingly. "Can you handle it?"

"I need it," Jace said in a breathy moan and leaned back into Phoenix to feel more of him. "I don't want the detached teacher or the aftercare Dominant who walks on eggshells with me. Don't get me wrong, I love those sides of you, but I want the real you, the Dominant. I'm not afraid of you or what you're capable of. If you're mine, then please show me you mean it."

"If that's truly what you want, then you need to know that I'm not an easy Dominant. I'm controlling and demanding, and I want you on a level you can't even begin to imagine. I'll work with you to reach your pleasure in ways I've not done with you so far. Rest assured, I'll always be respectful of you and your limits, you know that, but I won't hold back, Jace."

Phoenix kissed Jace's neck and blew a hot breath on the skin to drive Jace crazy by doing almost nothing. He loved those small sounds Jace rewarded him with, the shivers, and that way he tried to hold his breath but failed because he had to whimper for more. That was how Phoenix wanted Jace, lost in his own needs, to the point where he only felt pleasure. That overwhelming, mind-consuming desire, blocking out all his fears and trauma, to empower him to walk into a world they could share where his past did not come between them.

"If you want the Dominant in me, I can give it to you, but I expect something in return. I expect obedience, trust, and honest reactions. You do not hold in your sounds, those are magnificent, and I want them all. You do not deny me any trembles of your body, tenses of your muscles, or twitches of that beautiful cock I know is already hard for me." Sliding his arm around Jace, Phoenix played his fingers down Jace's washboard stomach to cup him outside of the pants. He easily found the outline of Jace's hard proof of what he had just claimed. Involuntarily, Jace's hips shot forward into Phoenix's hand, but was stopped by the firm grip around his length.

"That's what I'm talking about. If you have a reaction to anything I do, you fucking show me, good or bad. You will remember and use your safe words at the slightest discomfort, and you'll believe in me to stop if you deem it necessary by safe wording. I will never let you down, Jace, but I need your word that you'll know when to say stop and that you have absolute confidence in me respecting your evaluation of the situation."

There was more. Jace felt Phoenix had not finished laying down his terms. All he could do was wait to see if Phoenix would say something he was not ok with, but so far, Jace was all in. He could find nothing in Phoenix's demands that he would have issues with. Mainly, it was liberating to have everything laid out like a map for him to follow.

"I can't have you overthinking everything, and I won't have it when you assume anything. I'll tell you in no uncertain terms what I expect from you along the way. If I don't want you to cum, I'll fucking tell you, otherwise you let yourself fall over the edge when you reach the point of no return." Phoenix moved closer and his lips brushed against the shell of Jace's ear when he whispered, "If there's any doubt in your mind still, let me put that doubt to rest. Having you cum from anything I do to you is the single, most beautiful compliment you can ever give me."

The words had a dizzying effect in Jace's head. His knees nearly buckled from using all his consciousness on absorbing what Phoenix had said, leaving no brain activity to keep up normal bodily functions like standing and breathing. His heart stopped pumping for a second, not that he needed it because all his blood he needed in his southern region, anyway.

Slumping into Phoenix's protective and supportive arms, Jace let out a strangled sound. "I promise, Sir."

"No, don't 'Sir' me here. I want a promise from you, Jace, the man in my arms, in my life. I want the you I'm privileged enough to have. The one who's confident in himself and his worth, who's beautiful in his submission because he's strong enough to know what he wants and dares to reach for it without shame, because that's who he is. Nothing less will do it for me."

Never in his life had Jace felt such respect for anybody. Phoenix was warning him and reassuring him at the same time. He was allowed to react, allowed to be himself, and he would get Phoenix, the real one. All he had to do was believe that he was worthy and acknowledge that he trusted Phoenix.

"I promise, Phoenix."

"Then I'll be what you want me to be tonight." Phoenix smiled against Jace's skin again, kissed his neck, and sucked on the skin. The slightly salty taste was a contrast to the fresh smell of coconut. It overloaded his senses in the most titillating way. "Now, tell me three things you want tonight. Three things you absolutely need that you wish for me to do. I can't promise I won't do more, but those three, if we agree on them, you can be sure I'll do."

Jace threw his head back and gasped out loud at Phoenix's lips on his skin. The continuous rubbing against his hard-on distracted him, and it made his mind go to mush. How was he supposed to think when Phoenix drove him mad like that?

"Could you maybe use your hands when you warm me up? I love the whips and paddles, but I've never felt you. It's like a barrier between us with the implements."

A surge of power went through Phoenix when Jace opened up for those deep needs of his. To feel his skin warm under his hands at the same time as getting the visual of the skin reddening. Hell, yes! "I'd love to. And the second one?"

"Would it be ok if I touched you a little? I mean, not just your hair but your chest, maybe?" Jace knew not to push it. What he wanted was to touch all of Phoenix. He wanted to see his body and worship it with his hands and mouth. He wanted to suck him long and hard, to hear him when he felt physical pleasure instead of only mental satisfaction. Jesus, he wanted to grab his ass and hold those tight muscles in his hands. He wanted to taste him when he came and lick him clean in appreciation. That was what he really wanted, but with Phoenix's apprehension about that part of his anatomy, that was something they had to work their way toward.

"Is that something you want to spend a wish on?"

"Oh, God, yes!"

"I'll think about it. What else do you have on that wish list of yours?"

Jace sighed with disappointment but accepted that Phoenix had issues there. He wanted the man closer; it was not something he would be adamant about if it only pushed Phoenix away.

"Could you be more creative with the restraints? I know you've held back, but you like ropes much more than leather cuffs. I do too."

Chuckling, Phoenix bit gently on Jace's earlobe. He rubbed provocatively on the front of Jace's pants because when Jace was excited and maybe a bit frustrated, he was extremely honest.

"I might have to remove this harness and show you how good I am with ropes. You'll feel the coarseness against your skin, how it tightens around you and allows me to decide any pattern I think will look good on your sexy body."

"Please..."

"And your third wish?"

That time, Jace hesitated. He was afraid to voice his need, afraid that what he wanted most would get denied. As long as he had not said it out loud, he still had the fantasy of it being granted. If he spoke up and Phoenix denied him, that would be the end of it.

Out of nowhere, Phoenix grabbed onto Jace's hair in a brutal grip. He ripped his head back and spoke in a low rumbling voice, "Look at me, Boy."

Jace's eyes snapped open and met Phoenix's without fear or hesitation. That soothed Phoenix a little. He had not tried to scare Jace; he was being the Dominant that Jace had asked for, the one who took his role seriously but demanded the same level of seriousness to counter. "I'm not Levi. Never disrespect me by fearing to speak up as you did with him. I'll always listen to you, and I might not agree or maybe I'll need to discuss it with you, but I won't punish you or disregard you as he did."

"I'm not, Sir, please. It's not like that. I'm not afraid to tell you, I'm afraid I won't get it."

"Then what is it you want? Don't you dare hold anything back from me and don't lie to me, ever. If I ask you to tell me something, you better fucking tell me, or I'll walk away and wait until you're prepared to be honest."

"Penetration," Jace cried out and shook in Phoenix's grip. The pull on his hair was hard and tight. Levi had done that plenty of times and Jace had hated it, because what always followed the grip were demeaning words and more pain. Even if he told the truth, the actual truth or Levi's version of what he wanted to hear, he would still get punished for whatever. But with Phoenix, he knew that the truth would set him free. All Phoenix wanted was an honest reply, and then it would be over, and that was such a turn-on. "Penetration. I want to feel you inside me again, like that first time. You don't know how many times I've fantasized about how good your fingers felt."

At that, Phoenix just melted. He kissed Jace's temple and let go of his hair. "If I agree to that, I need you to know that I'll never hurt you. I'll not forcefully penetrate you in any way. I'd rather spend an hour prepping you for a finger or a small toy than have you feel one moment of pain from it. Last time you expected me to hurt you because that's what you were used to. I hope I've proven that I'm not like him, and you'll give me the benefit of the doubt if we try again?"

It was unfair of him to put it like that. Jace's reactions had been completely understandable the last time, and Phoenix had taken the time to relax him and show him how it should be. That, he would gladly do again, but he needed Jace to confirm that his reactions would not spring from him believing that Phoenix was anything like Levi. If he got nervous and tensed up, so be it, that Phoenix could handle, but not if Jace did it because he, in his mind, compared them.

"I know you're not him, and I'm not even asking you because I know that. Any decent Dom could probably do it right, and I would be ok with them doing it if they wanted, but only you can make me ask for it."

Shocked, Phoenix pulled back to gather himself. Fuck that man. He just had to say the right things to make him lose control of himself.

"Go stand to face the door."

"But...?" Jace tried to turn to face Phoenix, confused by his reaction. He had not expected him to agree instantly, and he had not even thought it would be something they could negotiate their way to a compromise on, but a cold dismissal was unexpected. He had been honest about his three, ok, four, wishes. He had opened himself to let Phoenix do some things a Dominant would hopefully wish to do to his sub. How had that backfired?

"Now!"

There was no way around it. Phoenix had shot him down, and that was just something he had to accept. It pained him that Phoenix was so against the two things Jace needed the most for them to connect fully. He understood it, though. Phoenix feared disappointing him physically, that was why he had accepted to give him some other components to compensate. Jace was ready to wait for Phoenix to gain enough confidence in what they had, wait for him to be ok with being naked together and allowing Jace to service him. And he understood that the last time they had ventured into penetration, it had gone horribly wrong. Not only had it freaked out Phoenix with the violent reaction and all the reveals of Jace's past, but it had taken a lot for Phoenix to be there for Jace and put himself last.

From a logical point of view, Jace could accept that Phoenix was hesitant to put himself in a situation where they would have to go through that again, and Jace could not promise that he would not have some reactions that sprung from triggers in him, but they would never be Phoenix's fault. All Phoenix did was for him to be comfortable. The least he could do in return was accept the few things that made Phoenix uncomfortable and wait it out.

Without arguing further, Jace walked to the door and stood with his hands behind his back, and waited.

Every breath was exhausting. The seconds felt like hours of uncertain waiting. Beads of sweat formed on his upper lip, and his skin became clammy from the heat in him, reacting with the cold in the room. It had no effect on his erection. It still stood proud in his pants, knowing that Phoenix would give it attention when he had calmed down. Not even Phoenix's dismissal of penetration would stop him from doing some kind of scene.

Jace heard Phoenix walk around behind him, and he felt him when he got close. His power was like an invisible shroud, wrapping around him. Whatever Phoenix would say and agree to, Jace was ready to be ok with.

A hand grabbed his arm roughly and spun him around. Phoenix slammed him against the leather-padded door and held him pinned with his body. His face was stoic. Jace noticed when he looked up to see if he could read Phoenix to figure out what would happen.

"You'll be the fucking death of me!" Phoenix growled, inches from Jace's face as he pressed Jace harder against the door.

A moment later, his lips crashed against Jace's.

Hard and unyielding lips took on soft and compliant ones in a show of force. They pushed with passionate pressure to make them open up. A tongue poked out to find a set of teeth that locked around it and held it in place. Phoenix held on to Jace's tongue and sucked on it gently, tasting the faint mint of toothpaste mixed with the tobacco in their breaths.

It was a strangely arousing combination.

Jace sighed into Phoenix's mouth when his tongue was released, but Phoenix kept sucking on his tongue. His lips tightened and his tongue swirled with the tip of Jace's at an unbearably slow pace. It felt so good, so right, to give in to Phoenix. Jace's hands moved on their own. They snaked around Phoenix's waist and flattened on his broad back to pull him even closer.

It was his one chance, and he would take whatever punishment it brought on him. He just had to try. Slowly, to give Phoenix a chance to stop him if he crossed boundaries he should not, Jace let his hands massage their way down Phoenix's back. His hands lingered at Phoenix's belt, where they played back and forth at the edge of the pants. They felt for the dimples through the shirt. Since Phoenix did nothing to stop him, he moved lower until he could rest both hands on the tightened-up muscles of Phoenix's perfect ass, and then he folded his fingers to cup those wonderful ass cheeks.

Phoenix still did nothing and allowed Jace to fondle his ass. Cup it, massage it, dig his fingers into it, and pull it closer for them to melt into one. What Phoenix did do was shift a little for his leg to slide between Jace's. He lifted it and used his thigh to rub against Jace's crotch, knowing very well that Jace did not wear any underwear. The movement made his muscles flex under Jace's hands, which only enticed him to grab the ass more.

The thigh made the jean fabric rub against Jace's most intimate area. The shocked tension at the contact made Jace gasp loudly and press himself down on the strong thigh that gave the friction he needed to begin those amazing tingles inside him. In his mind, Jace imagined that there was no clothing barrier between them, that the addictive rubbing of Phoenix's thigh was directly against his balls when he moved up and down to take Phoenix inside him.

"It sure feels like you've missed me. What are you thinking, Baby boy?" Phoenix whispered seductively against Jace's lips and took them into possession again. That time he let his tongue enter to dance with Jace's to show Jace how much he had missed him. It was a desperate measure to erase all those self-service moments in the shower that in no way came close to the real thing.

Phoenix allowed Jace no chance to answer. His mouth got invaded, his senses overtaken, and his focus was very much on the unbelievable rubbing sensation between his legs. It was there, but it was not enough. Jace knew Phoenix would not let him blow his load into his pants. There would be more teasing and play before they got to that point, but it was still the sweetest torture.

Phoenix's hands followed Jace's arms around himself to where Jace had a tight grip on his ass. He held on to his hands and guided them around, moaning at the feeling of Jace's fingers grabbing him. Eventually, he intertwined their fingers and moved their hands to pin them over Jace's head.

"I think I asked you something?"

Blinking wildly to focus on Phoenix, who was still only an inch away from his face, and swallowing in breaths to his screaming lungs, Jace tried to remember what Phoenix had said.

"I was thinking of riding you," Jace whispered with a blush and hid his face near Phoenix's shoulder. His body moved to gain more friction in the same up-and-down motion. He could simply not stop himself.

"Is that something you'd like to do?" Phoenix pressed on Jace's hands to let him know to keep them over his head, and then sensually slid his own hands down Jace's arms to his sides to get a good grip on his hips. Unexpectedly, Phoenix slammed Jace down on his thigh, moved him up a bit, and forced him down again. "Can you feel me? In your fantasy, can you feel me inside you? Stretching you and hitting that magic spot to make you see stars?"

"Yes, but it's not enough. I want more than a fantasy."

Phoenix's grip on Jace's hips became tighter, and he held Jace against his thigh to grind him on it. Rubbing him roughly in small circles.

"Did you miss me?" Phoenix asked in a low, husky voice, his eyes closed to live his own fantasy of Jace on top of him.

"I've missed you, Sir."

"Jace," Phoenix sighed.

"Phoenix, I've missed you. I've wanted to go to your hotel room so many times, but..."

"I know. That's all I needed to hear. I've missed you too, and I'm about to show you how much." Phoenix pecked a kiss on Jace's forehead. "I'll grant your three requests. But first..."

Breathing just as heavily as Jace, he let go of Jace's hips and stepped back. His thigh was the weirdest combination of numbness from the rubbing and still tingling, as small fireworks exploded under his skin. Turning around once in the spot for Jace to see, he sent him a dirty half-smile. "Undress me. Just the shirt. You have ten minutes, and I won't stop anything you wish to do."

Glancing at the clock on the wall by the bed, Jace reached out for the top button of Phoenix's shirt. He had permission? He could touch Phoenix in any way he wanted for ten minutes? Both his birthday and Christmas were a long way away, but he had just gotten a visit from Santa, and that opportunity he could not let pass. Ten minutes was not enough. His hands felt numb and incapable, like he had slept on them, and the blood flow refused to return to them for them to function normally. It would take him at least five minutes to work his way through the buttons, and maybe Phoenix would tire of his adolescent behavior and stop him.

Fumbling to get the first button opened, Jace looked up when Phoenix chuckled in his usual way.

"I'll give you five minutes more, if you just relax. I'm not one to go back on my word, and you seem nervous that I will." A finger under Jace's chin lifted his head for them to see each other. "Enjoy your fifteen minutes. It won't be the last time. Don't worry."

With each button opened, they revealed inch by glorious inch of Phoenix to Jace's hungry stare. The smooth skin pulled him closer and taunted him until he could not take it anymore. Slowly, Jace kissed the middle of Phoenix's chest. The warm skin under his lips burned into his senses, making him forget where he was. There were only Phoenix and him in a heated bubble of anticipation.

With each inch of Phoenix revealed, Jace covered it again with his mouth in wet, sexy kisses. His lips and tongue marked all of Phoenix as his. If he had not known it was a big no-no, he would have made hickeys all over the man just to state his claim.

The moment when he could pull the shirt free from the pants and push it aside, Jace took a step back to just admire Phoenix. Fuck that, fantasies were great and had worked fine until that moment, but the real thing had him literally salivating. Jace knew he was not the greatest of poets. Hell, he was just an average man, and he needed music, colors, and magnificent words to describe what he felt inside when looking at Phoenix.

To others, Phoenix surely had to be a good-looking man. Many would probably call him hot, which he was, and they would not be wrong. But they did not see Phoenix as Jace did. To Jace, he was perfection. There was nothing he would change about the man in front of him. From his broad shoulders with the clear definition out into the arms. The pecs with the tattoos that contrasted with his skin, the nipples that called for attention, the flat stomach with the defined eight-pack, and the thin happy trail of dark hair leading into his pants.

It was exactly like he had seen on that stage almost a year earlier, but now it was there just for him. Up close and personal.

Gorgeous.

"Fuck," Jace mumbled, more to himself than to Phoenix.

That was the best compliment he had ever gotten. Raw and unfiltered lust, comprised in that one word of admiration. Phoenix's stomach muscles clenched from the hunger in Jace's look. Did Jace really value an insignificant gesture like seeing him that much? Most subs appreciated his looks, but they rarely cared about more than what he could do for them. Jace looked like he was ready to devour him, like he wanted to lick him all over and never stop.

Phoenix's heart nearly stopped when Jace turned up his face and shyly smiled at him.

"Fifteen minutes will never be enough."

"I only set a time limit because that's about as long I'm able to last without going after you like a hungry lion." To reassure Jace, Phoenix reached out and cupped Jace's cheek, his thumb caressing just under his eye. "Just enjoy yourself, because when the time is up, I'll be all over you for hours."

The gesture was so beautiful, his words sweet and promising.

And it was bloody unfair because how was he supposed to concentrate when his entire body screamed for Phoenix to grab him and do all the sinful things Jace knew the man was capable of?

"The clock is ticking, Baby boy."

His feet moved without him noticing it, and suddenly he felt Phoenix's skin under his outstretched hands. Exploring and finding his dreams, manifesting fantasies as a reality, his fingers felt their way around Phoenix's sculpted torso. Since he had full permission, Jace brushed his fingers over the nipples and smiled with pride when Phoenix drew in a breath and rumbled low in his throat.

That was heaven.

He had an effect on the man and stood a chance at one day being allowed to do more than just explore. If his nipples alone could get such an immediate reaction, what would he get when he could take Phoenix in his mouth? When he could lick his balls and take him deep in his throat over and over?

Brushing his hands up while he licked and gently bit Phoenix's nipples, Jace pushed the shirt down from Phoenix's shoulders. He grabbed it before it fell and threw it to the side, probably prompting Phoenix's OCD about folding clothes. Sensually, Jace rubbed down Phoenix's arms to lift them and kissed his way to the side, to his armpit, and around to his back.

And there it was.

The tattoo!

The phoenix's eyes followed him wherever he looked. The sword down the middle, the thorny vines, and those orange flowers were a masterpiece, but the bird was living fire. Jace had never seen a more lifelike tattoo, and he had seen Gareth's dragon, which was fucking impressive.

"Who made this?"

"Some guy I met at a BDSM thing. Devil." Phoenix sighed when Jace kissed his back. The wet trail his tongue left down his spine sent shivers of lust through him that effectively scrambled his brain. "He made my mafia tattoo and a few others."

"He's the one who made Gareth's dragon too, right? But that was years ago."

"Yes, I've known Devil for years. I introduced him and Gareth." Phoenix chuckled. "He's quite the character. You should see the ink on him. Rorschach would be bloody impressed."

Those few moments when Phoenix opened up and just told things about himself, observations and impressions without being prompted, were magical to Jace. He snaked his arms around Phoenix's waist and leaned his head against his back to rub his chin against the phoenix. He loved when he did not have to push for information, and Phoenix felt comfortable enough to just share.

"Why this tattoo? Is it Excalibur?"

"Ask me another time." Phoenix spun around in Jace's arms and smiled a lustful, predatory smile. "Your time is up. Get naked, Boy. Now it's my turn."

Hi dear Wattlings.

Thank you for reading.

So, Jace needed to see Phoenix, and Phoenix was not too tired for that. Do you like that Jace has asked for the real Dominant in Phoenix, and will he get it? Will those three wishes come true or will something go wrong again?

If you like it, then pop a vote and please leave comments. The comments are important for me to know how the story is progressing and the characters are developing. And I'd love to know what you think and interact with y'all.

Give me a follow too for updates on other work and put this book in your library. I'd appreciate that.

Love, Alix

Published: November 8th, 2021. ©Alix Davenport, Copenhagen