❛ I had to ❜ 

It had been nearly a week since the fire and Oliver had yet to forgive Anna. She put herself in danger when she didn't need to, and she wasn't cleared for fighting. Her foot had healed, her back was always sore, and she still could hardly lift a pencil. But that didn't mean she was giving up and letting people fight for her. She could handle her own battles, and for some reason, Oliver wouldn't let her. 

They were on a break, they had been for four months, yet neither of them acted like it and secretly they both wanted it to end, though Anna wouldn't admit that just yet. Oliver was waiting for her, he was being loyal because he needed to earn back his girlfriend's trust. But he hadn't gotten that far.

Anna sighed as she sat on her bed and she quickly shoved her journal under her special corner. She didn't want to look at it right now, she instead wanted to take a nap that was probably never going to happen in her room. So instead, she stood and exited her bedroom with her favorite blanket in hand. 

Anna walked down the grand stairs and made her way to the living room where Thea was perusing a magazine. She looked up at Anna's entrance and smiled lightly. "Hey, Bells," she beamed, scooting over to allow the girl room to lay down. "Hey, Speedy," she softly said with a yawn following. She draped her blanket over her legs and grabbed a throw pillow from beside Thea to use for her head. "Tired?" Thea wondered, glancing over at the woman who was now all snuggled up in her sweatpants, t-shirt, and fuzzy blanket. "I'm not feeling that great," she whispered, her eyes closed as her head sank into the pillow.

"What's wrong?" Oliver's voice came from the entrance of the room. Anna stayed silent but she heard his footsteps in front of her face. "Hey," he said quietly, placing a hand on her forehead to check her temperature, "Is it your ulcer?"

"I'm just not feeling well, Ollie. It will pass," Anna replied with her eyes still closed. Oliver sighed and brushed a strand of Anna's dark brown hair away from her eyes. He stood back up and wandered behind Thea to interest himself in the array of food behind the couch. "Tahitian green or midnight black, what do you think?" Thea questioned the two, her eyes invested in a car magazine. "I think that you've been dropping hints all week, Thea, and mom still isn't buying you a car for your birthday," Oliver chuckled. A smile was brought to Anna's face at Oliver's laugh and Thea's innocence. 

"I could not have said it better myself," Moira chimed in upon entering. "Oliver got a car when he turned 18," Thea complained. "Yeah," Oliver jumped in with his mouth full of food, "But I could back it out of the driveway without hitting a tree."

"Yeah," Anna yawned, "He hit a mailbox instead."

Oliver pointed his finger at the woman, "Hey, that was one time." 

"Bella's right," Tommy's voice sounded as his cologne invaded the room. "I do remember you taking the paint off the side of your dad's Maserati."

Moira smirked and Oliver shrugged, tossing a grape at Anna. She jumped up from her mini-nap and glared at him before popping the grape inside her mouth and sticking her tongue out at him. He grimaced and she giggled, standing to her feet and accepting the fact that she wouldn't be taking a nap to calm her headache. She would just take some painkillers.

"Thea, the party planner's waiting," Moira announced, motioning her daughter over to her. "Sorry to run off like this," she added, kissing Tommy on the cheek and then Anna. "Don't we have a convertible to go buy?" Thea smirked, pushing Anna back onto the couch to move her out of her way as she passed. Anna scoffed and lept right back up, "I'll get you back for that, Speedy."

"Sure you will," Thea rolled her eyes as she walked away from everyone. "Good luck," Oliver shouted to his mom who tossed him a glance before following Thea. "How's she holding up?" Tommy wondered while stepping over near Oliver and away from the doorway. "Um, Thomas," Anna called, her hands on her hips as she watched her best friend walk away. He turned, "Yep?"

"Where is my hug and kiss?" 

Tommy grinned and walked back over to her, giving her a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she chuckled, patting his chest in approval and following him over to behind the couch where Oliver stood. "She's okay," Oliver replied in response to Tommy's earlier question. "Thea thinks she actually a little bit too okay."

"What do you mean?"

"Just... behaving erratically. Shut in one minute, running the company the next."

"That's what Annabelle did," Tommy shrugged, gesturing to the woman next to him. "What? I did no such thing," she defended, smacking his arm. He winced and pursed his lips, "Your parents were killed and you cried for days, but as soon as the funeral was over you were up and hosting a press conference!"

Anna scoffed, "Okay, perhaps I did such a thing maybe a little, but I wasn't bipolar!"

"No, you were not," Tommy huffed before turning on his heel and mouthing 'Yes she was' to Oliver. "Look, her husband is missing and presumed who-knows-what. If anyone had an excuse to be erratic, it's your mom," Tommy assured Oliver. "That's what I told Thea," Oliver sighed.

Anna looked at the television and grabbed the remote sitting on the armrest of the couch. Oliver watched as she turned the volume up and both seemed intrigued by the news. "The department has got the same comment about this heist as it did the other two," Quentin Lance told the reporters, "No comment."

"The SCPD may not be willing to go on the record but traffic cameras got the entire heist in this exclusive," the reporter stated. The screen switched to a black-and-white surveillance tape and Anna folded her arms across her chest, "Where is the 'viewer discretion advised' warning?" she muttered to herself as she watched the violent tape play.

"That's why you keep all your money offshore," Tommy said over the audio that was explaining the heist. "That's insensitive, Tommy. Two people were killed," Anna scolded, glancing back at the man who was shaking his head. "I'm not trying to be insensitive, just look at the tape. This is some Glades shit, they need better everything down there."

Anna and Oliver directed their attention back to the television and watched the disastrous consequences of the heist. 

Tommy was right, they needed better everything in the Glades.

•••

Anna shivered as the cool air hit her skin. Goosebumps covered every centimeter of her and she whipped around to try to find a way out. Fear resonated in her mind and she gulped, her hands tightened around the blade wrapped in her fingers.

A loud clang came from the other end of the corridor and a tear slipped from her eye. Slowly, she took a step backward. Then another. And another.

A she took one more, a hand wrapped around her mouth and she screamed though it was muffled by the gloved hand. Another hand wrapped around her waist and she began to kick and squirm but it was no use. She continued to trash and scream in this person's arms but they wouldn't let her go.

They dragged her away, her feet didn't touch the ground, she cried out for help, no one heard her.

Her mind screamed 'Sara!' while her body screamed 'Please!'

She hadn't done anything wrong, she had taken down three of Ivo's best soldiers earier that day and killed two innocent men. But when she was locked in a corridor alone, she knew something was happening. She needed to find Sara.

But she couldn't do anything.

Anna's body lurched forward off the couch and huge gasps of air left her mouth. Her fingers were wrapped around a blanket, not a knife, and she was in the living room of the Queen Mansion, not the freighter. Sweat rolled down her forehead and she gulped, trying to understand what just happened. "Hey, hey, hey," Oliver said as he rushed around the couch and knelt down beside her, his hands working to untangle hers from their tight fists on the fabric. "What's wrong?" he asked with a soothing tone. 

Anna shook her head and clenched her eyes shut. She couldn't tell him, she couldn't even look at him. 

Once her hands were free, she wrapped an arm around her stomach as her horrible aches returned. Oliver didn't notice and watched her rise to her feet. Once she had calmed herself down, he took a step back. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Anna nodded and wiped her eyes quickly to stop the tears from rolling down. "Yeah," she breathed out before turning around to look at the living room to convince herself it was real and she was safe. "I'm okay. Just a nightmare."

Oliver hesitantly nodded and focused his attention on the laptop on the coffee table where he had been working earlier. Ted Gaynor, one of Diggle superior officers in the army, was the main suspect in the heists and his picture was displayed brightly on the screen. 

Trying to change the subject, Anna scratched the back of her neck and looked at the screen, "W-What's going on with this? How far did you get?" Oliver sighed, "When you took your nap I went to go work out and explained to Diggle my findings. This guy is Dig's old commanding officer and he doesn't want us to gert involved."

"Us?" Anna asked, raising her eyebrow in confusion. "I figured you could work comms. and I'll go out," he explained, watching a frown form on her face. "Anna, you're not ready, okay? You promised me and then you fought Garfield anyways!"

"I had to!"

"And I have to do this," he concluded. "You can't pick up a bow when you can't pick up a pencil. End of discussion."

Oliver sat down on the couch after he ended his and Anna's little argument and she sighed, sitting down next to him. "I'm sorry, Ollie," she whispered, her eyes finding her fingers as she fumbled around with them. He looked over at her and instantly felt bad for yelling at her. "I feel helpless. I don't want you to have to fight for me, and you are. It's not a good feeling."

Oliver nodded, "I get it, Bella. But I'm trying to keep you safe. Just let me."

Anna sighed and reluctantly agreed. "Did you and John argue?" 

"Is that going to stress you out?" 

"Maybe. But stress can be good."

Oliver shook his head, "Not for you. Just work control, alright? I'll try to make it fun."

Anna smirked and leaned her head on his shoulder, "What, are you going to make corny jokes and tell me some cheesy pickup lines?" 

Oliver shrugged, "I can do that." Anna's eyes widened and she looked at him in disbelief, "You cannot."

With an offended look on his face, Oliver turned to face her and pulled his legs up onto the couch to copy Anna's sitting position. He grabbed her hands and set them on his ankles before staring into her eyes. 

Anna looked into his crystal blue eyes and found herself lost in their sparks. She felt more in love with Oliver now then she did on the island. This wasn't just for survival, this was real. 

"I must be in a museum, babe," Oliver began, a small smile on his face. "Because you're truly a work of art." 

Anna's cheeks burned red and she giggled softly to herself. Oliver's heart warmed at the sight of his love admiring something so simple. "Okay, okay," he said, "I got another one."

"Go for it," Anna encouraged, her heart ready to burst for the other one. "Are you a beaver? 'Cause damn!"

Anna rolled her eyes and dropped Oliver's hands, "What? No, wait, where are you going?" Oliver called out as she got off the couch and picked up the laptop from the table. "You ruined the moment, Oliver," she disapprovingly chastised whilst leaving the room. "Wait! I have another one! Anna!"

•••

"Hey, Tommy is calling me," Anna cheered whilst she sat at a silver desk in her favorite rolling chair. She grunted as she leaned forward to pick up her cellphone and after straining her back it was in her fingers. "Can't you call him back later? We're on a mission," Oliver complained through the comms.. "It will take two minutes," she replied hastily with an eyeroll. "Besides, you are still on your way there. You will be there by the time I am off the phone."

"Whatever," Oliver grumbled, his comm. set going quiet so Anna could answer her phone. "Thomas, to what do I owe this pleasure?" she said happily, her being in a much better mood since her chat with Oliver earlier that day. "Hey, Bella," Tommy sighed from the other end, his mood clearly not as happy as Anna's. "What is it?"

"My dad just called," he grumbled, not realizing that Anna was just downstairs from him as he worked with the construction crew for the club. "Has he called you since he -"

"Cut me off?" Tommy interrupted, a scoff leaving his mouth at the end of his statement. "No, he hasn't."

"What did he want?"

"To go to dinner with Laurel and I,"  Tommy responded. "He wants us to be closer, and he wants to meet Laurel."

"Sounds like a dad thing to do," Anna shrugged, lifting her hand with the tremor to attempt to pick up a pencil. "Yeah, it is. That's the problem."

"I'm not following."

"Why now? He couldn't wait to get rid of me months ago, and now he wants to pay for my meal. I don't get it."

"Do you want some advice, Tommy?"

"It would be appriciated."

"I would do anything to see my parents again and tell them that I am alive, that I am okay and breathing. But I will never get that chance. You have a parent who has made many mistakes and has not been a good parent, but he wants to be there now. Do not screw that up because you want to prove a point!"

Tommy sighed and there was a long pause at the other end of the phone. "Yeah, you're right."

"I know."

"Have you been reading sappy novels or something?"

"Jordan may have dropped one or two off at the house so I could entertain myself during my week off. And I may have read one... or two."

"Of course he did. What a good assistant you have."

"Jordan is more scared of you than he is Oliver. He thinks he needs to win your approval because you're like my brother. You could make more of an effort to like him. He's a good kid."

"Maybe at your next event. Maybe."

Anna chuckled and looked at the computer before her to see Oliver's tracker nearing the Blackhawk security building. "I have to go, Tommy. I have a work thing," she lied. "I'll talk to you later?"

"Yes, definitely."

"Love you, Bells."

"Love you, Thomas."

Anna quickly tossed her phone into her lap and pulled her chair forward to be closer to the desk with the several monitors. "Okay, I have returned. Just as I said I would."

"I thought of another pick up line," Oliver stated through the comms as he hopped off his bike and prepared to enter the building. Anna rolled her eyes and leaned on her elbow, hearing glass shattering and arrows flying through her headset. "Hit me."

"I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together."

Anna laughed and spun around in her chair, "God, you are so corny!"

"As soon as I kick this guy's ass I have another one. Give me three minutes."

The line went silent again and Anna grinned, her cheeks all warm and her stomach flipping upside down in happiness. 

She was so in love.

She heard Oliver threatening his guy and she zoned off. But when she heard something strange, her ears perked up. "- Things are gonna' end badly for you," Oliver threatened, his bow aimed at Ted Gaynor. "Put the bow down!" a new voice intervened. 

Anna's head whipped up and her phone clattered to the floor. "Holy shit!" she swore, her fingers rapidly tugging the laptop closer to hack into the surveillance. "What the hell is going on, Oliver?! Is that John?!"

She didn't get an answer so instead, she opened the cameras in the building and saw herself staring at John interfering with Oliver's mission. "This is not good," she squeaked.

There was no response for a long minute and the next thing Anna saw was that Oliver had shot an arrow at the light and vanished. As soon as Anna saw he was gone, she let out a breath she didn't even realize she had been holding in and wrapped both hands around her stomach in pain. Her ulcer was upset, she was too stressed, and this was not helping her case. "Oliver," she whispered, fear taking over her mind as she had a vivid flashback to what happened on the freighter.

"I'm fine, Anna," Oliver sighed, his voice coated with anger and rage. "What - " Anna couldn't bring herself to ask her question or finish her statement. She just kept seeing Sara gorgeous blonde hair matted and tangled as Anna held a gun to it. She saw Sara's scared eyes and cut lip just begging for mercy. She saw herself dropping her weapon and backing away because she didn't mean to nearly kill her best friend, she just walked in when Anna was killing an innocent man, and she was scared.

That's it.

She was scared.

Fear.

"I'm on my way back."

Anna took a shaky breath and closed her eyes, "Oliver," she whispered again, her eyes opening as she trailed her sight down to her stomach that seemed to be turning inside out and was causing her unbearable pain. 

"What?"

"Ollie, my stomach hurts," she choked out, a slight whimper escaping her throat as she couldn't hold in the pain anymore. "What? I-I'm on my way, okay? Just don't go anywhere," he ordered, his motorcycle driving faster at the news of Anna's ulcer. "I can't move," the girl cried out, cradling her knees to her chest in her chair as she tried to wait for the pain to pass.

"I'm coming."

•••

Oliver had rushed back to the warehouse just as he promised. He practically tripped through the door to get to Anna, and once he did, he found her shaking in her chair with her head buried in her knees. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak. The pain was unbearable, but she couldn't take the focus off the mission. 

"Hey, hey, I'm here," Oliver said as he ran to her side, placing his hands on her cheeks and lifting her chin so her eyes with level with his. Tears ran down her cheeks but with Oliver's warm hands she melted into his touch and her shaking went down just a bit. "Please don't bring me to the hospital," she begged as he left to grab the antidote that worked so well on the island. "Anna-"

"Please," she pleaded. "Just take me home. Thea's party is in a few days, Ollie. I have to be there for her. I don't have to do the mission, but I have to go to that party for her."

Oliver sighed and lifted the antidote to her mouth, her gagging on it slightly as she tried to drink all of it. "Fine. But when the party is over we are going to the hospital," he demanded, a slight nod from Annabelle being his assurance. 

As he went to go change, Diggle entered the room and hate filled Oliver's mind. Anna dropped her head again as she didn't want to see this fight because it would add to her pain, but as soon as Diggle dropped his gun on the table, Oliver started yelling.

"I could've shot you, I could've killed you. What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I'm not gonna' let you William Tell an innocent man!" Diggle refuted while jabbing his finger at Oliver. "Gaynor isn't innocent, Diggle," Oliver scoffed. "You seem to think that mainly because of what's in your damn book, which you apparently trust more than you trust me!"

Oliver turned back around, "I tru- I trust my father. And he explained to me that every name on that list has a reason to be there."

"I thought you took that book off your father's dead body. How could he have been so chatty?"

"A few years ago, I found a message he left me explaining the list."

"Oliver, how is that possible? You were on a deserted island."

"I didn't say that I found it on the island," Oliver spat as he raised his voice. "Diggle, for the past four months, I have lied to, hurt and hid things from all the people that I care about. DO you really think that I would do all of this if I wasn't sure?"

"Oliver listen, Gaynor got me into Blackhawk. I'm going to prove he's innocent."

"If he isn't?"

"You owe me that. You owe me at least that."

Diggle stormed out and Oliver watched him go. Once he was out of eyesight, Oliver returned to Anna and kissed her on the forehead, "Alright, let's go home."

•••

Oliver tapped away on his laptop to try and hack into the Blackhawk security's platform. Behind him, Anna was cuddled in her favorite blanket on Oliver's bed with soft breaths leaving her lips. 

Oliver glanced over at her and smiled before attempting again to get into the site. However, the door opened as he tried again and he slammed the laptop closed and looked up, "Knocking is not just a suggestion," he scolded as Thea walked in and closed the door. "Okay, but I need to talk to you."

She looked around the room and her eyes fell on Anna who was peacefully asleep, "Are you two back together?"

Oliver sighed, "No, she didn't feel well and she likes my bed," he replied. "And I'm not telling you if mom's getting you a car," he smiled evilly. "It's not about that," she said seriously. "Remember last week when I asked you if you thought Mom was acting weird?"

"Yeah," Oliver shrugged. "Well, I found out why. She's hooking up with Tommy's dad."

Oliver scoffed, "That's insane."

"I just saw them together. It's happening all over again," she said in disbelief. Thea crossed er arms across her chest and Oliver raised his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

Thea sat down and looked at Oliver with a lost look in her eyes, "A couple months before you and dad left on the Gambit mom and dad were arguing a lot."

"About what?"

"I don't know. But she was having a lot of these lunch meetings with Mr. Merlyn, and now Walter's gone, too and Mom and Mr. Melyn are back at it and it's gross."

"Mom never would have cheated on Dad," Oliver reasoned. "She's not cheating on Walter."

"You don't want to believe it because you have this perfect image of Mom in your head. That's not who she is, Ollie. She's a liar and a cheater. And you really don't know her at all."

Thea walked away briskly and Oliver was left to question his mother as someone he truly knew. He had a conversation with her later on in the night and got the answers he needed. When he was finally content with his answers, he sighed and peeled out of his sweater and snuggled under his covers.

He brushed a loose strand of hair from Anna's face before turning the other direction and reaching to shut his lamp off. The dark consumed his thoughts and he drifted to sleep whilst next to the woman he loved most in the world.