❛ Please make it stop ❜ 

She stared at the notebook in her hands, tracing her finger lightly over the writing that seemed to haunt her every day. Yet, she couldn't stop herself from opening the book and remembering everything so vividly. She thought she deserved it. She had given people hell, she had done horrible things, maybe she deserved to suffer from the never-ending nightmares. What did she honestly have to live for anymore? Oliver had been arrested for being a vigilante, and it was only a matter of time till they came after her, too. They would be fools to not catch on. Or at least that's what she thought as she read over her recent journal entry toward the back of the book. 

Her eyes skimmed over the words, the truth: My name is Annabelle Carter. For five years I was stranded on an island with only one goal, survive. Now I will fulfill a wish, a wish that Robert Queen gave to his son after the crash. I'll use the list of names he left us and bring down those who are poisoning my city. But to do this, I must become someone else. I must become something else.

Just reading the words made Anna's heart race in anticipation. Everything was changing now. Maybe she suspected that, sure. But she didn't expect it to change so quickly. People had moved on, times had changed, things had evolved. Starling wasn't the same. 

Anna sighed and closed her journal before lifting the corner of the mattress and sliding it underneath. The notebook was thick, and the bed raised a bit once it was put in place, but it was the best hiding spot she could muster. If anyone found the book, they would know everything, and they would realize it had all been lies since their return. 

The girl stood up straight and fixed the duvet before turning around just as her door opened. Moira stood in the doorway and gave her goddaughter a faint smile before holding out her hand for Anna to take. The girl accepted and together they silently walked downstairs. "We must get to the precinct before they do anything to poor Oliver," Moira said to Walter as they approached the man at the door. He nodded in agreement and took her elbow while Thea ran behind Anna. "Do you think he really did all that stuff?" Thea whispered to Anna as they walked hurriedly behind the couple before them. Anna linked her arm inside Thea's and shook her head, "He would never. He is not that person."

Thea's eyes lingered on the woman for a moment and tried to think of the scars she saw on Oliver a few weeks back. The teenager was being left out of information that she would have liked to know, but she couldn't ask any more questions because with her mom and step-dad in the car, they were already on their way to the police station.

It was a long car ride, no words were exchanged and none needed to be, but as soon as the group stepped out of the car, the questions began to be shouted from the news reporters along the stairs leading to the station. Questions about the island, the arrest, the company Anna was supposed to be running, the Queen name, everything, really. Diggle did the best he could to push the cameramen away so the family could get inside, yet as a cameraman moved to take a picture of Annabelle, his equipment struck her in the side and she let out a yelp before latching onto Diggle's arm. Now, Moira had told him about her ulcer problems and to watch out for her, and as he saw her clutching her side, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and quickly got her into the station where he then placed two hands on her shoulders, "Hey, look at me," he said, making the girl breathe deep and stare into his eyes. "Are you alright?"

Anna took a deep breath and nodded. Diggle raised a concerned eyebrow before giving in and letting her go to walk behind her family friends as they pushed past officers inside. Moira and Walter went ahead, storming into the interrogation room while Thea and Anna were forced to wait behind in the lobby. 

Once Moira walked out, Anna raised her voice and asked the question, "What's going on?" 

Moira sighed and placed a gentle hand on Anna's upper arm. "Oliver is set on having Laurel as his represented attorney. I was hoping maybe you could sway him off the idea, dear," she said, gesturing to the interrogation room. Anna turned her head to see the open door and she pursed her lips, "Of course, Moira," she accepted before wandering down the hall.

She walked into the room where Oliver immediately looked up and he smiled, making Anna grin as well. She shut the door behind her and sat down in the chair across from Oliver as he stared at her and waited for her to speak. "It's all going as you wished," she told him, leaning back in the chair and staring at her fingers. "I know," he replied, somewhat looking down in shame for his own plan. "Your mom thinks I'm in here to convince you otherwise that Laurel should not be your attorney. I have no chance of that, do I?"

Oliver shook his head. "You think she can get Lance to change his mind, yes," Anna began, now looking around the room and landing her eyes on the camera in the corner. "Is there another reason?"

"She knows me, more than any other lawyer ever could," he answered, leaning forward to wrap his hands around Annabelle's. "I love you, and I know what you're thinking - "

"Do you?" Anna interrupted, her eyes meeting Oliver's while she tilted her head to the side and bit her lower lip, "Do you really know what I'm thinking? I truly hope you don't decide to waste seven great years of us on an old past relationship that lasted two to three months, and if you do, don't you dare take me down with you," she responded, yanking her hands away from his and standing to her feet. "Anna, wait!" Oliver shouted, the girl stopping at the door as she turned around to face him. 

"I had feelings for Laurel still when we started dating seven years ago. They didn't surrender completely until the island where I realized that I lost you. That was the worst feeling in the world, and I never wanted to feel it again. So when I found you, I made myself that promise, and I'm holding that close to my heart. My feelings are all you, none Laurel. I promise," he sincerely said, his voice aching for his girl - his love. 

"I don't break promises," he added. 

Anna clasped her hands in front of her and stared at the ring finger where she hoped one day would be an everlasting promise. She and Oliver had the conversation of marriage more than once, and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. He even had a ring picked out - not that she knew - and it was sitting in his desk drawer along with the vows he had already written. Yet, she felt something different. Something like a lie disguised as a promise as it slipped from his mouth.

Anna sighed and nodded carefully before turning around once more, her hand wrapped around the door handle. "I'll tell Moira you were stubborn," she said before exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

She took a breath before straightening her sweater and walking through the cubicles in the station, and as she approached the corner where she needed to turn, she was stopped by a familiar voice. The girl cleared her throat and turned around with a smile, expecting to be met by one. But she wasn't.

"I see you've talked to your boyfriend. When he isn't telling you how much he loves you, I guess he's killing people, like a side of fries with buffalo wings," Lance dryly chuckled with the company of a head shake. Anna sighed and folded her arms across her chest. "He's got a partner out there, Belle. I mean, you both went to the island, came back, and now he's the green hood? Who's the other one, you?" 

Anna narrowed her eyes in disbelief and looked at the man she proudly named a 'father-figure.' "Me? You think the woman who sports a black hood so condescendingly? Well, I never," she said with a shake of her head. "You have helped me become the woman I am today, you have watched me grow! Yes, I have changed from the island, I won't lie, Lance. But this is an accusation beyond my own understanding. I would never, and neither would Oliver! He is too busy watching over me and making sure I am okay, he would never have the time to do this," she excused, a scoff leaving her mouth.

"I've got evidence, Belle. No more softball, it's hardball."

•••

After a long day in court briefings, and a surprising turn of events in the courtroom where Laurel stepped in to defend Oliver, he was released and sent home. He had asked many upon many of times where Annabelle was, as he didn't see in court as he suspected he would, and his only answers granted to him were that she shouldn't have to be brought into this tangled mess and that she preferred to stay home.

She had heard the door open downstairs, yet she made no attempt to actually go down to meet Oliver and the family for a short while. She had watched the courtroom briefing from her laptop, and was caught up on everything. Oliver was going to be suspended inside his house with a bracelet to prove it. 

Anna sighed as she walked down the stairs. She heard Oliver assuring his mother that he was fine, yet the woman refused to accept his replies to her and continued to pester. It brought a small smile to Anna's face to see the woman so defensive, especially when that was one thing she missed the most on the island. It was 'Momma-Bear Queen,' the hero to her children.

The first words Anna heard as she entered the room where she spotted Tommy were: "I'm confined to this house for the foreseeable future. I might as well make the most of it," Oliver told his mother. "And this party is going to be themed, I'm thinking prison. Maybe Burning Man meets 'Shawshank Redemption.' The invite says 'Come before Oliver Queen gets off," he planned out. Anna closed her eyes and turned around, not even wanting to look her boyfriend in the eyes at this point. A party was the last thing that needed to happen. 

"Maybe a party's not in the best of pace. You know, considering the circumstances," Tommy intervened, moving to sit next to his friend. "Tommy, the circumstances are the reason we're having the party in the first place! I want people to know that I'm not worried about any of this."

"Well, that makes one of us," Moira said, her voice cracking a bit. She turned to face Anna who was now leaning against the doorframe with her head down and eyes closed. Moira sighed and gestured to her, "What do you think of this? Is it as stressful to you as to me?" she asked.

Anna looked up a bit, revealing the dark circles under her eyes and the evident pain spread across her face. Oliver tensed and placed his hands on the sofa to ready himself to stand up and walk to her, "I don't know anymore," Anna softly said before turning around and walking into the foyer. "Take a nap, Annabelle," Walter's voice called from the living room. The girl nodded though she knew he couldn't see her and trotted upstairs. 

"What's going on?" Oliver wondered, his glance directed at his mother. "Annabelle has an ulcer. She's had it for years, and the doctor says stress and anxiety provoke it, and that it could be fatal. She could just be tired, but if she tells me she's hurting, I'll call the doctor," the woman responded, her eyes shifting to Walter's as she stepped out of the room to go check on Anna.

Walter followed close behind, leaving Tommy and Oliver to talk downstairs. "Are you and Bella alright?" Tommy wondered. Oliver nodded, "Yeah, we're fine. She just thinks I still have feelings for Laurel."

"You told her you don't, right?"

"Yeah, more than once."

•••

During the time Anna napped for six hours, Oliver had me with Diggle about his plan to take down another criminal roaming the streets of Starling. She had barely been awake five minutes when Diggle knocked on her door and after she told him to come in, he apologized for waking her. She assured him she was already awake and after asking what was going on, he responded that he had a mission, and that Oliver had made it abundantly clear that Anna wasn't to involve herself or suit up - due to her now revealed sickness to Oliver - and that if Diggle needed help to just ask her for assistance on the behind-the-scenes work.

That explains why Anna was taking very careful steps down the stairs into the basement of the warehouse with Diggle behind her. She let out a pained hiss once her feet hit the level ground and Diggle had to stop himself from reaching out to steady her.

He watched her carefully as she powered on the electricity in the basement, and he looked around like a kid in a candy store at everything. "Wow," he said in amazement as he walked over to a table of purple-tipped and green tipped arrows. Anna grinned at his astonishment and plopped into the chair in front of the computer. 

Diggle touched an arrow and yanked his finger back after feeling their sharpness. "I would be careful with those!" Anna called out from across the room as she watched his actions with curiosity. Diggle rolled his eyes and wandered further around the base, letting his eyes browse over everything and his fingers touch nothing. "What is it that Oliver wants me to use?" he wondered, looking at the girl who was comfortable in the chair. 

"They're over here," she replied, motioning to a large box next to her on the table. Diggle made his way to her and opened the box carefully, letting his amazement fester in the new discs in front of his face. He picked one up and grinned, "Oh that's sweet."

Anna chuckled, "So, what's Oliver up to?"

Diggle shrugged and started messing around with the devices, "He's meeting with the DA, Laurel, and Lance," he replied, his eyes not leaving the machine. "He's going to take a polygraph, I presume," Anna said, spinning around lightly in her chair. "Yeah, I think that's what he was going for," Diggle replied, glancing over at Anna.

She leaned on her elbow while Diggle wandered around the base with the device, trying to see how it worked if he used it in a farther location. His dismissal for several minutes left Anna alone to think about the previous dream she had during her nap. It was all flooding back to her like a tsunami wave, and she was able to remember every detail.

The door to the small stuffy room opened and Anna wandered in slowly. Her body ached in every place, and she could hardly move without hissing in pain. She was already so sore just from one day of training, yet she needed to keep going. She had been kicked, punched, tossed, turned, thrown, dropped, and more by the guards in a three hour period. 

Ivo had instructed his men to begin training her, and so they did. Anna had protested Sara's training, and they agreed to put it off till later, though they ever specified when later would be.

"Anna!" Sara called out happily, her feet taking off on the concrete as she wrapped her arms around Anna's shoulders. Anna cried out in pain as Sara pressed into her ribs, and the blonde immediately pulled away, her smile replaced by a frown. "What's wrong? What did they do?"

"It's alright, Sara," the girl responded, trying her best to fake a smile. "They're just training me, it'll all be better soon."

"Anthony won't hurt you," Sara told her, her tone making Anna realize that Sara truly believed in Ivo and his intentions. "Shengcun, Sara," Anna said in return, slowly making her way toward the wall so she could sleep. Sara stopped her and carefully redirected her to the bed, "You're hurt, there's no reason why you can't sleep in the bed," she said, helping Anna sit down on the thin mattress.

"There's no reason for you to sleep on the floor," Anna argued, her eyes meeting Sara's. Sara sighed and assisted Anna to lay down and pulled the covers over her. As she laid, Anna let out a whimper and wrapped an arm around her waist where she knew a massive bruise was forming. Tears slipped from her eyes as she tried to calm herself down and take her mind away from the pain, yet she forced herself to let out a broken cry. Sara was instantly under the covers with her, her hand brushing through Anna's hair just like the older girl had done for Sara when she stayed up at night crying for a return home. 

"Ssh," the blonde whispered, her fingers sliding through Anna's matted hair. Anna stopped her crying, the pain being replaced by the desire to sleep. And slowly, as Sara relaxed the girl, she fell asleep with sweet dreams of Starling City.

•••

After Diggle and Anna finally returned home it was a bit past ten. Anna was tired - despite her earlier nap - and she was in lots of pain. Painkillers normally did the trick but she had already taken some and couldn't take more for another few hours, so these were wearing off and she couldn't have more. 

She remembered the pain she felt years ago after her training session and how Sara had calmed her down, but this pain was worse, and there was no one to calm her down.  

Tears slipped from her eyes after she dismissed herself from Diggle and each step she took made her stomach burn more and more. 

She made her way to Oliver's room, though she was annoyed and tired with him, and struggled to open the door. Once she got it open, she noticed Oliver about to slip his shirt on, and with no energy, she fell against the door, her body pushing it closed. 

More tears slipped from her eyes and Oliver turned to face her. Once he saw her tears, he yanked the shirt on over his head in a hurry and made his way to her. Her soft cries turned into pained sobs and she struggled to breathe through the pain. "Hey," Oliver said with worry, his hands reaching up to cup her cheeks. "Hey, what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong so I can fix it," he begged, seeing his love in so much distress.

She cried heavily now, her breaths uneven and the pain too much to bear. "Please," she pleaded through closed eyes, "Please make it stop. It hurts," she continued, scrunching her face as the pain radiated. "Please, Ollie! Please!" she cried out.

Oliver wrapped his arms around the girl and held her close. The pain grew and she found herself burying her head into Oliver's chest as she let out a muffled scream into his shirt. He cringed, his own tears threatening to fall as she continued to scream into him. 

This pain was unlike any that she had experienced. She was endured torture countless times, yet this was different. This ripped her apart from the inside out, and even Oliver would never truly understand the pain she was going through. The only thing he could truly do was hold her and whisper words of encouragement into her hair. 

But every time she screamed, a part of him broke, too.