a persistent call
inside a strange darkness

I sat in the cafeteria.

It was a bold move, and maybe a stupid one at that, because I was practically the only one sitting alone at a table. The rest of student body was fractured into groups that chatted among themselves, occasionally glancing over at the lone ones with a scornful or pitying look.

I didn't want to see any more of those.

I kept my head low, and ate fast, eager to get out of the loud silence that surrounded me. College wasn't a place where you wanted to be caught dead eating alone, but I hadn't been able to make friends. Or even allies.

High school had been easier, with teenagers who had been more prone to make new friends and hang out with people they met only yesterday, and it was much more easy to socialize. Plus, I had had my own group cut out for me, even though they hadn't been the best kind of people. I couldn't decide which was better—this, or having to hold on to the worst kind of people to thrive.

Popularity, power, pain.

I grit my teeth and ducked my head lower. The thin sticks in my hands dug into my palms as I clenched my fists around them, and the ends poked into my skin, threatening to rip through it. The food tasted like paper to my dry tongue, and the dry patch on my throat refused to let me swallow anything.

Yesterday—just yesterday a recruiter had seen me driving, and had—what?—tried to get me into a race. Was he even a recruiter? Something told me the whole ordeal hadn't been a façade, with the downtown almost floating at the horizon of the stadium.

Somehow, this world seemed to follow me wherever I went.

Vernon. Vernon. Vernon. The name rang in my ears, and I dropped the chopsticks, letting my face fall into my hands. Beautiful faces hid ugly secrets.

There was a screeching sound as the chair next to me was pulled up, and the dead weight of a familiar ravenet dropped into it. I looked up blankly, and the face from earlier in the week grinned across at me.

"Oh, come on, does this place suck that bad?" The boy who had winked at me in class grinned, running his fingers through his already messy black hair. "Need company?"

I kept my mouth straight, but the beginnings of a frustrated frown pulled at the head of my eyebrows. I didn't particularly like eating alone, and yeah, I was eager for company—but not this kind. Someone I could start over with.

"So you don't like talking either, huh?" He smiled, apparently undeterred, and pulled at the ends of his denim sleeves. It was then that I noticed that the rest of the crowd had gone a little quiet. "I'm Minhyuk."

"Y/N." I acknowledged, aware that I was indirectly accepting his subtle white flag.

"At least you said something," He muttered, more to himself, and then glanced at me again. There was something almost analytical about that gaze, calculating but not cold, exactly. Judging. Thinking. "Don't tell me you're the lone wolf type."

I gave him a flat look, none too impressed by the way he spoke. Over the week, I had learned more about him—Lee Minhyuk, sports scholarship, varsity jock. Pretty boy. "What do you want?"

He laughed, and it wasn't the sort of laugh I was expecting. Something cocky, maybe? Arrogant? It was breathy and surprised. "Yeah, you and I are going to get along just fine." Minhyuk leaned forward, and then backwards again. "I think I'll have to convince you socialize more. You're such a pleasure to have around."

I rolled my eyes, and shifted in my seat, ready to get up. "I'm not interested in meeting anyone. If I need to make friends, I'll do that on my own."

He shook his head, letting the curve of his jaw rest in his palm as he smiled at me. "I'm doing you a favour, though. Everyone knows everyone else around here, and you seemed much to interesting a prospect to be left out of all the circles." A quick glance, and then sideways. "I wanted to invite you to a party."

"You just got my name a few minutes ago." I rolled my eyes. "What makes you think I'll want to attend this party?"

"Because everyone important is gonna be there." The boy raised his eyebrows convincingly. "You need that in a new place. And of course, college parties are the shit." He grinned. "Especially if the right people are involved."

I stared at him, calculating his words. The last thing I wanted was to be associated with him, but the first thing I wanted was to be associated with someone else.

Anyway, it would be much better than having a friend who was involved in possibly illegal races. I had my pocket knife, didn't I? "Where?"

"Give me your number, and I'll text you the address." He flashed me another perfect smile as he pulled out a Sharpie and gestured to my hand. "I knew you'd come around."

"Don't test me."

"Right." The next smile was slight. Didn't he ever stop smiling? "See you there tomorrow, then."

So I agreed to a going to a stranger's party within my first week here.

Seoul, I guess.

──────

The place reeked of sweat and booze.

My nose crinkled, but I kept my opinion to myself, mostly because no one was listening. The address I had been texted wasn't a house after all—it seemed like one of those places you could rent out for a party.

The area was located in a shady part of the city, freakily close to the downtown area where I had gone for driving just the day before. Even then, I considered the place generally harmless. It might have been not so safe for the inexperienced, but I was all good with a high alcohol tolerance and horrible social skills.

There was a bar, and the spacious interior of the place was completely filled with people, not all of them from Gyeongju-seon. I spotted some familiar faces from around the hallways and halls, but no one I had ever talked to. Namely, Lee Minhyuk.

The music was loud, as expected, a loud EDM track that felt like ripping paper to my sinuses. The smell didn't help, humanity mixed with more unwanted scents—drugs in particular. What the fuck had I gotten myself into?

I looked back, but the overwhelming crowd had already pushed me into the core of the particular room, and the exit was not in sight. My fingers twitched in panic, and I looked around wildly—I had to get out. Fast.

"Lost, honey?"

A hand snaked its way onto my shoulder, sending a shiver down my spine that didn't play over my skin. I didn't turn, but the face came into view pretty soon—a young woman with long, dark hair and piercing eyes.

"Not really." I kept my face straight, but as my eyes skimmed over her attire, I felt overly conscious about my plain—in comparison—clothes. "I'm just looking for a friend of mine."

Her sweet scent was overwhelming, like strong perfume, but to my trained nostrils, it couldn't have been more obvious. I didn't know what this place messed with, but the girl's clothes definitely smelled like cocaine.

This was definitely no everyday college party.

She smiled, and I found myself smiling back. Better not to come across as a newbie—I knew how to work with these crowds. "Oh, Minhyuk, probably, right? He invites most of the college kids," She continued when I nodded assent. "I'm in your year, I think...don't worry about him, though, hon. He's probably with his other friends right now, but I can give you company, right?"

My jaw clenched uncomfortably, but I shrugged. The girl was pretty—really pretty. Even her makeup was on fleek, long hair spilling over her shoulders in rivulets.

Her hand stayed cupping the air around my elbow, almost unnoticeably, as she led me through the crowd. My eyes stayed on the side of her face—I almost didn't notice as she pulled me into a corner.

"I'm Seulgi." She smiled, and my answering expression was one of discomfort. "I thought you would be uncomfortable with all those people, so is this alright?"

I sat down slowly on the couch, glancing over her features to make sure she wasn't under the effect of the drug. Normal. A relieved sigh escaped my lips. "I guess."

"You don't seem the party kind." Seulgi commented as her eyes skimmed over my outfit, but not in a mean way. More observatory. "Don't tell me you think all people do at parties is fuck strangers and snort coke."

I cracked an awkward smile. "I think I'm pretty right about the coke part," She chuckled at that. "But I don't think the fuck strangers part would be so concrete. Maybe just...make out."

The dazzling smile was back on her face, and she sat down slowly, every movement of hers graceful and elegant. I watched, enamoured, as she tilted her head to the side and tapped the the glass with her very long, very red nails. "That's such a straight thing to say."

I swallowed, my eyes flickering to her lips as she licked them—very obviously at that.

"So," Red on white, her upper teeth bit softly into her painted bottom lip coyly as she leaned forward, "do you want to loosen up?"

"Huh?" I blinked, confused, but she only smirked, putting a slender hand on my shoulder again, the crest of her palm just touching my exposed collarbone. I leaned back subconsciously as she leaned into me, her eyes on mine.

"You don't want to be bored," Her eyes seemed to rip apart my curtains and dig into my mind, and I stared back, completely lost in their labyrinthine beauty. "We have a lot of time here, honey."

"I don't understand." I tried to speak, but the words were barely audible, spoken in a whisper. Suddenly, I was painfully aware of the way her sweet breath brushed my top lip, and how close we actually were. The unexpected heat bloomed in my chest like a fire, swirling slowly into a supernova as Seulgi leaned closer, so there was barely any space left between us. My eyes flickered between her lips and eyes again, and her knees brushed the side of my thigh, both of her hands now on my shoulders.

"Don't you want to be a party person, Y/N?" She whispered, biting her lip, and my breathing quickened again as she kept moving, gazing down at me with hooded, desirous eyes, a lazy crimson smirk painted across her pretty features. "Isn't this what party people do? Make out with random strangers?"

I was unable to speak, and my heart thundered as her top lip brushed mine. I'm straight. She laughed softly against my mouth, making my heart race. I'm straight?

She leaned forward, tilting her lips onto mine, and my eyes closed.