Now close your eyes
Breathe in my world

Every step was leaden.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Vernon's eyes flickered to me every now and then, but mostly, no one really paid attention. My head rested in my hands, and I stared emptily at the table in front of me. Too much. Too fast. It had all been too fast.

A few other racers were grouped at the table away from mine, Vernon being one of them, but despite their invitations, I didn't join them. Though I knew I should have been trying to get my mind off things, it was much too hard. No matter what I did, the memories hit me like a fresh wave of icy water every time I drifted off. Every time I closed my eyes, his face burned at the back of my eyelids.

I abandoned them.

That's why they were here, weren't they?

I was all alone at the table, even though empty seats rested on either side of me, and invariably the front. They were here. How could I have missed it?

Panic rose in my throat, again, but I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed back the building scream, letting my head fall into my arms.

I'll find you again.

The context was entirely different this time, yet fear burned along with the same familiar longing in my chest. I had too much connected with Daejong—I had lost too much, and that was why I was here, to move on. But I couldn't. I couldn't. I never was any good at moving on.

From what? I wasn't sure. The good part, or the bad?

I lifted my head and took a deep breath, letting my fingertips run across the cold, metallic edge of the zipper down the front of my jacket. That was what I needed. I needed to wake up.

And when I thought I would finally be able to forget.

I glanced up. A shadowed figure stood at the door a few feet into the room, away from the crowd. No one else would be in any mood to be pulled away from company, so it was obvious who it was.

As I stared, the figure rested a hand on the side of the doorway, a cigarette dangling from between the long fingers. Though I couldn't see the face, I knew the person was looking at me.

Then he turned, and walked out of the door outside.

I hesitated, freezing in my seat. It was a clear indication that the figure wanted me to follow, but I didn't know if I was in any shape to talk, much less go where my expressions were in full scrutiny.

Glancing at the empty seat where Vernon had been a few moments ago, I got up, and slipped into the crowd.

The exit was relatively easy to find, with no eyes following me, but the moment I got out, the wind was like a blast of arctic air, right in the face. I hugged my arms, taking a deep breath.

The plaza was empty.

Only a single street light was glowing, the orange-yellow glow fading around me as I reached the garages. My brow furrowed. He had been here, hadn't he? Or did I just misread?

The races had been called off for a few days until the matter regarding the bikers was sorted out, and it was decided whether they were a proper threat or not. At least, that's what I figured. It wasn't like they told me anything—but the fact that I had seen the biker gang up front, and Vernon's worried glances were repetitive, gave me an indication that the mood was off.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and just as I turned around, someone grabbed my arm, pulling me into the space between two garages in one swift motion. I stifled my scream, but my arm came up protectively, heart thudding against my chest.

Taeyong's face was dully illuminated in the bare orange light, the shadows filling in the angles of his face, the shape of his nose, his lips, under his high cheekbones. His eyes were tense, jaw set, but he didn't move his hand from my arm, instead pinning me to the wall.

"You know something, don't you?" He breathed, voice terse. "The bikers. That's where you're from."

I shut my mouth stubbornly, choosing not to speak, to let myself be overpowered by his grip on my bicep and the weight of his gaze, pinning me under it.

He clenched his jaw, bringing his face closer to mine. "Speak," He snarled.

When I didn't comply, he let go of me, covering his face with his hands and taking a deep breath. I almost crumbled right then, with the fear of what I had seen and the possible knowledge that someone knew.

"I didn't want anyone to endanger this. Bring anything else, anything as dangerous into this, but..." When he uncovered his face, his eyes were desperate. "You couldn't have brought them here."

My voice cracked when I spoke. "I wouldn't."

The space between the walls was not much, and our bodies were close, and I could feel the heat radiating off him even as he stood a few centimetres away. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it. I took a deep breath, fighting against the prickling in my eyes.

"I know." For a split moment, his voice was soft, tender even, and he was so close I could feel myself give in. Almost. Then he stiffened. "That's what you meant? When you said you were born?"

I breathed out slowly, separating myself from the wall by a little bit. "No."

Taeyong's expression darkened again, and he rested his hand flat against the wall next to my face. "Fuck this."

For a second, I thought he was moving closer, but he stopped barely away from my face. I could feel his hot breath fanning my face, welcoming in the low temperature of everything else.

It was crazy. Crazy how he could make me forget about everything just by being so close. So, so close.

"I don't want them here." He said suddenly, not moving away. There was barely any distance between us, and the way he moved...my skin tingled even through the layers of the jacket, his hands so close to my skin I could almost feel them slide over it like a silk blanket. "The others. I don't want them here."

The cigarette was still clenched in his other hand, his hair falling over his eyes in bloodred shades. It took me a moment to understand, with my heartbeat faltering and picking up pace, and his lips so close I could lean forward and kiss them. Was he talking about the bikers, or...the others? The ones inside the bar?

My breath became shallower as I considered the prospect, the heat of his body so close to mine, the dark look in his eyes as he looked into mine—could it be?

His head dipped further.

For a moment, we were still, like a statue of intertwined marble, his breath hitting the exposed skin of my neck, his lips so close my skin that it was painful.

Do it. I thought. Please.

But he looked up, and I felt like I had stepped on shards of broken glass. His eyes glittered with something dark and sharp, like face etched with pain, like he was forcing himself to run a blade across his skin. Taeyong swallowed, his Adam's apple dipping and coming up, and I shivered.

Why had he pulled me in here? When there was no one to listen, to watch?

"You can use something instead of a cigarette, you know." I tried to keep my voice level, speaking the first thing that came to my mind. "Like a lollipop." The packets strained against my pocket, and heat rose up my throat.

The corner of his lips quirked up, and just like that, the tension increased a tenfold. "Lollipops are for kids."

"That's offensive."

"It was supposed to be." I didn't know why, or how, the conversation had stilted from something close to a death threat, to something that I still couldn't define, to our usual banter, all the while retaining the familiar, painfully thick tension between us. "Go ahead and tell me you have one."

My hands curled against the stick, and I brought out the lollipop, making the plastic wrapper crackle as I ripped it open. Taeyong's lips were curved into a wider smile, and I was on fire.

"As a matter of fact," I bit my lip, bringing the candy up, right in the space between our lips, "I do."

His shoulders shook with silent laughter, and I felt the hard surface of the lollipop's top touch my lips ever-so-slightly. Taeyong's eyes fell to my parted lips, his eyes darkening, and he licked his lips almost hungrily, wrapping his fingers around the stick, over my hand. His teeth made a soft sound as they came into contact with the candy, and his lips closed over it.

Breath hitching, I extracted my hand from under his, and—his eyes not once leaving mine—he dropped the cigarette, crushing it under his heel.

"Let's see if this works, princess," He took the lollipop momentarily into his hand, and mocked, lips tilting lazily into a smirk. "Else I'll have to see what to do with this...development."

I had a feeling he was talking about more than just the bikers.

The look in his eyes was conflicted, but he didn't let me speak. He leaned closer to my ear, cheek almost touching mine.

"Or maybe we'll let the fire decide."

──────

GDKSJDDK YOU GUYS GOT THIS TO 100K?

okay this is absolutely crazy and amazing and i love you guys sm i just - this is crazy. holy shit.

especially because this is a multifandom book and there aren't a lot of those on wattpad, i didn't think Rush was ever going to hit it so big. but you are just so sweet <3 this is like the best early present.

every single read, every single comment means so much to me. YOU mean so much to me, you don't even know. this book is completely out of my comfort zone, and we're moving into the action - i'm just so glad to see you kittens as excited for this as i am.

no matter what you look like, what your grades are like, no matter who you are, or who you have - you matter to me. you're important to me.

i love you <3

xoxo,
Manx.