actually, it hurts me
to let you go

I flinched as he slammed into Vernon, knocking him into a wall with a force that I knew would leave him disorientated long enough for me to escape.

Vernon made a strangled sound at the back of his throat, though his surprise lasted only a moment before he pushed back. With a start, I realized that the one thing he had not known about was Taeyong—which was almost shocking, considering how well-informed he had been, knowing even about my mother being from the same clan as him.

Maybe he had known. Maybe the only thing he hadn't been aware of included only Taeyong's involvement in Baekhyun's plan.

Despite the intensity of the moment, I couldn't help but marvel at how well Baekhyun had managed to cover all possible obstructions—though they hadn't all been perfectly accurate.

"You," Vernon snarled, lips curled back in a hateful sneer as he grappled with Taeyong, trying to reach the discarded gun before he could. "You're the reason she's in even more trouble now."

The muscles in Taeyong's face were pulled tight, as if he knew exactly what Vernon was talking about, but wasn't pleased with him bringing it up. I pressed my back against the wall, watching the two helplessly, wanting to help but not sure who I wanted to help.

I can't choose.

The redhead restrained himself from speaking, the hatred in his own expression matching that of Vernon's with equal intensity. Both of them must have known that I wasn't prepared to pick either of them, which was probably why they seemed completely invested in each other rather than paying attention to the gun in my shaking hands.

"Go," Taeyong managed to choke out from his difficult position, his shoulder pushed against Vernon's lower torso in a tackling attempt to push him up against the wall. Vernon kicked up his knee, driving it into his abdomen and forcing him to let go with a pained grunt before he dived for the gun.

But I was frozen, too terrified for both of them to move from my position. The two options were clear in front of me—stay with Vernon, or leave with Taeyong. My priority at the moment was not my own escape, but keeping both of them alive, somehow.

Through the screams echoing inside my head, I tried to weigh both situations carefully. It was obvious that Vernon was the more skilled fighter of the two, probably having dealt with far worse than Taeyong. If I stayed behind, there was no way of knowing that he was going to let Taeyong leave the saw house alive, not after knowing that he was one of the heirs to the Lee clan.

If I left, I still had a chance. Though there would still be no guarantee that Taeyong would be able to escape the racers, the least I could do was buy him more time, maybe enough for him to find a safe hideout.

Breathe, Hwang, breathe.

"Stop," I called out, aiming straight at Vernon's chest. Both of them stilled, Vernon's fingers inches away from the gun lying on the ground. "Or I will shoot."

His chest heaved. "You won't kill me."

"But I can mortally injure you," I pointed out, hoping that he wouldn't call my bluff. My eyes shone with determination and unshed tears, jaw set, feet planted firmly on the ground. "Give us long enough to escape any way."

His eyes flickered to mine, then the gun. For a moment, my spirits deflated; of course he would be able to tell when I was lying—he had probably carried out a number of deals with hardened criminals before, much worse than me. He knew I was lying; it was right there in his eyes.

Then he dropped his hand, straightening into a position of surrender. "All right," he said calmly.

Taeyong looked between us with disbelief simmering in his eyes. Not being one to waste an opportunity, I jerked my chin in the direction of the door, and he obeyed, keeping his distrusting stare on Vernon as he left. I grabbed the fallen papers slowly and carefully before leaving alongside him, all the while keeping the gun pointed at Vernon's chest.

He watched me leave, the same undisturbed calm in his eyes that only made me feel uneasy. I didn't exactly have another option, though, I thought as I sprinted towards the Stingray, hot on Taeyong's heels.

Every ragged breath felt like blades raking across the inside of my lungs as I strapped myself securely into the shotgun seat, repeatedly glancing at the safe house, but Vernon didn't leave. Taeyong shared my confusion, the skin tight around his mouth as he backed up and we drove away from the place.

Dawn had begun to break out, the earliest light of the day making the sky look like a lake frozen in winter. The area around us was bare, the road long and winding, the coolness of the air adding to the road-trip look of the place. Everything was a cold, arctic blue, the tip of my nose and fingers cold from the temperature.

A few minutes after I had calmed down and absorbed the full force of the events of the past day, I felt like crying, though I wasn't sure if it was from relief or pain. The paperwork and gun rested in my lap, my arms wrapped around my body to keep the gaping hole in my chest from swallowing me whole.

Taeyong glanced over every few seconds, his mouth set in a thin, worried line. There was a long scratch down his cheek, the skin around his neck and jaw already turning darker to indicate future bruising. The lines of his face seemed sharper, the veins in his wrists and forearms more prominent than usual.

The sight of him hit differently now.

"Why didn't you come sooner?" I asked when I first got my voice back, hating how calm I sounded when my mind was in agony. "Why did you wait, why did you let him enter the safe house in the first place?"

"I thought, what would Baekhyun do?" He answered dryly, lips curving softly as he glanced at me. "Save the resources. There was no way I would have been alive right now if I had attacked him earlier, so I decided that catching him off-guard would have been a better option if I wanted you to escape."

Inhale. Exhale. "I was so scared."

"I know." The animalistic frenzy went out of his eyes, replaced by softness. "I was so scared, too."

I'm glad it's finally over, I wanted to say, but was it, really? My thoughts kept going back to Vernon's words. Somehow, I knew he hadn't been lying when he had told me that I leaving Korea wouldn't help me truly escape. Would it ever be over?

I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out the answer.

Would I be free, if I took that plane? I didn't think so. I felt like a bird, flying around in a trapped space, able to fly but unable to escape. I was a bird. The world was my cage.

"Taeyong," I started, hesitating only a moment before plunging headfirst into the question, "the night we fought, in the car—"

"I know," he said, keeping his eyes trained on the road, but the tightening of his hands around the wheel gave his thoughts away. "I felt guilty about not telling you how the Lee clan might be related to your family, even after you had explained your past with the bikers." He bit his lip. "I'm sorry for not explaining the whole story. There were so many holes in it, I couldn't put them into words. If I had known, I would have told you."

I looked at him then, truly looked at him. When I spoke, my voice was sad. "Would you?"

His lips thinned. "I hope I would."

The ride was relatively short, but the air was so thick with unspoken words that my restlessness made it feel like we went on for hours. The landscape was a blur as we passed it; the back road leading around the settlement to the airport was empty enough for him to drive above seventy.

Even if we didn't say it, both of us were more than a little nervous about Vernon's easy acceptance of my weak threat.

I couldn't wait to see my dad again. The people who had surrounded me for the days I had been away from home had been welcoming but suffocating. I wanted to breathe, but even in the Stingray, which I considered a safe haven, I was unable to cry.

I kept hiding how vulnerable I was. The conversation with Lay, and later Vernon, had left me feeling doubtful of everyone's loyalties. Taeyong was a part of the Lee clan, one of its heirs. How could I ever be sure that he wasn't waiting for an opening to let his brothers in?

Vernon had sounded completely sure that I wouldn't find safety in another country, and one thing I was confident about was the surety of his words. Maybe Taeyong was counting on that. Maybe all this he was showing me was just an act—maybe he was banking on my faith in him. After all, I still wasn't sure why Baekhyun had let Taeyong stay when he had outlined his plan for my escape.

Baekhyun himself was an informant, a person with a past with the bikers, who for some obscure reason weren't chasing him the way they were chasing me, though he might have some important information about them. What if Byun Baekhyun had been safeguarded by the Lee clan?

What if the racers truly were the only gang strong enough to protect me?

With a sigh, I let my forehead rest against the cool window-pane. This is what my mind had come to. I knew that I had never been a very trusting person, burnt experience in Seoul had left me feeling isolated. Even if everyone I suspected was innocent, the safest route was prevention.

I could not trust anyone. Not even the people I cared about.

"We're here," Taeyong said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I sat up, a little startled by his sudden break-in, and looked around us. Though the slightly run-down buildings indicated that we were closer to the urbanized part of the city, I was confused.

"I can't go any further, in case they notice the Stingray," he explained, noticing my confusion. "If you remember, they're still illegal here. It's not far, anyway, and your father will be waiting for you not too far from here."

I nodded, shoulders relaxing. With slow, jerky movements, I unstrapped myself from the seat, climbing out while still clutching the papers. Taeyong got out as soon as my feet touched the ground, shutting the door and rounding the front to reach me.

"The gun," he said, pointing to the weapon in my hands. "You can't take it inside the airport, if you noticed."

I hesitated. My recent thoughts had still been holding on to my mind, and I wasn't sure if I trusted him enough to give him the gun, but I had no choice. Trying to seem like I wasn't affected by his request, I placed the revolver in his outstretched hand.

"See you," I said, eyes flickering away from his face. I was almost completely sure that I would never see him again. Suddenly, the weight of the situation hit me like a truck, and I inhaled deeply. I might never see him again.

He nodded, his dark eyes that followed my movements echoing the hesitation and doubt in his thoughts. He looked like he was struggling to speak, but gave up, pressing his lips together.

I glanced at him, thoughts jumbled up inside my brain, and turned away.

Scarcely had I taken a few steps when he called out, stumbling forward and gripping my shoulder. "Wait!"

Even before I could turn around properly, his warm hands were cupping my cheeks, tilting my face towards his as he leaned in. His hot mouth pressed against mine in a deep kiss, out lips slanting together. My eyes fluttered shut, and I leaned into him, the blood in my veins singing, heart reaching towards him as if trying to connect us.

His kiss was short but hungry, a sort of desperation in them that mirrored my thoughts exactly. A moment later, he pulled away, his eyes searching mine, drowning in pain and passion and pleading.

"I love you," he whispered, our foreheads almost touching. You don't have to say anything, his eyes said. I just wanted you to know.

I wanted to say something, I really did. But it felt like my lips had been glued together, a block of ice stuck in my throat and chest, rendering me unable to speak. I nodded, not breaking eye contact.

Hesitating still, he released my face, stepping backwards a few steps. Taeyong looked at me, then at my lips, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed, chest heaving.

Say something, my mind screamed, but my body didn't obey it.

I turned before he did, giving up on my thoughts, letting my legs carry me along my path. The path that I was confined to. The path that didn't offer me any escape, letting my hunters know the scent of my trail.

And I couldn't help but feel that the race had only just begun.

──────

YES THERE'S A SEQUEL, IT'S CALLED HUNT AND IT'S ON MY PROFILE GO CHECK IT OUT

w o a h

i can't even begin to describe my emotions while writing this chapter. this book has been one of my favorites to write so far, if not the most—it was so much fun. i hope you guys had just as much fun reading it <3 though i admit the theories must have been a headache lol

Rush has gained a lot as a book despite being a multifandom fic, which isn't the most common find. i'm so glad i inspired a lot of you to stan some more talented groups through this, and of course, some of you even went ahead and published that multi book! best of luck with those, guys, i hope we can achieve multifandom peace one day.

next up: the epilogue !! don't leave after that, though, since i'll be doing solo chapters for the main characters after that. and then...well i can't tell you but i guess it's kind of obvious.

thank you so much for trusting me throughout this rollercoaster of a book <3

love,
Manx.