❝it's not who i am underneath, but what i do that defines me.❞

-bruce wayne, batman begins

♛

CALEB'S EARS HAVE BEEN ringing nonstop ever since the explosion, and honestly, he's gotten pretty sick of it. He keeps trying to make it stop by subconsciously shrugging his shoulder to his ear. There is something particularly annoying about it that makes his journey back to Arkadia even worse than it already is. That, and the fact that he can still smell the scent of fire on his clothes as well as his own burning flesh.

He knew there was something...off about the mountain. He couldn't quite place it, but he constantly felt like someone was following him wherever he went there. Like ghosts were trailing his every move. He had been jittery there. So, when his senses blared at him to go find Raven and Sinclair, he immediately obeyed them.

And just in time, too. Because as soon as Caleb's foot touched the grass, an explosion had blown him at least thirty feet back into the surrounding forest. Dirt had dusted his bare skin. He laid there for a minute, breathing shallowly without knowing why. But then the instant had passed and suddenly the agony was swallowing him whole. A terrible cry of pain escaped him. The right side of his neck was burning, sizzling, in a manner that he could hardly bear. It traveled down to the middle of his chest and promptly stopped. It was worse than any pain he'd ever felt, drowning him in the anguish that set his nerves aflame.

He passed out from it.

Now, on the second day, Caleb supposes it's a little more bearable. Don't get him wrong - the burns still hurt like a mother - but he's now almost used to it and can continue on with minimal grunts of pain.

If he didn't have a photographic memory, he would never have known where to go. Caleb cannot understand how he managed to hide his intelligence from people for seventeen years. Nobody had believed him when he was confident in becoming a Zero-G Mechanic. But he had passed his test with flying colors. And he changed. All because of Fallon Rivers, who had woken him up from his assholish ways.

He wonders if he'll ever get a chance to really thank her for that.

Caleb trudges on. The air is still yet cool, even more so on the places where the blast had singed holes into his shirt. The jacket had saved him- if he hadn't been wearing it, more of him would have suffered. His stomach growls and he wonders if he'll even be able to find another rabbit to kill. He doesn't have any weapons with him except scrap metal that he somehow constructed into a poorly-made spear. All it took was a little twine to tie it to a stick, and boom. A rabbit-killing device. May the bunnies fear Caleb Jones.

It seems like a miracle that he hasn't run into any Grounders yet. Maybe God decided, "Hey, you've had enough suffering for now, I'll let you figure out your problems for a bit." He honestly doesn't know what he would do if he did run into some Grounders. He doesn't have anything to defend himself except the dumb spear that can barely kill rabbits.

Grounders had blown up the mountain. They killed everyone inside, all of those men and women and children who would never see the light of day again. He feels guilty for being able to walk away when they didn't. Maybe he should have died with them.

After all, a world without Raven Reyes is not one he wants to live in.

He doesn't know if she made it out like he did or not, or if Sinclair did. Gina. Who else perished? Caleb shakes his head to ward off the daunting thought. He doesn't want to think about it, not when he still has to gather the wits to make it back to Arkadia.

Somewhere in the middle of the second day, he stumbles across a river. A pile of rocks is at the end of it, the crystal-clear water lapping gently against it. Caleb decides here is a good place to rest. He climbs up the pile, situating himself on one of the flat stones and taking this time to give his body the recovery it so desperately needs.

It's times like this when he can truly embrace the sheer beauty of Earth. Most of the time, he's been running from foes or busy fighting for his life to have many chances of appreciating it. The air is much fresher than the oxygen on the Ark, filling his lungs as he breathes deeply in. The colors are more vibrant than he could ever imagine. And here he is, sitting by a river. It had always been his dream to float in the water.

Mom, if only you could have seen this, he thinks with his eyes toward the cloudless sky.

Caleb's mother had died when he was young due to an incurable illness. He remembers Abby Griffin's profuse apologies after she told him his mom couldn't be saved, that she'd have to live her last month in constant anguish. He slept by her side every night as her fingers combed through his jet-black hair. And one day, he woke up and she didn't.

Caleb's dad had tried to stay put together for both of their sakes. Though sometimes he'd hear his dad mumbling to himself about how much he missed Arabelle Jones, the warmth that came in every smile and joy in her seafoam green eyes. Those same color eyes that Caleb had. So the younger boy hardened himself, believing that if he didn't allow himself to care about anyone else, he wouldn't have to feel that type of pain again. He wouldn't have another void inside of him that could never be filled.

But he met Fallon, and she had also lost a parent but was still sweet and good. Caleb knew he didn't deserve her, and yet he found himself caring about her. So he stupidly became an impenetrable steel, barring himself from his feelings. He became so blind in doing so he didn't realize the damage he was causing. So when Fallon called it off, he supposed he deserved that, too.

It still hurt, though, and that was when he had realized that no matter how stoic he became, there would always be pain. The human capability to love was far stronger than any force imaginable.

His life had changed drastically from the moment he'd stepped foot on the ground with Bryan. Although the two of them had become good friends, the younger boy was still no replacement for his father, who had gone missing. He'd hoped Fallon or Kane or someone would inform him that Eli Jones was safe at Arkadia and was anxiously awaiting his son's return, but he'd had no such luck. His father is presumed to be dead. 

Raven had been the only family he'd had left.

This is where Caleb decides to clean the dirt from his burns. Climbing down to the rock closest to the water, he removes his shoes, socks, and shirt. A cringe twists his face when he sees the festering wounds that travel from his neck to the middle of his abdomen. This is gonna hurt like a bitch.

Slowly, he eases himself in the freezing cold water. It's not bad at all until he reaches the wound. The pain is sizzling, nerves feeling like they're being fried all over again. A cry of anguish escapes him before he clenches his teeth together to prevent drawing attention to himself. Shallow pants push his chest in and out while he forces himself to stand.

Luckily, the water reaches his mid-chest and isn't too deep. If it had been, he probably would have drowned. Nobody on the Ark knows how to swim. If anyone wanted to wipe the Sky People out, all they'd have to do is throw them in the middle of a lake and they'd all be goners.

Caleb can barely stand in there for more than three minutes. After then, he pulls himself out using the rocks and sits down with his feet still dipped in. He's now dripping wet, shivering, and he really should have thought to take his pants off, because now they're soaked as well. Dammit.

He looks down and discovers with dismay that there are still minuscule grains of dirt visible in the burns. Stifling a groan, he starts to shrug on the rest of his clothes. The last thing he wants to do is catch hypothermia or something. It would be just his luck.

He can't be far from Arkadia now. The trail is becoming more familiar, which is good for him, because his shirt is starting to stick to the marred flesh beneath it, and he isn't sure how much longer he can go on. Lack of proper meals and enough water has left him feeling more exhausted than he's ever been.

And then he sees it. Alpha Station in all its half-destroyed glory, like sunlight at the end of a tunnel. Joy inflates him as if he were a balloon. He made it.

It's almost too much for him to bear. As if his body can't handle it anymore, he drops to his knees and finds himself unable to stand again. All of his limbs feel like dead weights.

"Identify yourself!" A male voice demands. Caleb blinks and discovers an adult guard inching toward him, automatic rifle aimed at the boy.

"Ca....Cale--"

"It's Caleb Jones, Mecha Station!" Monty Green answers for him with shock in his tone. And then his slightly blurred figure runs toward him, and Caleb realizes that he's going to pass out soon.

Monty heaves him onto his feet, wobbling like there's no tomorrow. One of the other guards stationed at the gate rushes to assist them. With each of Caleb's arms over their shoulders, they manage to carry him through the gate.

"Call Abby Griffin," an unfamiliar voice commands to someone.

"And Fallon Rivers!" Monty adds. There's still panic in his tone.

"Raven...Reyes," Caleb barely manages to croak out, hoping to all the forces above that she's here, alive.

"Okay, okay," Monty coaxes gently. "We'll get them. Help is coming."

He closes his eyes in relief. Raven made it.

"I think I can stand on my own."

Monty releases him, as does the other guard. Caleb's legs immediately give out and he crashes to the ground.

"No, I can't."

He's vaguely aware of Monty kneeling beside him, trying to encourage him to maybe not have his face in the dirt, but he can barely understand him. He's fighting the blackness around his vision desperately.

"Fallon, come here!" Monty shouts frantically. "He's hurt."

Fallon's here. How had she reacted when she thought he was dead?

"What-" she starts to ask, but Monty cuts her off.

"He's alive. Just in a hell of a lot of pain."

A tap on Caleb's shoulder. It takes every ounce of strength left in his exhausted body to lift his head up, struggling to put his elbows beneath him. Even the slightest shifting of his shirt sends a fresh wave of fire to his skin. The concerned face of Fallon Rivers is severely warped by the overwhelming desire to pass out.

He manages a dumb half-grin. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

The desire overtakes him, and he greets the darkness like an old friend.

-----

SURPRISE here's more of my cactus son whether you like him after the last chapter or not

what are your honest thoughts on caleb? about his backstory?

i'm half-finished with the actual next chapter, so it should be up soon!

-kristyn