❝i held an atlas in my lap, ran my fingers across the whole world and whispered, 'where does it hurt?' it answered, 'everywhere. everywhere. everywhere.'❞

-warson shire, author

♛

KANE, SINCLAIR, AND LINCOLN have been sentenced to death.

After I had been released from lockup, Sinclair and Lincoln had staged a beating in order to distract the guards. Then, as soon as the gate was unlocked, all hell broke loose. The other members of Kane's team — Miller and Harper included — attempted to break them out of prison. Kane then kidnapped Pike, bound him up, and set off to hand him to the Grounders in one of the Rovers. The only person in his way was Bellamy. I assume that if it had been anyone else, he'd have run straight through them.

I could see the fear in Bellamy's eyes when he came to me, begging to speak with me in private. Jasper begrudgingly allowed me to go, muttering that he'd help Raven himself.

I could sense the apprehension on his face as he spilled everything— how he wasn't thinking about the consequences for Kane and the others, that he didn't think Pike would give them such a harsh sentence, and that his only thought at the moment had been preventing another death like Gustus'. How nobody would be there to save Pike from a death of a thousand cuts this time. How the Grounders wouldn't risk another Finn. They still believed in jus drein jus daun.

Blood must have blood. By whatever means necessary.

"You sure this is the right one?" Bellamy questions for the third time, nerves lacing his voice.

"Yes, Bell," I respond again. "I slept here. I think I'd know which room is M— Harper's."

I cut myself off, so used to saying Monroe's name first, and Bellamy and Monty both pretend not to notice. Just like I pretend not to notice the flashes of loss in both of their eyes.

Bellamy and Monty had lied to Hannah in order to protect Miller and Harper. When she'd asked if they knew anyone else in Kane's side, they'd declined. Maybe they've finally begun to realize that Hannah's methods — death at every turn — aren't going to get us anywhere worthwhile.

Bellamy raps his knuckles hurriedly against the door. When there's a tense silence, I wait with baited breath. Please, please, please—

The door opens with a creak, barely exposing Bellamy's face. I can't see Miller's expression, but I hear the disdain in his voice when he quietly asks, "What do you want?"

Bellamy doesn't say a word and instead gestures that he wants to come inside. When Miller begrudgingly steps aside and allows the three of us in, Harper doesn't stop her sigh of distaste at the sight of Monty.

"What, so you're on—"

Bellamy shushes Miller with a finger pressed to his lips. The next moment, he unsheaths the dagger at his hip, causing Miller to instinctively put a hand on his gun and Harper to jump back.

Bellamy immediately raises his arms in surrender. "Hey."

But his former best friend simply continues to eye him with distrust, so he hands the knife to me and nods. I accept it wordlessly and approach Miller with slight caution. Although his hand strays from his weapon, he still holds wariness in his gaze. It follows me like a hawk, tracing my every movement.

He even stiffens when I put a hand to one of the sewn-in embellishments on his guard uniform, holding it steady as I begin to cut through the thin material on the side. His confusion is palpable and makes my heart ache. One visit with Bellamy and Monty is all it takes for trust to bend.

I pass Bellamy's dagger back to him and dig into the newly-formed pocket in Miller's uniform until my fingers close around a tiny object. Then, I pull it out and hold it eye-level to him so he can see what it is. A tiny, circular bug. He sighs and ducks his head down. Harper chuckles sarcastically, dropping her own guard.

I hand the device to Monty, who wraps it securely in a small pocket of material. "The bag blocks the signal. Now we can talk."

Miller points to the place it had been. "Who put it in there?"

He should know— Bryan, who had used a moment of vulnerability to his advantage. Nobody else could easily get so close to Miller and be able to slip it in without him noticing.

"That's not important right now," Bellamy replies, deciding that it's not his business to get between their relationship.

"Are you on their side, now, Fallon?" Harper asks with her lips pressed into a thin line, head tilted accusingly.

I look at both her and Miller while I respond, "I was never on a side to begin with. But we wouldn't be here if it wasn't important, obviously, so I'll cut to the chase— Lincoln, Sinclair, and Kane all have a death sentence via Pike."

The two delinquents sigh in unison and stare at us disbelievingly. Bellamy had asked me to tag along, not only because I want to save all three of them, but because he thought Miller and Harper would trust me. Apparently it's wavering.

"Listen, we aren't here to start anything," Monty promises. "We're here to help. I'm sure you have a plan to break them out. What can we do?"

Harper gives him an incredulous expression. "What are you talking about?"

Monty squints his eyes at her in slight annoyance. "Harper, come on."

"Look, Monty and I can help from the inside to pull this off," Bellamy adds calmly. "We need people to hand them off to on the outside."

"We seriously don't know what you're talking about," Miller says firmly.

"Does it matter?" I question, wondering if they think this is all a joke. Some sort of manipulation. A plan to get them captured. "They're going to die and we can help them. Isn't that enough?"

"You know what?" Bellamy says impatiently. "Forget it. If my sister wants to save Lincoln's life, you tell her to meet me at the dropship in an hour."

And, without another word, he stalks out of the room.

Monty reaches out feebly in his direction. "Bellamy—"

The door slams shut. The mood instantly shifts with the newfound realization that they really don't believe us.

"After everything we've been through," Monty says to them, switching his gaze from Harper's crosses arms to Miller's scowl, "you don't trust me?"

Harper's response is level, but the ice behind it stings even me. "Does your mom know you're here, Monty?"

Biting my lower lip in worry, I grasp Monty's hand and gently pull him out of the room. Our only hope is that Miller will get the word out to Octavia. And then, maybe, we have a shot at this. Because an hour wasted would be another nail in their coffins.

—

The door buzzes, causing me to turn around at the sudden noise. A guard shoves a restrained Lincoln into the room. "You have five minutes."

I wait until the door is closed again to speak. "Why didn't you tell me about the plan?"

"I didn't know if it would go into effect until Sinclair came," he replies honestly, eyes slightly swimming with confusion as to why I'm here. "And I didn't know if you would have helped, anyway."

I press my lips into a line. I don't know, either.

"Listen," I decide to say, dropping my voice to an urgent mutter. "We have a plan, okay? Bellamy is meeting with Octavia— we're going to hand you off to him so you can escape. Sinclair and Kane, too." When he doesn't respond, I assert, "Nobody is dying tonight."

"Em ste ai zodon," Lincoln says firmly. His eyes aren't on me. Rather, they're trained to the floor between us.

"Stop that," I command with more harshness in my tone than I intend. I pause, inhale deeply, and speak again when I'm calmer. "We're doing everything we can."

The Grounder's line of sight is still planted on the floor. I cross the space remaining until I'm a foot away from him, though his eyes still refuse to look at me.

"It's an unspoken agreement. I cleaned the berry juice off your face, you softened your gaze when Finn brought us to the bridge to meet with Anya. You brought Bellamy and I to Mount Weather, even succumbing back to the very thing you hate most to do it. I helped train you in our customs. You taught me how to throw knives. An unspoken promise to protect each other, to learn from each other. And I'm still upholding my end of it. Dammit, Lincoln, I can't even call you Ticha anymore. I think the word I've been thinking is Lukot. Friend."

His steady gaze finally rips upward to meet mine. I can't place an emotion in them, years' worth of learning to stuff them down in my way of judgment, but I can't stop the tears that bloom in mine when he speaks.

"Lukot," he repeats as if testing the word. "Ai laik yun lukot, Falon kom Skaikru."

"An ai laik yun."

The guard returns and wordlessly removes Lincoln from the room, but there isn't anything more to be said between us.

If only Bellamy and Octavia would hurry up.

—

"Green, do you copy?"

Miller's voice comes out of the radio at my hip. I swiftly turn into an empty corridor and pluck it from its holster, pressing the button on the side to assure the connection.

"Affirmative," I reply in a low voice. "C is getting the wires." Then, I emerge from the corridor and stare at the mechanic impatiently. "Can you hurry up?"

"Sorry, these things are hot," Caleb says through gritted teeth. The wall panel is open, hundreds of multicolored wires crossing through the now-open space. It would make anyone else's head spin. But he's one of the best mechanics the Ark has had in 50 years; he knows his shit. "They're connected to the solar panels, so they're— never mind."

I twist my mouth at the memory of when Raven had told me the same thing when we were trying to save Finn from his stab wound. "Stay away from the blue wires that run through the ceiling. I rigged them to the solar panels on the roof. That means they're hot, you got that?"

"No," I say, "I actually know what you're talking about for once."

Because, now, Caleb is cutting straight through those blue wires without anything to protect his hands. He holds the pliers between his teeth and gives them one final tug. They break free from the wall in a shower of sparks, causing him to jump back and drop the tool from his mouth.

"Fuck," he hisses, yanking away one of the wires from his bare forearm, which is now sporting a new, sizzling burn from the circuit's broken end. "Well, that'll definitely fool them."

We don't waste any more time while we put the wall back, then take off toward the hallway where the prisoners are being kept. Bryan should be there. The only obstacle is whoever else is with him.

"This is so much more complicated than it needs to be," I say as we run briskly through the halls. "We should have just gone with the tranquilizers Abby was mentioning."

"Yeah," Caleb agrees with a grin, "but this is so much more fun."

Apparently throwing the cable at the other guy is Caleb's ingenious plan. While he stays ducked behind the corner, he hurls the open-ended wire at the man next to Bryan — Adams, I believe — and watches with glee as he gives a yelp once it scorches a hole through his clothes. Then, once he's distracted, Bryan hits him hard over the head with his gun. Adams crumples lifelessly to the ground.

"Nice going," Caleb praises to his friend as he approaches the now-unconscious guard. Quickly, he takes the blue wire by its rubber middle and taps it to the young man's neck and torso— not enough to scar him forever, but enough for it to appear like he'd been shocked into oblivion.

"I hope you're wearing layers," I say while Bryan begins to lay on the ground. "And I hope you're a good actor."

Bryan scoffs. "I always wear three layers."

I'm not sure if that was his half-assed attempt at a joke or not, but smile at him nonetheless. As soon as Caleb's done with Adams, he approaches Bryan and holds the sparking circuit at a safe distance.

"You ready, bud?" he asks. The guard nods, though there's fear in his honey-brown eyes. "If you weren't serious about those layers, this is going to hurt like a bitch."

I cover Bryan's mouth with my sleeve to muffle his occasional cries of pain as Caleb gently touches the wire to his clothing just enough to burn through the fabric, but not his actual skin. The few times he does go too far, though, are quickly avenged with a dozen apologies.

"All done," he says, tossing the wire to the side like a rag. "This is where your acting comes in. If Octavia's already in there, she should have dismantled the wall and gotten them hidden."

Since the marks on both Adams and Bryan will be obvious to some, the inside of the cell needs to look the part, too. Octavia's job is to dismantle one of the wall panels with Sinclair, and cut the appropriate wire to make it appear like they escaped. But, in reality, she'll have them obscured beneath the floor just like she had done for so many years.

Indistinct chatter from down the hallway causes my heart to leap in my chest. Caleb pats Bryan's cheek encouragingly before taking off down the opposite way, pulling me along with him. I pray his loud, clunky footsteps will be masked with those of Pike's team.

The two of us wait inside of a storage closet just around the corner. I attempt to quiet my heavy breaths, but they come out of my mouth in rapid pants that I can't slow. Adrenaline courses through my veins and weighs them down. Instead of stabling my hands, like it does to some, I find them shaking more than usual.

After a moment, our breathing starts to slow down, but the rapid thumping of my heart doesn't. I can feel blood rushing in my ears. My hands curl into fists at my sides, fighting to stay relaxed.

More footfalls is the opposite direction. They're leaving— and they've fallen for illusion.

"I'm literally coming out of the closet," Caleb whispers as he whisks the door to the storage room open. I roll my eyes and hurry ahead of him.

"Have you been waiting that entire time to say that?"

"Yes. Six years too late, but still."

Miller and Abby rush toward Bryan and Adams, respectively. The Doctor's medical instincts kick in as she presses her fingers to the boy's neck and checks for a pulse.

"Don't worry," Caleb says, "I didn't kill him."

Miller shakes his boyfriend, who opens his eyes and gives him a chuckle. They both grin at each other. I feel happiness fill my chest, glad that they were able to overcome their disagreements.

Abby is the first to head into the open dorm room. I follow, watching as she immediately rushes toward Kane. Since Octavia is with Lincoln and I assume that Caleb will want to speak with Sinclair, I stand by awkwardly.

"I told you not to do this," Kane tells Abby as she begins loosening his restraints.

"Why would I start listening to you now?"

Caleb copies her actions in freeing Sinclair, who nods at the chunk of missing panel in the wall and the ripped cables. "Solar cables. Clever, but dangerous. Don't do that."

Caleb only gives his fatherly figure a smile. I don't think he's planning on listening to those orders anytime soon.

Octavia's radio beeps at her hip, signaling an incoming message. Harper's whispered voice fills the room. "Okay, S, come in."

She frowns at the radio before unlatching it. Lincoln notices her unease. "What is it?"

"This wasn't the plan," she replies in a confused tone. "We used their frequencies so they could hear us." She lifts the microphone to her mouth. "Go ahead."

"Stay where you are," Harper's voice sounds frightened, setting me more on edge than I already am. "Repeat, stay where you are. The exit is not clear."

"How many guards?"

"Too many. I said, stay put."

Suddenly, after a beat of unsure silence, Monty's hurried voice comes over the radio. "Calling all guards. The prisoners are headed for the main gate. The prisoners are headed for the main gate. Over."

"That was Monty," Octavia announces in disbelief.

"Guess he's with us after all," Miller says dryly.

I shoot him a scowl. "I tried to tell you that."

"We need to move," Abby says, cutting into the tense moment. She follows Caleb out of the door. I trail after her, with Kane behind me. Miller is the last to leave.

Our small group heads through unmonitored halls, quickly and silently making our way toward where Harper is waiting for us. Once we approach her, she lifts the moving wall piece to reveal the secret door leading outside. It's the one Octavia came through, and I can only guess that Clarke passed through here during her brief visit as well.

"Go, go, go, come on," Kane urges as he waves all of us into the passageway. In some way, it reminds me of our tunnels back at the dropship camp.

"Attention all citizens," a voice over the loudspeaker says, chilling my blood to ice. "Emergency lockdown is in effect. Return to your quarters immediately."

Kane pushes me in next, and I follow Harper through the mass of cables on either side of me. The walls are narrow but just wide enough to ensure that all of us can make it out without getting burned. I can sense Caleb's hesitance to leave, knowing who he's leaving behind. But even so, he pushes on.

We make it into the overgrowth behind the camp, where Octavia's horse is waiting for us in the slight drizzle of rain. And nobody else.

I whirl around to face Kane behind me. "Where's Bell—"

But the question falls short on my lips once I see who he's carrying: Octavia, unconscious in his arms, her head dangling uncomfortably to the side and legs slack. My voice falters. There's nobody following after him.

I swallow thickly, struggling through the growing lump there. "Kane?"

He ignores me, brushing past me and successfully laying Octavia stomach-down onto her horse. I'd heard some of Abby's denial to come with us, but Lincoln...

"Come on, Fallon," Harper urges with a gentle touch to my elbow. But I just face her, eyebrows creased and an expression of betrayal on my face. No wonder I haven't heard from Bellamy— he's not here.

"Harper," I say shortly, but my body betrays my denial by allowing her to lead me away. My legs feel heavy the farther I walk from Arkadia. I can feel my head swimming with so many questions, so many regrets about leaving Jasper behind to deal with Raven himself. Pike doesn't know about my involvement in this. I should have stayed behind to watch over her—

But what's done is done. I cannot go back.

I trip over my own feet, suddenly clumsy in the wake of bushes and decaying tree stumps hidden beneath pieces of long grass. Guilt is filling me to the brim. I promised I promised I promised I promised.

Minutes later is when Octavia wakes. She lifts her head drunkenly with a slurred, "Lincoln?" before turning to look at the camp growing smaller. She hurls herself off of the animal and falls to the ground. Then, shakily, she crawls to the edge of the overgrowth and pushes herself to her feet.

I don't realize I'm already crying until Harper squeezes my arm more tightly. It's meant to be an act of comfort, but I find myself ripping out of her grasp and numbly staring at Octavia's figure meters away. And even as Kane steps forward to watch with her, I cannot move. My feet are suctioned into the mud beneath them like it's glue.

And even as the fatal gunshot rings through the air, I can't feel the tears rolling down my face. I can only feel the shards of the broken promise stabbing at my heart. An agreement lost to the wind.

I couldn't protect Lincoln from his own choice. But I still sense the guilt creeping up from inside of me, preparing to swallow me whole. The desiderium claws at my throat mercilessly, spilling more tears from my eyes.

All of this, and I have yet to explode. But the bomb has been ticking for a long time, and I can sense that it's dangerously close to zero.

——-

@ y'all i'm seriously crying right now so sorry if the end makes zero sense. it was hard to write through my tears.

warning: the next chapter is really angsty and angry and there's a bit of violence. a certain brotp goes up in flames forever. lots of tears. it's a fun time.

shoutout to lincoln for being the realest og ever, and i love n miss you every day

also: poor fallon doesn't realize that hannah does know about her involvement because she recognized her voice and caleb's codename over the radio. so now she's a fugitive lol!!!

-kristyn

TRANSLATIONS:

Em ste ai zodon: It is my fate

Ai laik yun lukot, Falon kom Skaikru: I am your friend, Fallon of the Sky People

An ai laik yun: And I am yours