When I heard about this commission opportunity, I thought it was the best thing to ever happen to me. A fucking dream come true. I could pretty much paint whatever I wanted; which was usually landscapes with my own personal take on it. Kind of a the-way-I-see-it type thing. I entered my portfolio with paintings I did after visiting different cities, and Jean-Luc picked me. Out of over two hundred applicants, I was the one chosen.

The best part of the deal was that Jean-Luc was going to be my investor and would help me get a foothold to be a real painter. Art show included and everything. 

My parents lived in a totally different state than I did. No siblings. No girlfriend. There wasn't a single thing tying me down to New York. I felt nothing except excitement and anticipation as I counted down the days until I could board that plane. 

Of course, everything changed the day I decided to get coffee from a cafe instead of making it at home. I couldn't help it, though. Waiting and waiting for the day I was going to leave for Paris had me going a little stir crazy and I needed to get some air. Then, well...the rest was pretty straight forward. 

A muse was something I never needed when it came to painting. I always felt lucky that inspiration just seemed to come to me. That all changed when I met Jamie Lovette.

Maybe it was the fact that I was worried about her. Especially after that damn phone call from Harper. Or perhaps it was because she just did something to me. Ever since we met, she just did something to me. I've had my fair share of relationships—two of them serious—and none of them compared to what I was feeling now. Which sounded ridiculous because Jamie and I weren't in a relationship. We weren't even talking. 

Or on the same damn continent. As far as I knew, anyway. God, where was she? Who was she with? Was she okay? All questions I doubted I was going to get the answers to. Which only stressed me out more. 

Frustrated, I looked away from the blank canvas I'd been staring at for the past two hours. I just...wasn't feeling it. That seemed to be the theme song of day, didn't it? 

Hoping coffee would cheer me up, I walked over to my kitchen and started brewing a fresh pot. While I waited, I grabbed all the essentials to feed my caffeine addiction. Creamer, sugar, and a splash of hazelnut. 

As I waited impatiently for the coffee to finish, I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. This was all a mess. The art show was going to be here before I knew it, and I didn't have enough pieces finished. What if I wasn't able to get them done? Was I going to be fired and sent back to the states? 

The loud sound of the buzzer at the front door put a stop to my thought train and my eyes snapped to the clock on the wall. 

Shit. It was just after two in the afternoon. That meant the first applicant who wanted to rent the loft was here. Great, just fucking great. I so wasn't feeling this right now. But I didn't have any other choice. I gave my word to Jean-Luc that I would have the space rented out. 

Pushing off the counter, I left my coffee to brew and headed for the large pair of double doors. Hopefully this went buy quickly so I could get back to...what, exactly? Not working? Staring at a canvas while my brain kept replaying everything that happened between Jamie and I at Harper's wedding?

Now that I thoroughly pissed myself off, I pulled the door open to greet the applicant. He was an American, early twenties, with dark hair and dressed like a surfer. He stood out like a sore thumb here in Paris. 

"You Ollie?"

Nodding, I extended my hand. "Yeah. You must be Alex."

"That's what it says on my driver's license," he said with a laugh while shaking my hand.

I already knew this guy wasn't getting the apartment. And it wasn't because of how he looked or the horribly bad joke that he told. The reason he wasn't getting the apartment was because when he filled out his application, he out UNEMPLOYEED as his source of income. 

Yeah, that wasn't going to fly. But he begged to come see the place, so I made the appointment. Besides, I only had two other people interested and my boss was so determined to have it rented that I almost wanted to approve this guy. 

"So you said it's a loft," Alex said suddenly as I shut the door. "What exactly is a loft? Like...how is it different than an apartment?"

Like I said...almost.

***

"So no luck finding a roommate? Is your boss going to be mad?"

With an annoyed sigh, I took another bite of the dessert I bought from La Rose De Baguette. My mom called me thirty minutes ago and has been talking my ear off. "No, mom. No luck. And they wouldn't be a roommate."

Technically, they would be. But I refused to call them that. All through college and after, I was lucky enough that I never had or needed a roommate. So no way in hell was I going to start having one now. 

Not by choice anyway. 

"Keep telling yourself that, Atticus," my mom chuckled. Hearing that sound again paired with her calling me by my first name warmed my heart and made me feel a little homesick.

My parents were born and raised in Chicago. My mom was a writer of mystery novels and my dad was an English Lit professor at Northwestern University.

Hence the ridiculous first name. And one of the things I uniquely had in common with Jamie.

Since my dad was a professor, I got to attend college for free and pursue my degree in visual arts. Even though I stayed home through school, I still had a full-time job so I could save up money. My goal was to move out when I graduated and do my own thing. Independence was important to me. Still was.

 When I heard a loud whistling sound through the phone, I smiled. "Tea time?"

"Of course. I need my Earl Grey, you know that." 

I eyed the pastry on my plate. I understood addictions probably more than she did. "I totally understand what you mean." 

Simone came by earlier today to check on me and my 'mental block' when it came to my painting...and also the growing number of pastry boxes outside.

No matter how many times she tried to get information out of me regarding 'the girl from New York', I didn't budge. I just wasn't comfortable talking about it. Voicing it to someone else made the hard truth much more real. 

And I also haven't heard a word from Harper ever since the phone call. Haven't heard anything about anything. Jamie was out there somewhere, hurting and probably crawling into that dark and twisty part of herself when things got tough.

On the night of Harper's wedding, Jamie actually confided in me a little about the rough parts of her life. I couldn't have been more shocked if she had told me she was secretly a guy.

I've been trying to get to know Jamie Lovette those days leading up to the wedding. Before that night, she was a closed book. Not just a closed book...she was a closed book that was wrapped in chains and had a padlock on it.

Somehow—probably after the many drinks she had—I managed to figure out the combination, spring the lock, and get a peek at the first couple chapters of her life.

Ever since then, I couldn't get rid of the urge to finish reading the book of her life.

"Atticus? Did you hear me?"

Shit. Totally forgot I was on the damn phone. Can you say scatter-brained? "Sorry, mom. What did you say?"

"Why are you so distracted? Your father and I are worried about you. Do we need to fly over there to check on you?"

That at least got a chuckle out of me. "I'm fine, mom. Really. Just...been a long few days with this hole trying-to-find-a-roommate thing."

"I thought you said they weren't going to be a roommate."  

"They aren't."

When my mom sighed through the phone, I knew she had a smile on her face and was shaking her head. "Oh, Atticus. One of these days I'm going to figure out what's got you so wound up." Brief silence. "Oh, your dad's calling. I told him to call me on his way home. Talk tomorrow?"

"Sure, mom. Tell him I said hi and I love him."

After I hung up with my mom, I laid back on my bed, closed my eyes, and exhaled a deep breath. I tried to keep my mind blank. Tried not to think of anything. But it didn't work. Sure, I fell asleep pretty quick.

But I still dreamt of a beautiful redhead with blue eyes and a smile that I would die to see again. 

***

Hey amazing readers. I know I've been super behind with this story and Heartstrings. I've been dealing with a lot of medical stuff (bloodwork, tests, blah, blah, blah...) and also still working on top of it. Definitely has me SUPER exhausted. Literally falling asleep in front of my computer. But I promise I'm doing my best to get my stories back on track. 

Oh! Also, Happy Pride! As a little treat I'm going to re-release (and hopefully finish) my LGBTQ novella titled Spin the Bottle! Some of you may have read some of it back in 2020. The first chapter will be up in a few days!

Thanks again. 

xoxo