The word excitement needed to be changed to something else. Something...more. The art show was tomorrow, and what I was feeling right now was way more than excitement.

Getting up from the bed that I haven't been using lately, I walked over to the small closet where I was hiding my dress. I ran my hands over the soft satiny material. I really hoped he was going to like it. More importantly, I was praying that his art show was going to be a success.

It was impossible for anybody in his position to not be nervous. He tried to play it off, but I knew deep down that he was most likely pants-shitting terrified. How could he not be? He was going to be in a room where people were going to come for the sole purpose of looking at his work and judging his skills as a painter. I was happy that I was going to be able to be there for him. Whether or not it was a good outcome or a bad one, I owed him.

I owed him everything. If I hadn't come to Paris and found Ollie, god knows where I would be right now or what kind of condition I would be in. It's crazy how things work out sometimes. It makes you question if destiny and fate actually existed in the world.

Stepping away from the dress, I walked back over to the unused bed and stared at my cell phone. I was home alone right now. After making love to me twice this morning, Ollie gave me a deep kiss before letting me know that he had to take care of some errands for the show.

When I finally emerged from our bed and got some caffeine and sugar into my system, I kept thinking about them. Harper and Jackson. Danielle and Ryan. Nathan and Karma. Lanie and Ayden.

My family.

Ever since the other night when I opened up to Ollie, I couldn't help but start to feel guilty about the mess I left back in New York. I knew they were worried about me. And after all of the losses we have all faced it made me feel like a bigger piece of shit.

The one silver lining was that Ollie spoke to a few of them, mainly Harper, and told them that I was all right. Just another thing that I owed that man for. There had to be something besides going to the art show that I could do for him. I just needed to think about it.

Glancing at my phone again, I sighed before finally reaching for it. I didn't bother sitting on the bed while I made this call because I was just going to end up pacing anyway. So I scrolled through the phone until I saw the name I was looking for.

Then I hit send.

It was probably just before noon in New York, so she should be able to—

"Jamie? Hello?"

Tears rushed to my eyes at the sound of her voice, and there was no holding them back. "Harp?"

There was a rustling on the other end of the line. I could hear Harper telling someone that it was me on the phone. Then I heard another familiar voice. One with a thick British accent.

"Is it really her on the phone? Bloody hell. Is she alright? Let me talk to her."

"Jamie?" Harper's tone was soft but concerned. "It's just me and Jackson here. I'm putting you on speaker." Not a moment later I heard both of them clearly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Harper. I'm...good."

Jackson didn't sound convinced. "You don't sound fine, Jamie. Did Ollie do something? Because I will get on a plane right bloody now and come over there to kick his painter ass."

I couldn't help but smile at the threat. He was a big brother to all of us. So protective and loving. "God, Jackson. I really missed you." Overcome with emotion, it took me a moment before I could continue. "No, he didn't do anything wrong at all. And I really am okay. I just really miss you guys."

Harper's voice was full of emotion just like mine. "We miss you so much. I can't believe you called."

Pacing around the room, I exhaled a heavy sigh. "Yeah, I know. I should have called sooner. I really didn't intend to make you guys worry about me so much and everything. Honestly, after...it happened I just needed to get away. I wasn't really thinking, I guess."

Even though Jackson's voice was strong, I could hear that tone that was impossible to hide. The one that belonged to the people who were in The Lost Mom Club. A club that no one wanted to fucking join but once you were in, you were in.

"Listen to me, Jamie. You don't have to apologize for a bloody goddamn thing. You hear me? No one understands what you're going through better than we do. You do whatever you need to to come back to us mentally and physically. However long it takes."

He was right. Not only was he right, but Jackson was probably the one who understood more than anyone. Yes, Karma lost her mom very unexpectedly, but like my mom, Jackson's mom had cancer. Even though that's not what took my mom away from me, he knew what it's like to have a sick parent.

"Thanks, guys," I said softly. "Really...thanks."

Harper cleared her throat. "So why are you calling? I mean, not that we aren't happy to hear from you of course. We just definitely weren't expecting it."

My pacing led me back to the bed and I attempted to take a seat and relax. The call was going well and I didn't want my anxiety to get the best of me.

"Yeah, I know. I'm honestly feeling better and I've had some time to think and I know you spoke to Ollie, but I wanted you to hear that I was okay from me. I felt bad for what I did and how I left, so I just wanted to, ya know, call you."

"We're glad you did," Harper replied. "Uh, not that there's any rush but did you know when you were coming back home?"

I barely caught myself before I corrected Harper by saying that I was home. Here with Ollie. That little revelation did scare me a bit, but it also felt right.

"I'm not sure," I answered honestly. "I kind of want to stay here longer.'

Both of them were silent for a moment. Then Jackson's laugh came barreling through the receiver.

"I knew it," he teased. "You and the painter have gotten quite cozy, haven't you, nymph?"

I inwardly cringed at the nickname Jackson first called me the morning after the wedding when Ollie stumbled out of my hotel room. "Jackson, please don't call me—"

"Admit it. I was right about you two, wasn't I?"

Jackson dropped more than one not so subtle hint to both Ollie and myself about how we seemed to belong together the days leading up to the wedding. Of course then I had that huge Do Not Love wall around my heart.

It was impenetrable. Strong and sturdy and ready to take on anything. At least, that's what I thought. Turned out Ollie was the exact wrecking ball it took to break it down and leave nothing but a pile of rubble in its wake.

I fidgeted with the corner of the blanket. "Ollie and I have been...spending time together."

"Sexy time," Jackson joked.

Harper tried and failed to hide her own amusement. "Jackson, that's none of our business!" There was a brief second of silence before she asked me, "I mean...did you, Jamie? You know...sleep with Ollie?"

Even though they couldn't see me, I felt my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Normally I would never talk about sex to any of my guy friends, but in this moment I couldn't keep the smile out of my voice that gave me away.

"Things have definitely progressed with us in that department."

I could hear Jackson clap his hands together the same time Haprer chuckled.

"I knew it!" He exclaimed through the phone. "That's why your nickname is—"

"Jackson Reese! Stop calling her that!"

I couldn't help but laugh at the two of them. And I was grateful Harper cut him off. I heard a click and knew she took me off speaker phone. Obviously she was going into a separate room for privacy. I could hear Jackson's voice fading in the background.

"From the moment I met the bloke and saw him fawning all over her I knew they would—"

The sound of a door closing told me Harper was probably now alone in their bedroom.

"Tell me details," she begged in a quiet voice. "How's the sex with Ollie?"

I fell back on the bed and smiled like a teenage girl who just got asked out to prom. "It's amazing, Harp. He's...amazing."

"How many times have you guys...ya know."

"Too many to count, actually."

I didn't have to see Harper to know her jaw dropped at the news. "Are you serious? That's great. I'm so happy for you. And he's kind? He seemed like a good guy when we first met."

"He is," I murmured, thinking about everything he's done for me. "He's very kind. And he makes me feel beautiful and...loved."

"So are you guys together together?"

That was the million dollar question, wasn't it? What the hell were Ollie and me?

"I have no idea, Harp." I swallowed the lump of emotion caught in my throat. "I have...no fucking idea what we are."