"O-oh shit," I whispered.

My fans caught on as well.

Shippingvaeden: ^^OUU YES!

Ashleypower: I SEE U JAEDEN 👀

Shit. Fuck. What do I do?

"So guys, I'll be doing a Q & A. You know that drill, comment below," I say giving my fans a small smile.

I see Jaeden comment more things.

Jaedenwesley: can we talk?

Jaedenwesley: Let's get a coffee because I want to catch up, I'm sorry

Jaedenwesley: I fucked up, I'm so fucking sorry.

Wyattoleff: ^^ Listen to him Nessa

What does he mean he fucked up?
A breeze of butterflies flew inside my stomach. Those butterflies that once died all together, came back.

God Jaeden, I miss you.

Jaedenwesley: I miss you too.

"Did I say that out loud?" I say embarrassed and hid my face.

Jaedenwesley: You're still the old Nessa I know. Reply to your DMS

"Jaeden, there's 234,123 people watching," I say. "Ugh, musershaderoom is going to post."

I sighed and ended the live shortly after.

What was I going to do?

I decided to DM Jaeden.

Jaedenwesley

Please talk to me Nessa...

Nessa, I'm so fucking sorry. I ruined you destroyed you. I was so fuckin stupid, please come back. Let me explain at least.

I should've listened to you...

God damnit it Nessa.

I miss you, I want to meet up again. We need to catch up.

Please forgive me.. Not now but someday..

Hey...

Nessa? You actually replied.

So.. Was this a bad idea?

No! NO! I just, I was surprised after all this time that's all.

I only check DMs to connect with my fans

Me too, only if I had enough time

So what was it that you wanted to meet up?

Yes, I tried to go to your house last night but you weren't there. Another woman was there and kicked me out.

Oh... yeah about that, I moved into another house next to Logan's

Logan? Isn't he your boyfriend at the moment?

You could say that :/

What's wrong?

Eh, nothinggg

I thought best friends told each other everything

I also thought that too Jaeden. I also thought that

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Nessa. And I know what you're going to say.

Jaedenwesley tying...

Sorry is just 1 word

Against a thousand actions.

Haha, you remembered?

I'll never forget you, or your truthful quotes you say.

Jaeden...

Oh please Nessa! Do you really think you are at your happiest right now?

Jaeden!

Mhm, because you're with Logan and that makes everything so much better!

Vanessa, did you ever think about those times where I was always there for you! When you had a bad day, and you were crying, you were depressed and couldn't get out of bed. Who was there for you?

Tell me Ness, who?

Someone who ended up backstabbing me in the end. That's who.

Nessa, don't be like that. I'm so fucking sorry. I should've done better, I should've chose you. Fuck, you never left my mind.

And you haven't left mines either, but trust me I'd rather have you on my mind than have to ever be treated the way you treated me in the end.

Vanessa Stewart, I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you. The trust that broke, everything. And I want to make it up to you someway, in any way. I promise you I will NEVER EVER do what I did again. I miss you, I've always missed you through these 6 months. I never forgot you and like I said, you never left my mind. I was reminiscing a lot. And I don't think you could ever be replaced or will ever leave my mind.

Well, I'm sorry Jaeden but.. Not going to lie these last 6 months have been spectacular with Logan. He treated me right, and he made me happy when you left.

Losing a best friend is probably one of the worst and painful things that could happen to a person because it rips out your heart and crumbles it up until you can't breathe or even have the strength to get out of bed.

It fucking hurts Jaeden.

It hurt like a bitch.

And you don't think I felt that exact same way? Being with that snake who I don't even want to see anymore, or even say her name... It was hell, I thought I loved her... But, I love you Vanessa. I love you Vanessa Stewart.

Please Jaeden, don't pull that best friend love on me.

I'm not! I promise you, I truly love you.. And not just like best friends, I love you more than that. I love you in a way that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can't live without you.

Then what are you doing right now Jaeden? 

What? 

What are you doing right now, breathing right? So why aren't you dead yet.

I'm already dying on the inside because of you. And I know you feel the same way. I was so stupid that I didn't pay attention to you when you confessed your feelings.

So what now Jaeden? You think I'm going to forgive you just like that? Listen Jaeden, I'm sorry that you finally saw what a monster Julissa is and I knew you would come running back to me because your heart is broken but I can't fix it! FIX IT YOURSELF!

I love you.

I hate you.

"Ugh!" I sighed and threw my phone on the bed. "Boys are so complicated!"

"Well, maybe if you let him explain it wouldn't be." My mom says opening the door to my room.

"What do you mean," I say.

"I mean that, if you let Jaeden explain maybe there's more to the story. I'm not saying what he did was right but at least he knows he did bad, I'm hoping he apologized?" Mom said sitting next to me.

"Mom, he did. He did apologize but he hurt me so much, how could I forgive him? He expects me to come back to him after his little heartbreak." I say.

"No matter how much a person hurts you, you're going to have to forgive them." My mom says pulling a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Why though? If they hurt you so much, you have to cut them out," I explain.

"Because if you don't learn to forgive, you're going to have hate in your heart forever. And when you die... You'll forever have that grudge in your life." My mom says and leaves my room.

--------
FIRST AUTHORS NOTE!! YAYYYY
Or not , y'all could just hate me haha.
Anyways what do you guys currently think about my book? I do have some drafts for the book and I'm editing it.
I really hope you guys like this book, I really appreciate your comments and feedback you guys give me.
Also what are your thoughts on what Jaeden did? Do you think Nessa should forgive or not forgive Jaeden?

- Amy