Taemia sat on Cress's bed and Cress sat on the floor, her back against the wall as she fiddled with a loose thread that had escaped its boundaries.

They had been like that for over an hour and both of them had gone through conversation starters in their minds but hadn't managed to find any courage to say them. 

What would Taemia say? 'Hey, I thought you were dead but turns out you are breathing. How did this miracle happen?' Not the best way to go. And Cress was debating over 'Our father is a coward, tried to have me killed and Zagan carried out his orders'.

Their thoughts were loud, rumbling in their minds making them tense but the only problem was that the thoughts refused to leave the confinements of the brain and so the awkward silence continued. 

Only when the sun began to shift behind the grey houses did Cress break the silence.

"You want some food?" She said and Taemia looked at her in confusion. Cress's eyes widened and she hurriedly changed the language.

"Do you want anything to eat?" She asked in Celysa feeling slightly strange. Was Hell her first language now?

The thought felt unnerving.

"Yeah." Taemia looked like she wanted to say something else but didn't, Cress wanted to hear something but couldn't.

So she left the suffocating room wondering how can she be so far from her sister even though she was just a few metres away.

Had she lost Taemia too?

***

Cress returned a while later carrying a jute bag filled with a few drinks, two wraps, shahi paneer, some roti and her favourite chocolate soufflè.

"The sun didn't stay for long," Taemia mumbled quietly, catching Cress with surprise.

Cress replied a few seconds later as she hauled the bag onto the small coffee desk and ignored her tensed shoulders.

"It never does here. In winters we are lucky to even glimpse the sun."

"I thought that was a myth," Taemia said looking at the dusky sky.

"I did too."

They both lapse back into silence. Cress stared out of the window looking at the dark buildings and the lights that had begun to light up. Now what?

Cress turned her head away and began to take out the food, placing them on the coffee table. The coffee table had four legs which were connected to two round circular pieces of wood, one of the top and one below. Cress used the beneath one to keep the cutlery.

She took out two plates and cups accompanied by a pair of spoon and fork and placed them on the table, in front of the chairs and then placed the wraps on the plates not bothering to take out the rest of the delicacies.

"Dinner is served," Cress said opening the can of the fizzy orange drinks.

"You can't serve dinner, it's evening." Taemia pointed out as she got up and began to walk towards the coffee table.

"Then supper is served," Cress said her lips curving to the smallest of smiles as she poured an almost equal amount of drinks into the two cups.

Taemia smiled and moved to sit in one of the chairs and Cress sat in the other. They ate their food quietly occasionally taking a small sip out of their cups. Cress yearned to break the silence, to erase this stiffness but the right words stayed at the back of her mind, not daring to come out.

Oh well, she would probably choke and die if she would talk during eating.

"You gave me less," Taemia said pointing to her cup as she peered inside Cress's cup.

"I did not. You just drank yours." Cress defended remembering how she had poured an almost equal amount. Almost being the keyword.

"Lies." Taemia scoffed moving to grab the can of the drink and pouring in a more than sufficient amount of drink into the cup.

Cress stayed quiet as the drink was poured, then she glanced discreetly into Taemia's cup and saw the level the drink had risen to. 

She moved her hand casually towards the can and grabbed it so she could pour some of it in hers.

"Don't you dare." There was a challenge in Taemia's eyes as she said this.

Cress smirked and popped the can open. "What are you going to do about it?" 

"Diana!" The name slipped from Taemia's tongue so that it could be heard by Cress.

She froze. Her thoughts whirled until all she could hear were voices calling out her name, her real name. It started with Taemia calling her with annoyance and love and slowly made its way to Zagan calling her name out with spite and rage.

Cress swallowed putting the can back down on the table and looked down at her food feeling too nauseous to eat. She awaited the tense silence to settle over them again but to her surprise, Taemia began to speak.

"I-I can't handle this anymore. I am going to acknowledge the poor elephant in the room and then you are going to give me the answers I want alright?" Her voice was wavering but her eyes were steady waiting for an acknowledgement.

Cress nodded her head. "If I can answer then I will, I swear."

Taemia looked at her and took a deep breath as if readying herself. Then she began.

"After you... disappeared, everything began to change. Commoners began to disappear from the boundaries of the kingdom, I tried to draw father and Zagan's-" Taemia was too caught up in past to notice Cress flinching at the name. "-attention to it but they didn't pay any heed to it. I tried my best I swear."

"Then it happened. Riots began to break out, the citizens were being killed. People began to migrate and we received a message." She took in a sharp breath. "It was a threat. The person asked us to stop worshipping Celeste and start worshipping him as our god. Father ignored him and called him a lunatic but then... then the fire was ignited. It burned the east of the castle-like it was nothing but paper."

"The castle?" Cress's voice was no more than a whisper.

"Traitors amongst us had smeared the walls with flammable liquids." Her voice was raw but yet she continued. "We were able to extinguish most of the fire and save the palace but.. but the fire didn't leave us unscarred."

Cress said nothing for she couldn't find her voice but gave Taemia a look to continue and she did.

"Father was in his study in the east wing when it happened and by the time we found him, his body was charred. He was alive but destroyed." Taemia began to sniffle. "You should see him, Diana. He is broken. He can't walk, he can't do anything. He can't see and... and..."

Then Taemia began to sob. She looked like her entire was crumbling down and maybe it was. When Taemia had realised that she had almost nothing in common with her mother, she had gone to her father in hopes of a friend and she hadn't been disappointed. Even though their father was orthodox and didn't believe that girl should be allowed to be placed at the same title as a guy, he still enjoyed talking battle strategies and the workings of a kingdom with her daughter.

Cress wasn't sure how to feel. On one hand, there was this man who had arranged her death but on the other, he was still and would always be her father. Someone who she had loved and maybe she still did. To imagine him so broken was beyond her thoughts. 

No. She could not be feeling any sort of sympathy. She should not be, he had tried to have her murdered for Celeste's sake. 

Cress sat there quietly as Taemia tried to stop sobbing. Cress had never been good at comforting people and Vilehelm had only helped in making her comforting skills worse.

"You know the worst part? He thought you had come back, he thought that you were me. I don't know if we sound the same but he thought so and... and when I said that you hadn't, he broke down." This time Taemia looked at Cress with something like happiness shining in her eyes.

"But you have, we can go back Diana. It will be like it was before." Taemia gave her a smile but Cress didn't see any of that.

Cress leapt back as if she had been stung. "No! No, I can't. I can never go back! This is my home now. I can never go back there!"

"Why not?" Taemia asked staring at the haunted look in her sister's eyes.

"I- Why are you here?" Cress asked instead as she tried to calm her heart down.

"I thought you were going to answer me," Taemia said narrowing her eyes.

"I am, I swear. I just... I just need a few minutes."

"Alright." Taemia looked like she wanted to say more but stopped herself. "After the fire, Zagan was made the temporary ruler so Adrian and Jesperson could learn more about the workings of the kingdom before they became rulers themselves but the kingdom was in a state of turmoil and we needed a stronger army, more resources, an alliance." Taemia reached for her drink as she felt her throat dry up. 

"And one was forged with Aerith and to tie this knot forever they decided to have a wedding." Her voice was hollow as she spoke the next few words. "And I became the bargaining chip."

Cress mind went blank as the words registered themselves in her brain. For a second all she could do was stare open-mouthed at Taemia, looking at her but not seeing her. She had known that it was common for marriage alliances to be forged but she had never expected this to happen to her sister.

She desperately wished that they were in Adeelah, a place where it was illegal to marry off a woman or a man in a marriage they didn't want to be bound to. Laws against ill-treatment of both men and women existed and the kingdom strongly believed in equal opportunities. But the bottom line was that they were not and they will never be. 

"How can they do that?!" She finally burst out. "Don't they realise that treating women like that is not okay?! It's terrible! Our goddess is a woman. The person who gave birth to those tyrants was a woman! Do you know the worst part? Most of the women agree with being oppressed! What are we doing Mia? We don't have any right to property, marriage or education. Heck! Educating a man is educating a man but educating a woman is educating a freaking generation!" 

Cress was breathing hard by the time she had completed her rage-filled rant and Taemia was looking at her with a wry smile.

"I refused but I was forced and it was then you found me." Her eyes find hers which are filled rage. "Don't worry, it's common. You know what they say, a woman without a man is-"

"Oh please, men can't survive without women. Literally." Cress interrupted and Taemia let out a surprised snort. 

"What?" She asked her eyes alight with humour.

Cress felt a grimace curving her lips down. "It's true. It isn't mandatory for a woman to have a man you know? I wish that they would just stop." 

"I do too," Taemia said with a small smile.

For a beat, all they were surrounded with was a comfortable silence that demanded to be broken and Cress felt happy. Not the I-want-to-dance-and-jump-happy, just happy. The calm and relaxed happy, the one where they didn't care if their lives were going straight to hell. 

Ignorance was truly bliss, alas, it was created to be fragmented.

"Your turn." 

Those two words were enough for Cress's throat to dry up, beads of sweat to start forming on her brow and her fingers to start fiddling with each other.

"I.. You heard the oracle. I could have helped against whatever you are facing or I could have turned into a traitor which frankly I don't see myself becoming. So, I was ordered to be murdered-" 

"Who? Who tried to have you murdered?!" Taemia interrupts and Cress looks at her and sees a dark purple flame dancing in her eyes.

The answer is on the tip of her tongue but Cress hesitates. Her father may be a monster for her but for Taemia he was still a father. Who was she to destroy that?

"It was Zagan."

Truth but not the complete one.

***

Cress was sitting on the kitchen slab, swinging her legs in the small gap that existed between her toes and the floor and thinking. Her thoughts were unanswered question doing nothing but causing panic.

Her nails had been bitten down and now looked jagged but she hadn't even noticed it. No response was generated until the man staring at her finally spoke.

"You look troubled." He said and found himself to be looking at Cress's infamous silver dagger in mere seconds.

Her unfocused eyes cleared as she recognized him and pulled back her dagger, sheathing it.

"Terry." Cress acknowledged and pulled herself back on the kitchen counter.

"Is that what you usually do to greet people?" Terry asked quirking up an eyebrow.

Cress would probably have replied with a 'No, that is only reserved for idiots like you.' but she wasn't feeling very amiable today so she just shrugged.

Terry's eyebrow came back down at her lack of response. "Well, I don't think it is a very efficient way. The society may even frown at it."

Still, no response came except a disinterested 'hmm'.

"Why did you never tell me that you were a royal?" Terry asked and Cress's head snapped towards him in shock.

"How do you know?" Cress demanded as she felt her muscles stiffen.

"I saw her picture once in 'Kingdomes daily'. You have the same features so I figured out that you were a royal." Terry grinned. "Shall I start addressing you as your highness now?"

"If you want me to steal your money." Cress replied immediately and then asked in a more serious tone "Does everyone else knows?"

"The newspaper is not written in Vilehelm so I don't think anyone actually buys it. I just want to practise my language, make sure I don't forget it you know?" 

Cress's strained muscles relaxed slightly at the words. 

"Why are you here?" Terry asked coming to sit beside her on the counter.

Cress said the first word that came to her mind. "Trouble."

She hoped that he wouldn't ask her any questions and thankfully he didn't. He nodded as if he understood but Cress wasn't sure that he did. How could he?

"So is your sister dating anyone? I was wondering if-"

"Don't you dare!" The look that Cres gave him could freeze hell but he didn't really care.

Even if just for a moment, he had managed to get her thoughts off her troubles.

***

"Hey-" Cress paused as she took in the sight of Taemia lying on her queen-sized bed with her eyes closed. Her chest rose and fell down rhythmically and her lips were slightly parted. She was curled on one side, her back to the wall.

Cress paused and then moved to the bathroom. She switched on the light and stared at the dark circles forming beneath her eyes. She leaned over the sink, bending her neck to splash water on her face.

She excused herself out after a quick brush and change of clothes. 

She analyzed Taemia's slipping figure and realised that there was no way her sister was comfortable in her deep violet dress.

She considered waking her up but then decided against it when she saw the serene expression on her face.

Cress switched off the lights and squeezed herself between her sister and wall and curled up, her back against her sister facing the wall. 

Her thoughts begin to mix jumble until they didn't make sense anymore and Cress found herself slipping out of consciousness.

***

"No. Please! Leave me alone!" Cress pleaded, retreating until her legs hit the railing behind feeling the water wet it.

Her father approached her carrying his unsheathed sword. His face was charred black and she found herself staring at eyes that seemed to have lost their eyeballs. 

When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and cracked. "You did this Diana. You did this to me."

He pointed to the place where a girl lay beneath the violet silks. Cress gasped as she found herself to be looking at the lifeless body of her sister.

"No." The word was no more than a whisper but it contained the agony of a scream.

"You did this." Her father sounded like a broken record, repeating the same harsh words again and again.

She was already screaming when he plunged his sword into her chest and woke up to find her cheeks drenched with tears.

Cress drew her legs towards herself bending her knees and wrapping her arms around them and then the trembling began accompanied by a flood of tears.

The walls that hold her up everyday collapse like they had been made of dust. They fall one by one until she is left undefended, vulnerable. There was no stopping the tears that refuse to stop, the sobs punched through, ripping away her blood, muscles and bones. 

Cress pressed a hand to her mouth stifling the sounds that tried to escape and pressed her head towards the wall. The wall feels as if it shaking but it isn't the wall which is shaking it is she. Tremors travel up and down her body and her mind feels like it is about to explode.

The nightmares aren't new. In the good ones, she sees Zagan calling her a traitor, a coward and a weakling but in the bad ones it is her father or her sister. This one didn't even make it to the top ten. 

Cress waits for the tremors to pass and when they reduce, she lies back down curling herself into the smallest position she can.

Her body was trembling and she was still crying but now her sobs had turned into one of those  sounds which sound like half gasps. As if she could not breathe, as if she did not know how to breathe.

Her sister was next to her sleeping, lost in her dreams. Cress stared at the wall wishing that Taemia would wake up and place an arm around her and tell her that everything is alright. That Taemia would hug her until she falls asleep.

Taemia snores disappear for a second and Cress allowed herself to hope but then they appear and all the hope diminishes.

She wishes Taemia to turn and realise how broken she really is. 

But Taemia doesn't.

For the early human, loneliness was a survival instinct but for her, it may just turn out to be the cause of her death.

***

IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ AFTER ''MOVING ON!''

***

Hey. Want a tissue or perhaps an ice cream?

I have loads of them. Oh no, they are not for me, they are for Annabeth who wouldn't stop crying.

And cursing me for being a heartless monster.

No Annabeth I do not have a rock instead of a heart in my chest. Yes, I am pretty sure it beats. No, I don't want to cry.

I TOLD YOU I HAVE A HEART FOR GOD'S SAKE!

MOVING ON! 

That last line, loneliness survival instinct stuff. I read about this and I have a speech prepared. *cracks fists* *grabs mike* *releases a startled mike and grabs the right mike**Clears throat*

So, in the early stages of human life, surviving alone was basically an impossible feat so homo sapiens travelled together. Loneliness pushed them forward to join a group and travel with others.

Hence it was a survival instinct.

Everyone feels lonely at some point in their lives. It's common but that doesn't mean you should ignore it. Reach out to friends or family. Talk to them, feel better.

One thing that I noticed when I am lonely is that I start declining invitations. Don't do that. 

Don't misinterpret signals. (THAT HAPPENS A LOT) And please don't jump to the wrong conclusions. Think rationally.

If you are lonely and everyone is busy then message me. 

I may not reply quickly (the day and night problem or WIFI problem or writing a chapter) but I will reply. 

I will try my best.

Never lose hope.

Yours realio and trulio,

Sadie Kane.