Everyone is meant to deal with the same amount of suffering. Did the suffering include the amount of regret I had? Or did it only include the death of people we held closest to us? Overall suffering is just a verb telling you how much shit you have to get over.

I regretted my past and I felt worthless in the present. But you can't judge yourself by what others did to you, we each must find ways to accept and move through the pain, to pick ourselves back up. Patience is a godsend. Keeping quiet is the one thing that helps.

If you looked at my life from the outside you would see a loving family, with happy children, and happy parents. If you looked closer you would see the faint cracks, the strain of marriage and two children. Even if you tried to look any closer the worst you would see would be faint bickering between husband and wife. You would never see the explosions.

Living in a world where you can't reach out is a lonely place. Being dependent on someone was even worse. That's why I wasn't, I went to college, I got an education and I became a teacher. I was interviewed and liked, my husband wasn't happy about it, he didn't want me to be independent and that was my first step against his perfect little world.

Being the perfect housewife was something I wouldn't have ever been good at, especially trying to get everything up to David's standard of perfection. I was constantly reminded of how I wasn't good enough for him, and how he only married me because he wanted to do the right thing.

It wasn't the right thing. He hurt me and I let him. He was weak inside, he had told me as much himself. I remembered him crying in my arms, confessing the things his father had done to his mother, how his father had hurt him. I think, if he hadn't have told me this, I would've had the strength to leave him.

XXX

I got into work at 8 am. I was late, but that's what happened when your husband refused to have any input with the children, and when I asked, I got told I was the woman and my domain was the children, not his. Which put me in a bad mood for the rest of the morning.

No students were in school due to it being staff development day. Not that I was complaining, it gave me chance to get ahead with my lesson planning and sorting out my classroom. I spoke to as little people as possible. The only person I held a conversation with was my boss Veronica.

People tried to be friendly, but I was in a bad mood. What topped it all of was being told my desk would now have to be shared with another teacher because more class space was needed, meaning our cosy little office had gained 5 new staff from the geography department.

A petite lady with blonde hair and glasses approached me. "Hi, I'm Emily Camton. It seems we are going to be desk buddies." She gave me an enthusiastic smile as she set her planner down on the desk.

I watched her carefully. "The only thing you need to know is I work in organised chaos. Oh and not to touch my sweets stash. I'm diabetic." I gave her a tight smile in return.

Her energy only meant one thing, she was an NQT, no one who had taught here for more than a year would have that enthusiasm. It was a hard school to work at, they had strict rules and regulations. Gradually it wore you down until you had almost lost your sanity, which is why we had such a high staff turnover.

Working in the history department was rewarding, though, especially as each year the grades we had been producing were the highest in the county. Surely, in my eyes, that meant we shouldn't have to share our office.

"Angela, a word please." I glanced up at my boss.

I nodded and followed her out of the office.

Emily smiled as I walked back in; clearly, under the impression, we would be friends. I knew I wouldn't, I didn't do friends in the workplace. I didn't want them to become close to me. Being close to me would mean, sooner or later, they would find out my secrets, and then everything would crash down.

XXX

"You're late." His eyes were dark and unreadable.

I swallowed. "Where are the children?" I didn't want them to have to hear what was about to happen.

"Staying for a sleepover at your mother's." His eyes narrowed as he stood up and walked towards me. "So honey, do you have a reason for being late?" He stood behind me. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.

"After work, we all went out for drinks. I tried to decline, but-" I turned around to face him. David's eyes had darkened and his jaw twitched. A sign he was extremely angry. He was unpredictable when he was like this. I braced myself.

The slap echoed throughout the house. "Don't lie to me."

I felt tears rise as the pain crept up the side of my face, making it feel as if it was on fire. Instinctively I tried to run, but he grabbed me by my hair and tossed me backwards into the wall.

"You know what happens when you try to run from me." He whispered.

His fist hit the side of my head, a shockwave of pain shot through my skull. I cradled my face in my arms, unable to hold back the tears anymore. I cowered on the floor as I felt his foot collide with my stomach, I yelped and doubled over in pain.

My whole body throbbed. I could hear the rushing blood in my ears; my legs were no longer under my command. Each breath sent 100 knives into my chest.

The front door slammed as he left, probably to get himself something to eat. The pain I felt had killed my hunger. All I wanted was some water and aspirin to kill the pain. I sat up and reached for my bag, I hissed as pain shot across my abdomen.

I barely registered the pain as I pricked my finger. I was okay, I didn't need to eat. I barely registered the pain that radiated through my soul.

By the time David returned home I was dosed up on painkillers and fast asleep. Nothing would be mentioned about this in the morning. It was the way of dealing with it, sweep it under the carpet and pretend everything was fine.

It was a normal evening in the Eastridge household. A mirror of perfection on the outside and a smashed one inside.

Please give me any feedback you may have on this chapter, and please click the star if you felt this chapter was deserving.

What are your first impressions of the characters? Do you like them? Anything you think I should look at or change?

Thanks, Jess.