Dearest Readers,

Thank you for your kind messages. I am still unwell... hopefully recovering.

Weirdly I'm down with something similar to what Neil went through in this book. Lol...I don't know if I manifested it but my doctor says I called upon this due to stress.

I wouldn't want to discuss it in detail because it's my personal space but you guys deserved to know an update on my health so here it is...I'm under heavy medications and I sleep a loooooot nowadays lol.

About the book, my health is my priority so please don't expect daily updates till I recover completely. I'll update once in a while when I feel better because I want to keep my health on my top priority right now. So please don't expect regular updates at least for a few more weeks.

I insist you either follow me on watty or atleast add this book into your reading list so you know when it's updated.

Till then...

Please keep me in your prayers. I hope no one ever comes across this shitty painful thingy that I'm bestowed upon. To every reader of mine... please don't take stress. Nothing's worth your health. And please please please grow a stronger immune system unlike a junk pot like me 🥲

Lastly
..
Your writer is there... hanging in there and I promise to heal soon and come back stronger 💪

Love Love ❤️
Srinidhi

Here's your update
..
Enjoy ❤️

NEIL
✨

I kept looking at my entire family smiling, happy and most of all together. It's true indeed that babies bring happiness to this world. I witnessed it today. After how Ken Bro slapped and stopped talking to me that day after he got to know about Shankar Anna, I thought I lost my brother forever but Krithi and Pradar have done the impossible... possible today. It feels so good seeing my brothers together and the way Mom accepted Shine was so heartwarming. My baby always craved for mother's love. Now she's blessed with grandmother's love too.

Kids are indeed beautiful. It's just that not everyone is lucky to have them in their life. But look at the irony the night I lost them was the night Prakruthi Vanni got her labour pain too. It's like God wanted to give us back what we lost and indeed we have been blessed with two babies in our household.

I hope someday Avanthi and I also...

No!!! Remember how Avanthi didn't want you that night? I was going through too much that night. Every year on that day I go to the nearby temple and pray for my child's departed soul because the priest said it was an unborn baby so they cannot do other death anniversary rituals for my baby, so least I could do was pray for the child's soul to rest in peace and apologize for my inability to save its life.

I wanted Avanthi so much that night. On the other side my mind was so disturbed because my family wasn't at peace. I quit drinking completely but that night I couldn't stop myself. I was drunk but I was still conscious. She confessed that she loved me and that felt like heaven although I always knew she did but hearing her confess it, felt out of this world. That night I showered my love in the form of need and desire but she denied it. And somehow after her rejection I'm unable to face her.

I feel guilty. Maybe I've hurt her. Maybe I crossed my limits with her. Did she feel uncomfortable? What if she thought I was forcing her? The reason why I'm avoiding her. But she's trying to behave normally with me. Maybe she's trying to ignore what I did to her. Maybe she thought I'm drunk so she's letting it go. But deep down I'm worried. I don't want to loose her unlike last time. Maybe I should have thought enough before launching myself at her. How stupid am I? Ughhh!!!

I was having a splitting headache so I decided to get myself some coffee. I noticed the house was crowded and I knew I'll have a hundred questions thrown my direction if I go downstairs so I decided to simply slip back to our study room as it has a coffee machine. Ken Bro used to attend meetings from here during Prakruthi Vanni's pregnancy trying to avoid going to office and he needed his caffeine shocks to stay awake during late night meetings with our US team. Then I was against the plan because I thought it would make my brother a coffee addict but today the same idea became a life saver.

✨

I quickly looked for the coffee powder and added some hot water to it trying to brew myself a strong cup is when I heard the study room door open and shut with a thud. I turned around only to gulp nervously as Avanthi was standing at the door folding her hands against her chest.

To add on she was wearing a white and silver transparent saree that enhanced her beauty a tad bit too much. My eyes helplessly raked over her goddess like body. She was blessed with flesh in the right proportion in the right places. And then to add on she had only tied a bunch of her hair in a punch clip leaving the rest open. Damn the perfume she wears was enhanced by the Mangalorean Jasmine that she had worn. It smells heavenly.

Stop it Neil!!! You have already embarrassed yourself enough you can't do that again.

Keeping a stone on my chest I turned around and switched on the coffee maker for milk. Unfortunately the coffee maker had no milk. I didn't want the milk powder so I decided to adjust with a black coffee. But suddenly her voice brought me out of my reverie

'Why are you ignoring me?'

I continued adding water to my cup without answering her when she suddenly came and stood behind me and said

'Dont think that you can escape from me!!! You are not talking to me properly for more than a week. You are ignoring me, you don't even see me Neil...what is the matter with you?' she asked and I knew she won't leave without an answer so I simply turned around and looked into her eyes....

One look and I was long gone.

Gosh!!! How can someone be so sexy and innocent at the same time. She was both the librarian and the stripper in my eyes. Right now although she stood infront of me in a fully dressed saree, I couldn't forget the moaning Avanthi who was squirming under my touches that night.

Fuck!!!

'What?' she asked and I cleared my throat saying

'Nnno..nothing like that!!! I'm busy. I have a meeting...I'll see you la-' but before I could step away she grabbed me via my kurta and pulled me closer.

'Try stepping out of this study room and see what happens Neil Nayak!!! I dare you!!!' she warned me. Damn her face was red in anger. I didn't move an inch when she raised an eyebrow and stood infront of me. I looked elsewhere trying not to face her.

'What is it Neil? You don't like me anymore? Or....or is it because of...of... because of...that night?' she asked and I closed my eyes. I couldn't look into her eyes.

'Av... Avanthi... I'm...I'm..I was drunk okay!!! I'm sorry if I-'

But that's when my eyes met her eyes and I noticed tears rolling down her cheeks.

Shit!!!

'So I was right!!! It is that night. Just because I said no to you, you were frustrated? Right?'

What??? What rubbish???

'Avan-'

'No Neil it's fine!!! It's fine!!! Really!!! You confessed your feelings to me and I did the same and then we had a few intimate moments and then I stopped you. That angered you? Tell me Neil???'

'Avanthi please liste-'

'Neil you were drunk and is it wrong that I wanted it to be a conscious moment rather than a drunk mistake unlike last time? I didn't want the history to repeat...' she said and my lips parted but nothing left my mouth

She grabbed me via my collar and pulled me closer such that our noses touched when she confessed

'I want you as much as you want me Neil. You think I don't burn for you? Our little hugs and kisses didn't make any difference to me till date? That night when your hands touched my forbidden parts...didn't it ignite a fire inside of me? You think I don't want to feel that pleasure and love that I confessed that night Neil?' she yelled in pain and I didn't know how to stop her so I simply did what my mind asked me to do that very moment...

I slammed my lips against her soft ones and everything came to a stand still.

Her lips were softer than silk, I could taste the sweetness of the chocolate ice cream, she probably had a few minutes ago. To add on was the fragrant jasmine that was driving me crazy. I wanted her so badly for so many years...this kiss felt like ages. We have kissed a couple of times in the last few weeks but this was nothing like those innocent ones.

This was steamy, needy and hot. I was rough yet careful so I didn't hurt her but I still wanted her to know whom she belonged to. I sucked upon her upper lip and bit her lower lip with the edge of my teeth pulling it in my mouth as my hands had cupped her cheeks completely grabbing her face in my palms. I could feel her cheeks had gone hot because of my sudden death of a kiss that I had brought upon her.

She was losing her balance and I could feel her knees going weak, so I slipped one of my hands onto her bare waist. I could feel the soft silky skin of her perfect curve and I couldn't help but pinch it mischievously only for her eyes to widen and for her to gasp at once and taking that as an opportunity I slipped my tongue into her mouth dominating the kiss and like a lost soul she closed her eyes. Within no time her hands circled my neck. I smiled through the kiss. After being satisfied and feeling that she was at the loss of breath is when she opened her eyes and looked at me.

Her moist eyes met mine and she slowly looked elsewhere. I grabbed her via her waist and placed her on the study table. She was shocked by my action but didn't say a word. She continued looking elsewhere but I held her chin and made her look at me. I slowly wiped the moisture around her eyes and confessed

'Dont ever think that I don't want this. I want this. I want you. I want more. I want everything of yours to be mine and all of me is yours-' but I stopped and smiled to myself saying

'Correction!!! All of me was always yours!!! Was...is and will only be yours Avanthi... because I love you!!!' I said cupping her cheeks and her eyes went moist again.

'Shhhhh!!! Please love!!! I can't see any more tears in your eyes. You've already shed enough because of me and my past. No more tears...hmmm?' I asked her and she nodded.

I held her hands in mine and kissed them when she asked 'Then why were you running away from me like I was one of the ghosts from Mukta Vanni's stories huh? Why were you ignoring me so much Neil?'

'Because I was guilty!!! I....uh...I pounced upon you that night like an animal. I didn't care if you wanted it or not. It was so wrong Ava...I just...and then...you...you didn't like it either!!!' I whispered when she narrowed her eyebrows and said

'You were drunk!!!'

'But I was conscious!!!'

She jumped down from the table keeping her hands on her tiny waist and said 'How would I know that? I don't carry a breathalyzer with me to check how drunk I am or not? What do you think I am?' she asked and I smiled hesitantly and said

'But you....you...looked very uncomfortable!!!'

'What??? Didn't I kiss you back? Didn't I confess my feelings that night? I just said not to proceed because I wanted to remember every moment when we-'

But she suddenly paused and I smirked. I noticed her cheeks going crimson pink as she struggled to speak further. I loved that glow on her face. She was blushing and I couldn't help but adore the smile on her face. I wanted to tease her.

'You wanted us both to remember what my dear Swan?' I teasingly took a step closer to her but she was alerted and she took a step back saying 'I....uh...why are you coming closer?' she complained while still not looking at my face and her entire face resembled a ripened cherry that I was desperate to swallow raw right now.

Her back hit the wall and she was alert. She was planning to escape as she reached the door but I placed my hand with a loud thud just above her head as I leaned my body slowly pressing to her soft and lean one as I whispered in her left ear

'You were the one to lock the door my dear Swan. You invited yourself to my den. Now...I don't think I'm in a mood to let you go...so easily... after all there's so much more pending for us to complete!!!' saying I lightly bit her earlobe making her jump like a corn on hot pan. I smirked pressing myself more and more onto her body and her lips parted.

I took a good whiff of the Jasmine flowers and my eyes fell on her deep blouse showing enough of her skin for me to loose my marbles. My mouth dived into her neck and sucked onto the sweet spot between her neck and shoulders which I discovered the other night and she helplessly shuddered under my actions.

My hands weren't listening to me anymore. I didn't care if I was in my brother's study. I couldn't stop the beast within me anymore. My hand grabbed onto the soft flesh of her waist as I squeezed more only to slowly crawl closer to her navel.

'Neiiiil...Ahhhh!!!' she cried in pleasure but I knew that I could stop no longer my hand went lower from her navel line to find a bunch of fleets that were tucked into her saree skirt. My mouth kept sucking her neck hungrily while my hand caressed her waist and suddenly I undid the fleets. She froze.