Chapter Sixteen

A/N: When its 2 am but the MikaYuu feels are killing you from various AMVs so you have to update :') hope you all enjoy this one! I particularly like the flashback, which was inspired by one of my favorite scenes in the Destiel story "Twist and Shout".

* Also I apologize for any mistakes, this is not edited or even proofread!! *

This is dedicated to kittenkatter, thanks for reading and inspiring me to update (after a month lol)!

"Yuichiro-san, come on, we've gone over these steps two dozen times!" Shinya whined, beating him in a spar for apparently, as Shinya was counting, the twenty-fifth time.

It has been a week since the supposed robbery, and Yuu's kept his mouth shut about the whole thing so his parents don't freak out and lock him in the basement "for his own safety" even though he knew the lack of sunlight would drive him even more insane.

Yuu was actually looking forward to his usual fencing lesson so he could let off some of his frustration and channel it in a healthy way.

"One more time, then," Yuu demanded in response, pulling his protective mask over his face and chopping up his vision by the mesh visor. He feels the rigidity in his muscles, how tense he is as he gets into fighting stance, yet somehow he can't allow himself to relax and ease into the spar. Shinya mumbled a half-hearted "En garde" and moved into the defensive position, every limb in his body poised and perfected.

"Fence!" Shinya declared, and Yuu went in straight for the attack, blindly thrusting for the chest and was quickly blocked by Shinya's épée considering a head-on attack was easily avoided.

They fenced aggressively, with Yuu growing more and more frustrated with each of his attacks being easily countered. Yuu's fatal move was attacking from the air, thinking using insistence - forcing an attack through a parry - would throw Shinya off guard. However, sensing Yuu was looking for a big finish on the offensive, Shinya blocked from under before striking right below Yuu's throat.

A frustrated cry of defeat escaped Yuu's mouth as the épée fell from his white-knuckled grip on the hilt and he fell to his knees. "God damn it," He cursed, tears threatening to fall. "Why can't I do anything right?" He ripped off his mask and buried his head in his hands, taking deep, shaky breaths in order to calm himself.

Yuu felt the looming presence of Shinya, and sure enough, he heard Shinya kneeling down, starting to say something and resting his hand tenderly on Yuu's shoulder. Yuu jerked away on instinct, scrambling to his feet, grabbing his épée, and rushing off the court.

"Yuichiro-san?" Shinya called after him, worry evident in his tone. Yuu ignored him, rushing off as fast as he could towards the nearest place of solitude: the garden. Though Shinya would always be better than him at fencing, Yuu was more nimble and could run much faster.

He plopped down at one of the old oak trees, particularly his favorite out of the orchard. Looking up, he reminisced on one of the happier moments on his childhood, when he loved to climb trees and sit in them for hours, reading books and staring at the clouds. Looking back, as the fondness of the memory brought a smile to his lips, he realized he hadn't done that in years since he's grown up now.

And so he decided to screw growing up, and got to his feet. He cracked his knuckles before scaling up the tree, ignoring the pain of the rough bark scratching his palms. Yuu hoisted himself on one of the lowest branches of the tree. He was now standing precariously, his foot wedged in the crook where the trunk and the thick branch met. He looked up and decided to go higher, wanting to sit in the same nook he always did when he was a child.

It some serious upper body strength Yuu didn't have to get to the spot, and he nearly fell twice before snuggling into the spot, which was a y-shaped branch that extended from the trunk and had a good view of the sky through the branches during the winter.

Yuu's eyes drooped to a close peacefully, finally relaxing until he heard the concerned voice of Shinya call out for him. "Yuichiro-san?" He shouted from a distance, nearing his hiding spot. Yuu sighed and remained still, hoping Shinya wouldn't notice him in the tree.

Of course, that was just wishful thinking, because it wasn't even a minute later until Shinya approached the oak tree and looked up at him worriedly.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

Yuu grumbled a quiet "No," before closing his eyes again, trying to use his own mental willpower to wish Shinya away.

Unfortunately, it did not work.

"Too bad," Shinya chuckled, and before Yuu could ask him what he meant by that, he heard Shinya grunt as he pulled himself up into the tree and worming his way through the branches until his head popped up right by Yuu's.

Yuu was surprised to see him right in front of his face, and squealed in surprise, nearly falling off the branch in the process. Shinya chuckled, playfully asking him to scoot over and Yuu complied, wishing his heartbeat would return back to normal. He swung his legs over the branch, grabbing onto it with both hands and facing forward stoically. Shinya shifted to sit next to him, leaning against the trunk for balance.

"So," He started, studying Yuu carefully - Yet Yuu refused to look him in the eye, because he knew the moment he did, Shinya's caring gaze would break him and he'd end up spilling everything. "I know you can be a bit of a poor sport sometimes, but I've never seen you run off like that."

Yuu didn't know how to reply, so he didn't; instead he pursed his lips tightly as to show he wasn't going to say anything.

"You know, after all these years, I know you better than you think," Shinya continued, crossing his arms over his chest. "And correct me if I'm wrong here, but you're acting a bit more angsty than your usual teenage angst quota."

Half-heartedly smirking at that joke, Yuu rolled his eyes and still chose to remain silent.

"Well, whatever it is, you should know you can trust me. I won't tell anyone," Shinya promised. For the third time, Yuu said nothing, and Shinya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Alright, new approach. I'm not letting you get down from this tree until you tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

"You can't do that," Yuu's voice rose in annoyance. Shinya ushered to the ground, which was at least fifteen feet below them.

"If you want to jump and risk breaking your legs, be my guest," He smiled innocently, "Or we can have a lovely chat so you can get down the proper way."

"Honestly," Yuu whined, "You are such a nuisance sometimes."

"That's funny," Shinya laughed. "I was just thinking the same of you."

Silence fell between them, with Shinya watching Yuu and waiting for him to say something, and Yuu's fingers twitching in nervousness by his sides. He looked down at the grass below again, wondering if he should risk jumping. When he looked, however, he felt dizzy and his face grew pale.

Throwing his hands up in the air, Yuu heaved a sigh and announced "Alright, alright! You win, Shinya. I'll tell you."

"Excellent." He quieted after that, taking in Yuu's worried expression as he sighed dryly for a second time.

A smile curled on Shinya's lips. Yuu caught the expression out of the corner of his eye; his sly smile reminded him of another side of Mika: cunning and dangerously honest. Blushing immediately at the thought of Mika and a conversation they had during their last rendezvous.

They were walking through the town, one of the less busy streets. Yuu and Mika strolled down the sidewalk, with Mika slightly ahead because his taller stature made him take larger steps. Yuu had to force himself to keep up with Mika's longer strides, his hands balled into tight fists by his side to keep them from shaking with nerves.

Mika paused at an establishment that was just as worn down and dusty as the rest of the town, but judging by the amount of people and the soft jazz music playing on the inside, it was clearly a popular stop. The lights from the inside casted shadows on the street, setting a warm glow on Mika's profile (not like Yuu noticed or anything).

"Welcome to the Seraph Diner," Mika gestured flamboyantly towards the sign, which was tilted due to a missing nail. Yuu's eyes widened in amusement, flickering back from the broken sign and Mika's excited face. "Hopefully the tour has worked you up an appetite, because personally, I am starving."

"I'm down for something to eat," Yuu agreed, and Mika pulled the door open, holding it open for Yuu. They entered the diner, the bell above the door jingling as the entered.

"Krul!" Mika called, and a pink-haired girl, who couldn't be more than twenty-five, turned around from her spot at the bar counter. When seeing Mika, her face lit up in a smile, and she poured some coffee into a scraggly-looking man's cup before joining them at the front of the establishment.

"Well, look who finally decided to visit me after a month! Where've you been?" She asked, smiling at Mika before her eyes wavered over to where Yuu stood awkwardly beside him, unsure of how to handle the situation. He heard the tone of her voice; his whereabouts weren't the only thing she was curious about.

"Sorry, Krul. Been busy with jobs and all that," Mika told her apologetically, looking unfazed at her inquisitive expression as she motioned with her hands, ushering them towards one of the plastic, cherry-red booths. Yuu thought he noticed a change in his accent, like he spoke in a more southern dialect around her.

"No excuse," She clicked her tongue, pulling out a small notepad out of the pocket of her apron. "I'm assuming you'll have the usual?"

"Two of 'em, please, ma'am," Mika flashed her a peace sign, and she nodded before heading towards the back, her long pink hair flouncing off her shoulders as she walked. Yuu took an uneasy break and tightly clasped his hands in his lap, staring at the salt and pepper shakers as if they held the secrets to the universe.

"You'll like the food here. Best in the city, in my opinion," Mika started. Nodding, uu avoided his gaze, feeling Mika lazily check him out. He felt his cheeks grow warm, grateful the girl named Krul had already brought out their food; strawberry milkshakes.

"Have you ever eaten here before?" Mika tried again, trying to make conversation. Yuu shook his head. "Ah, right. You're not from here. Silly me, they don't have Seraph diners in Nowhere, Drelacia."

Yuu couldn't help but crack a smile at Mika's positively stupid joke, and he looked up, only to find Mika staring right at him, his chin cupped in one palm. His smile was intoxicating; even when he wasn't smiling honestly, even the smirk playing on his lips felt genuine.

Yuu clutched onto the milkshake glass, fiddling with the straw with the other hand before raising it to his mouth cautiously. He was immediately pleased by the milkshake; having never had one before, it was certainly a nice change to the exotic pies and pastries the castle cooks made for dessert back at the castle.

"So, are you queer?"

He nearly spit out his milkshake.

"Are you?" Yuu mustered up the courage to fire back, avoiding answering it altogether. He hardly even considered the possibility himself, let alone accepted anything, and yet it was constantly a nagging thought in the back of his mind since he first met Mika.

Mika laughed, as if the question was absolutely ridiculous. "Well, obviously," He shook his head amusedly, twirling the straw around his finger. "I told ya that way back when we first met at the pub! Don't tell me you've forgotten already! But ya haven't answered my question."

"So what if I am?" Yuu spluttered. He couldn't believe himself the moment the response left his mouth. Why was he saying this aloud, and to Mika, of all people? "Why do you want to know, anyway?"

Mika's smirk grew wider. He took a sip of his milkshake, his gaze not once leaving Yuu's. "Oh, no reason. Good to know my gaydar is still accurate, though. Haven't found me a cutie such as yourself in a while."

If it was even possible, Yuu's face became even redder, rivaling the plastic material of the diner booths. He grumbled an incogent response and focused on drinking the milkshake, knowing Mika was staring at him still, with that same dumb smile on his face.

Ah, fuck.

"A few months ago, I snuck out of the castle to go into the city," Yuu admitted, staring straight ahead because he knew if he looked Shinya's way, his face would alight with a bright red blush. "And I met someone along the way."

"Who was it?" Shinya inquired when Yuu paused to collect his thoughts.

"He's amazing," Yuu said breathlessly without even thinking about choosing his words, something he's been trained to do for seventeen years of his life. "He's everything I'm not; smart, caring, kind, and a commoner."

Shinya said nothing at this point, so Yuu took it upon himself to continue babbling thoughtlessly. "That night I spent with him was the most fun I'd ever had, and when I had to return home, it always felt like something was missing in my life. I couldn't stop thinking about him for months, Because I was pretending to be someone else, I never had enough time before I had to run back home like Cinderella from the ball. I, of course, knew I had to return, and I did, a couple months later. He was exactly like I remembered him, and somehow, he hadn't forgotten me although I'm not special or striking in anyway - I'm just a boy pretending to be anyone but himself for one night - and that night was even better than the first. He took me exploring the city with him, and he showed me a beautiful hidden spot in the city where the stream turned into a waterfall. We wandered the whole area, just talking and laughing and enjoying each other's company. Because I was clumsy and it was dark, I fell in the stream by slipping on a rock when I was chasing after him, and fell unconscious from the cold. I woke up early the next morning in his room; I was so embarrassed about what happened and afraid someone would realize I was missing I left without a thank you or a goodbye."

Yuu's voice quivered as he continued his story. His eyes were watering now, and he cursed himself for being so damn emotional all the time. "And now, I regret everything, because I completely ditched him and I can't even imagine what that feeling of abandonment must feel like, and the nagging feeling just won't leave me alone, because I don't ever want to back because I know he probably hates me by now, yet I miss him! And since then, every time I've been around Shinoa I've been dreading it, and now every moment with her is boring and treacherous, and I imagine Mika instead of her when we kiss, and I just want to break up with Shinoa but I know I can't, because of the engagement and the future of the country and there's just so much pressure! I can't handle it, I just- just-- ugh," Yuu stuttered over his words, covering his face with his hands. "Nevermind. It's dumb. I'm sorry."

When he worked up enough courage to peek at Shinya's through his fingers, he saw him sitting there, one eyebrow raised and one side of his mouth slightly twitched up in amusement.

"Wow," Shinya remarked. "That was a lot more angsty than I thought it was going to be."

Yuu punched his shoulder softly. "Shut up," He grumbled, not spirited enough to hit him harder. "I'm being serious."

"Okay, okay," He raised his hands in defeat, mouth still twitching in bemusement, "I'll stop, I swear. Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, kid."

Yuu scoffed, because that was such an understatement it didn't even begin to cover half of it. "You're telling me," He mutttered.

"First thing's first, and excuse me for saying this," Shinya started. "But you're a fucking idiot, Yuichiro."

Jaw dropping, Yuu almost thought he hadn't heard Shinya speak correctly. Did he really just say that? Yuu wondered incredulously. Never had he heard Shinya speak out of turn apart from the typical friendly banter between them, let alone directly insulting him.

Yuu chewed on his lower lip worriedly. He waited for Shinya to chew him out, command for him to never leave the castle grounds again or step out of line.

"You really think the guy hates you for leaving him?" Shinya asked. Yuu nodded, and he snorted. "Oh, come on! You said it yourself; you always had to leave, you never had enough time, there was always something you wanted to keep hidden holding you back. It's not your fault you were born into a world where people constantly expect things from you and want you to be perfect all the time. No one should expect perfection from a child."

"In fact," Shinya mused, "I thought your teenage rebellion would've started earlier. But I always expected something like this to happen; of course, not to this extent, though..."

It felt like a weight was being lifted off Yuu's shoulders as he realized Shinya wasn't going to lecture him or rat him out to the king and queen.

"Look, Yuichiro, believe it or not, I was a kid once too, and I know how it feels to feel like you're restricted because of your parents. But you can't let that stop you from getting what you want. In your case, you've never felt close to anyone before this boy, and you're starting to realize you're the type of person who doesn't want to be independent all the time even though you've practically grown up all on your own. But if this boy is the way that you describe him, then there's no way he hates you or never wants to see you again."

Yuu wasn't so sure, and still felt his heart lurch at the idea of Mika's face of disappointment if they ever crossed paths again. He knew he was a coward for thinking this way, but he figured he'd just be better off avoiding the situation altogether.

"So what do I do?" Yuu asked, his voice desperate. He wanted his hole in his stomach to go away, because it made him feel like he was treading through mud every day and all he wanted was to feel weightless again. "I can't just ditch everything I've ever known for one guy, Shinya. You and I both know that's just ridiculous."

Shinya's gaze sobered, and he sighed softly. "I don't know about that, Yuichiro. People who are meant to be together always somehow find their way back to each other." A faraway look in his eyes, he stared up at the branches, squinting at the sun high in the sky. "I think you may just be too scared to admit how much you want this."

Yuu gulped. Of course. Shinya read him like a book.

"I can't even admit it to myself," he whispered dejectedly. "I am scared, Shinya. Everyone expects so much of me to become this person I shouldn't be, and I just can't do it anymore."

"I understand, Yuichiro," Shinya said. "But sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone to get what you really want. Life is all about being brave and taking risks. If you take risks, you'll be the happiest in the end."

Yuu's mouth felt dry. "And if I don't?"

Shinya's eyes glinted with an unrecognizable emotion. "Hmm," He shrugged. His gaze was stone cold, sending a shiver down Yuu's spine. "Then you're trapped inside yourself."

Yuu gulped not liking the sound of the latter option. He had made up his mind; the next time he saw Mika, he was going to make things right. He gazed over his shoulder, at the broadening horizon. In the distance, he could just make out the top of the tallest town building. Sighing, he turned to face Shinya again, who seems pleased that he was in a better mood after his advice.

"Come on," Shinya was smiling again. "Let's get down from here. This is not a comfortable position to be in, you know," He ushered to his long, gangly legs crossed over the branch straining to hold his weight. Yuu laughed and nodded, following him down the tree. When he felt his feet touch solid ground, he had the uncomfortable urge to take off in a run towards the city without looking back.

But he fought the desire to, and headed back into the castle where he was forced to pretend to be the perfect version of himself.

Though, it was quite comforting to know he wouldn't be doing that for much longer.