"What the hell Tony? Were you trying for a turkey?" Jack said to Carlos, clearly pissed. "And why is [Name] here? I thought he wasn't involved."

"Well," you replied. "I accidentally killed Kieffer earlier today so..."

Jack's expression transformed into a more tired look. "Honestly, why am I surprised?"

"Look dude! I know you're upset." Carlos replied, his body language clearly meant he was trying to calm Jack down. "And wait, you killed Kieffer kid?"

You nodded. "Yeah, he insulted my mom so I punched him so hard that he snapped his neck! Honestly, I regret nothing! He deserved it!"

Carlos nodded at that with a confused look. "Damn! I never expected that! Kinda messed up!"

"I know Carlos," you replied blatantly. "I know..."

Jack narrowed his eyes. He looked like he was going into a home with the intention to do harm.

"Yeah. But do you know why I'm upset?"

You looked around the beer coolers and sighed.

"I think it's because we've been killing the same guy multiple times!"

"No [Name]," Jack replied. "But I will tell you that it's a part of why I'm not happy!"

Carlos then replied with "Look man, I should've told you okay? But I didn't want you to get involved. Just in case Y'know? If anyone's going to get blamed for this. It should be me and only me!"

Jack then sighed. A long silence followed. Nobody really spoke until Jack broke the silence.

"Will you help me restock the beers then?" Jack asked. "Then you can tell me what happened!"

Carlos nodded and started restocking the booze. Jack then turned to you.

"As for you kid," He stated blatantly. "Tell me what happened earlier. I want to hear everything that happened!"

You immediately nodded. You then walked in and sat on the floor.

"Well," you said, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I was outside right? I took out the trash until suddenly. Kieffer showed up, looking like he wanted to cause trouble! I asked him what he wanted. But he then started insulting me! So I insulted him back! But my cool was dead as JFK when he started talking sh*t about my mom. And when he mentioned him..."

You took another deep breath. And then continued.

"I came and gave him a haymaker so hard that it broke his neck! Then Spencer Middleton came in, said he was proud of me for accidentally murdering someone. And then picked up the dead Kieffer and gave me about two-hundred bucks in twenty-dollar bills before leaving. And that's how I killed a drunk politician!"

You purposely left out the crying part for obvious reasons.

Jack blinked for a few minutes. Trying to process the information you just gave him. He then sighed.

"Damn. Spencer paid you an extra hundred bucks more than me? That's clearly weird for someone like him to do! Anyways," he looked at Carlos before speaking again. "Just make sure to not kill Kieffer as much as possible alright? I don't want any more drama then we already have."

You nodded in agreement. "Greatly noted."

Carlos then came in after restocking the booze. The former criminal looks calm and collected. But deep down you know he's stressed. And it seems like you're going to hear another ridiculous way Kieffer died.

It was Halloween night. In a second,it was a cool and peaceful fall breeze. But a second later, it was a storm losing its mind. The sound of rain was evident. The clouds busted out with rage, unloading a giant thunder bolt in the sky. A large fog covered the road support with thick rain that you needed wipers on they're most powerful to get rid of. A storm that you totally slept through was rampaging through this small town.

Carlos was on his way to the Gas station as storm sirens yelled out the warning. But some angry storm wasn't really going to stop a dedicated employee like Carlos from going to work.

But when he got to the edge of town, close to the abandoned railroad tracks, past the last streetlight for miles. To the point where the sirens couldn't reach. A guy was standing in a ditch on the side of the road. You knew this is where the chaos began.

Carlos pulled the car over & rolled down the window. "Hey man! Are you okay? Do you need help?" He yelled at the guy at the downpour, staring at the woods.

The lighting's frequency increased. It went closer every few seconds with each strike. This guy was not safe in the ditch.

Carlos assumed the guy didn't hear him due to the guy not responding. So he put the car in park and got out to see what's going on. 

You didn't really care about the rest until Carlos described how Kieffer died.

There was a trailer park not far away as it turned out. There was a crazy woman in said trailer park named Lydia Daniels. You knew she's crazy because she took joy in only two things: trucker meth and decorating her space. She's the kind of person who kept the Christmas lights year long and called it different things (Halloween lights. Veterans day lights. Black Friday lights etc.)

She also had an army of yard flamingos until the Halloween Storm took all of it away along with some of her cat's as an insult to injury.

Why was any of this important? Because of what crap happened to Carlos next.

Carlos and Kieffer were arguing. He told the old guy to get in his car so he can take him somewhere safe. But Kieffer (being the belligerent drunk he is) insisted he needed to speak to Spencer Middleton.

Carlos replied that Kieffer was going to get struck by lightning if he stayed there any longer. Kieffer responded by having his torso impaled by a flying flamingo.

What the hell? You thought while hearing about this. What's with Kieffer dying constantly? What the actual f*ck dude.

At this point. Jack asked Carlos why he didn't just leave and assume he died. But the flamingo wound didn't kill him. Kieffer was surprised that a flamingo was in his gut. So he logically, without any medical training at all, tried to remove the flamingo spear out by hand. Carlos was a former boy scout, and clearly knew that you shouldn't remove the flamingo in flamingo impalements.

He tried to stop Kieffer from doing so. But that led to the most awkward slap in human history. Which then led to Kieffer running around Carlos and stealing his car. He somehow fit himself into the car fully impaled. He somehow slammed the vehicle into another ditch. When Carlos finally kept on to him on foot. The politician already bled out. And that's when he told Jack that he couldn't make it to work that night.

Jack took a deep breath before speaking. "So let me get this straight. You stopped on the side of the road at night. In the woods at the edge of town. To pick up a hitchhiker. In the rain?"

"Yeah dude. The guy needed help."

"You know you're every slasher flick victim cliché rolled into one right? If this was a horror movie, you would be long dead by now." Jack stated blanty in his usual tired tone.

"Uh, we kinda are, dude." Carlos replied.

"Touché." Jack responded.

You decided to reply to this. "I mean, it would be worse if it was a Kaiju movie! Just imagine there's a giant monster the size of a building in the woods? We would all be screwed!"

"Touché," Jack said again.

Carlos decided to finally drop a bombshell.

"Here's the thing though. I was feeling like sh*t! I thought I was losing my sanity. You've seen me after I killed Kieffer for the first time. I thought my whole existence was crumbling like a wet graham cracker. I thought I was going to hell or that God was screwing around at me! But on Halloween. All of that changed. Watching the dude die for the third time broke the narrative."

"What do you mean?" Jack replied.

"Yeah!" You said randomly. "What makes you say that?"

"Well," Carlos explained. "If I accidentally killed you, it's my fault. If I killed you again, it's some hell of a coincidence. But if I killed you by accident three times... three times?! Then that should be on you! You gotta take personal responsibility somewhat. You know what dude? I'm glad he's dead! Going around, killing himself all over the place for no reason!"

"Do you mean 'killed'?" You and Jack both said.

"Jinx!" You suddenly blurted out. "You owe me a soda!

Jack looked at you with an amused tone and shook his head. You then turned to Carlos.

"What?" Carlos finally responded, his face confused.

"You said 'murdered.' Don't you mean 'killed'?" Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.

You sighed and mumbled, "This entire situation doesn't make sense at all!"

Carlos shoved the last of the beers into the case. He then said, "Yeah, obviously."

After the beers were put away. Jack got up, turned, and signaled you to head out of the beer cooler with him. You nodded and got up as well. But before Jack continued. He turned to Carlos.

"Wait, how did he end up in the cooler?" Jack asked.

"Well," Carlos replied, "It's a funny story. But not, like the traditional funny."

"Okay." You muttered. Jack nodded at that.

"You sure you two wanna know? I can spare all the gory details."

"Give me and [Name] the cliff notes version," Jack said without regarding your opinion on the matter. To be fair, would you want to state your opinion on this? No, you thought. I probably didn't have a choice anyway.

Carlos took a deep breath before explaining.

"So there I was, driving in the snow with Kieffer in the trunk. And the weather was getting worse. And I mean bad! And I didn't really know where to take his body. And then suddenly, I hear a banging noise. And I found out it came from my trunk."

"I'm going to stop you there. Please fast forward past this part."

You gave Jack a quick incredulous glance before saying, "Are you sure about that?"

Jack nodded to your question, "Yeah. I'm sure."

"Well," Carlos stated, "Some stuff happened. And I realized there was one place that I could take him to. But then I saw you blindfolded and sitting in a kiddie pool like some weirdo."

You jumped back. 

"Wait WHAT?" You yelled out, clearly shocked. "Jack, did you do that?"

"It's a long story," Jack replied. "Did you notice a naked couple in the pool with me?"

You shook your head at that. Jack just mouthed out "I know because you weren't even at the Gas Station at the time."

Carlos looked down in contemplation before replying. "No. Not to my knowledge."

"Damn." Jack cursed.

"Anyways," Carlos responded. "I didn't want to bother you during whatever the hell you were doing. So I left you to finish your uhh, thing while I relocated old Kieffer. I snagged the security tape and got out of there."

"Wait..." you said, turning to face Carlos with an incredulous look. "Why would you do that Carlos?'

Carlos shrugged. "Good question kid. Good question. Anyways, Jack. Don't you have that tape? I'd love to show it to some guy who thinks I'm doing meth because of this. I wanna prove him wrong."

Jack immediately replied, "Oh that tape that contains footage of me dragging Kieffer to the cooler? No. I got rid of it. Permanently. Fire was involved."

"Damn," Carlos replied.

"Damn!" You said like you were Smokey from Friday. "Why was that necessary?"

By this point, the conversation was over. Carlos went into the back room when the next customer went into the store. You and Jack didn't talk to Carlos about anything that night; Kieffer or otherwise. You thought Carlos was concerned about Jack being upset at him. But you didn't know. Predicting Jack's emotions was like watching a game show. All of it was just random guesses until the truth was revealed by the host. And Jack was the host of that.

You just spent the rest of your shift reading and cleaning around the establishment. In the end, you just went into your tent in the woods to do some organizing. But there was an overall thought you had during all of this. And that was: Man, my life is weird.