So we ended up in LA...with Lily...big shocker there, I know.

You can say that I really didn't have a choice when Lily showed up, luggage and all, and threatened to drag me on the plane. You know what the scary thing is? It's the fact that I know she would actually do it without a single care in the world...that's the only reason why I complied.

Well, at least that's what I keep telling myself...

Anyway! Not to mention that Harry somehow knew that I'd say yes and already had my stuff packed up and ready to go on the plane but I guess that's why he roped Lily into this bizarre plan of his.

Mari sat next to me while Harry sat in the opposite seat, facing me. And to say that, that was the most uncomfortable flight I'd ever had was an understatement. Remember how I said earlier that I wasn't really in much pain? I take it back. I can feel the pain stirring up so agonizingly slow and it makes me anxious of what the next few days are going to be like.

I don't get it. The previous two days went by just fine, no hitches, no bumps in the road so why today of all days? I know Dr. Thomas said that it would be different the first time and that I can't really predict what would happen but it doesn't leave a settling feeling in my gut. Then there's also the possibility that it may get unbearable and I won't be able to hide it anymore and the thought makes me sick.

And Harry unintentionally wasn't making it any better with his constant fidgeting and quietness. It was as though the bubbly, cheeky person in the airport had completely vanished. He didn't say a word to me and kept avoiding my eyes like the plague, even resorting to pick up a magazine to read, well at least, pretend to read because his eyes stayed glued to one spot on the first page never moving, seeming to be lost in thought. Every fibre in me wanted to ask him what's wrong but in the end, I just left it, sinking back into the seat with Mari's head on my lap as she fell asleep,

Lily's parents came to meet her at the airport and the sight of them hugging each other and their wide happy smiles made me feel so envious. I couldn't help wishing that I had what she had and maybe then life would be so much easier for me.

Which leads me to our current dilemma. In front of a white Mercedes Benz convertible...simply staring at it.

I, for one, am completely stunned by how sleek...and freaking expensive it looks. However, my fiesty- smartass five year old doesn't seem to think so. In fact, she had quite the opposite reaction to the car and one that I expected but Harry...not so much.

"That's your car?" she asks, almost accusingly but not degrading, darting her brown doe eyes between Harry and the car.

He leans against it and says with a proud smile, "Yeah"

She scrunches her face up at him causing his smile to drop and he quickly asks, "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"Convertibles are a no no for me," she informs him, "They're not safe"

He diverts his eyes to me, silently pleading for help but raise my hands and shake my head at him, "This one's all on you"

He stoops down to her level and tries to persuade her, "C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"Harry, I really don't thi-" I try to step in, knowing that he didn't persuade her in anyway. Instead he used the word fun to describe being in a convertible which probably wasn't the best thing and why she just cut me off.

"-Fun?" Oh boy, here it comes, "Do you know the stats of surviving an accident in a convertible?" she asks, slowing her speech a little to ensure that she's pronouncing all the words right.

And just like that, Harry looked like he just got slapped across the face. He gives me a 'what the hell?' look and all I can do is shrug because I've gotten quite used to it by now.

Just in case you got lost, remember the lifeless soul that she assumes every morning when I have to wake her up for school? Apparently I'm just the poor unfortunate soul who has to put up with her constant whining and tantrums because on the weekends when she's at Anne's, she wakes up bright and early, 5:30 to be exact, and she sits down for the entire airing of BBC news with Robin. Literally every week, she learns something new and then commits it to memory.

The statistics of people surviving from an accident in a convertible being one of them.

Like I've said before, she's not your average child and while it may be challenging sometimes, especially since it's just me on my own, we're both trying to make it work. I mean, I'm not complaining. In the world of neverending stress and sleepless nights that I live in, I long for the exhilarating adventures that come with taking care of her.

She cocks an eyebrow at him, waiting for his answer. He stands back up shaking his head slowly like he just had the dumb knocked out of him, "No, no I do not."

"Well they are low, Uncle Harry! Very low!" she exclaims, "Do you want to know exactly how low?"

He fixes the bag on his shoulder then scratches behind his ear nervously, "Um- you know what? I'm alright."

From an outside perspective, the exchange between them is almost comical and I have to resist the urge to laugh, so instead I let my smile shine through. I watch as he blows out a huge breath, looking around the parking lot, helplessly.

I walk over to him, still smiling and he narrows his eyes at me, "You ok?"

"Who me?" he points to himself, "yeah, yeah, yeah" he keeps nodding his head, trying to reassure me though I'm pretty sure he's trying to reassure himself.

"So..." I let out a little sigh, "those stats on convertibles, huh?"

He eyes the car, like he's seeing it for the very first time and hums, "Uh huh"

"Harry," I say his name to get his attention and he turns his eyes away from the car to me, "-tell you what..." I take Mari's hand in mine, "Just give me your address. Mari and I will take a taxi and you can ride in your deathtrap" I make sure to tease him at the end in relation to his and Mari's conversation about convertibles.

Mariangeli is probably one of the most stubborn people, let alone child, that you'll ever meet...and that says a lot considering I've known Harry most of my life.

He shakes his head and purses his lips in disagreement, "Absolutely not!"

"Harry, come on- there's no way she's getting in that car and you went through so much trouble already for us. Unless you have another idea, this is the only way,"

His eyes lit up as though a light bulb went off in his head, "Of course I do!"

Mari and I watch confused yet amused as he skips merrily back to the doors from which we exited.

"So...what now?" She looks up at me with wide eyes and I shrug, not even knowing myself, "No clue"

About ten minutes passes and Harry still hasn't come back yet. What is he doing?

"You could have just gotten in the car, you know. Jeez...so stubborn!" I joked, "No more BBC for you"

As she goes to respond, the sound of a car horn beeping twice behind us cuts her off. We spin around only to be faced with a bright red mini SUV. I think both our jaws dropped at the sight of it as Harry stuck his head out the window with a wide grin.

"So, who's hungry?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's safe to say that for the entire drive, my face was hot with embarrassment. You know that awkward moment when you're at a red light and car pulls up next to yours and they start looking at you all weird and you want the light to change back to green so bad?

Oh yeah, there were quite a few of those. Except I couldn't tell exactly what they were scrutinizing. It could have been the blinding red of the car that just screamed, 'look at me!' or Harry blasting Cheryl Lynn and bopping his head like a 70s man infected with disco fever with these huge ass shades over his face. Or both...

Needless to say, at every red light, I wished nothing more than to melt into a puddle of myself. And let me tell you...there were many traffic lights to stop at.

It was like he got a kick out of it as well. When he'd occassionally glimpse at me, he'd simply smirk and crank the volume up.

Man I could've killed him!

But anyway, he said he was taking us to his 'favourite spot'. I'll admit that I was curious about where he was taking us for lunch but as I've been trying recently, I just went with the flow.

You know, for someone who lived in this exact city, you'd think that I'd at least know where we were going but the truth is...I was lost. Funnily, I felt like a tourist.

So when he pulled up next to a two story, rustic, house-like building, you guessed it...I had no clue where we were.

It literally just had 'CAFE' in blue stuck to the wall at the entrance but there were also some wooden chairs and tables under blue and white striped umbrellas and three trees acting almost like a fence at the front.

He turned off the car and finally took off the obnoxious shades and said, "We're here!"

"Where exactly is here?" Mari asked from behind, taking the words right out of my mouth.

He spun around in his seat to look at her with a bewildered look, "You've never been here?!"

She shakes her head, fidgeting with the seatbelt across her middle.

"What?" He splutters, "but it's the Beachwood Cafe!"

He exclaims as though it's the coolest place ever and Mari and I just sit there looking utterly confused.

"Yea...no, I didn't get out much. So are we gonna get out? I'm starving here"

After getting out of the car and taking Mari's hand in my own, we blindly followed a skipping Harry into the cafe.

"If anyone asks...we don't know him" I quietly said to Mari and she giggled.

"I heard that!" He yelled back at us and we laugh to ourselves.

"Wasn't meant to be a secret!"

Once we arrived at the entrance, a waitress immediately came to us bearing a bright smile and I watched as Harry returned it as recognition flashed across his eyes. She directed us towards a table in the back of the cafe as if she'd done this a million times and immediately set menus down in front of us. Then again, Hatry did say this was his favourite spot...

"Let me guess...favourite table?"

"Correct answer" he snaps his fingers with a proud smile and I shake my head smiling.

Mari points at a sculpture right across from our table and asks if she can go see it. I let her go, Harry and I not letting her out of our sights while we decided on what to eat.

"I like to come around this time of the day when there's not a lot of people, especially when I'm bringing someone with me," I nod as I listen to him speak, "Don't get me wrong, I love meeting fans out in public but sometimes I just want some alone time, you know"

The waitress comes back to take our order and when she leaves, we settle into a comfortable silence and I take this time to look around, glimpsing back to Mari every now and again to see that she hasn't moved. I can see why he likes this places so much though. It's quiet and it's comfortable atmosphere wraps around you like a blanket.

"Hey...listen" he breaks the silence suddenly and I look up at him, confused at the change in his tone, "I just want to clear up something before it gets too late"

His words, his tone, his body language...everything about Harry at this moment made me anxious. I didn't know what to expect and the seriousness of his tone made the atmosphere around us fill with tension for some reason.

"You don't have to stay with me, if you don't want to...at my house I mean," he starts to ramble nervously,"I don't want you to feel like you have to. I didn't even think that you'd have plans to stay with your family and I just pushed you into staying with me..."

The cafe was quiet. It felt like the only thing I could hear was Harry's voice and nothing else. My heart warmed in my chest as I caught the guilt that filled his emerald eyes.

"But the truth is...the truth is that I want you to stay with me and I know that sounds selfish but," he paused to take a breath, like he was preparing himself for what he was going to say next, almost like it pained him to say it, "...if you really don't want to stay and rather stay with your family, then just say the word and I'll take you there myself"

I am a horrible person. That's a fact.

He feels as though he robbed me of my choice of staying with my family when the truth is that I have no family to stay with...and I wouldn't tell him. So I'm making him feel bad for absolutely no reason.

So instead I do what I do best...grin and bear it.

"It's cool. I want to stay with you" I smile reassuringly and while it makes my day when his face lights up, it just makes me feel worse inside for my actions.

"Yeah? You sure?" He ensures, still smiling brightly, his dimpled cheeks on display and not going to lie, I internally swooned.

"Of course, why wouldn't I? Mari wouldn'twant to miss out on this either so I guess you're stuck with us" I tease a little and he lets out a light chuckle.

We both turn our attention to her as she skips over to the glass case on the wall with what looks to be a figurine of a giant dinosaur with a military tank on its back and a much smaller dinosaur on top of the tank. The image was somewhat confusing but I guess she found it interesting.

I watch Harry as he steadily gazes at her as she takes in the figure before her with fascination. I start to think maybe what happened in the parking lot was a bit much for him. I mean, I've gotten use to her spitting facts at me every now and again with highly developed vocabulary for someone her age and the stubbornness that comes with it but not many people have that luxury.

"Hey Harry..." he turns his eyes away from her to me and gives a quick up-down eyebrow flash in acknowledge, "you don't have to be intimidated by her, you know...she just watches a lot of BBC with Robin"

I try to be as lighthearted as I can because I know how it feels to be a bit intimidated by Mari sometimes. It's completely absurd and unheard of, probably, to feel dumb and uneducated when you listen to the words that come out of her mouth and I sometimes wonder, 'why the hell did I get stuck with this?', but over time, I've learnt that it is what it is and you just have to accept it.

Sometimes I like to think back and laugh at how much I used to say that to her father. But it only happens for a split of a second because then I'm reminded of how much she reminds me of him and how she'll never get to know that.

"I'm not" he shakes his head and then turns it back to Mari again, this time, with a small smile, "I just...this is going to sound as mad as a bag of ferrets, but I feel as though I'm looking at you"

My eyebrows furrow deeply in confusion.
Does this boy need glasses or something?

"What?" I exclaimed, causing him to face me again, "When was the last time you had your eyes checked?"

"Mia, I'm being serious" he deadpanned.

"So am I, " I defended, not wanting to admit to myself that I was a bit intrigued by his observation, "She's nothing like me"

If we're going to get technical, then that statement would actually be correct...

"But she is," he insists, sending her a smile when she turns around to wave at us, "In the parking lot, I felt like a child again...talking to the seven year old who beat my arse in Scrabble the first time we met"

I'm not sure if I'm just not seeing what he's seeing or if I've mentally blocked the idea out of my head because of the fact that everything I do now, my every word and action, is so that her life would be different from mine.

But still, for him to say that she's just like me has caused mixed feelings to stir up inside of me. Is it a good thing...or a bad thing? Should I be happy that he's comparing Mari, a little girl who he absolutely adores, to me or is it just my feelings for him that has me giddy?

"We're going to have a blast together this week," he grins to himself and I shake my head with a smile, not at all prepared for what he has planned but willing to just go with the flow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The drive to Harry's house was less chatty than the ride to the restaurant and that's mainly because I got sucked into my head again, staring out the window...staring out at the place I used to call home. From the ignorant drivers on the road to the neverending palm trees to the pleasant breeze that whooshed by and cooled over my face.

Ok...I lied.

There's nothing about this place that I want to remember. There's nothing about this place that felt like home to me. Truth is, the first palm tree that caught my eye as soon as we landed absolutely repulsed me.

And I know what you're thinking...what did the palm tree ever do to you?

Nothing! Absolutely nothing...but the sight of it makes me remember how sick this place makes me feel. I'm pathetic for running from an entire city but nothing about it makes me feel good at all...it makes me anxious and I could already feel my palms building up sweat.

As the car takes us further and further away from the streets I used to know, I take notice of the difference in the houses, buildings, streets, basically everything from what I saw a while ago. They looked...expensive.

I had never been on this side of California and from the way these houses looked, I can see why. It felt as though I was entering a whole new world and deep down, I know I was thankful to be far away from where I used to live as I felt that anxious feeling slowly dissipate. However, that didn't mean that I didn't feel out of place being here either.

By the time the car arrived at a tall, large gate, I knew that I was very much out of my comfort zone.