Stepping out of the elevator, my feet carry me straight ahead with Harry hot on my tail.

I'm a woman on a mission.

"Why are you acting so bonkers?" he asks as we stop in front of a door.

"Just give me a second, okay?" I reassure him and knock on the door.

A few seconds later, the door pulls open, revealing Liam in a white tank and black sweatpants with a bright smile.

"Hi guys, what a surprise!" he greets "I was just on my way up to the gym but I'd gladly help with whatever you need"

He's so nice!

"Oh, great! Thank you" I try to look over his shoulder to see inside his room "Is there any chance that the others are in here with you?"

He looks between Harry and I with a confused face and Harry shrugs leaning against the wall.

"Hey, I'm just as lost as you are...she dragged me here"

Liam looks towards me and says "Niall and Louis are in that room over there" he points to the door opposite to us "and Zayn was on a call with Perrie but he should be done by now"

I don't know how this is going to turn out. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

Could I get sued for this?

I don't know!

All I know is that I'm drowning in guilt and I'm afraid I'm running out of oxygen. I never intended for this to go this far but then again, I never expected to become friends with them either.

I'm just doing what I think is right.

"Is there a possibility that you can get them all in one room for me?" I ask him, while the thoughts in my head are racing a mile a minute, thinking of ways to tell them and the possible outcomes of this whole...situation.

"Uh, sure? Not a problem" he says unsurely, clearly confused about what's happening. "Shall we wait in here for you?" he asks pointing over his shoulder towards inside his room and I nod gratefully.

After our brief exchange, I start walking back towards the elevator wanting to retrieve my laptop from my room. As I'm walking, a gentle grip on my forearm causes me to put a halt in my steps.

"You're being weird" he states, eyeing me suspiciously but his green irises hold concern, contrasting from his evident curiosity. I stare into the abyss of his eyes feeling myself getting trapped in them "What is it that you had to tell me?"

The longer I stare into his eyes, the more my heart sinks in my chest at what I was about to do. I could lose my job over this and I could possibly mess up the bond that I've managed to form with the boys. A lot is on the line here and I find myself oddly regretting this rash decision of spilling my guts to them. I start to think that maybe I'm doing this for myself, so as to not feel as guilty and deceptive as I do right now.

Or am I doing the right thing by telling them the truth. I mean, it's not like it's a big deal or anything...at least I don't think so but I've realised that ever since I opened up to Harry about Blake, it's getting harder for me to keep the chest closed and what's locked inside is threatening to burst out.

"I'll be back" was all I said as I pulled my arm from his grip and continued my journey to my room.

When I get back to their floor, I hug my laptop closely to my chest and I slow my steps, taking deep breaths and exhaling them at a slow pace, calming myself down, not wanting to have another anxiety attack in the middle of an empty hallway.

You can do this...just like ripping off a band aid!

With those last words of encouragement to myself, I stop in front of Liam's door for the second time today and knock on the door, only waiting a few seconds before he invites me in.

Unsurprisingly, the first voice I hear is Louis'.

"Well would you look at what the cat dragged in" he pipes up once I'm in his view and then he complains "This better be important, missy. I was this close to beating Niall's arse in Fifa! This close!"

"Don't listen to a word he says!" Niall tells me and then he says smugly to Louis "You couldn't beat me even if you tried"

"What's the point in trying when I'm already the winner?" Louis argues, standing up from his seat and squaring his shoulders at Niall. Anyone would find amusement in this scene but right now, there's a permanent lump in my throat that I can't seem to swallow. I start shifting awkwardly on my feet watching the two of them argue aimlessly, not even noticing Harry coming to stand next to me until my body flinches at his presence.

"Are you okay? You seem a bit jumpy" I feel my face heat up at the feel of his hot breath hitting my skin as he whispers into my ear. Not having the guts to look up at him, I simply nod my head swiftly earning a weird glance from him at my overenthusiastic response. A buzz sounds from his pocket and he retrieves it from his back pocket. When he turns it on, I watch his eyes widen slightly before his expression turns into one on concentration, never taking his eyes away from the screen. Must be Stockholm Syndrome girl... I thought to myself.

And you thought you could get over him easily...

Who say I can't?

Speak for yourself, honey!

Why the hell am I arguing with myself?

"Alright you two, knock it off" I hear Liam scold, drawing my attention away from Harry and my obnoxiously rude subconscious "And Mia has called us here because there's something that she needs to get off her chest and like good friends" he ruffles their hair playfully as the whine and protest "we are going to sit and listen to what she has to say"

"Every word?" Louis asks carefully like he's afraid of the answer.

"Every single word" Liam taunts him back with a smug smile, patting his shoulder while Louis grumbles under his breath and walks away towards the door as a knock sounds from it.

"You could've at least brought some popcorn!" Niall yells and we all turn to look at him. He smiles innocently shrugging his shoulders "What? Seems like it's something big, the least we could do is have popcorn"

Louis slings his arm around Niall's shoulder and says "I like the way you think, mate"

"Oi princess! Go get us some popcorn!" Louis commands loudly, causing Harry to look up from his phone and we look between each other confused.

"Is he talking to me or...?" Harry asks me unsurely, looking at Louis as though he's a crazy person.

"Zayn's here!" we hear Liam announce from the entry but apparently it was ignored.

"No, I was talking to Casper floating above your head," Louis eyes Harry with a bored expression and he scoffs putting his phone back in his pocket.

"Why don't you get it yourself?"

"Why would I get it myself when I know that you're here to get it for me?" Louis responds as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. Seeing them like this has given me a huge confidence boost. Some may say that Louis is being rude but everyone in this room knows that it's just how he is and it's nothing personal. He doesn't mean anything by it and we all know that he's just messing around.

With this knowledge, I can definitely conclude that we all have gotten closer over these past few months and I know now that I can trust them not to judge me or my actions based on what I'm about to tell them.

Harry goes to retaliate but Zayn walking in a bowl full of popcorn cuts him off "Somebody ordered popcorn?"

"There! Problem solved!"

From the moment I entered, I could tell that this hotel room was much bigger than mine. The light tone of the grey paint on the wall complemented off white thick duvet on the massive bed in the middle of the room, covered in numerous pillows. There was a medium sized dark brown L-shaped couch on the far end of the room against the open floor to ceiling glass window that had yellow cushions.

After Louis took the bowl of popcorn from Zayn without a word, he walked over to the bed, taking a seat at the edge letting his legs hang over. Niall followed, taking a seat right next to him and Zayn followed suit after. Harry and Liam walked over to the L-shaped couch and sat down on either side of the couch, leaving a space for me in the middle of them.

I eyed the space carefully before deciding to sit cross legged on the floor between the bed and the couch. They protested about me sitting on the floor but at this point, the floor seemed more comfortable to me. That way, I wouldn't have to feel as much guilt and as uneasy as I would feel sitting next to either of them.

After they accepted the fact that I wasn't moving from the floor, I started telling the long awaited tale of how I got mixed up in this One Direction mess.

"Where do I begin..." my voice drowns out as I think back to when this all started.

"Four years ago, I was in a band-"

"No way!" A response comes almost instantly but I don't get pay it any mind, trying my best to not look at Harry knowing how easily this could all go to shit.

Long story short...Harry and I always said that we'd start a band together when we were younger and well I guess, we never got around to that. Well...technically we did, just not the way we planned.

"- with Lily and two of my other good friends in LA"

This conversation is not going the way I'd planned it at all. Their eyes are solely focused on me so I know that I have their attention but they seem to be more interested by the fact that I was in a band rather than what I actually have to tell them.

"Were you any good?" Niall asks, stuffing a mouthful of popcorn in his mouth.

"Hell yeah!" I playfully scoffed, "We were the best garage band on campus!"

A smile instantly plays on my lips reminiscing on the days when the band was still together. My mouth runs away with me, retelling our crazy time together to the boys. All the sleepless nights we spent eating pizza and writing songs and then struggling to get up for our classes the next morning; Blake's Elvis impressions; the way we acted like we were on crack 24/7.

I missed those days. My only responsibility was to make sure I went to class and passed all my exams. Of course, that was before I dropped out...but we don't talk about that.

I remember the feeling of being free. The feeling of acting my own age and not having to grow up too fast. I remember how much I loved singing in front of a crowd; how our music made us feel alive when we played it and shared it with others.

"Sounds like your typical garage band, ain't it?" Louis comments after I stopped talking. I thought I needed to shut up before I say too much. Those days don't exist anymore. I can't get them back.

Remember...we're looking forward, not back.

"Pretty much" I agreed nodding my head.

"But it sounded like you guys were pretty close. How come you never talk about them?" Zayn pipes in, the loud sound of popcorn being chewed interrupting his voice.

I smiled to myself, thinking about how much of a family we were to each other "We were, trust me, we were"

I continued, frowning a bit, letting out a deep sigh, "But um, we disbanded a while back so..."

"That's a shame," Liam says, sounding disappointed and a chorus of the others agreeing with him goes around the room.

"How come?" Louis asks absentmindedly and I see Liam, Niall and Zayn give him a pointed look while Harry slaps him upside the head, causing him to let out a whine "What? I was just asking..."

"No it's okay, don't abuse him!" Louis smiles victoriously, slapping Harry upside the head just like he did to him before and sticks his tongue out at him "Yeah! Don't abuse meee"

"Anyway..." I continued once they finished bickering "Unfortunately, our keyboardist, um-" I stopped, trying to figure out how to word what I want to say properly while pushing away the gnawing feeling in my chest and the sudden wave of sadness that washed over my body "he, uh, kinda left?"

"He left? Just like that?" Niall asks sounding baffled by the thought and I nodded slowly.

"But why?"

My head drops to face my lap, where my fingers play with each other, the sight of the tiny rock on the silver band around my finger bring flashbacks to my mind, making me swallow another lump in my throat as I try to console myself.

Eventually, I look up from my lap looking straight at Harry who is looking back at me. I can't exactly explain the look in his eyes because it was so enigmatic but it was almost as though he knew what I was going to say. His eyes were oozing kindness and genuine concern, and there was something so comforting about looking at them, almost as if he was trying to comfort me from a distance, with his eyes.

But then again, something is seriously off with my head today...I might be seeing things.

So with our eyes still locked on each other, I say "Why he left the band? I don't know...but I guess you could say he didn't really have a choice"

Zayn clears his throat quietly and I tear my eyes away from Harry to him.

His body fidgets a bit as he asks "When he left-" he pauses, looking around the room at all of his bandmates and he visibly gulps nervously, like he isn't sure if he should continue so I give him an encouraging nod, choosing not to read too much into what he's asking "was the rest of the band angry with him? Did your band really break up because the keyboardist left?"

Seeming to be interested in the answer to Zayn's questions, all eyes turn to me, filled with curiosity "It's not that we were angry at him for leaving, per se...but it was hard, you know? It just didn't feel the same without him, no one could really fill his shoes so we just decided to call it quits. Besides it didn't feel right to carry on the band without him" I admit to them, meaning every word and feeling a bit relieved that I finally got that off my chest. Somehow, talking about it now with them isn't as scary as I thought it would have been when I talked about my life in LA.

"Anyway..." I snap out of my daze, coming back to reality and deciding that it's time to get straight to the point and stop dragging this on any longer "There was one song that we didn't get to finish..."

Harry, seeming to sense the oncoming heaviness of atmosphere, asks carefully, securing his phone in his back pocket again "What do you mean you didn't get to finish it?"

I take a deep breath, feeling the air fill my lungs before exhaling and explain "We came up with the idea that we'd put a spin on Baba O'Riley by The Who" I pause for a second, watching each of their expressions turn into one of recognition and that's how I know that it's not the first time they've heard the name of that particular song.

"Before we...you know, we recorded the melody but never got the chance to compose it with lyrics" I can see the wheels in their heads starting to turn as they listen to what I have to say, hanging on to my every word. Well except for one.

"Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on because I'm confused, what does this have to do with us?" Louis looks around the room, hoping to receive an answer but the others stay silent, not uttering a word "Well fine, be like that then" he says grumpily, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back on the chair, slouching his shoulders.

I don't think I've ever seen them this serious before and the thought makes me anxious.

"There was this one time, when I first started working at Syco, I snuck into an empty recording studio." My mind takes me back to that day, the image of it so fresh as though it was yesterday. I can pinpoint where everything was, what I was doing and everything that happened in sequential order. While I'm talking, my voice doesn't sound like my own. It feels like I'm not the one retelling this story as the words fall from my lips with no control.

"Having had the melody that we recorded with me at the time, I thought I'd fine tune it a bit...just a few edits here and there with the DAW. I thought I was alone in the room and I got so distracted that I didn't hear when someone entered."

Over the years since I've known Blake, he taught me a lot of things. Like composing and producing music. After a while, I realized that it was something I loved doing, something I could get lost in and I wouldn't mind it.

But I always got stuck on that one question.

Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?

And till this day I've never been able to answer that question. So for now, songwriting, producing and composing music myself is just a hobby.

"Well, who was it?" Louis asks impatiently and the others shoot him a disapproving look all at the same time that I found it amusing.

"It was Wayne Hector..." I paused, taking another deep breath before admitting quietly, "and Julian"

"When did this happen?" Zayn chimes in.

I look down at my lap, letting my curls hide my face like a curtain and whisper "Last year"

"I think you should continue, Mia" Harry says to me, looking almost upset and that sickening feeling from earlier grows in my stomach.

With a single nod, I continue, absolutely dreading the outcome. I take my laptop that I set beside me, finding the file that I was searching for earlier.

"Apparently they were in the room for a while and they said that they were impressed and wanted to hear more...so I replayed the track that I was working on."

Feeling like I'm reliving that day all over again, I hit the play button and raise the volume for them to hear. Immediately as the familiar opening bars of the song sounds throughout the room, their eyes flash with recognition and they all straighten up and look at each other in shock.

"That's our song!" Niall exclaims with wide eyes, pointing at the laptop.

"Why does that sound like 'Best Song Ever'?" Louis asks cluelessly and Zayn scoffs at him "Maybe because it is, twat!"

"What's going on here?" Liam commands. Though this concerns each one of them, I can't help feeling uneasy as Harry mostly remains quiet, resorting to look at everyone else's reactions but not showing his own.

"I wasn't exactly-" I stop, wanting to rephrase my words so that I don't sound too pathetic "Life wasn't exactly going the way I wanted it too and there was no use for it because there was no band so...I gave it to them"

"What do you mean 'you gave it to them'? Just like that? I don't think that's how it works..." Zayn eyes me suspiciously.

I shrugged my shoulders "Wayne and Julian seemed to like it more than I did" I said remembering how their faces lit up when I played it for them "and I didn't really need it so I told them they could have it.

At first they refused but I guess I persuaded them enough to take it. I wanted to get rid of it anyway. It wasn't something I wanted to remember considering it was done at a time when we were at our lowest, you know?"

A heavy silence surrounded the room, so silent that it was almost deafening. You could even hear a pin drop. I grew more and more nervous as they stared at me, not saying a word, even the sound of Niall's chewing had ceased, giving up on playing with my fingers and wiping my by then sweaty palms on my jeans.

"I thought you said you didn't know Julian?" Liam enquires, breaking the silence and I look up at him, my heart sinking a little at the hurt I see flash across his eyes, "You lied to me."

"Yes, I did" I said honestly, watching slowly as their trust in me slowly fades.

"But I didn't have a choice, please believe that I would have told you sooner if I could. I was given orders not to say anything" I pleaded when they fell into silence again.

"By whom?"

"Simon" is all I say and that one name alone lightened the dampening mood lingering in the atmosphere.

"That makes sense" Louis laughs to himself.

"Yeah, our Mia wouldn't purposefully lie to us without a good reason" Niall chimes in with a smile. Listening to them saying these things doesn't make me feel any better about myself at all. In fact, it just made it worse.

"I'm curious about something though..." Zayn says with a serious face and I gulp "Why is it that we are now hearing about this?"

I let out a small sigh and say "I didn't want my name anywhere near your stuff. I didn't want you to know about me. I didn't want the credit because quite frankly I just wanted to get rid of the song. I didn't want the money. I didn't want anything."

"But why?" Niall asks, finally sticking his hand back in the bowl full of popcorn.

"It's just not who I am," I smile meekly and shrug my shoulders, "If I willingly give something to you, I don't expect anything in return but for you to accept it as a gift."

"As a way of protecting his business from bad press " and to protect me from bad press "Simon had me sign an NDA, so...I could probably get sued for what I just told you."

Suddenly, the once quiet voice speaks up looking at me with an intense stare that I find it hard to read what he's saying,
"Not if we don't say anything" then he shifts his gaze to his bandmates around him "Right, mates?" I send him a grateful smile and mouth a 'thank you' at him that he brushes off with a bashful smile.

"Of course, we won't!"

"We've got your back, Mia!"

"I was this close, Mia, this close to beating Niall. Couldn't you wait another day to tell us this?"

"I'm just glad you told us"

I busted my brain thinking of all the possible outcomes of this conversation and never had I anticipated this one. My entire body fills with relief yet the pain in my abdomen from earlier returns out of nowhere, suddenly becoming unbearable, almost like someone is twisting a knife in my stomach.

I stand up from my seat on the floor and coolly announce that I'm going to the bathroom. As I'm about to do my business, I catch the sight of a tiny red dot smack dab in the middle of my underwear and it took all of my willpower not to yell profanities in annoyance.

Out of all the days...you chose to come today!

At least now, this explains my chocolate cravings and newfound bubbly attitude from earlier, not to mention arguing with my subconscious and the nearly unbearable pain in my stomach.

Not really expecting this to happen, I wad up a whole lot of tissue and form a makeshift pad on my underwear. As I'm doing this, I make a mental note to let my gynaecologist know of my recent developments.

When I really think about it, for once I shouldn't be annoyed that my crimson tide decided to come crashing down on me. In fact, I should be grateful and overjoyed that something really isn't wrong with me yet I can't seem to be.

The memories of that chaotic and awful day play in my mind as I eye the tiny red dot again.

The blood everywhere. The excruciating stabbing pain. Passing out. Waking up on a hospital bed. The sad, apologetic look on the doctor's face as she told me what happened to me. The feeling of utter shit.

Snapping out of my nightmare like trance, I wash my hands staring back at my reflection in the mirror. I tried to act as naturally as possible when I walked back outside however a frown forms on my lips as I notice one person in particular missing from the group.

"Where's Harry?" I asked. The first thing to come to my mind was that Harry didn't take the news as well as the others did. He was mad that I lied to him and so he left.

"He said he had an important call to make and then he left when you went to the bathroom." Liam informs me and a wave of disappointment washes over me. I can't help the bubbling jealousy in the pit of my stomach at the thought of him talking to another girl.

I practically told him to go after her, thinking that it was the right thing to do , but now this just feels like a kick to the stomach.

Maybe this is for the best.

A/N
What's good my fellow readers?
I know, I know. This update took a while to come but I promise that I'm trying my best while battling with school.

So please bear with me 🙏

With that being said, let me know if you enjoyed this chapter by commenting and leaving votes.

Of course, if you didn't it's important for me to know so that I can improve it.

Let me know your theories about Mia's thoughts in the bathroom. What did you think happened to her on that 'chaotic and dreadful day'?

I'll try my best to get the next update out as soon as I can!

Until next time...