Today is going to be an off day.

I can smell it.

I'm not talking about 'off' day as in no concerts or interviews to do today...I'm talking about the fact that I can sense something bad is going to happen.

I call it my sixth sense.

And it never fails me.

It all started that one rainy day in September as I was walking to school five years ago and I said the same thing to myself.

Today is going to be an off day.

I walked into class and told my, back then, friends that something bad was going to happen that day and they just laughed it off and called me weird.

You know what happened?

A few minutes later, a girl from my class dropped right in front of me and started having a seizure.

That day scared the living day lights out of me.

Now anytime I get that same sickening feeling, I always listen to it. But this time, I can't tell if it's something really bad or maybe something that could possibly surprise me.

Not to mention, tomorrow night is the last show for this leg of the tour before the break and then the third leg starts in August.

It's July 13th.

Which gives me approximately two weeks to tell Harry the truth about why we can't visit my family in LA like he wanted. It's either I tell him the truth sooner or have him turn up at an empty, abandoned house and break the news to him then.

Both options don't sound appealing at all. Both options will warrant the same reaction from him

And if it's this hard for me to even think about what happened then imagine how he'll take it when I eventually muster up the courage to actually tell him.

But to be fair...the second option sounds way worse than the first, just saying.

As I'm laying flat on the hotel bed, all by myself, I suddenly feel an oncoming headache.

Maybe I should've just told him the truth when we were in the dressing room.

But then I would've made him sad and I hate that.

True, but won't he feel even more sad at the fact that you lied to him and kept such life-changing news from him, that you got his hopes up...all for nothing?

I didn't lie...I just didn't tell the whole truth!

What's the difference?

Why am I arguing with myself?

I ignore the slight cramping sensation in my abdomen and look up at the ceiling.

I'm in the mood for chocolate.

I spring up from my position on the bed and hop off, tip toeing towards my suitcase even though I'm the only one in the hotel room and slowly pull the zip open, lifting my clothes from on top the secret compartment at the bottom of the suitcase and stick my hand in, pulling out my holy grails.

If you tell someone about this, I'll deny it!

I sit cross-legged on the carpeted floor and spread them out before me. My face scrunches up in concentration as I eye each bar and packet very carefully.

Snickers...or Twix? Hmm, tough one.

In the end, I choose the Snickers, devouring the bar of deliciousness, satisfying my cravings.

You know, thinking about it now, since I've been on tour, I've had my chocolate cravings but it was never to this extent.

Before I could've held out a few hours until I was alone in the hotel room to sneak in a bar or two but today...I wanted it and I wanted it now.

Eh... I brushed it off, putting it down to the fact that I was really hungry.

After a few hours of laying around, it started to feel a bit lonely being all by myself, mostly because it was too quiet and we all know the places my mind goes to when there's silence around.

I needed a distraction.

Harry.

I smiled to myself at the thought of him and decided that I'd go to him. It's so strange not hearing from him today. Usually he'd be the first text I get in the morning as I wake up.

I swear this boy has hidden cameras in the room, watching to see when I wake up.

It's the only explanation!

He didn't even swing by for breakfast this morning, which is so unlike him, considering he's the one always scolding me for forgetting that we have breakfast together now.

Truth is...I don't forget, I just pretend to...But he doesn't need to know that.

Not giving myself a chance to talk myself out of it, I head for the elevation and press the number of his floor.

I jump at the sound of the 'ding' of the elevator before stepping out and walking down the long empty hallway, decorated with paintings and sculptures.

As I'm passing by one of the rooms, I hear shouting coming through the door,

"Eat my dirt, Niall!"

Choosing not to question it, I shake my head and I continue walking, stopping right in front of his door. I raise my fist to knock but then I hesitate.

Should I knock?

No, because he'll magically know that you're outside his door and open it for you, like the true gentleman he is.

Maybe this was a bad idea. I should've just stayed in my room.

My palms start to clam up and an unknown heat spreads through my body.

Yup, this was a bad idea.

Just as I'm about to turn on my heel to walk away, the door behind me opens and I freeze on the spot "Mia?"

I slowly turn around with an over-enthusiastic smile that felt too fake to look real "Heyyyyy"

His initial confused expression melts into one of amusement, which he seems to have on around me all the time.

Do I have something on my face?

"Heyyyyy yourself" he mocks with a smirk "what are you doing here?"

I blame his handsome face and twinkling eyes and tousled hair that he manages to make look so hot, for the words that leave my mouth next.

"I could ask you the same thing" I scoffed confidently, feeling anything but, instantly regretting what I said the moment I said it.

"You mean..." he looks around the floor and gestures to the room behind him "why am I by my own hotel room?"

Could he stop smirking at me? It makes me say stupid things.

"Right..." I drawl out, blowing out an awkward breath at the followed silence "your hotel room...yeah, so cool"

Stop talking!

"Well uh" he lifts his hand to scratch the back of his neck "it's a good thing you're here"

"Oh yeah?" I perk up and he raises a brow at my sudden enthusiasm. "I mean..." I clear my throat awkwardly and say in a more indifferent tone "Oh yeah? Why?"

"I was coming to see you"

Back up.

I think my heart just sped up 10 more beats.

He was coming to see me?

HE WAS COMING TO SEE ME!

Oh my god I sound like a teenage girl having her first crush. Calm yourself, Mia.

Be calm, be cool....be Taylor Swift.

"You were coming to see me?" I clarified monotonously, not letting my inner fangirl out.

"Yeah I was" he looks at me weirdly "did you forget your hearing aids back in the hotel room?"

And...he's back...and my inner fangirl just died.

See! Harry doesn't like me. He still sees me as the seven year old girl he got a kick out of annoying until she kicked his ass.

And that will never change.

"No, you jackass! Now what is it you needed?" I snap unintentionally. What is this pain in my chest? You know...in a way, I feel like I've just been friendzoned. How is that even possible?

"Alright, no need to get snappy" he says before smiling sweetly "I just wanted ask you something"

"What something?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"Well why don't you come inside instead of standing in the hallway" his voice drowns out as he moves further in the room, leaving me in the empty hallway. Alone.

"That was pathetic" I roll my eyes at the sassy voice behind me. When did he even get there?

"Go away Louis, not in the mood" I sigh defeatedly and I catch his usual cheery demeanour change to one of concern and a frown forming on his lips before I walk into the room and softly closing the door, putting on my usual mask to hide my inner feelings of hurt and slight sting of rejection.

"Alright cupcake! What's up?"

"Cupcake? That's a new one" he states from his seated position on the white sheets of the bed. My curiosity threatens to take over at the amount of crumpled up sheets of paper surrounding him and scattered along the floor.

"Don't get used to it" I walk further into the room, taking a seat on the bed as well but on the far side, away from him "What happened in here?"

I catch him eyeing the big space I left between us but I choose not to comment on it. I clear my throat loudly to get his attention and he jumps slightly, shaking his head, seeming to only just remember what he was going to say.

He grabs a few papers of what looks like music sheets and he holds them to his chest, as he says dismissively,

"I had an idea for a song to put on the album...but I'm not too sure if I should"

"Can I take a peek?" I ask excitedly.

"Uh...no" he declines, shifting nervously trying to hide the sheets of paper in his hand and my lips turn down into a frown.

"Come on! Please!" I begged, putting on my best puppy dog face.

I see him try to fight his smile but a grin breaks out anyway "Ok..."

"Alright then, let's see it!" I say excitedly, clapping my hands together.

He adorns a sheepish expression and looks at me with a shy smile, hesitating to let me see the music sheets "It's not done or anything like that...I'm, uh - I'm still working on it so don't judge it too hard, okay?"

I look at him confused "Why would I judge it too hard?"

Why would I judge it in the first place?

Am I a judgy person?

Oh my god, do people think I'm judgy?

What the hell is going on with my head today?

"You know..." he bumps his shoulder with mine, sending me a knowing look. I know what...?

He lets out a sigh at the confused look I send him "You've written what could have been a hit song in as little as fifteen minutes. You miraculously started playing the guitar at the young age of six...the only thing I play is the kazoo. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

I look straight ahead, letting out a deep sigh, as I mulled over his words trying to figure out what to say. I mean, it's not everyday your superstar best friend admits to being insecure about his music because he's comparing himself to you...a nobody.

"Well first of all, there's a lot of 'you' in there where it should be 'I'-" he let's out a loud groan, falling back on the pillow behind him.

"No I'm being serious here!" I playfully scold as I struggle to pull him back in a sitting position. Once I successfully pull him up, my tone turns serious but also sincere because I want him to know that I mean everything I say. "Don't look at what I did and put yourself down for that, you hear me? You're still learning, Harry...there's nothing wrong with that. I've had to practice and practice for years. Remember how I rambled about how much I hated going to piano lessons in every single one of my letters?" he lets out a little laugh, nodding his head.

We sit in silence for a moment before I move closer to him, looking him straight in his eyes.

"What do you love most in the world besides your family, Harry?" I hold his stare for as long as I can, wanting to get this in his head.

He moans, licking his lips "Poutine..."

"Harry!" I playfully slap his chest. "Alright! Ok!" he laughs.

"Well?" I ask looking at him expectantly.

"I love music" he says quietly.

"Uhm, I didn't catch that. Could you repeat that a little louder please?" I smirked.

"This is so stupid..." he shakes his head, smiling, then says a bit louder "I love music!"

I cup my hand around my ear "Uh uh, still can't hear you"

"I LOVE MUSIC!" he yells, his deep yet loud voice echoing throughout the room and I let out a laugh before saying "Jesus! I said I couldn't hear properly, not that I was deaf!"

"You're impossible!" he gapes at me.

"Nothing is impossible, Harry. I prefer the term problematic" he shoots me a playful glare and I reciprocate with a cheesy grin, causing him to let out a small laugh.

"But back to the point..." I said, getting serious again "If you love your music, then who the hell can tell you that it's not good? If you've poured your heart out in a song that you wrote yourself and you love it, then isn't that all that matters? As long as you think it's good, then screw everyone else who tells you differently.

And besides...who's the one making the money here?"

"Great speech," he pipes in teasingly, but I don't miss the grateful smile.

I flip my hair over my shoulder, jokingly "I know, right! Totally recycled"

I laugh and ruffle his hair when his jaw hangs open "I'm kidding! Now c'mon, lemme see your song!"

Is it just me, or do I seem more bubbly than usual?

With a single nod to himself, he hands the slightly crumpled up music sheets to me. The first thing I see is words scribbled in his cursive, print handwriting that is slightly jumbled but still legible. I look to the top and read the title to myself.

Stockholm Syndrome.

Hmm...interesting.

"Look at you, knowing big psychological terms...and they say you didn't finish school" I joked.

However, that fun, goofy exterior was replaced by a sinking feeling in my chest and I shift uncomfortably on the bed as I continue to read the lyrics, certain lines sticking out to me like a sore thumb.

But I feel I'm getting used to
Being held by you

Baby, look what you've done to me

Baby, I'll never leave if you keep holding me this way

Stockholm Syndrome... by definition: feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim towards a captor.

Classic case of victim falling in love with their kidnapper.

In this case, there's a girl who has somehow managed to hold the heart of my best friend, who I also happen to have feelings for, captive. And he loves it.

Isn't this just great?

"It's not done yet, like I said. I still have to, uh- write the next verse. Fix the first verse...and the bridge...and the chorus" he starts to ramble nervously, listing out the things that he thinks he still needs to do.

But honestly, no matter how bad this song makes me feel, it's really good. It's like so good, I find myself actually liking it. Of course, once I push through the pain of heartbreak and the sting of hurt.

"Stop" I silence him and he watches me nervously, biting his lip "I don't know what you're talking about. This shit is so good, who knew you could write like that?" he blushes and smiles bashfully, playing with his fingers.

Aww he's so cute!

No! Pull yourself together homie!

"Do you think I should put it on the album? Or...?"

I furrow my brows and give him a pensive look "Well what do you want to do? Do you want to keep it for yourself? I mean, it sounds a bit personal"

"It appears to be that way" he says, letting out a deep sigh.

Don't do it. Don't do it, Mia. You're gonna regret it!

"So...there's a girl?" And...you did it.

Surprise takes over his features before he lets out a nervous chuckle and leans back on his elbows, running a hand down his face, then says "Yes, there is"

"So? Tell me about her! Do I know her?"

Now I know what you're thinking. Why am J trying to learn more about the girl who is making me feel like my world is going to fall apart the more he talks about her? And the answer to that question, my friends, is...

At the end of the day, he's still my friend and it is my duty as his friend to be there for him, even if it feels like my heart strings are being tugged right out of my chest the more he talks about her. And I said it from the start that I was not going to let my feelings get involved in our friendship.

Therefore, I have no reason to be feeling this way.

But damn does it hurt.

"I feel like I've known her my whole life" he looks up at the plain white ceiling with a wide smile and a far away look in his eyes.

I wish I had someone to look like that when they talked about me.

Well you did...then you took him for granted and now he's gone.

Not making me feel any better.

Wasn't meant to!

What the actual hell is going on with me today?

"And she's so amazing. She loves children. She's smart...and funny yet so sassy at the same time. She definitely knows how to heads turn...and so so beautiful but she doesn't know it"

"She sounds lovely" I say tightly. Does he have wine in here?

He suddenly springs up into a seated position and stares into my eyes with an intense look and something else that I can't seem to figure out and grasps my forearms, shaking me slightly "Oh god Mia, you have no idea! I just want the chance to tell yo- I mean, her how I feel. I want to be able to kiss her whenever I want and tell her how much she means to me and how beautiful she is and to call her mine and be hers for as long as she'll have me"

Oh man! I wish I was her!

"Then why don't you?" I ask a bit curiously. If this is the same girl he's referring to when Mari asked him if he likes someone, then how come he hasn't made a move yet.

If there's one thing I know about Mr. Harry Edward Styles, it's that he's a charmer. I'm not saying that he's womanizer, that's not what I'm saying at all, so don't come for me! Hell would have to freeze over for me to ever call him that...further more, for that thought to even enter my head.

But he does know his way around women.

Master of Flirting, over here people!

Harry knows how to charm his way into a woman's heart but not in a bad way, just purely innocent. He just has one of those faces, you know?

He falls back on to the pillow again, covering his eyes with his forearm. He then says more to himself than me, sounding a bit confused "I'm not sure if she would want that"

"What? Not want to be with you?" I ask baffled "I find that very hard to believe..."

He hums in response.

A short silence envelopes us before he suddenly says "It's just that...I don't know like - one minute I think I'm getting through to her and then the next she's like a closed book. I don't know what's going on with her, I don't know how I can help...I don't even think she wants my help"

"Well for what it's worth, I think she'd be stupid not to want to be with you" I paused then, not really thinking much about it, I say more inner thoughts aloud "but in some twisted way, I think she's a lucky girl"

He let's out a sound between a snort and a scoff as he jokes "Why? Because she's the first girl to ever turn me down? My ego might be bruised but I'm not that desperate"

"You Styles men are so full of it!" I let out a small laugh at him "Technically she didn't turn you down because you haven't told her how you felt"

"And she's lucky because she got your attention and somehow managed to turn you into a lovesick puppy. My whole life I've known you, I've never seen you talk about a girl the way you talk about her. It's so inspiring that I almost feel jealous" and there goes my mouth.

I feel him sit up beside me and his eyes bore into the side of my face but I keep my eyes focused on the spot on the plain white wall.

"So...if you were her," he says agonizing slow and lowly, causing goosebumps to raise on my skin and an instant warmth fills my body "would you want to be with me?"

I whip my head around to face him, not regretting my instantaneous answer until after I said it "You wouldn't have to ask me twice!"

Actually, I don't regret it at all.

I watch as a chesire grin slowly spreads across his lips and I slowly die inside.

I shrug my shoulders, trying to save what was left of my pride "But I'm not her, so..."

With the grin still plastered across his lips, he tutts "Uh uh. You already said it so you can't take it back"

"You skipped breakfast today" I stated, trying to change the subject. I mean, I'm not one to get all up in my feelings because half the time I barely understand them but when I do, I try to ignore them. I try to push them away so that I don't have to feel them.

But with Harry...

For once I let myself feel something for someone who wasn't Blake after so many years.

I'm scared. Scared to admit that what happened between my parents scarred me for life. I'm scared of getting hurt but at the same time I'm scared of being alone.

I convinced myself that I actually had, sorry have, feelings for an untouchable man. Only the best of best actually succeed in pinning him down but how long has those relationships really lasted?

Harry told me himself that he prefers to not get into anything serious, especially while he's touring, because one way or another, someone is going to get hurt.

So why am I not pushing these feelings away?

As a matter of fact, why won't they go away?

But maybe it's time that I forget everything that's happened since we locked eyes in Simon's office that day. Maybe it's time I revert back to my shell and stop letting people in. Forget how much I've grown as a person over these past few months.

Maybe this was all a mistake.

But then again, what if it wasn't?

Do I really want to forget how loved I felt ever since I came on tour? Do I really want to forget the way One Direction made me feel like I belonged...made me feel like I could be my old self again without the fear of being judged for it?

I'm conflicted because I haven't had to overthink anything this much since I decided to quit pre-med school.

"You know what? You're right" he says "how about I make up for it at brunch?"

He gets off the bed, setting the sheets of paper that were in his hand neatly on the bedside table.

"I'll clean this up later" he mumbles to himself, looking at the state of the room before extending his hand towards me and I stare at it, a million thoughts racing through my mind.

I choose not to forget everything. For as long as Blake has been gone, I've felt alone, like I was in a bubble, living like every person that approached me either wanted to hurt me or wanted something from me.

Mari deserves more from me. So does Lily and abuela and even Maria.

I've forgotten who I was for a long, long time. Even convinced myself that I became a new person just so that pain can't touch me but now I'm starting to remember.

I'm starting to remember who I was. Who I am.

And I owe all of that to Harry.

He may have secretly proven his hypothesis but I'm not going to tell him just yet.

The truth is...

She's not gone, just like he said as he bopped my nose in that empty hallway.

She's right here. And I have a feeling that she'll be staying for a while.

Which is why I've come to the conclusion that even though I might not have a chance with Harry, thanks to Stockholm Syndrome girl, it doesn't mean it's the end of the world. I don't have to push away all my other emotions because I'm scared to get hurt. There are other fish in the sea who are a bit more touchable than Harry and I've gotten over my feelings for him before so why should this time be any different.

If this experience has taught me anything, is that Harry is a great friend to me. His friendship is something that I'll forever cherish. Though he may not know it, he's been helping me through a lot of things that I didn't know I needed to fix. I wish I could tell him this to his face but we're taking one step at a time. I'm slowly coming to terms with all of this but at least I know that I'm on my way.

And if having him as a friend is the only way to keep him in my life then I'll accept it.

So Stockholm Syndrome girl...whoever you are, don't mess it up! You're a lucky girl!

I can move on from Harry right?

With faith in myself that I can do it, I wholeheartedly take his outstretched hand in mine and let him whisk me away to brunch.

I can do this!

We ended up downstairs in the hotel restaurant, which surprisingly enough was fairly empty.

I guess they don't really do brunch here in Portugal.

We sat down to eat, mostly in silence, mainly because I was trying to hold back the moan that threatened to escape my lips at how scrumptious the food tasted but I also noticed that Harry seemed to be picking at his with the fork in his hand and his eyes were boring into the plate. Not wanting him to somehow burn a hole into the plate with the intensity of his stare, I swallow what was left in my mouth and ask,

"Didn't you have something you wanted to ask me?"

He blinks a few times at the sudden sound of my voice before leaning back in his seat and running a hand through his hair "Uh yeah"

I look at him expectantly while I wait for him to elaborate. I notice that something seems off with him since we sat down at the table. From first glance, he looks like his usual self but looking closely at him, from the distant look in his eyes and his shortened speech, I can tell that he has a lot on his mind.

Should I ask him about it...or should I wait for him to tell me?

"I was wondering if you had any plans during the break..." he says, finally looking up at me.

Why would he want to know what I'm doing during the break?

"Um..." I paused thinking of all the things I wanted to do during the break.

"I mean, before you come with me to visit your family that is" he clears up and I inhale a deep breath.

No need to remind me...

Well let's see...

I'm still raging from my heated phone call with Simon the other day...

"Simon? What's going on? Why isn't she here yet?" I rushed into the phone while still keeping my voice down so that I don't disturb Julian and Jaime.

"Why isn't who where?" he asks, sounding disorienting like he just woke up.

"Mariangeli!" I exclaimed in disbelief, earning a concerned glance from Julian. I shook my head at him and made my way to the door, pulling it open and stepping outside into the cold, closing it behind me.

"You promised me that once I went on tour, you would fly her out to me when the term ended...it ended last week!"

"I said that?" he asks, sounding more like he was talking to himself "Oh crap, I did!"

"I don't even want to know if you remembered to get my plane ticket for the weekend I have to leave the tour for my cousin's wedding next month" I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

Silence follows indicating that he did in fact forget.

"Mia, I'm sorry. Things just got so hectic at the office with you gone and Linda on her honeymoon, it slipped my mind but I'll get right on it. I'll have her on the first plane going out tomorrow" he reassured but I declined. If you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

"Don't bother...The break is coming up so I'll be coming home anyway to see her and as for my cousin's wedding...I'll deal with it myself"

He starts protesting but I cut him off, telling him that it's fine and I'll handle everything.

Not to mention, how careless I've been with my assignments that I've been putting off just so I can spend more time with Harry. I've worked so hard to come this far and now I'm finally almost done with my last year just to what? Throw it away?

I've always been one to keep on top of my assignments and studied at least two hours a day, sometimes more, never doing things last minute because I hate how it makes me feel.

I get stressed out, feeling like I could rip my hair out, I get so irritable that my family had to walk on egg shells around me, and I'd skip meals or forget to eat just so that I could finish in time...which is why I always made sure to do my work way ahead of time.

Is it only me?

Anyway...

Since I've been on tour, I haven't touched one assignment, opened any book to study...absolutely nothing and it's starting to get to me. I can feel it slowly eating me alive.

So I tell him this, minus the whole me turning into a godzilla study freak, of course, while he nods attentively with a focused gaze in his eyes solely on me so I know that he's listening to everything I'm saying. Even when I start rambling.

"I mean, it makes me feels bad all the time. I feel like I'm neglecting her, you know?"

He teases "I'm confused. You're talking about Mari...or your studies?"

"Well..." I trail off but then I scoff, who am I kidding? "Both, to be honest" and he simply sends me a comforting smile and I return it with a small one.

It's crazy how I sometimes feel like he knows me better than I know myself...and that says a lot.

I catch him opening his mouth to say something but he quickly closes it, shaking his head to himself.

"What?" I ask curiously, taking another fork full of my food.

He lets out a small sigh and looks down at his plate "Nothing"

"Oh c'mon! You can ask me anything"

My eyes bulge out of my head, the same time Harry looks up at me with his eyes widened slightly as his eyebrows raised, not expecting me to say such a thing.

Never in a million years would I have thought that I'd hear those words leaving my lips and from the look on Harry's face, he didn't expect it either.

"Um, ok..." he stutters, slowly putting down his fork and straightening his back, sitting up in his chair "So how is pre-med going?, if you don't mind me asking"

The last time I spoke to Harry, I was getting ready to go into pre-med. Of course, then there was the accident, then my parents' divorce...and Blake and everything in between just spiralled out of control.

So I quit.

"I don't mind you asking, Harry. It's not like I'm some fire dragon that's gonna burn your head off or something"

He wipes invisible sweat from his forehead dramatically, "Phew! For a second there, I thought I was going to be a sheshkabab"

"Oh ha ha, that was so funny I forgot to laugh" I say sarcastically and he smiles widely for some apparent reason but it immediately disappears as I say,

"I quit pre-med"

He stared at me, for a couple of seconds, not even blinking before spluttering "You what?"

I repeated my previous statement, this time a bit more confidently and his eyes widened in shock "Why?"

For a long time, I've wondered the same thing up until recently. I never wanted to be accepted into that pre-med program. I never wanted to go to med school. Further more, I never wanted to be a doctor.

I love science. Science is my passion, for as long as I can remember but so is music. Music has been in my blood from since in the womb.

Growing up, I always felt like I had to choose between the two because I felt like I didn't have a choice. As mentioned before, my dad lived, breathed and slept music and he wasn't sorry about it.

My mother, on the other hand, always dreamed of being a doctor but her dream never got fulfilled because she ended pregnant with twins. My sister and myself.

I was gifted enough to fall in love with both sides but my parents saw this as an opportunity. My mum pushed me into studying and my dad pushed me towards music. I didn't argue when I was put into piano lessons or even when my mum forced me to stay inside while everyone else played outside so that she could quiz me on the human anatomy.

I didn't argue or rebel against them because I thought it was my only way of bonding with them. I felt as though it was the only thing that my parents and I had that we could do together. Of course, we always had fun together as a family but when it came to just the three of us, I thought this was the only way.

"I just..." I sigh deeply "I was just tired. I don't want to be a doctor, never wanted to be"

"But you said-" I cut him off "Yeah I know what I said...but that was before I told you I played guitar and occasionally sang"

"Fair point" he nods in understanding.

"I felt torn between them. I mean, there're both completely different things and I loved them so much but how could I choose just one?"

"Why would you have to choose? Why can't you do both?" he asks curiously, eyebrows still furrowed, trying to piece together the thoughts in his head.

I shake my head and say quietly, "It's not that simple, Harry"

He stays quiet waiting for me to continue.

"It would take a lot of time and focus, especially when studying anything to do with science and while I'd gladly accept the challenge, I still have an overachieving brainiac five-year old to take care of. And she already takes up so much of my attention because I never know what she's going to do next!"

He chuckles lightly, running a hand through his soft curly locks that seem to be growing longer. Then he asks, "So what did you decide to do instead?"

"Well..." I pause, putting down my fork, giving him my full attention "After I quit, I took a job as a choreographer at a dance studio on weekends and on weekdays, I took up hairdressing for a while before I started working for Simon, all while studying general science online"

"You're still studying science...but where does the music come in? And how did you end up working for Simon?" he asks scrunching up his face in confusion.

And just like that something snapped in me. Answering those questions will be opening the doors to other questions that I'm not quite sure and ready to answer yet and there's a chance that I might get into trouble for it.

But this has been eating me alive for some time now and I don't know why, but all of my innermost feelings seem to be on high alert today. It's almost like my hormones are raging at a high speed. Not to mention, my chocolate craving is back and there's a slight twinge of pain in my abdomen that just comes and goes but it's not painful at all.

And so...

It just came out.

"I need to tell you something"

I instantly stand up from my chair frantically as Harry watches me with a perplexed expression "Ok...what is it?"

I roughly push in the chair and gesture wildly towards him "Hurry up!"

He scrambles to get out of his chair and rushes behind my fast walking feet heading towards the elevator.

"Mia, what's going on?" he asks urgently as the door closes "where are we going?"

I look up at him with a blank face "To spill my guts"