Harry's POV

How do I know if Mia feels the same about me as I do her? If mum hadn't come outside last night, could things between us have possibly gone down differently?

I thought I could catch some sleep after the show since I have the night off tonight. It's Liam, Louis and Niall's turn to record tonight.

But the after-show adrenaline is still pumping through my veins making it difficult for me to fall asleep and these questions storming my head isn't helping.

I'm exhausted...but I'm not exhausted.

I'm not even making any sense!

I guess I'm also anxious to know if my plan worked out. I really hope it did.

I may or may not have talked Paul into letting Mia and Lily take the extra beds in our tour bus.

Okay, fine...I begged him but no one has to know that.

Because the upcoming shows don't require us flying to another country, there is no need to stay at hotels so we'll be staying in the tour bus for a couple of nights.

But I've had a taste of what it's like to sleep next to Mia, to cuddle up next to her and to feel her soft skin warm up at the touch of mine...and I'm not ready to give it up yet.

I'm sorry but I'm afraid I've become addicted to her like a drug and I'm totally fine with it.

But I'm so anxious to know if Paul actually agreed like he said he would because neither Mia or Lily have entered the bus yet.

It's so quiet, a little too quiet, with Zayn passed out already in the bed opposite mine, with the curtain pulled closed and the only person left is the driver but he's all the way to the front of the bus and I don't feel like getting up.

Then I start thinking...

What if she doesn't want to cuddle with me and she stays in her bed?

At least she'll still be closer than on the crew's bus.

I'm lying on my back with my arms folded behind my head staring up into nothing...waiting.

Eventually, my eyes start drooping a bit as my exhaustion takes over. I try to fight it but I didn't get much sleep last night because I was worried that Mia would have another episode like she did in the morning.

I watched as every so often as she slept, counted every breath she took, and a small frown would appear on her once pouted lips and her eyebrows would furrow deeply causing a crease on her forehead. It had me wondering what was going on in her head and why was it bothering her so much.

I have so many questions that I fear would be left unanswered. Like for starters, who is this Blake guy? And where is he now? Can't he see that something isn't right? That something is bothering her? Can't he see that she's hurting?

Blake...pssht What kind of name is Blake anyway?

I'm not the jealous type but this guy is making me feel things that I'm not used to. I don't like this feeling but I can't help it. Mum said that I have to control it before it controls me.

I don't even know what that means!

I might be wrong for saying this but he doesn't deserve to put that ring on her finger. I know I don't know him and have no right to judge him but this is my best friend we're talking about and I just don't think he's right for her.

There. I said it.

Treat people with kindness, Harry.

I don't know what it is, but I have this inkling in my gut that something between them isn't right. Something about their relationship isn't right.

She says life just doesn't work out the way we want, like things between them didn't work out and she says that she was never in love with him.

Yet she wears a wedding ring on her finger.

A ring that wouldn't have been there in the first place if I wasn't so caught up in my own world.

A ring that wouldn't have been there if I'd told her how I felt sooner.

I still can't believe I spilled my guts to her and she didn't freak out which gives me hope but at the same time, I don't know...maybe she was just being a friend and I'm reading too much into the 'almost kiss'.

Maybe that could be the reason for her odd behaviour today.

My heart sank at the possibility of her not wanting it to happen as much as I did.

But the way she was looking over her shoulder, almost over-cautiously, I could tell what was going on and the thought of me not being able to protect her from that as much as I want to saddens me to no end. If she doesn't want to be a part of this part of my world, then I can't force her into it. She doesn't deserve it.

She shouldn't have her every move stalked 24/7 or have her face and her personal business printed all over magazines and blogs because of some shitty paparazzi whose mother never taught them about personal space and privacy all because she chooses to hang out with me.

I couldn't protect my family from it and I beat myself up for it every single day of my life.

They didn't deserve it.

I didn't know what I was getting into back then. I didn't know what baggage I was bringing to my family when I first signed that contract.

But I know better now.

I know what I have to do. Since it's too late for me to prevent my family from being put in the limelight as much as they have, it's only right that I make up for it with Mia.

And by the looks of it, I think she knows what we have to do if we want to be apart of each other's lives.

I don't think I could go another day knowing that I let her go again.

My eyes snap open at the sound of a small click indicating the door to the bus opening. I fly out from the bed, forgetting Louis' bed on top of mine almost hitting my head, and made my way to the front of the bus.

However, my insides deflate realising that it's not the person I was hoping for.

But I still put on a smile and say "Hello Lily"

She chuckles lightly balancing a tot bag on her shoulder "Well someone's excited to see me"

My cheeks flush in embarrassment "Sorry, I thought you were-"

"Oh I know" she says with a smirk, patting me on the shoulder as she passes me and walks further into the bus.

"You know" she says still walking further into the bus and I follow her, showing her to her bed "I found it strange that I got a call from Paul saying that the bus for the crew was full and that we had to stay on your bus until the problem was sorted" she stops abruptly and turns around to face me "got anything to do with that Harry?"

I shrug, trying to play it off coolly but everyone knows that I'm anything but subtle "Me? Of course not! I haven't got a clue to-" she shoots me a deadpanned look and I look down "ok, yes I did. Please don't tell Mia! She'll probably ring my neck!"

"Chill Harry, it's all good" she laughs "besides, she won't figure it out. She's too distracted these days to even consider this was a set up"

I couldn't help myself from asking "Why?"

I know I said that I'd be patient with her and let her talk in her own time but I can't help it. It's like an itch that I need to scratch.

"Why what?" she asks confused.

I swallow the lump in my throat as we continue walking, stopping right in front of the extra beds and telling her to choose one.

"Why is she so distracted?"

"Well Harry" she starts as she rests down her bag "she's got a lot of things on her mind that she needs to take of, that's all" her tone is so enigmatic that it has me frustrated that I don't know what she's talking about.

All I want to do is be there for her...is that too much to ask?

I just felt the little spark in me that thought she was going to say the distraction was me, die.

Of course it wasn't me!

"And you, of course" she says as though it's the most obvious thing and I feel that spark come back to life. She takes a seat on the twin-sized bed and pats the space next to her "Sit. I think it's time we got to know each other a bit better"

After that, we delved into a full on conversation. It posed as a great distraction for why Mia hasn't turned up yet.

She tells me that they met when Mia moved to L.A. The conversation got more intriguing from there when she said that they went to the same pre-med program.

Huh... so she really went through with Med, didn't she. I guess as long as she's happy. A/N: Important! Remember this!

Then it got me thinking...What if Blake was some hunky doctor, like the ones from Grey's Anatomy, who she hooked up with?

Uh no. Mia doesn't date guys more than 4 years older than her and she definitely doesn't date guys younger.

At least that's what she told me...

So then, he must've been a student just like her.

That doesn't mean he still wasn't hunky.

Oh shut up!

I think I unintentionally tuned out of her talking while I was arguing with myself because I hear her say something about Aaron.

But I choose to ignore it, not really knowing what she's talking about now.

Stop being rude Harry! Your mother taught you better than this!

I know. I know. But I'm tired and there's this unknown feeling running through my body. It's almost like anger but it's not towards anyone in this room.

And it comes in waves. The more I think about a certain someone or even hear his name, an entire tidal wave of the anger washes over me and it's almost like I can't stop it.

Jealousy.

I don't want to feel this way. It feels like it's tearing my insides apart but I can't help the way I feel.

Fine. I'm jealous. Happy now?

Very much so.

Shut up brain!

"She told me about Blake" I instantly clamp my hands over my mouth as soon as the words left it in shock and Lily's expression apparently mirrors mine, if it's even possible she looks more shocked than me.

I have no idea what I'm doing but I know it's wrong. I shouldn't have done that. It makes it seem as though I'm fishing for answers that I don't have and want to know.

I'm fucked.

"She told you?" she asks with her shock evident in her voice.

Why? Was she not suppose to?

"Is it a problem?" I ask a bit nervously, playing with the rings on my fingers subconsciously.

Her shocked expression quickly dissolves into one of relief and joy and I'm left slightly confused.

"What? No!" she reassures before saying, almost sadly "It's just that- well, you know...after he died, Mia just hasn't been the same and it's a bit shocking how she just opened up to you about what happened and I've been trying for months"

I think my jaw is now permanently glued to the floor.

After he died...

Why didn't I figure this out sooner?! SHIT!

I don't understand. Why didn't she just tell me? Did she not feel comfortable enough? Did I make her feel like she couldn't tell me?

This doesn't make any sense to me. I want her to be able to talk to me about things. I want her to know that I'll always be there for her.

But how can I do that without revealing my feelings for her at the same time?

And just like that, I feel a ton of bricks smack me right in the face.

"It meant a lot to a close friend of mine. He passed away last year and I feel like I'm giving a piece of him away if I sing it"

"Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way we want it to"

"Someone who used to be very important to me"

"Since Uncle Blake isn't here anymore maybe Uncle Harry can be the new Uncle Blake?"

All the signs were there yet I didn't see them.

I feel Lily eyeing me very carefully before she sucks in a breath causing me to look at her.

"Oh crap!" she exclaims "she didn't tell you that he died, did she?"

All I could do is shake my head slowly as I process this new information, with my head in my hands.

I could kick myself for the way I've been thinking lately. The image I had of this bloke and what I wanted to say to him just got flushed away.

Now I'm left with guilt.

It's ironic how I've been saying that he doesn't care enough about her to see that she's not herself when I'm the one who couldn't see that my best friend was mourning the death of her 'supposed lover'.

Oh my god. I've been jealous of a dead guy!

But there's this unexpected sadness stirring up inside of me. I didn't even know the guy yet I feel kind of sad that he's gone.

It doesn't even make me feel as glad as I'd thought to know that my Mia really is single. Now it just makes me feel...guilty.

And to top it all off, more questions arise from this one revelation. You'd think that after getting one piece, I'd be on my way to solving the entire puzzle that was Mia, but it seems that I'm nowhere close to that.

"Aw man! She's literally going to kill me when she finds out!" Lily whines next to me, sounding distressed.

Will this little slip up cause her to lose the small amount of trust she has in me?

The only way to save my ass, as well as Lily's while we're at it, is for Mia to not find out at all. As far as she knows, she thinks that I think that I don't know of Blake's untimely death, somewhere out there, so why not let her think that?

I know, this is messed up on so many levels and mum would give me a serious talking to if she ever found out but I can't help it. This girl is making me rethink my morals just so I know she won't slip away from me again.

I can't help my selfishness when it comes to her.

"Let's make a deal" I suggest before I change my mind "Mia doesn't have to know about this right?" She slowly shakes her head unsurely "Then if you don't tell her...and I don't tell her, how is she going to find out?"

She looks me dead in the eye for a couple of seconds, seeming to be mulling over my insinuation "You sure you want to do this, Styles?"

What choice do I have?

I told her that I'd be patient with her, that I'd be here to listen when she's ready yet here I am unintentionally fishing for answers to satisfy my curious mind.

I see now why mum always hid my Christmas and birthday presents at my grandma's house.

And I only found out about that a few months ago...

So without hesitation, knowing I might regret this in the future, I say "I'm sure"

With a single nod, she announces that she's going to the bathroom for a quick shower and I retreat to my bunk.

Not too long after, the familiar click of the door opening sounds and I perk up, knowing that this time, it's her.

I can tell.

Her soft footsteps echo through the bus as she makes her way down to the back, the sound reminding me of what I decided to do a few minutes ago.

"Hey Lily, I'm back! You wouldn't believe what I just came out of-" she pauses, seeming to have noticed me "I thought you'd be asleep by now"

"What made you think that?" I asked, rising from my position on Lily's bed. An amused smirk appears on her lips when she points towards the sound of a loud snore coming from Zayn's bunk.

"Well I thought you would've been on the bus an hour ago" I countered. Am I coming off as a bit over-protective?

She seemed to be at a loss for words before recovering "I went to get some air after the show then I got a call from an old friend"

I eye her suspiciously "An old friend?"

She nods slowly, avoiding eye contact "Yup. Then I got lost"

Now I know something's up.

Mia de La Rosa does NOT get lost.

I cross my arms over my chest, still eyeing her suspiciously "And this old friend...is why you were acting so weird earlier? When your phone rang?"

I know she's lying to me. She knows that I know that she's lying to me. It's why she's avoiding eye contact. Ever since we were kids, we always knew when someone wasn't being honest. For Mia, it was her eyes, they always gave her away. For me, it was my palms, that start sweating. But I'm not going to say anything only because I know that she probably has a good reason or it's probably none of my business.

"Yup!" she nods affirmatively before adding "And I wasn't acting weird. I was just...surprised"

Of course she was.

I don't know what going on here but I can tell that this is something she doesn't want to me to know and to be fair, there's something I don't want her to know either.

And she's not obligated to report to me or anyone for that matter about who she's been with, where's she's been or who she's been talking to.

Which is why from now on, I'll be patient. When she's ready, I'll be here. I'll be her shoulder to lean on when the time is right.

I just hope she knows that.

Which is why I drop the topic. She seemed a bit surprised that I didn't push her and then asks for Lily. I point her towards the bathroom before she walks away.

Just as I'm heading back to my bunk, Zayn lets out a tired grunt beside me. Thinking he's still asleep, I ignore it and continue what I was doing. That is before I hear him mumbling incoherently. I go to check on him, only to see his eyes still closed with small snores leaving him as he hugs a pillow to his chest tightly.

He lets out another grunt, only this time, his eyes open halfway and he points a droopy finger at me and it lands on my nose.

As I'm moving his finger from my nose, I hear his voice say into the silence of the bus,

"You've been a bad boy, Harreh"

What the hell?

Feeling majorly confused, I slowly close the red curtain of his bunk and turn on my heel, heading back to my bunk.

He didn't hear that conversation, did he?

Nahhh I shake my head with a smile. He was asleep.

So again, I'm back in the position I started in, with my arms behind my head, lying flat on my back, looking up into nothing.

And again, my eyes start drooping as my exhaustion takes over. I'm sleeping alone tonight but a smile still crosses my face because I know that she's still close to me. Only three beds away!

Buzz!

For the second time for the night, my eyes snap open, drawing me out of my sleep. Only this time, by the vibration of my phone somewhere on the bed.

Moving my hand around the small bed in the dark, I pick up the phone and click the power button. My eyes widen to the size of saucers and I have to rub my eyes to make sure that I'm seeing the right thing.

1 Text Message from Squeaky 🐁❤

With my fingers moving at lightning speed, I unlock the phone and read the message.

Squeaky 🐁❤: pssht! U up?

I rub my hand down my face, getting rid of any lasting tiredness from my short nap, wanting to be able to stay awake.

Me: I am now...

A reply comes a few seconds after.

Squeaky 🐁❤: shit! I woke u up? Nvm then, go back to sleep.

Well there's no way I'm going back to sleep now. My curiosity won't let me!

Me: well since u woke me up, it's only fair that u entertain me now.

Is it too cheeky? Does it make me sound arrogant? Too late now, I already sent it!

After that, there was no reply. I lay staring at the screen hoping to see the bubble with the three dots at the bottom of the screen but it doesn't appear and my insides deflate like balloon.

Right as soon as I'm about to give up and try to get some sleep, a reply comes in and I forget all about sleep, grabbing my IPod that was also on the bed and tiptoe towards Mia.

Squeaky 🐁❤: Sleepover?

On the short trek over to Mia's bed, I hear the click of the tour bus door, indicating the boys were back. So I quicken my steps and as soon as I reach it, I pull open the curtains and whisper-yell, "Scoot over!"

"What the hell?!" she exclaims, clearly startled.

"Just go!" I hurry her as I hear their footsteps walking further into the bus.

She quickly moves over, making room for me on the bed and I pull the curtain closed just before the others could reach this section of the bus.

"Why do you have to be so weird?" she hissed into the darkness, the brightness of her eyes drawing me in closer.

"Get used to it, love" I can tell she's rolling her eyes at me right now "So, I brought the entire Abbey Road album right here" I wave the IPod in my hand in front of my face "and cuddles!"

I'm going all in here. I just hope this doesn't backfire. Plus, I'm a sucker for cuddles, especially after the night I've had.

My heart thumps in my chest at the sight of her pearly whites smiling up at me "You're a saint, you know that right?"

"I'm sorry?" I pretend to be baffled, still keeping my voice just above a whisper "Did you just compliment me?"

"Oh shut up Harry!" she playfully shoves my shoulder lightly "go find someone else to annoy"

"Now why would I do that when the only person I want to annoy is you"

I do a mental victory dance, knowing that my flirting is affecting her as she hides her face in my chest.

"Just play The Beatles, Harry...and shut up" she says a bit muffled against my chest and I grin.

Not wanting to push her too much, I do as she says. I give her a side of the headset to put in her ear while I take the other and place it in my ear and press play. We turned to face each other and pull the blanket up to our chins, getting comfortable listening to one of our favourite albums, our eyes never leaving each other's. No words were spoken but they weren't needed. Eyes were enough in that moment.

She stayed awake for a while but her eyes started drooping in the middle of Here Comes The Sun. I watched as she tried to keep her eyes open, fighting to stay awake as I did the same.

When her eyes finally closed shut and her breathing slowed, I gently pulled her body the short distance towards mine, letting her head and her arm rest on my chest. She curled closer, if even possible, to me and I felt goosebumps rising on my skin.

With my arm slung tightly around her waist and the scent of her invading my nostrils, I fell asleep in seconds with a content smile on my face and the faint sound of Paul McCartney in the back of my head.

Little darling, the smile's returning to their faces...