Harry's POV:

I think I fucked up. Big time.

Why did I try to kiss her?

I mean, I know why but why?

God! I'm probably not making any sense. But I can't help it. I'm panicking.

Now she won't even talk to me. Or even look at me. I just made our current situation way more complicated than it already is.

I need to find a way to fix this. I don't like the way we act towards each other now. It's so different and weird and...awkward. We were everything BUT awkward. I need to make this right, no matter how much I wanted to kiss her at the moment. I have to get her to trust me again first.

And if it all goes pear-shaped then.....I don't know. I just know that I can't lose her again.

But I can't dismiss the fact that I've been on a rollercoaster ever since Simon's office.

Mia is like a mystery box that I so desperately want to open. I'm curious to see what's inside. The only problem is if she'll let me. I've come to know that she has these walls up. So high that I doubt anyone can get over them.

Am I going to rise to the challenge? Yes. Yes I am.

Truth is, I never had any intention of hurting her in anyway. Hell, I never thought I'd lose my best friend.

But I did. Because I'm stupid. I'm really starting to think that Gemma might actually be the better Styles.

Nah, the narcissist in me wouldn't let that happen.

I should really call Gem soon. Not only because I miss my sister, don't tell her that, but I also want to know what really happened the day Mia came to visit some years ago.

Mia was quite brief with what she told me and I understand why. Even if she didn't say it, I understood the meaning behind her actions. She didn't want me to feel like shit.

I still feel like shit for having forgotten but not as much as I think I would if she would've told me everything.

To say I was shocked to find Mia in mum's house was an understatement. I didn't know what to think at the time. And when I asked mum she always said,

"That's something you and Mia should talk about with each other. It's not really my place to say, love."

If I ask Gemma, maybe she'll give me the full details. She won't sugar coat it for me.

I can't say that I didn't feel hurt when Mia said she asked them to keep it a secret from me because I did. But I deserved it.

Another thing they kept a secret from me was Mia's daughter. The little bundle of sunshine that can brighten up anyone's day. She reminds me of Mia a lot. Especially when we first met. She's adorably cute and cuddly. And smart as well. I don't know her age but she looks like 5 or 6 yet she has so much life in her. It's amazing to watch her.

I have nothing against teen pregnancy. It happens. It's not a crime. But how could I let Mia go through something like that alone? She didn't tell me but I should've been there like I've always been. I've been a shit friend to her. I let myself get so caught up in this new lifestyle that I completely neglected one of the most important persons in my life who always believed I could do it.

And if that thought wasn't enough to keep my mind from finding the damn off switch then the ring on her hand definitely was. I didn't know she was married or engaged or whatever. I didn't know. Seems like I say that a lot now.

Who is this mystery man? What does he look like? Will I ever meet him? Does he treat her right? Guess I'll have to find out.

I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't feel my heart shatter at the sight of the ring but there's nothing I can do about it. Mia was the first girl I ever liked. She was the first girl I ever had feelings for. I was scared. Terrified. Everytime we video called, I'd feel sick, like I would throw up whenever her face appeared on the screen.

Yes I had it bad. But I was too much of a pussy to tell her anyway.

When she first walked into Simon's office that day, I felt that same sickening feeling. And when I thought that maybe this is my second chance, maybe this time I'll do it right, that stupid ring on her finger is a constant reminder that I was too late.

Once she's happy, I guess, is what I tell myself all the time since I discovered the ring. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though.

Yet you still try to kiss her. Idiot!

Anyway.....
There's a lot of things that I have to find out. Well want to at least.

Like what did she mean that Tia was gone. Gone where? Another country maybe? Why didn't she finish what she was saying about her brother? Why did she sound so bitter when talking about her mother? Why has she never mentioned her dad? Where the fuck did she find this house?

Not to bash anybody or anything, not trying to be disrespectful, mum taught me better than that, but where does a secretary get the funds to buy such a lavish house. With a fucking bowling alley?

Another thing as well is the relationship between Mia and Simon. I could never come up with the best solution to answer that question.

All these questions that I have no answers to. It's driving me insane.

I wonder sometimes if she'll ever tell me if I ask her.

There were a few times when she was with me this week where I saw she let those high walls of hers down for a bit and then they go right back up.

Like both times in the kitchen or when we were talking in her room. Her smile is so beautiful that I couldn't help but tell her. I find myself longing to see it everytime I'm with her. When she laughs as well, it's so infectious that I can't help but laugh with her.

I can tell that she doesn't do it often. This entire week, I've been observing her. Not in the stalkerish way but to get to know her. Like I said, she's a mystery box I want to open.

She thinks people don't pay attention but I do. I saw the way she looked when she came into the kitchen at around midnight. How skittish she was. Well more than usual. She looked so out of it. Tired. And when she looked at me, I saw fear in her eyes. Whether it was from me or something else is what I'm still trying to figure out.

When she left the kitchen with my bowl of cereal and milk, I saw a little bit of my Mia shining through and I couldn't help but feel proud of my myself

When she was going up the stairs, she didn't know that I followed her. She didn't know that I noticed the way she looked around her as if sensing someone behind her and then disappearing into a door at the end of the hall that honestly makes me think of a horror movie. What was she hiding in there?

She doesn't know that I notice the way she acts annoyed with me but secretly likes it when I'm teasing her.

And a whole lot of other things about her that I can think of.

She's the same person I used to know but so different at the same time. Some things have changed but I'm still in the process of figuring out what.

See what I mean. I feel like I'm on a fucking rollercoaster. And I don't like rollercoasters but this might actually be different. Less scary, to me at least. So....why not hang on for the ride?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm lying on the bed in my room for the week. Mia just left. Said she was going to teach a dance class or something. As soon as that front door closed shut, it was like my mind went into overdrive. She has consumed my every thought and in a weird way, I like it.

"Why don't you just ask her out already?"

I look towards the sound of the voice and see Liam standing by the door.

I groan and put a pillow over my face and mumble,"I wish"

I feel the bed dip next to me,"Why not? I don't see the problem."

I stay silent for a few seconds then remove the pillow from my face. I sigh and run my hand over my face.

"It wouldn't work out Liam. We're in the middle of a tour for god sake! After this week...that it's! I won't see her for months. So what's the point?"

He opens his mouth to answer but I cut him off,

"Besides, she's taken anyway," I shrug and look away from him.

"Damn," I hear him mumble and then he says a bit louder,"That sucks mate. It was actually fun to see the way you act around her. She definitely keeps you on your toes." he chuckles.

I watch him confused,"The way I act around her?"

He then exclaims,"Haz, you act like a love sick puppy around her! You don't even try to hide it."

I look down as I feel my cheeks warm up,"Am I that obvious?"

"I'm pretty sure even a blind person could see it." Mia doesn't see it though...

We sit in silence for a few minutes until he sighs and looks at me and says,

"Harry, talk to me. What really happened between you and Mia?"

So I tell him. Everything.

".....and now I can't stop thinking about her. Is that bad?" I ask after letting out everything. It was nice to have someone to talk to about all of this. I know there are others as well like mum and Gemma or even Robin but.....

"Well, for starters you're an idiot," he chuckles and I look down again.

"But at least you're trying to make up for it. I think Mia really appreciates you doing that as well."

"You think?"I ask quietly, a little smile threatening to appear at the mention of her name.

"I think you and Mia are the only blind people here that can't see what's going on."

I look at him confused again,"What?"

He shakes his head,"Nevermind."

"You know, from what I saw in the kitchen yesterday, if you didn't tell me that she isn't single, I would never have guessed."

I hum in response as I don't have anything to say to that.

Suddenly, his tone goes serious as he says,"I just hope you know what you're doing Harry."

"I haven't even done anything yet!" Not that I plan to anyway....that's wrong.

"Yeah okay. What I really came in here for was to tell you that someone's here to see you."

I walk with him towards the door. As he opens the door and I'm about to ask what he was talking about, I'm immediately tackled into a bone crushing hug.

"Ay dios mio, you've gotten so big! And handsome too! But you're so skinny. What on earth are they feeding you?"

A/N
So.... I'm trying this for the first time from Harry's POV.

Let me know if you like it? Please?