The motel James was staying at on Eighth Street was actually pretty nice, for a motel in Tulsa. James wasn't rich but he definitely wasn't poor either. He had his steady job at the coffee house in New York, along with some other side gigs he would pick up late at night. James was smart when it came to money. He always saved and only spent when he had to. For a trip from New York to Tulsa though, it must've taken a bit of a toll on his money situation, but nothing James couldn't handle.

After going to the main office at the motel and asking where I could find James, the manager working there informed me that his room would be the last one at the end of the second floor. I stood in front of the white door labeled '12.' The paint was cheap and slowly beginning to chip.

I had left Dally's room early this morning. He was still asleep so I soundlessly tiptoed my way out before going to my room and throwing on a random sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. I decided to leave my crutches at Buck's, so I could try walking on my own. There was a bit of pain in my chest, but nothing I couldn't ignore and push past. The party from last night was completely gone by now. The bar was a bit of a mess but it always. The regulars, who were always here drinking, were sat at the bar with Buck pouring them drinks. I had told my friend to tell Dallas about my whereabouts in case he asked.

After leaving Buck's bar, I found my legs moving slowly along the cold streets. I stopped at a diner for black coffee and then continued to walk to Eighth Street, when I finally found my destination.

Now, I stood before the door where my friend resided in. I wasn't really sure what I was going to say to him. I felt guilty because he had dropped everything in New York for me, and I was here to tell him that I wasn't going to leave with him. I knew that his decision wasn't really my fault, but I still felt bad about it.

I sighed and held my head high as I decided that it was time to have a talk with James.

Knock. Knock.

The door swung open after a few silent moments, revealing James who stood in the doorway. He took one look at me and smiled. "Hey James," I said. "I hope I didn't wake ya."

James shook his head, no. "I've been up for awhile," he told me. He had always been a morning person, especially because he had to wake up early for his job. "Come in." James stepped to the side of his door and allowed me to walk into his room. It was very clean and neat, completely different from Dally's messy room. James closed the front door and sat on his made bed, while I leaned against the wall across from him. "I'm glad you're here," James said.

"Yeah?" I asked. I was surprised he'd say that after I yelled at him before storming out of the hospital.

James nodded. "I was worried about you. I heard a lot of rumors when I got here. The last place I expected you to be was in a hospital."

"I've gotten myself into a lot of trouble," I said.

James chuckled softly. "Trouble has always followed you.. or maybe it's the other way around." I breathed a laugh and folded my arms together. James met my eyes. "It's different here. It's not like New York."

"Yeah," I agreed. "This place isn't anything like the city." I missed New York a lot. I grew up there and although I think of Tulsa as my home now, the city would always have a special place in my heart. I wondered if I would ever make it back there one day. Maybe I'd take Dally to New York and show him all my favorite places. He grew up there too, so I think it would be a really nice trip. It's too bad that I got myself into the trouble I'm in now. I wish I could just go back to living a normal life.

"Why were you in the hospital?" James asked. "I heard some guys jumped you or somethin'."

"I'm not really liked by many people here, especially the socs," I said humorously.

"The 'socs'?" James interrupted.

"Rich kids," I answered. He nodded in understanding. "Those guys have been jumping me ever since I got here. Every time is worse than the last."

"I can tell," James replied. He stared at my newest scar, but averted his eyes once he noticed that I saw him looking. He of all people knew that I was used to the stares. "What they do to you this time?" He asked.

"Bruised ribs," I said with a small shrug. James gave me a look but I ignored him. "A guy named Bob Sheldon made a hobby out of making my life a living hell."

"Bob Sheldon?" James repeated. His brows furrowed and I could tell that he knew the name.

"Yeah.. you know him?" I asked.

James shrugged. "No, but I heard that he was found dead this morning at some park on the other side of town." My eyes went wide as my suspicions were being confirmed.

Bob Sheldon was the soc that Johnny killed. Bob always picked on Ponyboy and Johnny, so he must've jumped them the other night at the park. I knew that Johnny would never intentionally hurt someone, let alone kill someone, so they must've only had one choice. There is no way the cops would believe boys like Pony and Johnny though. They're just greasers. They'd need someone to back them up and prove that the kill was out of self defense. I could come forward and side with them. Bob and his friends had harassed me multiple times, and I had my hospital records to prove it. I'd be putting myself in risky position though. Who knows if the cops knew about my crime in New York. If it came down to it, I'd sacrifice my freedom for my friends. Dally would be upset with that, but what other choice do I have? I can't let Pony and Johnny spend the rest of their lives in jail for a big misunderstanding. I had already made my life sentence the minute I robbed the bank and ran away.

"You're not involved in this, right?" James questioned. He was skeptical to say the least.

"You really think I'd kill someone?" I asked. In all honesty, I didn't really know the answer to my own question, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out. Maybe if push came to shove and I was forced into a situation I'd do something, but I didn't really like thinking about that. I know I make a lot of threats and sometimes in the heat of the moment I say things, but I rarely ever mean them.

"Right.. sorry," James said with a sigh. He didn't answer my question, but I didn't want him to anyway.

"I wanted to apologize for the other day at the hospital," I changed the subject. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." I shouldn't have yelled at either of them like that, but I couldn't control my anger and frustration. My emotions have been bottled up for so many years and with all of the recent stress and drama happening I feel like my walls are slowly crumbling,
leaving me to fall apart into a million pieces. I can't control anything in my life, not even my own feelings. I had always been so good at keeping secrets and telling lies. My emotions were always tucked away, so I could put on this front that I was tough all the time and nothing mattered to me. It was all a lie though.

"It's okay," James said. I could tell that he was still a bit hurt though. It wasn't my intention to offend him or make him upset. "Have you thought about what I said? About leaving with me and crossing the border?"

"Yeah, I thought about it," I replied. "I'm going to stay."

James' expression dropped into a sad frown. I felt bad for turning him down, but I couldn't leave Tulsa. Not now. Not after everything I've been through here. I had to stay for just a bit longer, and then maybe I could leave again.

"I don't understand," James breathed. "Why would you want to stay here?"

"There's just too much goin' on right now, and I can't leave just yet," I said. I needed to help Ponyboy and Johnny, and I needed Darry and I to be back on good terms again. I can't leave without Dallas either. I don't know what I'd do without him.

"Is this about that Dallas guy?" James asked. He practically spat out Dally's name as if it were poison. His expression changed into one of jealousy and I didn't understand why. "I don't know what you see in him." James complained.

I finally understood why he was so taken aback when he walked in on Dallas and I at the hospital, and why he was so jealous of him now. James had feelings for me. I couldn't believe that I didn't notice before. I guess I have always just been so oblivious towards him. I always thought of James as a good friend of mine.

"You love him," James spoke quietly. His voice wavered sadly and he refused to meet my eyes. "Don't you?"

My breath hitched in my throat, unsure of what to say. 'Love' was such a strong word, one that I had never said to a person before. "I'm sorry," I said softly.

James ran a hand through his short hair. "I dropped everything in New York just to make sure you were alright," he said.

"I didn't ask you to do that, James," I replied. It wasn't my fault that he decided to chase after me.

"I know," James spoke. I think he was more upset with himself than he was with me. James stood up abruptly. "This was so stupid," he exclaimed. "I shouldn't have came here."

"Don't say that," I sighed. "I'm still glad you came. I missed you."

"Please, Diana," James said. "Don't say that. You don't care about me.. not like I care about you."

My lips parted to say something but no words came out. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. He was right. I care about someone else.

"I know you're upset but don't push me away," I tried. James ignored me though. He moved around the motel room, collecting his belongings and shoving them into his duffle bag.

"I don't even know what I'm going to do now," James spoke aloud.

I walked over to him and grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to face me. "Listen to me," I said. "You're going to go back to New York, okay?" James nodded sadly. "When you get back, you're going to continue working at that coffee house. You're to meet another girl, someone way better than me. You're going to save up enough money to get the hell out of that damn city, and you're going to go somewhere really nice. Maybe a small, quiet neighborhood.. I don't know, but whatever you do will be better than what I can give you. Promise me you'll do this, James. Please."

James stood before me completely speechless. He only formed a tight lipped smile and said, "I promise."

I pulled my old friend in for one last hug, before I watched him make his way towards the front door. He opened the door to his room and paused in the doorframe. For a moment, I thought he was going to turn back around, but he never did. Instead, he checked out of the motel, hopped in his car, and left. James drove away with a broken heart, while I hoped that he would fulfill his promise that he made to me.