***clears throat for long rant ☠

seriously did not appreciate the salty comments regarding Spencer during the last chapter. yes what he said to Harry and did was wrong but you guys have to understand that he is grieving too. both Harry and Spencer had different relationships with Scarlett and have known her for different periods of time (Spencer has known her for six years btw), so therefore they'll have different reactions to her death and grieve in different ways.

sometimes, it's important to consider the character and its background before judging and just commenting whatever. so please, I'd appreciate it if y'all don't comment rudely when Spencer apologizes, he's realized his mistakes and is finally apologizing so just appreciate that, be mature and move on.

shoutout to those great people who understand my boo Spencer 💖

Happy Reading xx

t.m.

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S P E N C E R ⛓

   "We need to talk," I spoke firmly, my face holding an expression of seriousness, but also pleading at the same time.

   "About what?" he responded gruffly. "To tell me it's my fault again? I think I've gotten the message," he scoffed with slight anger in his tone, reading to slam the door at my face.

   "No! Wait!" I yelled, jamming my foot between the door and its opening, wincing a bit.

   "Fuck off," Harry grunted in annoyance, opening the door once more to push my foot away, but this time I lodged my arm and half my body through. "Seriously Spencer, I'm tired of hearing-"

   "I've come to apologize," I said immediately, causing Harry to pull the door back in surprise. He gave me a curious look, scrutinizing my face to check if I was being honest.

He finally stepped to the side and opened the door wider. Our gazes connected as I walked into his apartment for the first time ever. I was too busy caught up with gazing around his place to notice the door slamming shut, and him walking past me to plop down onto the sofa.

  I sat on the single armchair next to the sofa, placing my elbows on my knees with my fingers laced together between them. Inhaling and exhaling deeply, I looked him straight in the eye, watching him as he gazed at me expectantly with his large tatted arms folded over his chest.

   "I'm sorry," I said sincerely, deciding that that was a good way to start off my string of apologies.

   "For?" he responded before I could continue.

   "For everything, for blaming you for her death when it wasn't your fault at all," I carried on, trying not to avoid his intimidating gaze as he listened attentively.

   "When did you realize that it wasn't my fault?" he questioned me with a straight look, pale eyes burning into mine with such intensity it was hard to look away.

   "When you told me you tried to kill yourself," I answered sheepishly, averting my gaze to my linked hands. I heard him scoff under his breath. "Look man, I hate the fact that you telling me you tried to commit suicide changed my mind completely about all this. It sucks and I feel guilty as fuck. So believe me when I say I'm sorry because I really, truly am," I spoke sincerely, honesty and regret lacing my tone as I spoke. He gazed at me attentively the whole time, the iciness in his eyes melting by every word I spoke.

   "You really feel that bad?" he spoke quietly, making me nod vigorously.

   "I feel terrible, I mean you watched her...fall. That must've taken quite a toll on you and my words weren't making that any better. Plus, my words were probably what triggered your hallucinations and the other stuff," I told him genuinely.

   "You know about my hallucinations?" he questioned immediately, pulling his brows low.

   "Uh yeah, I was kind of desperate to know if I was somewhat of the reason why you wanted to...yeah," I replied ruefully, running my fingers through my hair habitually. He simply nodded in response, fingers tugging at his lip ring, unsure of what to say.

   "I forgive you," he finally spoke up, causing me to sigh in relief. I was a bit surprised. I didn't think he'd forgive me that easily, but he seems to understand why without me even explaining as much.

   "Thank you, Harry," I expressed my gratitude, making him nod slightly, pressing his lips together. "You're being really understanding about this, I appreciate that."

"It's okay. I understand why you acted like that, everyone has different ways of grieving. You were obviously just mad she died under my watch rather than yours, since you probably have that protective nature over her just like I do," he rambled a bit before he stopped when he noticed me gazing at him strangely. "What?"

"N-Nothing. You've got that really spot on! She was like family to me, and since her father died the need for me to be there for her increased, since I've been her best friend for about six years. She's never had a good boyfriend like you, her last ones were dicks and I was a bit wary about you. Apologies for that," I laughed anxiously, making him shake his head in amusement.

"It's fine, I understand, really. Was there any other reason for why you just stopped blaming me?" he questioned curiously, pursing his lips as I nodded.

   "Yeah, I remembered my last conversation with Scarlett when I was thinking up an apology. I just knew that she would've been disappointed if she knew I was blaming you like this, plus you mean the world to her and the least I could do for her is be there for you now that she's gone," I shrugged lightly, trying to ignore how his eyebrows shot up.

   "She said I meant the world to her?" he questioned quickly, causing a small grin to appear on my face.

   "Not during the last conversation, but definitely during many other conversations," I laughed lightly, causing a tiny smile to appear on Harry's face. "She loved you a lot, Harry," I told him sincerely, making him smile again but only with sadness this time.

   "I love no one but her, I've just discovered recently. But she is far away, and I am here alone," he said solemnly, the pain in his tone making my body flood with pity.

   "You're not alone, Harry," I spoke up quietly. "You have so many people by your side, including me, so don't ever think you're alone."

   "Yeah but without her it feels like I'm alone. Every time I come back to my apartment, I always expect to see her sleeping in my bed, or crying over a sappy movie, or baking or writing in her journal. Every time I shower, or sleep, or cook in my kitchen, I feel like I'm alone, because I used to do those things with her," he sighed sadly, making me nod in understanding.

   "I get you," I uttered, pressing my lips together as we shared a look. "I feel alone too y'know. I don't know any of these people here as well as she did, I only knew her. I felt alone when she was gone for all those months, worried sick, thinking she was dead or something. It was hard because she was the only person I cared about, other than my grandma and my dog, whom both passed away."

   "So, yeah I really feel you Harry when you say that you feel alone. I've known her for ages, for her to just be gone like that all of a sudden, is horrible. It's painful living without her, but not impossible," I told him.

   "You're right. It's not impossible, but it's incredibly hard," he exhaled heavily, running his ring-clad fingers through his hair.

   "Yeah but once we figure out how to then it'll get easier," I responded.

  Harry and I seemed to finally bond once again when he asked me if I wanted to play a few games on his PS4, deciding to lighten the mood again. We spent around two hours playing Uncharted 4, our hatred for each other vanishing for good once we bonded over the game and talked of our old memories with Scarlett. However, it seemed like it was still hard for Harry to do so, talk about Scarlett. So, I just stuck to just telling him about the funny times where she'd go ballistic if she ever died in Black Ops: Zombies and other times like that.

   "Hey, um did you hear the news about her body?" Harry randomly brought up while we took a break. My eyebrows drew together as I frowned slightly.

   "I only know that they never found her body," I shrugged lightly. I found it suspicious on the inside that her body was never recovered even though they searched that goddamn river like a hundred times.

   "Well, they found her body," Harry spoke up, causing my lips to part.

   "Really?" My eyebrows rose high, eyes widening as well.

   "Yeah, but...in pieces," Harry muttered lowly, causing me to frown in confusion.

   "What the fuck?"

   "Yeah that's what I thought too," he responded with a straight look.

   "That sounds like bullshit," I scoffed, before letting the news sink in once I saw Harry's serious expression. "How even?"

   "Sharks. Apparently a load of bull sharks ripped her body apart and it took them a while to find the pieces," he said, swallowing thickly as if speaking about all of this made him physically sick. "They know it's her because they found an arm with the tattoo of The Organization symbol."

   "Man, that sounds even more like bullshit," I refused to believe it, causing Harry to sigh and shake his head.

   "It is what it is," he mumbled, his face stony. "I found it hard to believe at first because it sounded so random and strange. I honestly thought they'd just find her body on the shore or something, but no, it's been ripped apart by sharks."

   "Did they see the face of the body?"

   "No, the flesh on the face was ripped apart so it was unidentifiable. But the head had long brown hair," he said sullenly, bringing his bottle of coke to his lips. "Hey, do you think with the Adamantium in her body, the sharks were able to eat her?" he asked all of a sudden, cringing at his own question.

   "To be honest, I don't think the sharks would eat her with that in her body. But as you said the body was ripped apart into piece, so that means the sharks probably tried to eat the flesh instead of the actual parts of the body. That's probably why the face is unidentifiable, they probably ate the...yeah," I muttered, my voice growing quieter towards the end as I became more and more uncomfortable talking about this topic. "Did they even do a DNA test?"

   "Yeah they did actually. Absalon called two days ago suggesting to do a DNA test to make sure. So I sent them her hairbrush to extract DNA from her hair on it," Harry explained.

   "And?"

   "It was her. The results came back positive. There was even Adamantium in the body," Harry said with a stony look on his face. I simply nodded in response, unsure of what to say. It is what it is.

   "I think I should get going now," I spoke up, pressing my lips together tightly as I broke the awkward silence that had settled upon us.

   "Right, okay," Harry shook his head, as if bringing himself back to reality from his thoughts. He led the way to the front door, me following behind him as he opened it with a tight smile.

   "I'm sorry again, Harry. Especially for saying you should've died instead. I really didn't mean that," I said sincerely, causing him to shake his head with a small smile playing on his lips.

   "It's alright man. The grief is messing with all of us," he told me. "Thank you though," he said, surprisingly.

   "For what?"

   "For, y'know, saying you'll be there for me and we can get through this together and stuff. I really appreciate it," he told me honestly, causing one corner of my lips to curve up.

   "Of course Harry," I responded.

   "Yeah. We should probably apologize to Jade for ruining her support group thing," he also mentioned, making me nod in agreement.

   "We should. I'll see you tomorrow, Harry. Take care," I waved him off.

   "You too, Spencer. Bye," he responded before walking back into his apartment, closing the door behind him.

  I left Harry's place with a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The guilt was still there, but there was also an odd sense of relief now that I had apologized and he had forgiven me. I now was determined to help Harry get back on track with his life, and help him learn how to live without Scarlett. Perhaps along the way, I could learn too.

~-~

N I A L L 👽

  Ever since Spencer had apologized to Harry, and Louis had changed his mind and did the same too, the tension between the three had completely disappeared and things have gotten slightly better. We all decided to give Jade's support group idea another go and it worked surprisingly. Although it was painful to talk about Scarlett, and hear about her from the others, it was almost like something was lifted off of us once we spoke about her, once we shared our memories.

  Jade was doing a wonderful job at organizing the group. As it wasn't an actual support group, all we did was speak out on our happiest and saddest memories of Scarlett. Whenever someone would start crying, Jade would immediately be by her side, comforting the person. There were times where she'd give us advice, or a goal to reach by the end of the week such as go out on a mission, do some training for a day, coach someone, as we all had seemed to stop our daily routines in life just to mourn and grieve over Scarlett's death.

   "Niall?" Jade's voice entered my thoughts, causing me to blink a couple of times when I realized she was actually speaking to me in reality.

   "Yes," I murmured, looking at her with wide eyes. I hadn't really contributed as much to any of the discussions we had lately, mainly because I felt like I really shouldn't have been there because I was the person who was the least close to Scarlett. But Jade had asked me to come, so I didn't want to say no.

   "Perhaps you have a memory of Scarlett to share today?" Jade suggested, gazing at me with kind eyes. I sat up straight in my wheel chair, gripping my plate of peanut butter pretzel and M&M cookies tightly as I gulped. "Only if you want to," she added.

   "It's okay, I want to," I sighed, looking down at my plate of cookies. I should probably put them away before I eat them all.

   "Um I didn't know Scarlett well enough. But during the time I did get to know her, she was the only true friend I had. Let's face it; the numerous times I've spent here at The Organization, none of you guys were my actual friends. I was only there because of God's Eye; I'm still here because of that. Jade and Damien, you both were kind to me, but I felt that it was out of pity due to the fact my mother was suffering from cancer and I had to be here instead of with her, taking care of her," I spoke with hesitance in my voice, hoping I wouldn't offend anybody but everybody just watched and listened attentively.

   "When I heard that she had died on the mission, my heart broke. All I could think about was how alone I felt at the moment. She was my only true friend, and I had lost her," I spoke with a heavy tone, filled with sadness and anguish.

   "Not a day passes by where I don't remember the last conversation we had," I whispered, before I began to replay the memory in my head, but also telling the others of the last conversation between Scarlett and I.

   "Be careful Scarlett," 'I warned her again, tilting my head to press a kiss to her cheek, squeezing her shoulders before I pulled back with teary eyes.

  Her eyes widened when she saw my tear-filled eyes, cupping my face and rolling her thumbs over the apples of my cheeks, wiping the tears away.

   "Aw, Niall please don't cry," she cooed, pulling her dark brows together. "Why are you crying?"

   "Because I'm fucking scared," I laughed in embarrassment, a sheepish grin breaking out on my lips. "For me and you," I added, rubbing my watery eyes.

  I was not only scared, but nervous too. I had no clue about what was going to happen with me today, I could only hope Scarlett's theory was correct. But that wasn't the thing that worried the most; it was Scarlett. I knew I could count on Harry to keep her safe, but anything could happen. She could end up getting hurt, or worse, killed.

  I shook my head, clearing my negative thoughts as I watched Scarlett curse at Romero for interrupting her.

   "Hey, don't be scared okay? We're all gonna be alright. I have to go now, I promise I'll see you again back in The Organization, and we're gonna spend loads of time together teaching you how to walk, okay?" she said with a reassuring smile, cupping my cheeks and placing a light kiss on my forehead.

   "I'll see you again, Niall!" she waved off, and I could only pray and hope that that would actually happen.

  A single lone tear slid down my cheek as I recited a shorter version of our last conversation to the support group, just talking about the words exchanged. Everyone looked at me in pity, obviously staring at my leg as I sighed deeply.

  I continued to talk about how she had helped me stay hopeful and optimistic while we were stuck in that cell for about five days straight with Andrei torturing us. She always tried her best to protect me from Andrei.

   "Whenever Andrei would come to torture me, she simply wouldn't let him. She would take all the hits and blows and just everything that was meant for me. I-I'd cry whenever I'd see her get hurt because it just seriously baffled me how much she cared and didn't want me to get hurt," I sniffled, my eyes watering as I spoke, my voice heavy with emotion.

   "During the times where we were stuck in the cell with no food and water, just trying to survive; Scarlett always told me stories. Some of them were funny ones, of her and you, Spencer," I said, directing my gaze to Spencer whose eyebrows rose up at my words.

   "Honestly, I couldn't care less about what she was talking about, but as long as she talked, it distracted me from the physical pain I was feeling. She always talked about you Harry, and how she regretted treating you coldly before the abduction," I turned my gaze to Harry this time, noticing how his eyes too were slightly watery as he bit his bottom lip to stop himself from allowing the tears to flow.

   "She practically babbled on and on about you," I laughed lightly, a couple of tears slipping from my eyes. I sniffled again, rubbing my cheeks. "She was what kept me going during that time, I was constantly whining about being in pain and wanting to give up, but she just wouldn't let me. She kept me going, so I asked her, 'Scarlett, what is it that's keeping you going right now?'" I said, before locking gazes with Harry once again.

   "She said, 'thinking about Harry is what keeps me going'" I said, watching a single pear-shaped tear rolling down Harry's cheek as he inhaled deeply before averting his gaze.

  Jade ended today's session right there. Again, talking about how something we all seemed to be experiencing at the moment is loneliness, when really none of us were alone and we all had each other. For some reason, most of us feel alone just because of the fact that Scarlett was gone. Every group session was dedicated to one person, and that person if wanted to had to share a few memories and get off whatever was on their chest about Scarlett. At the end, Jade would pick out something from what was said and use it to give advice, just like she did today with the thing about loneliness.

  My hands pushed the wheels of my wheelchair as I moved towards the front door behind everyone else who was leaving. But as Louis passed the door, it began to swing shut and I wasn't able to stop it from closing. But luckily, Harry quickly appeared and held it open for me once again. I shot him a grateful smile, which he gave an acknowledged nod to before I moved out.

   "Hey Niall!" Harry called out from behind me, catching up and walking alongside as I rolled down the hallway.

   "Hey Harry, how're you doing?" I asked him with interest, watching him sigh heavily before nodding to himself.

   "I'm getting better, I guess," he answered with a tight-lipped smile.

   "That's good," I commented. "I guess this support group thing is kinda helping."

   "It is actually," he agreed with a nod. "Hey umm I wanted to kind of offer something to you. Well, not offer more like ugh I don't know how to explain this-"

   "It's okay. What is it?" I asked, finding it interesting how he was all muddled up with his words.

   "Y'know how you said Scarlett told you she would help you learn how to walk after the whole thing with God's Eye?" he questioned, making me frown a little before nodding slowly.

   "Yeah, but obviously she's not here to do that," I responded sullenly.

   "I know, so I was thinking maybe I can help you instead," he suggested, making my eyebrows shoot up. A happy grin made its way onto my face as I began to nod in agreement.

   "Harry, that would be so great," I beamed, making the right corner of his lips curve upwards slightly.

   "No problem Niall. Scarlett would've have wanted you walking instead of sitting on a goddamn wheelchair," he said with a slight grin, causing me to trigger my own.

   "True," I laughed loudly, before clamping my mouth shut. "Sorry I'm just excited, nobody has really had the time to help me walk again. Everyone's just busy busy busy," I babbled giddily.

   "Yeah, well I'm gonna make sure I fit some time for you in my schedule, and I'll text you okay? I need to get some help from Sullivan. Until then, Niall Horan," he shot me a rare grin, waving me off before disappearing into the elevator, leaving me with a grin on my face.

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☠ writing that Niall POV hurt my soul💔 sorry for the rant at the start of this long ass chapter, I just had to get it out of me instead of replying to every comment during the previous chapter. I was pissed, which is probably why it took me long to update.

IMPORTANT 👇🏽

☠ also I really needed to confirm this, but Absalon did do a DNA test on that dead body and it is positive. Also, Vlad and him are not lying to Harry about the whole finding of the dead body and everything. TRUST ME when I say they're not lying. that's all I'm going to say, don't wanna reveal too much.

I love you all 💞

Until we meet again...

t.m.