Chapter 18: UGLY

A/N: *insert 2ne1*
I think I'm ugly and nobody wants to love me~ Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty~

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“Ganyan kahirap makausap si Jean-Claude.”

Napatingin si Trench sa akin. I want to make him feel better but he should know how Jean-Claude is. Daig pa niya ang mga taong may matataas na posisyon sa gobyerno. You need an appointment to talk to him.

“How is he as a brother?” he asked. I replied with a shrugged.

“I don’t know. I never felt it before.”

Tiningnan niya ako ng walang kaemo-emosyon. I heaved a sigh at iginala ang paningin sa palapag na iyon. Nadala na kami ni Doc Aaron sa palapag na iyon kaya alam ko kung anu-ano ang mga naroon.

“Bakit hindi na lamang tayo mag-ikot dito?” suhestiyon ko kay Trench. Nagtatakang napatingin siya sa akin at mayamaya ay bigla siyang napasimangot.

“You’re up to something troublesome again Gallego.”

I raised both arms. “No, hindi ah.”

“Then we should go. This place is restricted, I presume.”

Okay, Trench is always Trench who always abide by the rules kahit pa sa tingin niya ay hindi naman tama ang rule na iyon. For him, a rule is a rule.

Umiling ako. “Not restricted. Doc Aaron toured as around here, remember parte kami ng P:RUM team.” Nakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi. Puto, hindi na naman ako nakapagpreno sa mga sinasabi ko. I should be sensitive about this lalo na at hindi napili si Trench dahil ibinigay niya ang research niya kay Tatsulok. I don’t know why Triangle is acting like a jerk at pinanindigan talaga na sa kanya iyon.

“I see. Mukhang marami ngang nagbago mula nang i-renovate nila ang building na ‘to,” sagot niya.

“How about I’ll tour you?” sana naman pumayag siya at kahit papaano ay mapagaan ko ang loob niya. Well, not totally pero at least he has an idea where his cousin works.

“I’m not part of the team.”

Puto, matigas talaga.

“Break some rules Trench,” nakangiwing wika ko.

“Ayaw ko. Isa pa, it’s not worth the risk. Kapag mahuli tayo, I know Moran won’t hold back in punishing us. I’m sure the renovation isn’t much. Inayos lamang nila ang mga sinira ng mga taong nag-aalsa or maybe they added some embellishments but again, it’s not worth the risk.”

Nakakalokong ngumisi ako. “How about the other floors? This floor is the research lab for Project: RUM at ibang proyekto naman ang nasa ibang mga palapag. How about we’ll check those?”

“No, we’ll get caught--” pinutol ko ang sasabihin niya at humalukipkip.

“Walang bayag.”

His expression darkened and for a while, I regretted saying it. Puto, nakakatakot si Trench ah! His dark expression lasted only for a while. He sighed in surrender.

“Alright.”

My eyes widen due to excitement. “Alright, as in yes?” He only stared blankly at me at ngumisi ako nang nakakaloko. “Alright. Choose a number.”

“Why?” tanong niya.

“Just choose a number between 1-70,” wika ko at bahagyang hininaan ang boses. Mahirap na baka may mga pakalat-kalat na fake astronauts o di kaya ay mga men in black at parinig pa kami. Dating 50 floors lamang iyon but 20 floors were added after the renovation.

“Gallego--”

“Sige na!”

“Fine, 69 then,” pagsuko niya sa kakulitan ko.

“Alright, let’s go to 69th floor,” excited na wika ko at hinila ang braso niya. He was taken aback ngunit hinayaan niya lamang akong dalhin siya sa harap ng elevator. I pressed the buttons bago humarap sa kanya. “First we need to be careful of the surveillance cameras. The security system has improved kaya mas magiging challenging ‘to.”

“I really think we should go--” Hindi niya natapos ang sasabihin dahil bumukas ang elevator doors at hinila ko siya papasok. I pressed 69 on the button at sumandal sa salamin. Tiningnan ko siya mula sa reflection. He’s shaking.

“Are you scared? Takot ka bang maparusahan?” tanong ko sa kanya.

He hid his shaking hands on his back at tiningnan din ako mula sa salamin sa harapan namin.

“I am.” Wow, himala umamin na takot siya. Today, I got another fact about Trench Mariano. He’s honest during frightening moments. Hindi niya ikakaila na natatakot siya.

“So natatakot rin pala ang isang Trench Mariano,” wika ko.

“But I’m scared not for myself. I can take any punishment. I’m scared for you.”

Nanigas ako mula sa kinatatayuan ko. Puto, hindi ko iyon iinaasahan. I know Trench is selfless but I didn’t know his selflessness was extended to me. I thought he’s only selfless when it comes to people he cared the most. Ibig bang sabihin... Puto, ayaw kong mag-assume.

Sumandal siya at hindi inalis ang tingin sa akin mula sa salamin. “I was never scared for myself. Hindi ko alam kung paano matakot para sa sarili ko. But when it comes o Triangle, to Gon... Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang takot na nararamdaman ko. I’m willing to sell my soul to the devil just to keep them safe and unharmed. The same goes when it comes to you.”

I don’t know how to respond. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot sa kanya. Silence filled the elevator and then I was saved by the bell. The elevator made a sound at ilang sandali lamang ay bumukas na ang pinto.

I tried to sound as cheerful as I am. “Nandito na tayo!” wika ko at lumabas. Puto, halos hindi ako makahinga sa loob nang marinig ko ang sagot niya.

Napatingin kaming dalawa sa paligid. Trench noticed the lights that made up the word SURGERY on the wall.

“This floor is about surgeries,” wika niya at luminga-linga sa paligid. “Where should we go first?”

Napatingin din ako sa kaliwa at kanan. Like the other floors, it seems deserted pero tiyak kong may mga tao sa mga silid doon. They must be busy doing their researches or whatever. “Right.”

Tinahak namin ang daan sa kanan. The lab was new and one of the newly added floors. The walls were made of glass and other materials na tiyak kong mamahalin. Meh, hindi ko tuloy maiwasang isipin na kung sana gumawa na lang din sila ng pabahay sa lower wards, mas may pakinabang pa sila.

Maraming pinto roon. We noticed a transparent wall at may iilan ngang doktor ang naroon at abala sa kani-kanilang ginagawa. We ducked on our way as we passed through the transparent doors.

“Gallego, we should go back,” pabulong na wika ni Trench.

“Ano ka ba, nandito na tayo.”

Binilisan ko pa ang paggapang at nang malagpasan ko ang transparent walls ay agad akong tumayo. Una kong nakita ang mga malalaking larawan na nasa dingding. Eh? Bakit may mga malalaking larawan dito? More like posters. They were photographs of beautiful women. Isa sa mga malalaking poster na naroon ay isang babaeng nakahubad at naka-sideview. Her pointed nose and curvy body is definitely something to wish for.

Tumayo na rin si Trench at napatingin sa larawan. His lips formed into a pout as he stared at the pictures on the wall. Puto, don’t tell me...

“Are you about to whistle?” nanlalaki ang mga matang tanong ko. Huh, mukhang sisipol nga siya!

“Am not.” He looked away.

“You are!”

“No,” he crossed his arms and looked back at the picture. “Gallego, at my age, I’ve seen so many naked bodies, be it side view or not. I even examined them closely so I am professional enough to handle these matters. Why would I whistle? Isa pa picture lang ‘yan.”

“Ewan,” sagot ko. Sabagay, pero puto! Lahat kaya ng katawan na nakita niya ay for research and examine purposes only? Or baka may... uh no, ayaw kong mag-isip ng ganoon.

“I personally think that whistling to a woman is rude,” komento niya. Mukhang tama nga ang sinabi sa akin ni Gon dati. “Here’s another one.”

Tiningnan ko ang isa pang poster na tinuro niya. Larawan iyon ng babaeng sunog ang kalahati ng mukha. Half of her face was flawless. May iba pang mga larawan doon ng mga napakagandang babae at mga lalaki. All of those displays perfect body features. At the end of the wall was a certificate na patunay na qualified ang mga doktor na magperform ng surgery.

“This is more like cosmetic surgery than any other medical surgery,” seryosong wika ni Trench.

Biglang may tumikhim mula sa likuran namin kaya sabay kaming napalingon ni Trench. Trench looked like he’s telling me “we’re done for” kaya hinawakan niya ang braso ko at bahagya akong hinila paatras. Humakbang palapit sa amin ang lalaking nakasuot ng lab gown at ngumiti.

“Are you here to ask for cosmetic surgery?” tanong niya sa amin. Bahagya niyang inilapit ang mukha niya kay Trench. He fixed his glasses as he examined him closely. “Well if we based it on Fibonacci sequence hmmm, you will surely get a high score if we use golden ratio. Your face, it could be perfectly symmetrical. Your nose is perfectly shaped! Nothing needs to be changed.”

Trench looks so confused kaya naguguluhang napatingin siya sa akin. Nalipat na rin sa akin ang atensyon ng doktor. He raised my chin with his hand and stared at my face. Wala pang tatlong segundo napangiwi siya. Pusangina.

“On the other hand, you’re way too far from being pretty. Your face isn’t symmetrical. The size of your face and the features doesn’t compliment each other. Ang dami mo ring excessive skin sa mukha.” He lifted my left cheek a little bit. “You need some serious lifting here dear. Kailangan mo rin ng browplasty, your forehead also needs to be smooth---”

Umatras ako ng ilang hakbang. Gigil na ako ah! Did he just explained why I’m ugly?! I mean no, why I appear ugly in his eyes? Puto ah! “Teka lang po ah, hindi kami nandito para sa kung ano man.” Ops, wrong move. Baka parusahan kami kasi wala naman kaming pakay sa palapag na iyon.

“Why? You really need some serious---”

Puto! Last ka na lang dok! Baka di ako makapagpigil! “Okay lang po talaga.” Pinilit kong ngumiti kahit peke. Hello? Makuha niyo pa kayang ngumiti sa taong pinaliwanag sa’yo indirectly na hindi ka maganda? “Isa pa po, wala kaming pera.”

“Money is not the matter here,” wika niya at ngumiti. “This is one of the new services that the Capital will provide to women. Siguro ay alam niyo na ang tungkol sa batas na pinagbabawal ang pagmamaliit at pananakit sa kababaihan, this is something that will somehow help. Based on our studies, women are discriminated because of few things, first their capabilities. Naturally, mas maraming kakayahan ang mga kalalakihan--”

“Fake news,” nakangiwing bulong ko.

“Ano?” tanong ng doktor.

“Wala po,” sagot ko at pilit na ngumiti. Alam kong mas plastik pa sa plastic surgery na pinagmamayabang sa akin ng doktor na ‘to ang ngiti ko ngayon.

“Where did I stop?” tanong niya at inayos ag salamin. “So I was saying, we asked women about their opinion about this and we got the answer that they feel inferior because of their appearance.”

I rolled my eyes. Bakit hindi ako natanong ng katanungang iyon?

“So this is just an alternative to remove this inferiority from women-- through cosmetic surgery.”

Nainig kong bumuntong-hininga si Trench. “Isn’t it risky?”

“Every surgery is risky, I’m telling you. But this is worth the risk,” nakangising wika niya. “Based on the last survey, dumarami na ang mga kababaihan na nagkakaroon ng dysmorphophobia and they became obsessive with the thought that they are physically flawed. Marami ang bilang ng mga taong nawawala sa tamang katinuan dahil dito and 80% of it are women.”

I cursed under my breath. Walang kwenta talaga ang mga pinagkakaabalahan ni Moran. Sige, sabihin na natin na kahit papaano ay maganda ang intensyon niya bakit in-approve niya ito but can he just focus on more useful things?

Naghihirap pa rin ang mga mahihirap. Malaki ang binabayaran ng buwis ng mga mahihirap and that almost take everything in their wages. The taxes that people paid are used to defray the government expenses and projects pero puto, bakit parang walang kwenta ‘tong mga naiisip ni Moran?!

“So, nagbago na ba ang iniisip mo?” tanong ng diktor sa akin. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa katawan ko. “Not a bad size for your front pero medyo mabilbil ka kaya---”

“Okay lang po talaga.” Pusangina kapag talaga ako hindi nakapagpigil!

“Okay,” wika niya. “Hindi pa pala ako nakapagpakilala sa inyo, my name is Doctor Marvin Luther.” Bumunot siya ng isang calling card sa bulsa at iniabot iyon sa akin. “In case you change your mind, don’t hesitate to contact me. You two should go, this floor is restricted lalo na kung wala naman kayong pakay rito.”

“Sige po, salamat po,” paalam ni Trench at hinila ako sa palayo sa doktor. He must have felt that I’m in my zone to talk back lalo na’t pinagpipilitan talaga ng pusanginang doktor na kailangan na kailangan kong magpaplastic surgery. I felt the imaginary black aura around me at tila ano mang sandali ay madudurog na ang calling card sa kamay ko.

“You should keep that card for future purposes,” wika ni Trench na tila pumukaw sa akin. Nasa harap na pala kami ng elevator. He pressed the buttons at giniya niya ako papasok.

Pero teka... Anong sabi niya? For future purposes... Pusangina, isa pa siya!

Naniningkit ang mga matang hinarap ko siya. “Hoy Trench Grande Mariano, don’t tell me uma-agree ka sa sinasabi ng baliw na doktor na ‘yon? Do you really think I need that plastic surgery na iyan? You think I’m that ugly?!”

Wala akong pakialam kung malakas ang boses ko. Wala akong pakialam kung natatapunan siya ng laway ko kasi puto, I really spat when I’m angry. And right now, I really am!

Hinarap niya ako at bahagyang inilapit ang mukha sa mukha ko. He lowered down so that his face can level mine. Nagulat ako sa ginawa niya kaya hindi agad ako nakagalaw. The closed space inside the elevator isn't helpful.

His eyes scanned every corner of my face. “You’re not ugly Gallego, the Capital is.”

I frowned and gently pushed him away. “But I’m not pretty either.” Not that I’m complaining. At least sinabi niyang hindi ako panget, hindi nga lang din maganda.

Umayos ng tayo si Trench at biglang sumeryoso ang mukha niya. “Isa pa, I think something’s not right up there that’s why you should keep that card. It may be useful one of these days.”

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