Chapter 17: We Can Do It

Hindi makapaniwalang tiningnan ko ang bahagya pang umuusok na abo sa mesa. I really can’t believe it. A bomb was just dropped in front of me. Inisip ko kung bakit kailangang magself-destruct ng memory card na iniwan ni Papa to the point na kailangang maging abo pa iyon. The answer I get in my mind is that not to leave trail for me or anyone who wanted to follow him. The things he told me are highly confidential at hindi ko alam kung ano ang pwede kong gawin dahil sa lahat ng mga nalalaman ko.

I wanted to shout in elation dahil sa nalaman na buhay si Gon. Unang pumasok sa isipan ko si Nikon pero bakit kailangan pa niyang magpanggap? Is it their plan? Kung plano man nila, why not inform us?

Lumabas ako ng bahay at pumunta sa kapitbahay. Gusto kong makita si Stella and after what happened, I haven’t heard about her. Nakauwi na kaya siya? Ayos lang ba siya?

Nagtanong-tanong ako sa kapitbahay ngunit hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin si Stella. I was worried about her. Dumagdag pa talaga ang pagkabaliw ni Moran. Mula sa kinatatayuan ko ay natatanaw ko ang mga Capital buses na inihanda para sunduin ang mga matatandang papatayin at ng kanilang mga pamilya. I mumbled a curse under my breath. This is not right. Definitely not right!

Tama. I need to settle some things first before this. Hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip pa at bumalik sa istasyon ng tren. I need to see three people. Hilary, Jean-Claude and Trench. Alam kong mahirap hanapin ang naunang dalawa kaya si Trench ang una kong pinuntahan. After few hours of travel from 3rd Ward to 1st ward ay nakarating na ako sa Academy.

Parang ghost town ang academy dahil sa tahimik ng paligid. It was because of the absence of the students. It’s a little bit eerie but I brushed off the feeling at tumakbo patungo sa District 9 dormitory. I didn’t bother to knock dahil hindi naman nakasarado ang pinto. The receiving area is clear but I know someone is inside the room.

“Mariano!” I called out. I can go upstairs and open the door but I prefer not to. Paano kung may ginagawa siya habang nanunuod ng -- err-- basta. Uh, this is Pentagon’s fault for instilling such thought on my mind. Puto! Or paano kung nagbibihis siya? Okay, I’m hungry but I want real food. Hindi lang basta ulam.

Hindi ko na kailangang tawagin ulit ang pangalan niya dahil bumukas ang isang pinto at lumabas si Trench mula roon. His hair was bed-made na para bang may sumabunot sa kanya. His eyes were a little chinky-- eh? Tulog ba siya? Did I wake him up? He rubbed his eyes before he stepped out of the room.

And holy mother of all puto.

Nakasuot siya ng itim na sando, displaying his flexed arms. Puto, sa mga pagkakataong ito, nagiging thankful ako sa extensive training na ibinibigay sa amin ni Armstrong! I mentally spanked myself for thinking such. Siomai, this is not the time to think about this!

“You’re here,” wika ni Trench nang makababa siya sa hagdan. He still rubbed his eyes and tried to stay awake. It’s a statement than a question but I still nodded as an answer.

“May sasabihin akong importante,” wika ko. His sleepy gesture is a bit distracting kaya pusangina niya marupok ako. “Could you first wake yourself up first?”

Nagtataka siya sa sinabi ko ngunit gayunpaman ay tumango siya. Akala ko ay babalik siya sa kwarto niya at maghihilamos ngunit sa halip ay naupo siya sa sofa na naroon at sumandal. He closed his eyes firmly and for a while, he was a different Trench Mariano. He looked so peaceful with his eyes pressed close.

Trench is still a mystery to me me but one thing is for sure. He values people important to him more than himself. Nakatitig lang ako sa mukha niya at nag-isip ng maraming bagay tungkol sa kanya. Dapat ay nagtatatalak na ako ngayon, I told him to wake himself, not to sleep. But I didn’t do so. Nakatayo lamang ako at nakatitig sa mukha niya.

And I almost jumped off the floor when he suddenly open his eyes, meeting mine! Puto!

Tumayo siya habang kinakalma ko ang sarili ko-- internally. Gone was the peaceful look in him. His eyes aren’t sleepy anymore. It’s back to the dark, blank gazes that he always has.

“Aren’t you supposed to go home?” tanong niya sa akin.

“I... I--” Puto, Sunny umayos ka. “Galing na ako sa 3rd ward. Ikaw bakit nandito ka pa?”

“Wala naman akong uuwian sa bahay,” sagot niya. I regretted asking. Puto, minsan talaga gusto kong sapakin ang sarili ko eh. “You said you want to tell me something.”

Tumango ako sa kanya pagkatapos ay inilibot ang paningin sa paligid. “Is it safe to talk about it here? It’s something important.”

His eyes scanned me for a while as if he’s trying to read my thoughts through those gazes. Mayamaya ay tumango siya at humakbang papunta sa hagdan. “Follow me.”

Tahimik lamang ako na sumunod sa kanya and then he opened a door-- eh? Puto, kwarto niya? My eyes widen when he opened the door widely. “Pumasok ka.”

“T-that’s your room...”

“And it’s the safest room here in the academy. I installed devices and alarms that triggers if there are bugs, intruders or anything.”

I swallowed hard. Ako lang yata ang nag-iisip ng masama, puto anong pinag-iisip ko?

Nang makapasok ako sa kwarto niya ay iginala ko ang paningin sa paligid. Now that I noticed it, it was Pentagon’s old room! Tiningnan ko ang sahig kung nasaan ang mesa at sa ilalim niyon ay ang butas sa ceiling ng kwarto ko.

“It’s Gon’s room,” wala sa sariling sambit ko.

“Yup, so installing isn’t hard. May mga naiwan siyang device. I don’t know if he really left it or nakalimutan niya.” Mababakas ang lungkot sa boses niya.

“He probably forgot it,” sagot ko. “Tungkol kay Pentagon ang sasabihin ko sa’yo.”

I saw him stiffened for a while. Maybe it’s something he didn’t expect o di kaya ay muli niyang naramdaman ang sakit ng pagkawala ng pinsan niya. He loves him so much. He loves him more than himself.

“What’s about him?”

“Umuwi ako ng 3rd ward and papa wasn’t there pero may iniwan siyang memory card sa akin, telling me that Gon isn’t dead,” wika ko.

Kumunot ang noo niya. “Where’s that memory card?”

“It self-destruct.”

“That’s wise,” wika niya. “Then where’s Gon?”

Ramdam ko ang excitement sa boses niya. But along with the excitement is caution. Nowadays, it’s hard to trust kaya kahit papaano ay naiintindihan ko si Trench.

“He didn’t tell me,” sagot ko. “Pero sabi ni Papa, malamang nakita ko na siya. He’s someone that I didn’t recognize.”

Trench heaved a sigh at saglit na nag-isip. Somehow I wished I know what’s running on his mind as of the moment. Nakuha ko ang atensyon niya nang muli akong magsalita.

“I think he’s Nikon.”

Humigpit ang pagkakakuyom niya sa kamao niya. I didn’t notice him balled his fist until now. He gave me a questioning look so I felt the need to explain my point.

“Nang una kaming magkita, he walked towards me and put his palm on my head. Ginulo niya ang buhok ko at sinabing that’s my kitten. It’s something that only Gon would do--”

“Pentagon does that in public kaya maraming nakakakita na maaring gumaya. It doesn’t mean that he’s Gon,” mariin na wika niya.

“He knows about Gon’s lost memories!”

“And Gon doesn’t!” bahagyang tumaas ang boses ni Trench. “Can’t you see? That alone is very contradicting. Alam niya ang mga nawalang alaala ni Pentagon, and Pentagon lost it. Do you think that makes sense?”

Oh. Right. He has a point.

“P2 is controlled through simulation kaya posibleng may naipon silang memory. I once heard Mom talked about memory bank kaya marahil doon nalaman ni Nikon ang tungkol doon. You cannot just assume that he’s Pentagon.”

“Pero--” pinutol niya ang tangka kong pagprotesta.

“Believe me Gallego. He’s not Pentagon. I know my cousins more than I know myself.” His voice cracked at napayuko siya.

Pusangina, don’t tell me I will witness another crying Trench? Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang balikat niya. Dahil nakaupo siya, I wanted to tip his head up and dry his tears but I prevented myself from doing so.

I might confuse him just like how I confused Triangle before. Kapag pinakita kong concern ako, baka isipin niyang gusto ko siya. I did. I liked him before. Or maybe it’s an infatuation. I still like him but not the way I thought before. I like him when he said he’s ready to run. I like him when he said he want to do things right. I like people who fight for what’s right.

Pero puto, hindi ko muna i-entertain ang like-like na ‘yan. Capital muna bago landi.

So because I don’t want to confuse him, a tap on his shoulder would be fine. Pero nagulat ako nang kinuha niya ang kamay kong nasa balikat niya. He pulled me closer at niyakap ako mula sa tiyan. He buried his face at my side.

Bigla na lamang bumukas ang pinto at pumasok si Tatsulok. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at balak sanang lumayo kay Trench ngunit siya na mismo ang kumalas nang makitang bumukas ang pinto.

Normally, Triangle would be throwing dark glares pero wala. Walang emosyon ang kanyang mukha at wala man lamang bakas ng pagkagulat nang makitang nasa loob ako ng kwarto ni Trench. Nasa LOOB kami ng KWARTO. Puto.

“I came to pick up the titanium dioxide filter that I asked you,” wika niya sa pinsan niya. Nilagpasan niya lamang ako ng tingin. His glance didn’t last even for 0.001 seconds. Siomai.

“On the table,” pormal na sagot ni Trench. Agad na napatingin si Tatsulok sa mesa at lumapit doon. He got something that was placed on the table at muling lumabas ng pinto. Bago lumabas ay muli niyang nilingon si Trench.

“The mandatory death will be this afternoom sa Capital Circle,” sabi niya bago tuluyang lumabas ng pinto.

Nanatili akong nakatayo at ilang beses na kumurap. Gusto kong habulin si Tatsulok at sabihing ‘it’s not what he thinks it is’ pero puto, hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang iniisip niya.

“I... I need to tell Triangle about Gon,” wika ko at hindi pa man ako nakakahakbang ay hinawakan ni Trench ang braso ko. I looked at him with confusion.

“Let’s just confirm first kung totoong buhay si Gon o kung nasaan man siya o sino siya ngayon,” he said with a sigh. “Triangle suffered so much pain about his twin’s death. I don’t want to give him another heartbreak if this isn’t true.”

Mahinang tumango ako. Sabagay tama si Trench. Triangle suffered a lot. At ayaw kong maranasan niy ulit iyon. I remember what Gon told me before. Triangle is a lost kid who hides his soft self through piercings and his smirk.

“Pupunta ka ba sa Capital Circle?” tanong ko. The right question I have in mind is that ‘titingnan mo ba ang mga matandang papatayin?’ Hindi ko alam kung ano ang side ni Trench sa usaping pero tiyak kong ayaw rin niya sa ideyang iyon ni Moran.

“Moran is getting out of bounds,” he replied. “Hindi na tama ang ginagawa niya.”

“Iyan din ang iniisip ko pero hind na siya natatakot kahit na mamamatay siya.” I’m afraid that everything we fight for will come into waste. The lives of the people, our tears, our sweat... all those miles we ran... ayaw kong masayang iyon.

“Don’t worry Gallego, we’ll find a way to repel his authority,” buo ang loob na wika niya. “We can do it.”

His voice has conviction ngunit wala pa ring kasiguraduhan sa mga mangyayari. Tumayo siya mula sa kinauupuan at binuksan ang kanyang cabimet. I immediately looked away when he took off his sando and slipped on his black shirt.

"I have a favor to ask," wika niya.

Pinigilan ko ang sariling lumingon sa kanya. "Ano?"

"Samahan mo ako sa kapatid mo."

I cringed. Kapatid ko na kapatid din niya. "Kay Jean-Claude?"

"May iba ka bang kapatid?"

I rolled my eyes. Oo na, ako na ang engot minsan. I heard his footsteps from behind at mayamaya ay nasa harap ko na siya dala-dala ang kanyang backpack. "Let's go."

Lumabas kami sa kwarto niya at tuloy-tuloy lamang siya sa pagbaba. Gusto ko sanang itanong kung bakit gusto niyang makausap si Jean-Claude ngunit napakaseryoso niya kaya naiilang akong magtanong.

***

Wala pa ring nagsasalita sa amin hanggang sa marating namin ang research lab. Habang lulan kami ng elevator ay pinakiramdaman ko si Trench. Tahimik lang din siya at tila malalim ang iniisip.

When we stepped outside ay saka lamang ako nagtanong sa kanya.

"Why do you want to talk with Jean-Claude?"

Tumigil siya sa paglalakad at nilingon ako. "It's something important."

"Sa tingin ko ay mahirap siyang hagilapin-- no, mali. Mahirap siyang hingan ng oras para kausapin," wika ko. Hello? Immune na dapat ako sa pagiging ganun ni Jean-Claude pero sa tuwing binabalewala niya ako, nasasaktan pa rin ako.

"He will talk to me, after all kapatid din naman niya ako."

"But that's not how Jean-Claude is," nakangiwing wika ko. Sabay kaming napalingon ni Trench nang makarinig kami ng boses mula sa likuran.

"Are you here to make trouble again Sonia?" dumagundong ang boses ni Jean-Claude sa palapag na iyon. Puto! Puto! Ito na nga ba!

Before I was able to answer, Trench stepped forward. "No, I asked her to come with me. I need to talk to you."

Kung gaano kalamig ang mga tinging ibinibigay ni Jean-Claude sa akin, gayundin ang ibinigay niya kay Trench.

"My schedule is packed so I cannot spare time for some chat," malamig na sagot niya.

"This is important," pagpupumilit ni Trench. Now that I noticed it, magkapatid nga sila. Parehas silang walang emosyon, parehas na malamig, parehas na matalino.

"I have more important things to do," sagot ni Jean-Claude bago niya kami nilagpasan.

Laglag ang balikat na bumuntong-hininga si Trench. He unbelievably looked at the way where Jean-Claude passed. I know he's frustrated and angry the way Jean-Claude treated us. Marahan na tinapik ko ang likuran niya kaya napatingin siya sa akin.

"That's what I'm talking about," wika ko sa kanya.

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