Gemma_Clark posted five minutes ago...

"I think posting this photo as promo for tonight is fun considering my outfit tonight is inspired by the see through lace dress Livia wears in the movie." I said to Tom as he helped me zip up the back.

"It's inspiring me too, Love." Tom teased me as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Mr. Snow..keep your hands to yourself or we'll be late for our own premiere." I teased him as he kissed me.

"I can't help it...you look incredible." He blushed. I couldn't help but stare at my boyfriend the same way he was staring at me. Since Tom and I talked in New York...were spending more time on top of each other than having conversations. Can you blame us I didn't speak to him for weeks. I missed  every part of Tom and I needed him to know how much.

"You're going be every girls tiktok thirst trap in that babe. I can't say I mind, I love watching them and saying MINE out loud. Also, have you seen the premiere present Rachel got me?" I giggled as I ran to grab the box from my suitcase. I turned around holding an "I can fix him" Coriolanus Snow crop top. "Is this not the best thing you've ever seen." I said.

"Please tell me you're going to wear it to at least one premiere." Tom said smiling.

"I was thinking about it for the New York one actually. The shirt with a cute leather mini skirt. I think that gives Livia and her love for Snow. Both falling and on top." I said as we headed out the door. We were definitely going to be late to this premiere but I didn't mind five more minutes without cameras in our faces.

"I wish I could get on top of you right now." Tom said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Same...something to look forward to for later." I teased him.

"Babe are you excited to see your movie?" Tom asked as we walked down the hall holding hands.

"Excited....and anxious...I really hope I brought Livia to life the way Suzanne wanted. I know she told me she saw some scenes. And that's why she wrote the Queen of Disaster. But this is Livia's introduction. This is a big deal." I said as we got in the elevator.

"You were absolutely magnetic Gem. You were a tough act to follow." Tom complimented me.

"Tom...I saw that scene with you and Viola and lost my cool. You two just play so well off each other's emotions. I was speechless." I said as we got off the elevator and braced ourselves for all the cameras outside our hotel room. This was our first public appearance since Tom and I had "taken a break" if you want to call it that. We never officially spoke on it because I didn't want it to be true. And Tom worked tirelessly to prove to me it wasn't. That's love, if I ever doubted it now I knew without a shadow of a doubt now.

"She's a icon, I don't know how she does it. Dr. Gaul has to be one of the most terrifying villains in the Hunger Games universe." Tom said as he grabbed my hand. "Ready?" He asked as I stared out the front door of the hotel. A sea of cameras watching our every move as I nodded and followed him out the door.

"Gemma! Over here!! Tom looking good! Nice to see you two back together!" One of the cameramen said. I could see Tom was already getting visibly annoyed.

"We never broke up." I said back as he opened the car door for me.

"And this is the last time I'll speak on this...I never cheated. Gemma and I know the truth. That's all that should matter." Tom said as he got into the car with me. My whole body shook with nerves as we pulled away from the hotel. Tom placed his hand on my knee. "You okay?" He asked.

"I just feel like...I'm not allowed to be happy. I don't know what to do." I started to bawl my eyes out. It came on so suddenly it was like I couldn't stop it. One comment had me spinning out and the night hadn't even started yet. "I think I'm going to be sick." I said telling the driver to stop the car. I got out in the middle of hollywood boluverard, stumbling my way into a back alley and finding a trash can just in time. I felt Tom behind me as I threw up everything I ate that day. He held my hair back for me. Sweat mixed with tears dripped down my face as Tom used his free hand that wasn't holding my hair to rub my back.

"I'm so sorry Gem." He said.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Tom, I just had a panic attack. I don't know...I just haven't been around press and paparazzi in a while. I just wasn't prepared for the immediate third degree." I said as I stood up. Tom wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Feel better?" He asked.

"No...worse actually." I said as I hugged him.

"Don't worry, I got you." Tom said as he walked me back out of the alley and over to the car. I rested my head on his shoulder the rest of the way.

"3 minutes out." The driver said giving Tom and I the notice of how long we had to be carpet ready. I popped four mints, fixed my hair and reapplied my mascara and lip gloss. I took one more deep breath and felt Tom's hand on my leg.

"I'm right here, you're not alone. This is your night Gemma Clark. I want you to feel like a princess, you worked hard you deserve this." Tom said. I nodded in agreement. That's how I should've felt but the problem with that was...I wasn't allowed to. My scarlett letter from Chase would follow me into every relationship. I didn't deserve anything good, so either I was cheating or the man I loved was. That was my reputation. And it was becoming increasingly hard to be the "cool girl" about it all. Even Livia Cardew broke down behind closed doors.

"Pulling up now, Tom's door on the right...he will get out first. Then Gemma." I heard the driver being given instructions from our publicists over his phone.

"You got this. I got you." Tom said as the car stopped. I took one more deep breath and plastered a smile on my face as Tom got out of the car. He reached his hand out for me. I took it and stepped down onto the carpet. Within seconds 45 cameras were on us as we began to walk the carpet.

"The stars of the Hunger Games: Royal Bloodline have just arrived! The moment you've been waiting for Tom Blyth and Gemma Clark are on the carpet!" I heard an E! NEWS reporter say into her microphone as the cameras panned over to Tom and I.

"Gemma! Over here!" One the cameraman said as Tom and I made our way to solo shots. I stood there in my see through black lace bodysuit and held a smile on my face through photos, interviews and catching up with the rest of the cast. When the announcement was made for everyone to start entering the theater I made my way to where wardrobe was set up to change into my second outfit to introduce the movie.

I stood there while two wardrobe girls struggled to lace up the back of my corset. "I'm worried this is the wrong size?" One of the whispered back to the other.

"No the measurements we took down for her are right. I'm thinking maybe she gained a little weight. Which is good!" The other girl said back to her.

I was standing right in front of both of them as they continued the conversation of how they were going to try to fix it. I was starting to feel sick again, and I knew any second I was going to throw up. "Hey...it's fine. You guys can go. I'm not feeling very well. I just need to use the bathroom quick." I said excusing myself half dressed as I locked myself in the single bathroom. I sat on the floor next to the toilet barely making it in time. That's when I realized something...I was late...and not just for the movie introduction. I was late and I was so sick...and nothing fit.

Tom started knocking on the door 10 minutes into my spiral. "Angel...are you okay?" He asked. "Something you ate maybe?" He questioned me through the door. Only I hadn't eaten anything because I couldn't keep anything down. I was so weak I struggled to get up off the floor in my robe I was wearing. I unlatched the door and Tom took one look at me and knew there was a problem. He closed the door behind him. "Gem...what's going on?" He asked looking at my grey sweat covered complexion.

"The outfit I was measured for a few weeks ago didn't fit...the wardrobe girls were lost on what to do, in the middle of them trying to lace up the corset I started to feel sick. I made them leave and i was throwing up again....I realized something. I'm late Tom..." I said as he stared at me.

"That's okay Gem, they'll wait for us." He said not realizing what I meant.

"No Tom....I mean I'm sick and nothing fits and I'm late." I said looking at him again with tears in my eyes this time. It took him all of 5 seconds to realize what I meant. He pulled me into the biggest hug and kissed the top of my head.

"We're okay Gem, this is okay. Don't panic. I love you. Even if this isn't in the order of events we wanted it to happen in...we got this. Here's the plan for now. I'm going to give you my jacket. You can wear it as a dress so you're comfy. I'm gonna get you some gingerale and crackers, we're going to watch the movie. Then on our way home we'll get you a test and we'll go from there. Sound good beautiful girl?" He asked. I nodded as he wiped my tears with his pocket hanky.

"This just isn't what I wanted now. We're shooting another movie I..." stopped realizing I was going to be sick again. Tom sat on the floor next to me and held my hair.

"Let's just get through tonight, take the test and we'll go to the doctor this week. Okay? You're not going through any of this alone." Tom said as he helped me get changed. I nodded but I was terrified at the same time. Even if when i looked at Tom I saw a future. I saw all of it and kids were included in that picture. So if we didn't do it in the order I wanted...that's just life I guess.

"And there they are! We considered starting the movie without you two!" Francis teased us as Tom and walked up on stage.

"Sorry about that! I had a little wardrobe issue, so Tom lent me his jacket. Such a gentleman." I said as i stared up at him.

"Thank you all for being so patient this movie is a labor of love, it was a honor to work with everyone in this film. But I can't really explain how life changing it was to play alongside Gemma Clark. She's professional, funny, charming, one hell of an actor and I would be lying if I didn't include how beautiful of a person she truly is inside and out. Thank you for letting Coryo into Livia's world...sorry for all the trouble he's going to get her into...oh and sorry about me too." Tom said half joking as he turned his direction toward me. I started to tear as I stared up at him.

"Coming into a cast as tight knit and fantastic as this one, i assumed would be nothing short than intimidating. But from day one I was greeted with open arms by all of them. Actually before day one...I was greeted with open arms by Tom himself because we were seated next to each other on the flight to Berlin. And thinking back...I feel like Francis set us up." I said getting a wink from Francis and laugh from the audience. Tom is one of the most poised, professional, sweet, goofy, hilarious, loving and I have to say it...gorgeous people I have ever met. I'm sorry I had to say it. I can't imagine my life without him in it. As you watch this film I'm sure a lot of you will be wondering...what was the single moment it stopped being Coryo and Livia and started being us. Thank you to our incredible cast and crew...and as we always say at end of every set day. Snow lands on top!" I said as the crowd cheered and film started.

Tom and I sat down next to each other in the front row. "How are you feeling?" He whispered in my ear.

"Tired...really tired." I said. He nodded still so calm it was shocking. How did he not feel like our entire lives were about to change? Why was he not upset? Not that I would've liked that reaction if he was, considering this was both our fault.

"Rest your head on my shoulder, I'll let you know if you miss any good parts." He teased me as I cuddled into his chest.

"I can see the headlines now...Gemma Clark falls asleep at her own movie." I joked. Tom wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.

"How about Gemma Clark deserves to rest." He said back to me.

"Finally a headline I can get behind." I said back as the title rolled. Watching the movie took me back to the start of Tom and I's relationship. Our first time hanging out, grabbing coffee...staying up all night watching disney movies. A true friendship that blossomed into love. I watched the scene of Coryo kissing Livia for the first time in the courtyard. The moment my crush on Tom started to go full throttle.

"That's when I fell in love." Tom whispered in my ear as we watched the scene.

"Me too." I said back. When the movie was over we shocked everyone by not going to the afterparty. In fact if the cameras wanted to find us, Tom and I were in disguise at cvs. And I was back in full panic mode. As soon as we got back to the hotel I went in the bathroom and I took 10 tests to tripple double make sure.

"Gem..." Tom knocked on the door after he heard silence for too long.

"Come in." I said as he opened the door.

"Well." He said as i lined all the tests up.

"Positive." I said. "All of them." I cried. Tom hugged me and kissed me over and over again.

"Like I said before...we got this." He said. "It's not like I wasn't going to marry you Gemma. There's no one else for me but you. You are my life. Starting a family was always in the cards...the order of the deck just got shuffled." He said as he ran his hands through my hair to calm me down.

"I'm scared." I said as I wrapped my arms around him.

"Don't be, I'm with you. I'm here for you. We're in this together. I'll be brave for both of us." Tom smiled at me.

"You really want this?" I asked.

"Only if you do. I want whatever you want Gemmy" He said back to me. He was saying everything I wanted to hear and more. I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend. Tom was going to make an incredible father. I just wish i thought that about myself as mother.

"I do. Especially with you. I just...I can't believe it." I said. "You and I are going to be parents." I started to cry again as Tom wrapped his arms around me. He was genuinely excited and the more we talked about it, the more used to the idea I got. We were already living together, and by the time I started to pop we'd be done filming Queen of Disaster and could stay in London. Maybe even buy a house there. It sounded like a fairytale...and if I really knew anything about those..they never came true.

With all of the commotion regarding this new part of Tom and I's life I didn't even think to talk to Chase at the premiere. In fact I didn't even stop over to say Hi at the after the movie. But life had become bigger than a photo of Tom that was edited. It wasn't just me who I had to worry about anymore. Everything was about to change.