gemma_clark posted 1 hour ago

The first day on set I spent most of the time in wardrobe perfecting the Livia Cardew style. She was a preppy rich princess, with a wafy figure who wore tight skirts, wildly eccentric dresses and very high heels. I decided since the news broke I had gotten the role, it was time for me to show off a little. See the slut can act! I'm going to be in a Hunger Games movie. That's what I wanted to scream from the roof top. But I was classier than that. I had one of the stylists snap picture of me right before my first scene of the day with Tom. She caught my reaction to seeing him walk of his trailer in the blonde wig.

We spent most of the morning working on a scene that takes place in the middle of the movie where Coriolanus asks Livia to marry him. It was great scene to start off with because I really got to play around with a lot of different emotions. And I mean Tom was Julliard trained so he was effortless at the role. When Livia finally agrees Coriolanus pulls her in for a kiss and at first she pulls away. But then it hits her she may actually love him so she kisses him again. Tom and I had spent the last two days getting to know each other, but the way he kissed me made it seem like we'd been together forever. It was indescribable, and luckily that was how Livia felt. So the barely required any acting at all.

When we broke for lunch Tom joined me in my trailer to run lines and work on our next scene we were shooting later tonight. "You were amazing this morning, so professional and effortless." Tom complimented me.

"Thank you but I had to keep up with you...it's insane how you don't miss a beat." I said back to him.

"It definitely helps when you have a great scene partner." He smiled at me. I was nearly flush still picturing the kiss in my head. How will it would look on screen was the least of my concerns because I was very into it. Tom's incredible acting may have fooled me enough to think that he was too.

"Aw thank you again, I think the outfit really helps me get into character." I laughed. Tom nodded in agreement as I played with a piece of white blond curly hair that had fell against his forhead.

"The wig does the job for me." He laughed.

"I'm pretty happy Francis chose to bring this one back. I loved it in the first film." I said.

"You saw it?" He asked.

"Of course, I got invited to the premiere but my film schedule for OBX didn't workout." I said back to him.

"You're going into your fourth year on the show right?" Tom asked.

"Yes and the way the story arch is going we're supposed to get six seasons out of it. And I'm contracted for six seasons no matter how exhausted I am." I said back to him.

"I'm guessing the fact that your co-star on the show being your ex probably doesn't help with that." Tom said back.

"Yeah that definitely ruined filming this last season for me. You know we tried to work through it, we even tried to get back together when we were on location in Barbados. I was going to forgive him but I found out he was seeing other girls behind my back in LA. Look I know may have not been the easiest person to date, I had baggage but to cheat instead of telling me there was a problem. I was humiliated because I found out from an Instagram DM. Not even from him. And he denied it for a week before finally admitting it. I thought maybe we could be amicable and not talk about our split until it went live that I cheated and broke his heart with some random person at a bar. You know what he said when I confronted him about it, management wants to preserve his image for show ratings. My character on the show is more likely to cheat anyway. That was the explanation I got. Now the world hates me and Sarah Cameron. And I don't know what to do. Look at this for example." I said showing Tom the photo I just posted to Instagram.

"I saw it, see there's my comment." He laughed as I noticed it. "Sorry I love being cheeky on instagram." He continued.

"Oh no please keep the compliments coming for every one of those I get, I get 12 SLUT, whore, no talent, loser, fat cow." I sighed. Tom started scrolling the comments on his phone and saw one he really didn't like.

"I usually wouldn't do this..." He said as he hit send on a response to a troll comment.

"Thank you for standing up for me. Honestly none of the cast from my show has said anything. I mean see Madison commented asking if I'm doing okay. Because she knows the truth..but she won't say it either. I saw Rachel's comment and just about blacked out." I continued. Tom laughed as he scrolled his phone.

"Look at our text thread" He said handing me his phone. "She's pretty much obsessed with you. Her and Josh are rewatching season 3 of Outerbanks currently. Francis told us he was going to ask you to play Livia and Rachel fell out of her chair. So you have Lucy Gray Baird's approval. That's better than most of the world." Tom said placing his hand on my knee.

"You're right...it's just so hard to not be able to tell the truth. If I had cheated then I would understand the hate. I just don't know how much more I can take before I completely break." I said feeling tears start to form in my eyes. Tom leaned into hug me and something happened. It was like a spark. It felt right having his arms wrapped around me. And I was terrified that my vulnerability had blinded me and convinced me that somehow Tom felt the same way.

"I know what will help you take your mind off of it. Let's go over the gala scene." Tom said we pulled our scripts out. We had worked through every line leading up to when Livia and Coryo leave the room to go have sex on the President's desk that would soon be his.

"You know I've never done a sex scene before, the closest I've ever came was my bra and underwear. I'm kind of anxious." I said to Tom.

"Oh my god don't be, I promise we'll make it as comfortable and easy as possible. Also if you're not comfortable I'm sure we can talk to Francis about changing the scene." Tom said back to me. He was being so sweet and was probably worried I didn't think I could fake an intimate scene that intense because I didn't feel that for him. The problem wasn't that, it was the fact I was worried it would be obvious I did.

"Oh no, no need to do that...I really like to challenge myself. After all this is a big moment for Livia. She announces her engagement, she deserves to get rocked." I said making Tom laugh.

"Alright but even if we start filming it and you change your mind in the middle let me know." He said offering me another out. I nodded politely as we went over the rest of the scene and it was time to head back to set.

I was getting my hair done when my phone rang, it was Chase and despite my better judgement I picked up. "Chase I'm on set right now I can't talk." I said back to him about to hang up.

"Just 5 minutes please." He said back.

"Fine your down to 4 minutes and 40 seconds." I said as he began talking.

"Gemma I know how much I hurt you and I'm so sorry. But our public relations team want you to acknowledge the rumors and apologize for your part in the break up. They think it will really help boost the show following. I know this is shitty but will you just think about it?" Chase asked. I was speechless, now OBX wanted me to publicly apologize for cheating on Chase when he was the one who cheated on me. I deserved all the sympathy that he was getting.

"Chase you were the one who broke my heart, we were together for 2 years and you cheated on me at a bar. With some random girl that had the nerve to DM me with photo and video evidence. This is no way I'm fucking lying and saying it was other way around." I said back to him.

"Gemma the showrunner is insisting you do it or he will be forced to limit your part in season 4 because of the backlash you and the show are getting from it. I know I fucked up but this could all blow over if you apologize." Chase said.

"Limit my part? I'll do him one better, Chase tell Daniel I quit. My agent will be in touch with the show to tie up any lose ends regarding my payout." I said as I hung up. The show that made me was now kicking me to the curb if I didn't lie. I guess it was time I left anyway. I'm sure they'll write me off like I died tragically or decided to go find Rafe and break the news about Ward to him. Maybe they'd even just replace me with another actress to play my part. Chase could date her and cheat on her next. I got out of hair and makeup, hurried to wardrobe to get my ballgown fitted and it was off to set. The second I saw Tom smile at me, I calmed down. I would've ran up to him but Livia only wears 6inch heels. So a slow and steady pace to meet the future president it was.

"You look incredible." He said giving my extravagrant dress the once over.

"You clean up pretty nice yourself President Snow." I teased him. Tom and I powered through scene after scene until we reached the end of the night in the Presidents quarters. The intimacy coordinator showed Tom how to effortlessly snap the buttons on my corset so the dress would fall to the floor and I'd be standing there in a slip. We practiced a few times until it was perfect. While the cameras reset Tom and I caught up. "So Chase called me." I said as Tom's smile fell to a frown.

"Trying to win you back?" He asked almost in a ruffled tone.

"No he was calling to tell me the show runner wants me to publicly apologize for cheating, and if I don't they are going to be forced to limit my part in season 4 and future seasons after. Apparently due to all the backlash I'm getting. It's effecting the show." I said holding back tears again.

Tom wrapped his arms around me and sighed. "Are you going to do it?" He asked as we made eye contact.

"I said I would do him one better than limiting my part, I quit. At first I couldn't tell if I actually meant it, like was it the rage talking. But no...I let this go on for too long. No one in the cast has stuck up for me...it's time I go." I said back to him.

"Well I could not be more proud of you." Tom said. "Honestly this is just the beginning for you Gem I can feel it. You're going to blow everyone away when this movie comes out. I'll be going to see you in 100 more movies after this year." He said giving me all the confidence I needed to nail this next scene. Before we started the intimacy coordinator came back in to talk to us about the scene and how to play it. From there Tom and I had some ideas and the camera started to roll.

We finished around 2 am and Tom and I took a taxi home together. "I'm sorry but I think I definitely gave you a hickey during the last take." I laughed pointing to Tom's neck. He laughed too and patted himself on the back.

"This is a badge of honor. And might I say you were incredible. You didn't miss a beat with the dialogue." Tom said back to me. It was hard to stay in the zone when I had him shirtless on top of me. I had to just focus on his eyes or I would've melted like a popcicle. It was a much more timid sex scene than I first imagined, the only thing you really saw was my red lace bra on the floor and Tom's bare chest and arms. But from watching the playback I knew it would still pack a punch.

That night as Tom and I stood at our doors I didn't want to say goodnight to him unless he was in bed beside me. Which I knew would never happen because there was no chance he felt the same. Especially not after me unloading all my baggage on him. I wouldn't even want to date me right now. That same night news broke that I decided to leave Outerbanks, it didn't matter that it was a closed set..not when TMZ was paying millions to get the first picture of me after that news dropped.

I looked down at my phone about to shut it off as a message from Tom appeared.

1 new message from tom blyth

tom

don't judge me but I have a late call time tomorrow so I had one more cup of coffee and now I'm wired, feel like watching a movie?

me

I do too, yeah but nothing too scary! my real life is scary enough lol

tom

Princess and the frog it is

me

my favorite

tom

am I the frog?

me

Are you claiming i'm the princess?

tom

if the glass slipper fits

me

okay prince charming be over in 5

tom

xx

Was Tom flirting with me or had this day taken it's final toll on my mental health and this was just me being delulu. Either way I didn't care because that night I fell asleep on Tom's couch cuddled up next to him while he sang all the Princess and the frog songs to me. Being delulu is sometimes the solulu.