The second we got off the plane in Berlin, this sense of relief fell over me. "Who would've thought I'd be looking forward to 18 hour days again." I said making Tom laugh.

"Can't say I'm not excited to film this scene." Tom said cheekily as we looked over the scripts for the next shoot.

"Oh my god is this the proposal scene?" I asked as we flipped through our scripts in the hotel.

"It is...good practice for the real thing." He teased me. In that second I realized, I couldn't imagine my life without Tom in it. And even though we were only about seven months into our relationship...I saw a white dress and tux in our future. And it made me smile to hear that it he did too. I blushed up at him.

"There will have be roses, a string quartet and of course and most important strawberry frosted donuts." I joked as he Tom pretended to write my requests down.

"Strawberry donuts, got it." He said as I received an email with my first script for season four of OBX. I sighed as I flipped through the first few pages. "What is it Gem?" Tom asked.

"I asked that John B and Sarah's relationship not be the forefront of this season. So they gave me a new character arch. Now Sarah is going to struggle with body image issues and the fact that she caught John B cheating on her. Good this will definitely help my mental health. I mean it's not like I'm going through all the same things as her anyway?" I flipped my phone over and put my head down on the table.

"Tell your show runner the topic is too close to home and you'll be triggered. Gem I'm not one to put my foot down on projects...but if I'm in Canada filming Billy the Kid and I can't be there to support. I'm getting nervous." Tom said holding my hand. "If you're portraying an eating disorder, while struggling with disordered eating yourself. I'm terrified you're work will follow you home." Tom sighed. His words made so much sense, and I loved how much he cared. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized this storyline would teach Chase what I had gone through for the last three years. What I was going through right now. Maybe then he could see how much everything he did truly hurt me. So I guess Tom had every right to be worried.

"I'm going to do my best to just keep it the the character. It's an important story to tell." I said as we wrapped up our review and headed to set.

"I know. I just...did you eat breakfast today?" He asked.

"Yes I had a yogurt, don't worry babe. I'm doing better..." I tried to assure him at the same time I was trying to reassure myself that what I was saying was true. Tom nodded because he really didn't want to pester me but he was my boyfriend after all and I guess he had every right to be worried because of what happened next.

We spent the next three months filming the last half of Hunger Games: Royal Bloodline and wrapped one day before I'd have to leave to start filming OBX4 in Charleston. As I packed my last suitcase I felt Tom's arms wrap around my waist. "I'm going to miss this." He sighed. As Tom and I posted about wrapping the movie on our stories. I had to post the final shot we filmed as well. 

"I know you'll only be gone for a month, but ughh...I can't think about being apart that long. However I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited for season 3 of Billy the Kid. Just don't fall in love with any of your co-stars." I teased him.

"I mean it will be hard, when Daniel rocks Jesse's ponytail...he's hard not to fall in love with." Tom joked. I looked up at him and out our balcony. 

"We made a movie, I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to hear about what a star my boyfriend is." I said turning to kiss him.

"I can't wait to hold your purse when you win a golden globe for your performance Gemma." Tom looked at me like he really saw me. He saw all that I was, good, bad and the plain ugly. Through all of that thought he stayed and he was going to continue to. 

"In my speech after I thank Rachel of course, I'll say and finally Tom the love of my life." I teased him.

"I was almost offended that I was thanked after Rachel, till you called me the love of your life." He smiled back at me.

"Well I meant it. I know I have an early flight so I'll be gone before you. Which really makes me sad." I said as tears fell down my face.

"As soon as you're in CHS call me. And I'll do everything I can to be there asap." He said as he kissed the top of my head.

"And then you and me, summer in london." I jumped.

"I can't wait, I made Suzanne send me a copy of Livia's book early so I can read it when I miss you. It should be at my place in Canada right now." Tom said. 

"I'm hoping mine will be delivered to my apartment in CHS too, you have great taste. You helped me snag an ocean view." I said back to my boyfriend. Tom and I had spent the last month or so searching every listing in Charleston till we found an apartment, not far from set. But right on the beach. So I could get my zen on away from it all. 

"You deserve the best Gemmy. And unfortunately I must be the buzzkill...I suggest we both get some rest. Travel days are not fun. Especially when you're not beside me." Tom sighed as he kissed me again. At least we got to sleep in bed together for one more night.