Rule #5: Falling in love is I not advised.

Sometimes it's easier if you let go...but most of the times... it's the hardest thing to do.

Holy motherfucking chickens!!!

Why is life so goddamn fucked up?!

I run over to Chris, automatically checking for pulse. It's weak, but it's there.

A raw, uncontrolled anger floods me, causing me to grab a pocket knife—from I don't know where—and stab Cait right in the chest.

"Oh, Emily," she says slowly, pulling the knife out of her heart, "don't you have manners? Haven't your parents told you it's not nice to stab someone in the chest?"

"Why don't you go and fuck yourself?" I offer.

"M'kay. Dean, wanna come and help?" She smiles, making me let out a scream of ultimate anger.

Dean, for a second, seems to be flipped out of his mind.

All of a sudden, the room turns into a scene off of Arrow, when everyone suddenly has a fighting parter and begin giving out punches and fancy strikes like birthday gifts.

Sam starts exorcising a demon, sending it to rot in hell. I see Cait trying to slip away but I grab her long blonde hair.

"You're not fucking running away from me you bitch!!"

"Sorry, love, but you're mistaken. Bye bye!" Black smoke escapes her mouth, leaving the foul smell of sulphur behind.

"We won," Sam gasps surprise in his tone. He sees my hollow, dark expression, understanding. "She got away."

"Yeah."

"Shit."

"Affirmative."

***

"C'mon Em. Don't beat yourself up 'cause of Cait," Dean says, taking the empty bottle of whiskey out of my hand.

"Leave...*cough* me...*cough cough*...alone." I mutter/cough, quite drunk.

"Okay. That's it," Sam says as he picks me up, carries me to the other side of the motel room, and sets me on the motel bed. "You're sleeping. Now."

"Yes, motherrrr. Can yououoouou tuuuck meeeeee iin...pleease?" I beg. Sam rolls his eyes, but only playfully as he actually tucks me in.

"Do you want to sleep alone?" Sam asks me.

"Dude, yes," Dean answering for himself, taking a swing of his beer.

"Nooooo. Sleep with me, Sammy. Dean is so mean in bed," I start to giggle, "well that came out wrong."

Dean smirks. "I'd never seen you this drunk before, Richards. You act like a kindergartner."

I start making distorted faces at Dean, but Sam stands in front of him. "Lights out, Scully," Sam whispers to me, landing a kiss on my forehead that Dean didn't see. "You too Dean."

"You know I'm older, right?"

"You know I'm smarter, right?"

A deep silence falls on the brothers, the older Winchester clearly holding back a punch. Sam walks around my bed and hops in beside me, while Dean turns off the main light and places himself on his own bed.

I can feel Sam's furnace heat through the covers and I slide towards him. He wraps his arms around me protectively. "Sleep tight, warrior princess."

***

"Chris! Wake up! Oh, God, please tell me you didn't die..."

"I...didn't...d-ie," a weak Chris answers. I smile/sob some words as I plant a kiss on his lips. "Wha-what happened?"

"You have three or four fractured ribs, one broken. You sprained your left ankle, broke your nose, and probably got a concussion. You also have lots of cuts and bruises all over. But you'll be okay."

"Why am I not in a hospital then?" His words are a slap to the face.

"Too far. And it's complicated."

Chris is completely cold. The joy and humor has been sucked out of him, leaving a pain and sadness behind.

"Too far? How is taking me to a hospital complicated? Ems, they kidnapped me. Tortured me. You know what they asked? Hmm? They asked me to tell everything about you. And your job. Why would they want to know about a part-time librarian? Is there something you're not telling me?" His mouth is slightly agape, wheezing.

"Chris...you should rest," I offer.

"No, you should tell me the truth," his voice quieter now, "are you a criminal?"

"Jeezus, no. It's...it's a long story."

"I think I have time. I can barely even talk without having a coughing fit. So...shoot."

The door randomly opens behind us, a joyful Dean walking in. "I got breakfast for 'sleeping beauty' here. Oh, and Sammy made breakfast for you as a kind gesture for sleeping with him."

The room seems ten times smaller and I suddenly choke on air. I shut my eyes a little too tight.

Chris scoffs and nods his head in anger but mostly disappointment. I give Dean a death glare, my eyes telling him to fuck off.

"Chris...I didn't...I-um-I-"

"Who is he? Him and this 'Sammy' character? Did he at least worth it?"

"They're-what do you mean?" I question.

"Was he at least...good in bed? Did he worth cheating on me?"

"We didn't-I-um-he's family."

"That's even worse!"

"I didn't screw him today, Chris. Just. Listen. To. Me."

"Today?"

"Ahh. Ever."

Don't tell him. Emily, don't.

"I think I have to tell you something."

"You think?! You fucking owe me a goddamn explanation. Is it really that hard? Then we should end it. If you can't be honest with me...we're through. Who are you even?!"

"I'm sorry...I can't. This. Isn't-I'm"

"My wife." Sam answers for me, which is not true of course.

"Chris I-"

"Get out."

"Bu-"

"There is no but, Emily. When we met, you told me honesty is key. We just lost that." His voice is trembling from sadness and anger. "I don't want to see you again. Make sure you clear everything from the apartment. I'd hate to throw all your  shit out."

"Will you be okay?" I wonder out loud.

"You don't worry 'bout me. It's none of your business anymore..."

"Goodbye, Christopher. I..." Never finishing the sentence, I turn around, walk past Sam hitting my shoulder into his, and out the door. Tears tickle my face as I silently bawl my eyes out.

"Emily," the taller Winchester calls out.

I halt abruptly, turning around to face Dean. He quite literally towers over me since I'm shorter than usual.

"Your wife? Are you out of your mind?! I loved him, y'know? I did."

"Em, you would've told him. And we both know you would've regretted it. He can't know. It was better this way," Sam replies. I begin banging my hand on his strong chest, but soon end up sobbing in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Scully," he whispers.

"You're right. It's better this way. He could've ended up like Lizzie. Thank you. Mulder." I kiss him on the cheek and he returns it on the lips.

The kiss felt very weird but somehow right. "Let's go kill some monsters," he winks at me. I already broke Chris' heart, I'm sure I couldn't break Sam's. Because nothing more will happen.

There I am.

Back hunting, living in the Impala or in crappy motels, without a proper life. But whatever. At least I'm in good company. Sort of...