Darkness had become easy to reach. By forcing himself to accept all the fucked up things in his life, Jimmy managed to get to a place where there was nothing but darkness. Not the scary kind. The kind that felt like a warm, familiar blanket.

Kato was right. Everything he'd been through only made him stronger, including space and all the drugs he'd been injected with. Even if he still felt off balance, Jessie had also been right. It was getting better. And by thinking about her, about the way she kissed him last time, he could sail through all the trauma. She was his beacon, and focusing on her drove the madness inside him out. Twisted it and turned it into desire, but that was slightly easier to handle.

"What do you see?" Kato asked.

Jimmy blinked into the darkness and Kato's sitting form appeared before him. What was strange this time was that his surroundings also came into focus, even if everything was in muted shades of grey.

"You," he answered. "And the room, through it's oddly distorted." He waved his hand and the edges swirled, as if everything was made out of smoke.

"You can see the room?" Kato sounded a little surprised and Jimmy wondered if he'd messed up again.

"Yes."

The figure of Kato stood. Even if he wasn't sure if it was real or just inside his head, Jimmy stood, too. The walls seemed to follow his movements.

"This is very interesting," Kato mumbled. "But let us see if you are ready."

A sense of excitement overwhelmed Jimmy. Yes, he wanted it to be over, he wanted his training to be complete, like it seemed to be in Jessie's case, so that they could finally plan their assault on the castle. He wanted to get his brothers and friends out of those ruins.

"Focus on the element that brings you solace," Kato instructed.

That was easy. In a second, Jessie was there, smiling at him. He frowned. What the hell? Her hair was short and choppy and she was wearing the dark blue gi. Had she come inside the room? Was he waking up? The walls seemed solid right now, and Kato much too real.

"Shit," he breathed. He'd fucked up and woke up. He'd been so close.

Kato ignored him and reached out his hand. He held one of the katanas on the wall. Jimmy's stomach tightened as he took it. Yes, this sucked, but he wouldn't say no to more sword fighting lessons. He actually enjoyed them, and after weeks of training was fast enough to give his master a run for his money. It was the only thing he was better at than Jessie right now.

"Good," Kato said, his voice soothing. "Now kill her."

Jimmy did a double take. "What?"

"Kill her," the old man said, his voice louder.

"I heard you. But I'm doing no such thing." He turned to Jessie who tilted her head, unconcerned by the current situation. Of course she was, she knew he would never hurt her.

"Cut her down. Destroy her."

His voice was so powerful, so final. Something inside it made Jimmy feel like he had no choice, like he was trapped in a void he couldn't escape unless he obeyed the order. Anger replaced the confusion. He always had a choice. 

In a second, he turned and pinned Kato against the wall and brought the blade to his throat. "How about I kill you?"

"Jimmy!"

It was Jessie's voice. Except it wasn't coming from right next to him, but from the doorway. He turned to her, the walls dancing around him, the air shifting and trembling. Suddenly, he could see her. The weird trance was fading, bringing him back to reality. Something moved next to him and he turned his attention that way. The blood froze in his veins.

Kato was really there, against the wall, Jimmy's forearm on his throat, the sword blade inches from his skin.

With a yelp, Jimmy stepped back. The sword clattered to the floor. He'd thought this was all inside his head, just like the original Jessie. Kato took in a deep breath and placed his hand over his neck.

"You." He pointed a shaking finger at Jimmy. "You are something else. You--" He continued with a string of Japanese words that made no sense.

Jimmy wasn't sure what to do with himself. At first, there was nothing but confusion at this unlikely event. Then there was a wave of rage at being asked to kill Jessie, followed by helplessness and shame at his inability to complete his training.

"Fuck this," he mumbled.

He moved past Jessie and out of the house. Being in front of the shed and garage again only made him feel more trapped, so he headed to the left, towards the tiny road they'd used to get there. Everything inside him was a mess, swirling, laughing at him, filling him with unwarranted anger. Why did he have to kill imaginary Jessie anyway, especially when she felt so real? What was the point of this exercise?

He leaned his back against one of the many cliff walls, his eyes wondering towards the village. He felt so far removed from everything, a monster hidden from the rest of the world for their own good. He bit his lip hard. The pain didn't manage to sober him as he sank inside a whirlwind of frustration.

"Jimmy?"

Jessie's voice only made him tense. He didn't want her there, but he also didn't want to hurt her. "What is it?" he asked, keeping his voice neutral.

He could hear her approaching, but she didn't touch him, probably sensing that something was wrong.

"What was that back there?"

"Apparently I'm a lot more incapable of killing the person I love than others." His voice came out bitter, but what was the point of pretending? It was fucked.

She let out a heavy sigh. "I was referring to you almost slicing Master Kato's throat, but yeah, I see how that could look." She stepped closer until they were almost shoulder to shoulder. Her eyes scanned the road to the village as well. "But it's not about killing."

He looked to her and raised an eyebrow. "Then what is it about?"

"Finding yourself. Belonging to yourself fully."

Bullshit. He belonged to her and he didn't mind. On the contrary, he needed it, needed her. So much that his entire body felt as if it was on fire.

"And before you start telling me all about love," she continued, "let me make it even clearer. The fact that I could do it doesn't mean I love you less. On the contrary. I love you so much that I don't want to be a parasite, drawing from your strength, from your feelings. I want to have my own and I want to be your equal partner, love you for who you are, not for what you can offer me."

He turned to face her, his frown deepening. That sounded almost plausible, except it wasn't the same for him. "Do you feel like I'm a parasite?"

She shook her head. "This is not about how I feel. It's about how you feel."

"I don't know about that. I kinda enjoy being yours."

She finally turned to face him as well, her eyes glittering in the dying sun. "That's what Kato doesn't understand. We're not alike. We shouldn't both be doing the same things inside our heads. And you... Well, I think you might need me in there, especially now."

"You have no idea," he mumbled turning back towards the village. A pickup rumbled on the distant road, heading for the castle. "We really need to get in there."

"I know," she whispered. "Maybe we should go further back? I wouldn't want a fight with goons."

"I would. Better than fighting you."

She smirked as if remembering how they were almost evenly matched now, but headed closer to the house. He followed her, refusing to lose the element of surprise as well. No matter how frustrated he was, getting into a random fight was an even worse idea.

"How's your energy?" she asked, stopping before the steps into the house.

He pondered on this, focusing on his feelings, his pulse and his breathing. If he were still a newbie on this whole self-awareness thing, he'd say it was fine. He was relaxed. But deep inside, the storm was brewing.

"Chaotic," he finally answered and was rewarded with the certainty that the word was very accurate.

Jessie frowned and raised her hand as if she wanted to place it on his cheek, then lowered it. "Still having trouble with containing your spurs?"

"That's an understatement," he mumbled. He was fine now, and mostly when they sparred, but he'd still suddenly feel like running up the mountain from time to time. 

According to Kato, that messed up tea they kept drinking and the sessions in the dark were supposed to help them master their energy and direct it accordingly. Jessie was doing it. He was failing miserably.

"I have a question," he said.

"Sure." Jessie sat on the bottom step and looked up at him.

He sat too, on the cold hard ground, and fought the impulse to take her hands. He could feel it wasn't safe to touch her at the moment, not when he felt like pulling her in his lap.

"What now?" he asked. "After you passed this massive test and killed me, what do you do during your mind training?"

"I try to tame the serum," she answered.

Her words made his stomach fluttered and gave him an unreasonable amount of hope. "How?"

She tried to hide a smile. "Well, for now I'm picturing it as a giant, aggressive dog I'm trying to befriend."

He let out a laugh. "That sounds about right."

They were both distracted by a sudden movement towards the greenhouse. Kato was there, wearing his slacks and windbreaker, hauling boxes around.

"Is he upset?" Jimmy asked.

"No. But you do need to understand that he's really trying to help us and that we're two very unpredictable people."

"You mean dangerous people."

Jessie nodded, her eyes still on their master. "He's helped me a lot, you know. To figure myself out and be better."

"I know. He's helped me a lot, too. I just can't--" He cut himself off because what he wanted to say made him sound like a whiny brat even inside his head.

An all-knowing smile curved her lips. "You're annoyed he's playing chaperone."

To put it mildly. The energy inside Jimmy twisted again, bringing a pain to his muscles. It felt worse with every day in which he denied it and redirected it towards physical training or chopping wood.

"He's not a very good chaperone," he said instead. "I think he might be leaving for the village." He saw no other explanation why he was out of his gi. Truth was, Jimmy was so used to the three of them wearing the equipment daily, it was easy to forget there were other clothes in the world.

"Maybe." She turned to him. Once her eyes fixed on his, she jumped the tiniest bit. She looked confused, hopeful, and then she shut him out. "I have an idea," she said before he could open his mouth and ask. "Let's go train with the swords while he's out."

Jimmy hesitated, but decided it was a great way to burn off the annoying energy inside him. Plus, sword fighting implied no touching, which was definitely needed.

"Okay," he said.

Jessie stood and he joined her. Meanwhile, Kato had reached his truck, a crate in his arms.

"Where you going?" he asked.

"To train with the katanas," she called back.

He seemed to falter, but nodded once. "Good. You need the training. Then straight to bed."

"Sure thing," Jimmy assured him, though the predictable order was still annoying.

"I will not be long," Kato said by way of warning.

They both nodded and waved at him, then headed inside. He didn't need to worry. Jimmy was convinced they'd exhaust themselves and go to sleep like good little students. His body protested at the thought, but it was mind over matter, so screw what it wanted.

They reached the dark dojo and Jessie turned on the light. It was low, leaving the corners of the large room in darkness.

"Is it weird that I love this?" she asked, picking up one of the swords.

"Nope," he said, grabbing his own. "This is cool as hell."

They took their positions and then were off. Jessie swiped at him and he parried with ease, then came forth with his own attack which she dodged. Ever since they'd started training with swords, Kato had made it clear that it was just as important to know how to stop your attack as it was to deliver them. They'd practiced for hours how to stop their swipes millimeters before their target, so training with actual sharpened swords was not dangerous. Jimmy knew he'd never hurt Jessie, and she was good enough not to nip him.

They continued their duel, swords clanging against each other, their bodies switching position. Even if it was grueling and required massive amounts of concentration, the energy inside him only seemed to grow. It made it hard to focus, so Jessie took advantage and stopped her blade less than an inch from his side.

"Gotcha!" The victory in her voice was a huge turn on for some reason. He wanted to wipe that grin off her face with a kiss.

He couldn't, so he backed up and grabbed another sword instead.

She lowered her weapon. "What are you doing?"

"Double wielding." He twisted both swords, feeling a little bit better.

"You actually practiced that?"

"Yeah. A couple of times with Kato, but a lot on my own." It was the only thing that drew as much energy out of him as climbing mountains. And judging by the way his entire body jittered, he needed it.

She watched him maneuvering the swords, a mild frown on her face. "I'm so jealous right now. I tried too, but I can't. Since I'm right handed, me trying to wield with my left is basically begging to chop something off."

"Sorry, Sunshine."

She assumed combat position again. "Don't call me that." And she charged at him.

He used both swords mainly to parry, but it was so easy to go around her defenses this time. She resisted brilliantly, her speed and balance impressive, but he still ended up pinning her against the wall, both his swords crossed over hers.

"Not fair," she panted.

What wasn't fair was that all this training didn't drain him at all. It seemed to make it worse if anything. But he pulled away, deciding to try some more.

They spent a few hours practicing, dancing around each other, attacking and defending. Jessie was obviously exhausted, and even if his arms felt heavy too from the weapons, it wasn't enough. It didn't smother his desire, his need for release.

"I hate you," Jessie mumbled, once again against the wall, Jimmy pining her there.

"Do you now?" It was a bad idea to start a teasing game, but the words were out before he could help them.

"I wish I could double wield."

"I guess you'll have to find different ways to incapacitate me."

Her gaze shifted and there was no more annoyance in her eyes. She lowered the sword and he lowered his, and before he could talk himself out of it, his hands were against the wall and he leaned over her and caught her lower lip between his.

She drew in a sharp breath, as if it hurt. He wanted to tell her she only needed to nudge him back. Instead, he kissed her deeper, pressing more firmly against her. She kissed him back, her hands circling his neck. The swords fell from his hands and he wrapped them around her, feeling the need to hold her, touch more of her. His entire body hummed with approval, the chaos inside him aligning.

The sound of her own sword hitting the floor made him jump the tiniest bit. They were surrounded by sharp objects. It didn't matter, not when they found safety in each other. Not when he found his balance within her. Their hands continued to move, to explore, the energy inside him finally finding the outlet it craved for. Her hands snaked inside his shirt, touching his skin. It felt amazing, like coming home after the longest day.

"Wait." Jessie pulled away from him, her eyes hazy. "We shouldn't be doing this."

He agreed. They should be doing a lot more. The disappointment inside him was smothering. But he knew what she meant, so he pulled back, forcing a smile on his face.

"Right. Wouldn't want Kato bursting in."

She nodded and crouched to pick up her sword. Her hands were shaking and her breathing was uneven. "I think that was enough. I don't think we'd get the chance to fight for this long even if that entire castle is filled with samurai."

Jimmy picked up his fallen weapons as well. His wrists hurt a little from all the spinning. "I think you're right."

He didn't say another word as they put their swords away and headed back into the kitchen. They both had some water and something quick to eat, but the closer they came to bedtime, the more the anxiety inside him grew. It wasn't over. That little make out session didn't satiate him. The thought of sleep was torture.

"When do you think Master Kato will be back?" Jessie asked, forcing her voice to be casual.

He shrugged. "You're the one who wasn't out of it on the journey here, so you tell me."

She bit her lower lip and he lowkey hated her for it. "We should just go to bed then."

"Okay."

They both hesitated for a few moments, but then headed for the narrow hall. Jessie stopped in front of her door and he walked on, brushing past her. It felt as if he were tearing himself apart.

"You're not okay," she said.

He stopped in front of his own door. She looked worried. "Um..."

"Don't lie to me. What's wrong?"

"I wouldn't say anything is wrong."

Her eyebrows bunched and she marched to him, a determined air on her face.

"You need something from me," she said, stopping an inch from him.

He was struck dumb by how beautiful she looked at that moment. He'd always liked her bravery, her fire, the way she never backed down from a challenge.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Then why aren't you taking it?"

"Because you're not an object that belongs to me." No matter how much those assholes had tried to drill it into his head.

"You're right, I'm not. I make my own decisions." And she grabbed the front of his gi and pulled him into a kiss.

It was like heaven. His fingers found the door handle and he backed inside the room, pulling her along, kissing her with the type of abandonment that was just foreplay. And in that moment, he let the mad chaos inside him take over because he knew he didn't crave violence. He craved security, love. He craved her.

This time, she didn't stop him. She was the one to undo his belt and push the shirt off his shoulders. He did the same to hers, leaving her in a white tank top. So tight around her, so revealing. He kissed her shoulders, her arms, every inch of her he could reach.

She pushed him down on the bed and climbed into his lap. This was so familiar. Visions of Paris swam before his eyes, and all he wanted was to do that again. Get to know her body.

She sunk her hands in his hair and kissed his neck. The feel of her hot breath on his skin drove him up the walls. But something nagged him, something he knew she should say. Just like in Paris.

"Jessie," he breathed. The words felt like suicide, but he had to say them. "I can't stop, I don't want to. But if you do, I'll back off."

She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her. "Stop? Do you have any idea how much I need you?"

"I'm all yours."

Those were the words he wanted and needed to say. So when he turned over, pinned her on the bed under him and began kissing every inch of her, that was exactly what he was going to prove. By loving her more than he ever had before, giving her every last bit of him, and making her happier than she'd ever been.

Sink into her and give her something neither of them would've thought could be this amazing.

🏯

Jessie couldn't believe she could feel this much happiness. It had been so long, and yet it felt like they'd never stopped, had never been apart for even one second.

Despite everything, Jimmy still knew his way around her body, where to touch her, how to bring her to the most incredible heights and then catch her as she fell down.

As she lay with her head on his shoulder, drawing spirals on his chest, their legs tangled together, she couldn't help thinking that he'd changed.

Yes, the Jimmy she knew, the one who'd left for outer space was gone, replaced by a new man touched by all the evils done to him. And yet, she'd never been more in love with him. This new, brave, incredible him, not a memory that no longer existed.

The moonlight breaking through the tiny window shone on his closed eyes and smiling face, and for once, he looked calm. Happy.

"Memory issues have their perks," he said, his eyes still closed. "This felt like the first time all over again."

"Trust me, it was much better than the first time. Not that our first time wasn't amazing."

He hummed in approval and his smile widened.

"You seem better," she observed.

"I am. I feel amazing. And things are clearer then they'd ever been." He tightened his hold around her and opened his eyes. "There's no more hole, no more darkness. Just me."

His words filled her with so much happiness, she was sure it would burst out of her. "Did magic sex make you remember everything?"

He chuckled. "Not exactly, but it did help me make a few connections and remember something very important that I have to do." He shifted to half turn towards her.

She brushed the hair off his forehead, enjoying the familiar intimacy between them. She'd missed this the most.

"That satellite they sent me to fix is a weapon."

Her hand froze in midair and her eyes widened. "What?"

"They have sockets for the jewels and I think they want to use their energy augmentation properties to channel a massive amount into a single spot."

"Like a death laser?" Her voice came out panicky.

He leaned over and kissed her on the temple. The gesture calmed her down and she snuggled against him.

"Pretty much. But there's no need to worry about that."

"Why not?" How could he be so calm about it? No wonder the Agency wanted to shut him up. What he'd found out was huge.

"First off, they don't have all the jewels. From the design, I don't think it would work without all of them. Second, even if they did get them all, I sabotaged that thing enough for it to explode."

"And they don't know that?"

"Even if they do, I'd like to see them fix it. Some adjustments I made are very subtle."

She blinked. Then took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply. No wonder he felt it was worth risking his life over.

He kissed her back slowly, with a lingering passion that drew all the worry out of her. Yes, it was worrisome information, but they'd take care of it once they got the others out.

"One more thing." He pulled away, a smile on his face.

"What more did you do? You're already a freaking hero."

"We'll have a lot of work to do with this, all of us. But we'll figure that out once we rescue the others. I meant something else." He took her wrists and rolled on top of her, successfully pinning her underneath him.

"Oh?" She hoped he wouldn't talk much. Her body was already screaming for him. What had happened between them had been mind blowing, but nowhere near enough.

"I got my priorities right while up there. And I had this entire speech ready for you for when I cam down."

"A speech?" She didn't want a speech right now. Just for him to press harder against her and take it from there.

"I still remember it. It went a little something like this." He grinned, but there was a bit of nervousness is his gaze, as if the speech was important and he didn't want to mess it up. "Sunshine, fuck our pasts."

She let out a giggle. "Agreed."

He tightened his hold on her to silence her. "We're both broken people who have found each other. And your love makes me happier than anything in the world. It makes me human. I love you so much, sometimes I think it's impossible."

She smiled, her heart thumping loudly, her entire body warming at his words. He stopped, biting on his lower lip and he'd never looked hotter.

"I wanna grow old with you," he said all of a sudden. "I wanna die lying in your arms. But before that happens, I want to have kids with you. I want you every second of every day, for the rest of my life. Marry me."

Her jaw dropped as she struggle to compute what he'd just said. "Wait, did you just...?"

"Propose? Definitely." His smile lit up the night, turned it into heaven. "And I promise I'll get you a ring the moment we get out of here."

She didn't need a ring. She needed to slap herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. But first, she needed to make the dream better. So she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down until they were a breath apart.

"There's nothing in this world I want more than to marry you. So that's a definite yes." And she pulled him into a kiss.

He leaned over her, kissing her back. And maybe it was because he said the perfect thing at the perfect time, but when they made love again, it felt better than ever.

🏯🏯🏯

You kinda get a happy chapter this time, because I think we can all agree it was needed. 

Yay, Jimmy remembered things and let other know. Yay, there was much love and a proposal to boot.

Now you know I'm going to ruin it. So stay tuned to see just how I plan on doing that. Next chapter is the last chapter of Part II, so we'll be getting to the climax soon enough.

Don't forget to vote and give me your very important thoughts on the story.