She waited for her mom to come home, her palms sweating and her legs shaking. For the millionth time, she practiced in her head what she was going to say.

It was made up of two words.

I'm gay.

How hard could it be? It was only two words, after all. Two simple, yet intimidating, and possibly dangerous words.

The front door swung open. Her mother kicked off her shoes and threw her coat in the direction of the coat rack.

"You wouldn't believe the day I just had!" her mother exclaimed. The girl could sense the irritation in her mother's voice. The girl gulped and opened her mouth to speak, but the words seemed lodged in her throat.

She chose a different pair of words instead.

"What happened?"

The girl pretended to listen as her mother told the same stories she tells everyday.

"I ran 87 credit cards. Maybelle/Michael/Steve made a stupid mistake that I had to fix. There were way too many rude customers today."

The mother took a deep breath, finishing her daily work rant.

"I need some cheering up. Want to go out to dinner?" The girl nodded. Her mom started down the hallway to change out of her work clothes.

The girl went to the car, waiting in the passenger seat for her mother. Her mother finished changing minutes later, getting into the driver's seat. She started the engine, driving out of the parking lot. The car was filled with silence. The girl soon decided to break it, another two words coming out.

"Hey mom."

Still not the two words.

"I wanted to talk to you."

The girl's voice was quiet and shaky but she hoped her mom was too frantic from work to pick up on it.

Her mom made an obnoxious sigh.

"Ugh, can you believe he treated me like that? Today has been horrible," she said.

Clearly, her mother hadn't acknowledged the shakiness in her daughter's voice at all, much less acknowledged her. Whenever her mother got into these crabby moods, it was hard to get her out of them, and even harder to make her listen.

The diner came into view and the girl's mom turned into the parking lot.

"Sorry honey, I had a really bad day. I hope nothing else goes wrong tonight."

The girl looked down at the chipped red nail polish on her fingers, all the words in her throat going back down with a giant gulp. Those two words were still lingering in her mind, not intending to leave any time soon. The girl had no idea how her mom would handle those two words; if she were to say them now, she risked rubbing salt on the wound of her mom's already unpleasant day.

As the mother and daughter left the car and entered the quiet diner, the girl once again felt the words start to crawl back up her throat. She wasn't surprised; if they weren't going to leave her mind, there was only one way out.

She gulped the words down, yet again. She would have to keep them down until after they ordered. This was not the kind of news that should be interrupted by an appetizer. The girl and her mother ordered their food. The girl prepared to say those two words. She needed to say them; keeping them to herself only teased her tongue and worried her mind. She felt bravery build inside her, and opened her mouth, taking a breath to speak.

Her brief moment of bravery was interrupted by loud, high pitched laughter echoing through the dinner. The girl looked toward the direction of the laughter. Regardless of the pitch, it belonged to a young man. The man had long, gangly legs covered in tight skinny jeans, wearing a shirt with 'love wins' printed on it.

The mother's gaze was also directed at him, her face wrinkling in judgement.

"I bet he's gay."

The girl froze.

Her mother scoffed, continuing.

"I swear, it seems to be a trend to be gay in your generation."

Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time her mother had said something like this...

_________________________________________

The girl and her mother had gone to the mall to shop for homecoming dresses. The girl and her friend were walking around the mall, hand in hand. They soon arrived to the boutique, her friend walking off to look at dresses. As soon as she walked away, the girl's mom pulled her aside.

"You probably should stop holding hands. People will think you're a couple," she said, and then asked,"is she, you know, gay?" Before she could reply, she added,"If she is, that's totally fine. She's not my daughter, after all."

"...No, Mom. She is straight,"

___________________________________________________

At the time, the girl thought she was straight as well,and was not bothered by her mother's comment. Now she often thought back on that moment whenever she thought about coming out. She had hoped that over the years her mother's views would have changed. Apparently, they hadn't.

All the words that the girl had forced up crumbled into a million pieces along with her courage. She forced a laugh and looked down at a menu advertising the daily specials, holding back tears. She felt trapped between these two little words and her mom's negative attitude toward the topic. She felt like she was choking on the words and being suffocated by her mother. If she kept quiet she'd sacrifice her own happiness. If she said something, she would destroy her mother's definition of 'normal'. The girl didn't know what to do anymore. The girl looked up from the menu.

"Hey, Mom..."