-• why him? •-

I park my car in the usual spot and take the private elevator to the top floor, stepping out once the metal doors slide open. Ignoring the man standing in front of the glass wall, I walk past the reception desk and towards my office. He turns, I feel his eyes watch me as I settle in my chair and turn on the monitors.

"Yara, run the test files." I command.

"Yes, boss." His reply comes immediately.

I lean back, knuckles folded beneath my chin as I watch the screen. My eyes switch to the files pending for approval and I pick one, reading through it as Yara runs test on our beta version.

"You're late."

I nod, having heard him step inside my office when the door opened. "I had something important to settle."

"And what was it that you had to ignore an important event?" He places the glass of his whiskey on the corner of my desk.

"Am I obliged to answer that?" I raise my gaze from the files. He watches me keenly.

"We're partners." He states.

"Business partners." I clarify. "Come to me with questions regarding business or our plans. My personal life is mine to take care of."

He scoffs. "If I gave a dime about you, that'd have hurt me. But since I don't, what you do in your personal life is neither my business, nor do I want to bother myself with that mess." He leans in, bracing the table, looking at me sternly. "My time is money, Rudra. Every second makes me billions. But still, I take out an hour from the busy day, just to have one meal with my family. And I had to give up on that because your personal life came into the way of our business meeting. I'm your partner, but don't forget I've an out, you don't." He points a finger at me, reminding me of the differences between us, how he's more powerful, more in control and more with freedom among us. "So the next time you use my time for your frivolous personal matters, you better pay me worth every second of it, got that?"

I match the leveled, furious stare. More than nine years and he still treats me like someone below him. I wonder what his reaction will be when I make his sister my wife. And I will. He might flip hell upside down to prevent that, but I'd go beyond time and horizon just to make that happen.

"Tests executed successfully." Yara interrupts.

We both look away.

I run the code and the security program installs successfully.

"Let's talk business now," Yuvraaj settles down on the chair in front of me. I don't look away from the computer screen. His smug face often brings heinous thoughts in my head. We gel better when we're not around each other. I've no idea how we worked together so well for over so many years, but I think I've my patience to applaud for that. Even making sense of every word that leaves this jerk's mouth is a matter of perseverance. And I've been doing that close to a decade now.

I know he feels the same about me.

We're the same end of magnets, the more we're pushed closer, the stronger we repel each other.

"We can release the beta version for free. Customer satisfaction is more important when it comes to protection of their privacy. The key to attract companies to work with us is to prove that we trust our software. And the only way we can do that is to use our own security program across all subsidiaries." I tell him.

He nods. "I get that. I'll talk to my security team and see if it's possible. But that's not what I want to talk about."

I look at him. "Then what is it?"

"YARA." He states. "You know the only reason all the investors, including me, are onboard with you because of it."

"Him." I correct.

He frowns. "Excuse me?"

"Yara is a he." I remind him.

He snorts out a chuckle. "You can't be serious. You're not bonding with him, are you?" He leans in seriously. "As a major shareholder of this company, I want Yara in the market by the end of this year."

I remove my glasses and put them aside. "I can't."

He grows furious. "What do you mean by you can't!?"

I stay quiet.

"Rudra!" He demands. I meet his eyes. The silence charges with energy, both mine and his, as we hold the contact for more than a minute. "I'm asking you something!" He growls.

"Because he's powerful!" I slam my hands on the desk and get up. "He'll be weaponized, manipulated, reprogrammed to become the worst version of humanity! And I'm not allowing that. I'm not allowing anyone to use him, understood?" I grit out. "If you're smart enough, know this, Yara in the outside world is a threat to us, threat to the humanity, but inside this company, he's our most trusted ally. He can do anything and everything for us. People waste millions to hire security services, we've our own, the strongest of them. And you want to sell him? For what? Money?" I spit out in disbelief. "Once the goverment get their hands on him, so will the Chairman, and then it's all over! For both of us!"

He sighs and rakes a hand through his hair. "So you simply used him to lure in the investors!?" He snaps.

"Yes." I aver confidently. "He's the pivot of Esther Industries and I'm not giving him up to these incapable individuals." I add firmly. "I know AI are in trends. I'll make one, your home friendly AI who does basic menial tasks for you. Let's integrate it into our future vehicles too. But right now, we need to make this security program big."

"Why?" His brows furrow together. "Why have you been stressing so much on this security software?" He sits back down.

I pick up the red marker from the desk and walk up to the white board in my office.

"Rajawats rely on third party security defense to protect their data encryption, network infrastructure and transactions even when they had Rajawat Innovations. That's where the doom for RI Gatekeeper was pre-written. If the manufacturer doesn't trust the product he made, why will the customer ever take that risk?" I ask. "I've been working on RI Gatekeeper for the last three years now. It had too many loopholes and needed so much upgradation. But I did it." I uncap the marker and explain RI Gatekeeper's functionality through a hierarchical diagram, highlighting the changes I made, features I added, and the platform independency it offers.

He's nodding in response by the end of my explanation.

"Now here's my plan," I take quick sip of water from the bottle on my desk and close it again. "We need to make Rajawats hire us as their primary security administrator."

"And how are you making that happen?"

"That's where I come into the plan." Yara chimes in through the external speakers.

"So let me get this right." He holds up a finger. I wait. "You're going to use Yara as a virus, infiltrate Rajawat Industries, and when they're stressing over trying to save themselves, I'll be walking in as their saviour with Esther Innovations and EI Gatekeeper?"

"Bingo!" I clap.

"That's one God damn smart move to get a strong inner control on them." He nods in agreement, a victorious smile growing on his lips. "I'm in. Good job." He raises a hand and my brows shoot up in surprise but I lean in for the Hi-five.

"We can never, ever reveal Yara to the world. He'll either be destroyed or weaponized. And neither is good for us." I state clearly.

He groans slightly. "It's going to be a hassle convincing the investors now."

"I'm sorry for that in advance." I toss the marker on the desk and sprawl in my chair. "Today was exhausting." I stretch my neck to the sides, rubbing the nape gently to release the built up tension. God, I'm in dire need of a good massage.

Maybe I should pay a visit to Tara as Rudra tonight. I'm sure she'll help me release some of the stress. I also need to check what she got her hands on tonight from Atharva Saxena's uncle. I'm guessing it's the case report of the suicide incident she's digging up. If I'm right, the Chairman will never leave loose ends when he cleans up after such hideous matters. But then why would he send goons to threaten a pair of nineteen year olds? That's not like him. He doesn't pull such kind of cheap stunts.

"By the way, did you use your car to come here?"

I nod absentmindedly.

"I thought you don't mind using Rudra as a cover up again?"

I meet his eyes. "Yeah, I was in a hurry. Mind driving my car home? Send it tomorrow to my university. I'll take my bike tonight." I bend forward and open the lower cabinet of my desk, grabbing the black outfit from inside.

"Does the Chairman know you're out this late? We can't afford his suspicion, you know that right?"

I dismiss the concern with a shake of my head. "I stopped by on my way for dinner, and made up a lie to leave as soon as it was over. He thinks I study late until midnight in the University library. He'll call me if I'm not present at breakfast tomorrow, not until then." I remove my denim jacket followed by the blue tshirt, use wet wipes to remove the traces of my usual cologne, spray the one I use as Rudra and put on the black crewneck t-shirt, topping it off with the black leather jacket. "And even if he asks about me before that, Virendra will cover up for me." I glance at him as I replace my joggers for black jeans and bend over to shut down all the monitors.

Yuvraaj nods.

"See you tomorrow!" I grab my mask and gloves, and make way towards the door.

"Rudra," I turn around at the threshold, waiting impatiently. I really need to kiss Tara right now. I've been thinking about it from the moment she got inside my car.

"What is it?"

"Recently, I've been swamped with work and hospital and, and I didn't get the chance to say this, uhm, but thanks."

I freeze. "Sorry?"

"For saving my siblings, for bringing them to hospital in time, and for- for staying at the hospital that night, tha- thanks. I mean, I used to think of you as an evil, psychotic monster who's power hungry and obsessed with money, but I guess you're not that bad." He nods.

Is that supposed to be a compliment?

"Thank....... You?"

"You're welcome." He nods and walks out past me, leaving me stunned in my place.

Is this man for real?

I get it why he's still single.

I nod to myself and close the door of my office. On my way to the elevator, I put on my glasses, mask and gloves and shove the bike keys in my pocket.

It's a ride of fifteen minutes to the Chauhan Palace.

Yara helps me covert my presence as I enter the palace grounds and head upstairs to third floor. I check the time on my watch. It's ten past midnight. The dim lights reveal my shadow on the walls as I head towards Tara's room, but no one's around to witness it. I press on the knob and the door opens. Yara has started to learn of my expected commands before I even say them now.

I close the door gently. It locks. My feet rest in place, I lean on the wall and cross my arms on my chest. She sleeps soundly in the cavern of warm blankets, unbothered to the dangers of the world, as if she knows, is aware of how many us are willing to go on a fucking war for her.

The room is doused in darkness, left for the open window that allows the moonlight to cast a soft glow on her sleeping form. I sigh in delight.

I locate her backpack on the desk and get off the wall, turning on the handheld torch to look for the case report inside. I find it easily. Sparing a precautionary glance over my shoulder, I place the file on the desk and undo the strings to open it. Carefully, I put the backpack down and sit on the chair, reading through the investigation process and medical reports as quickly as possible. I know Yara is in tune with my behavioural pattern by now, so he is saving the images of the file without me needing to tell him beforehand.

I find nothing interesting. It's clearly investigated from the perspective of an open and shut case. There's nothing in it that should trigger the Chairman to go as far as hire local hooligans to scare off the nineteen year old kids.

I tie up the file again and put it back in the backpack, placing it exactly where I had grabbed it from.

Turning around, I make my way towards the bed.

"Don't. You haven't removed your contacts yet."

I make a left turn to the bathroom.

Shit.

How did I forget that?

I enter the bathroom, turn on the lights and gently remove the lenses from my eyes, carefully putting them in their case and thrusting it in the inside pocket of my jacket.

Instead of putting on my glasses, I place them on the nightstand when I sit at the edge of her bed. My hand reaches to tuck back the open strands. She stirs gently.

I wish I can touch her with my bare hands. But ever since she cut my palm open using her pocket knife, I've to use the gloves in front of her. Not that I blame her. I was wrong and she put me in my place. I cannot me more proud of her.

The only thought that bothers me is why Rudra and not Shourya?

I want to claim her in front of the world, make it clear who she belongs to. But if she chooses to fall for the secret, the secret will have to reveal itself just to choose her back. That's impossible for me. I can't give up on my revenge for her.

I stare down at her and brush a thumb over the plump, pink flesh of her lower lip. Getting up, I close the windows, the only way for lights to sneak in and drown the room in complete darkness. I sit back beside her and lift her hand to kiss the palm of it. She recoils slightly, my touch colder on her warm skin. I lean in and cup her cheek, studying the contours of her face with the trace of my thumb.

All my life I believed there's nothing I'll obsess over except money and power, only for this woman to barge in and shove me in the face of reality. I can cross limits of insanity just to have her.

And she has the fucking audacity to ignore me in front of her wimpy little ex.

I remove my mask and keep it on the nightstand in the company of my glasses.

Climbing on top of her, I wrap a hand around her throat, and squeeze it harshly. She wakes up gasping for air. I don't give her a chance to realise, reconnect and respond, my lips possess hers with a burning passion to own her.

When she retouches the surface of the reality, her hands thread into my locks and she kisses me back harder.

Anger consumes me.

If this was me as Shourya, she'd have thrown me off, cut me open and rejected me right on my face.

I squeeze her throat tighter. She chokes.

Releasing her neck, I drag my lips to her ear. "You're insane, unhinged, and crazy." I growl, blood rushing to my groin as she laughs breathlessly. I groan in pleasure when she flips us on the bed and climbs me, grinding herself on my length as she sinks into me like a broken ship, her lips crashing onto mine.

"Great." I hear her mock. "We're perfect for each other." She kisses down my throat, stretches the neckline of my t-shirt until she has my shoulder bare, then bites and nibbles the skin red. I chuckle and sit up, making her straddle my lap as I deftly remove my jacket and t-shirt.

She scoots closer, whimpers when our cores brush and buries her face on my broad shoulder. "I missed you. God, you've no idea how much I missed you." She drags her nails down my front. I lean back, my hands fisting the sheets as she traces every ridge and line on my body.

I hold her waist and throw her back on the bed. She falls with a thump. Her legs lock around my torso, she pulls me closer and we kiss again, until we're a breathless, panting, desperate mess.

After a long, hot, dirty make out, and light conversations, she falls back asleep in my arms, her head on my chest and arm wrapped loosely around my waist.

I fold my arm beneath the back of my head. The fan rotates on a slow speed. Unless she has grown habitual to its white noise, there's no need for her to keep the ceiling fan on when the AC is turned to its lowest temperature.

I switch off the fan, just to watch her reaction.

And she doesn't disappoint.

A groan escapes her, she stretches her neck like a kitten, as if searching for comfort and finds it in the space between my neck and shoulder. "Turn on the fan," she whines, slaps me on the bare stomach and then kisses my neck as an apology when I turn on the fan. I smile softly, tucking the open tresses behind her ear before I lean in to give kisses and nibbles to her smooth flesh.

At the break of dawn, I grab my things from the nightstand. My eyes linger on her during my exit from the Chauhan Palace.

"You'll see her in the University tomorrow."

I smile mirthlessly.

It's true I'll get to see her again in the University tomorrow, but the interaction wouldn't be this intimate.

I reach Rajawat Estate at six in the morning and take a shower in the bathroom to remove Rudra's scent from my body.

I've done this before.

Oftentimes.

And still,

I feel tired.

As I harshly rub my skin, struggling to become Shourya again, I feel this overwhelming exhaustion consume me. I sit on the floor, naked, under the warm shower and thread my trembling fingers into my wet hair, just breathing for a while.

The back of my head rests on the wall. I tilt my chin up, the warm shower splashes on my face, blinding the world, and in those moments that I fight to breath, I feel the most alive.

Isn't dead heavier than alive?

Why are my shoulders so worn out then?

But I bet the dead doesn't know how heavy he is. Because to himself, he must have never felt so light before. It's the world who carries his weight, and I'm almost tired of dragging my own. I'm almost tired of living.

"Shourya!" Virendra bangs on the door of my bedroom.

I sigh and force myself to get up. Finishing showering, I wrap the towel around my waist and step outside the bathroom.

Virendra storms inside my room the moment I open door for him.

"What is it?"

"Do I meddle in your plans?" He barks. I frown. "Those goons! I hired them!"

I heave a long breath. I should have known.

"This was my chance to impress him! But you ruined it!" He throws a tantrum. "Why would you do this?"

"Why would he do what?"

We both freeze. I turn around.

And there he stands, the root of all evil, my namesake Grandfather, Abhimanyu Singh Rajawat.

Though Tara's pov offers more flexibility and range of emotions, I love writing from his pov more despite it not being as easy as hers. I think I'm deranged.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.