-• the bridge •-

"I think it's better if we take Janet back to England."

I lower my gaze to the floor. Janet holds my hand tighter, as if asking me to fight for her. I can't. Not after seeing those scars on her face. I did that. And everytime she looks in the mirror, she'll be reminded of the crash, reminded of who did it to her. Who ruined her beautiful face.

Aunt Jenna nods. "Yeah, during this time, I feel she'll need her family more than anyone else."

I remove my hand from Janet's. Her parents are right. She needs to get away from this environment. Start anew without me.

"Tara, no," Janet whispers, grabbing my hand again. I look at her in disbelief.

"Janet, you need to go."

She shakes her head. "I don't want to."

"Janet, please." My voice raises. All eyes on us.

"Why?" She removes her hand and shifts away from me to look at me better. "Do I look ugly now?" I gasp. "Am I not fit to be your friend? Are you ashamed of me?"

"Janet!" Her father calls out strictly.

"Please stay out of this." She glares at her family. "This is between me and her." Her eyes come back to me.

I look at her aghast. "Do you really think our friendship was that shallow?"

"Then what is it!?" She screams, getting up from the couch. "Why are you sending me away!? I don't want to! Those three months without you felt like hell! I don't like it there!"

I frown. "Janet, that's your family."

Fresh, warm tears pour out of her eyes. "And I'm tired of them."

Her mother gasps in shock.

My family looks uncomfortable with the confrontation.

"I'm tired of them," she murmurs, her cheeks stained, drenched, flushed red. I get up as well, reducing the distance between us, and reach out for her arm. She flings herself in my embrace, not even bothered about the bruises and cuts on her face. "I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Please don't send me away." She sobs. I look at her family, my family, and everyone appears estranged, awkward, confused, embarrassed.

"Take her to your room." Yuvraaj commands.

I nod, ushering Janet with me. She stands rooted to her place, confident stare directed my eldest brother. "If you find me a burden here, I'll be fine in the dorms. But don't send me back."

"Janet," her mother calls out weakly, hurt in her voice. Janet ignores her.

When did my sensitive bestfriend turned this way? And why did I never realise the strain between her and her family? Was I really that occupied with my own mess that I disregarded the struggles people around me go through everyday?

"I make the decisions in this household." Yuvraaj says sternly. "So be your age and go to the room. Your parents and we'll decide what's best for you." He dismisses.

I drag her upstairs, albeit her little resistance.

Upon reaching the third floor, I glance towards Agastya's room. He hasn't come out of there from the time he returned from hospital. He was discharged a week after me. And he has been cooped up there for the last three days. Not even coming down for food. The kitchen staff has to serve him in his room, and the rare times I caught them taking the tray back, it was always untouched.

"Sit here, I'll get you a glass of water." I hide the limp in my ankle. My cast was taken off yesterday. But there's slight discomfort when I walk, like a pull in my muscles that's unnatural. "Here, take this." I drag my study chair closer and sit down, sighing in relief when the pain in my leg fades. "Now we're talking. And you're telling me everything." I say after she puts down the empty glass on the floor.

She sniffles. "I love them, they love me, and they're proud of me, but they are never satisfied, Tara." Her eyes brim with fresh tears again. I lean in, hold her hand in mine, a physical assurance that I'm here. "If Elliott can get into Harvard, so can you. If Elliott can do this, so can you. We believe in you. They keep lauding me among their relatives. Our Janet did this, our Janet did that, our Janet is so smart, just wait and watch she's going to get into the best university out there. Janet, why did you tell your cousin that you don't understand maths? He'll criticise you now. Janet, why did you say you want to be a writer? That's not a stable profession. Our relatives will laugh at us. Janet, why did you do this, Janet, why did you do that, Janet do this, Janet do that, it's a freaking torture!" She heaves. "I feel suffocated!" Her hands wrap around her own throat. "I can't be happy about my achievements because they already have a next goal for me set in their minds. I'm not at peace. I'm not at peace, Tara. I'm not at peace." She breaks down on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her waist, rubbing a soothing hand down her back, patting her head as she cries muffled, trembling, shaking, intentionally harder, as if she's dying to get it all out. "I wish I could be like you. I wish I can say I want to do what I like, and not what they want me to. You're so brave. So so brave. I love you." That makes me tear up too. "You're the only stability in my life, Tara. Around you I'm free. We're one, Tara. I can't go back into that hell hole. Because if I go back there, I might start hating them and that's not what I want. I don't want to hate my parents. I don't."

I nod. I understand her. I do. If I've to fight with my brother to let her stay here, I will. I'm not letting her go back there. She deserves to be at peace, she deserves to be the Janet that I became friends with when I was ten years old, and she deserves to be here.

"Okay, okay," we pull away and I wipe her cheeks, tuck back the tear matted hair. "You're not going anywhere. Do you hear me?" I cup her face.

She sniffles harder, gives me a nod.

"You'll stay here with me."

She nods again.

"And you'll choose literature as your major."

She stiffens.

I notice, my tone softens. "What was the last thought you had before you went unconscious?"

"That I'm dying, and I've too many regrets, too many apologies that I owe to myself."

"That's right. We're choosing literature as your major."

She nods eagerly, a pained smile on her face, brown eyes glossed over.

"Everything will be fine." I tell her, my thumb tracing the scar on her cheek. "I'm so sorry for this."

She clicks her tongue. "Don't worry about it. I'm hotter now."

I chuckle. "You're so weird."

"That's why you love me." She grins and hugs me again. I wound my arms around her waist, my face buried in her lavender scented hair. We sway sideways.

Someone clears their throat at the doorstep. Janet pulls away. I spin my chair to face the person. It's Yuvraaj.

"I've talked to your parents," he addresses Janet directly. She swallows. I shift closer to her, placing my hand on top of hers. She stops wringing her fingers and clutches my fingers tightly. "They're allowing you to stay here." We both sigh in relief. "We've also made an appointment with a plastic surgeon for you. Tomorrow at one. Be ready. You can tag along. You've a weekly check up too." He glances at me before leaving.

I bite on my lower lip and turn around.

"Do I look that horrible?"

I shake my head. "You look hot."

"Let's see what the doctor has to say." She nods.

"Yeah, if it can be covered up, why not?"

She hums. "Tell me about you," she looks me in the eyes.

"About me?" I raise a brow in confusion.

"You met him a week ago. Did you meet him again?"

I shake my head. "But we're in touch through phone calls."

"Seriously?" She leans in, surprised at the revelation.

I blush. "Yup. He texts me sometimes."

"Oh," she smiles lopsided. "And what do you guys talk about?"

I bite my lower lip. "Just some random stuff."

"C'mon, tell-"

"Janet?" Aunt Jenna's voice stops us both. I turn my chair. She stands at the threshold of my room, looking at her daughter longingly. "We agreed with your wish. Can I at least spend some time with you tonight?"

Janet nods softly. "I'll see you tomorrow." She squeezes my shoulder before walking out of the room with her mother. The door closes with their exit. I sigh and drop my head back.

I look at my phone on the desk. He didn't call me for the last two days. The thought troubles me, but I try not to think about it. He came, and that's what matters. I did say I'm not one of those who'd rather have everything or nothing. I'll get what I can get.

Shourya didn't try to contact me after that visit in the hospital. Good riddance. I admit I felt jealous seeing him dance with those women that night in the club, but he crossed the line when he kissed me without my consent. I had decided never to talk to him, but he saved us that night, and I owe my life to him. Though I can't reciprocate his feelings anymore, I have to at least respect them.

My thoughts revert to Agastya.

He took the hardest hit among us all.

I still fail to believe he threw himself on top of me when the jeep crashed into us. What the hell was he thinking!? He would have gotten out of it with the least damage if he hadn't done that. Is that how much he loves me? That he was ready to die in my place?

I haven't talked to him since the accident.

Nobody has.

He isn't letting anyone in.

During our last weekly visit to the hospital, I tried to talk to him, but he only responded in a nod or the shake of his head. I'm dying to hear my brother. I want to hug him, soothe him, tell him the end of his baseball career is not the end of his life. But who am I kidding? Baseball was his life. I'm afraid of what's going on inside his head right now. The sombre, blank look on his face terrifies me. My brother went from the most cheerful to the most silent. I hate to say this, but he looks dead, an alive corpse. The possibilities of future scare me. I hope he's able to come out of this, I hope he let's us help him.

Initially, I wanted to confront the one who did this to us, but she's dead. She lost her life. We didn't know each other, had never met before, yet one unfortunate encounter turned our lives upside down, and there's no way we can even see each other anymore.

Life was about to be the best version of itself for us, and now it's the worst.

The next morning, we all gather in the dining hall for breakfast. Vivaan is taking us to the hospital for the weekly check-up. I've got rid of the cast on my ankle, and my ribs are almost healed, but they still need to make sure everything is fine.

"Try to put this past you and focus on your studies. You'll be starting University next week." Yuvraaj elegantly cuts through his veg sandwich, eats it, all in complete nonchalance. "Agastya," the man on wheelchair tilts his head up. "I talked to the authorities and managed to squeeze you in for the law. They weren't accepting late applications, but I pursued them somehow. So do your best."

My jaw drops. "Are you for real?"

Dad clasps my wrist, my eyes shift to him. He shakes his head.

"What's wrong?" Yuvraaj inquires.

I remove my hand away from dad's and glare at the heartless man. "Are you even hearing yourself!?"

He sighs. "I don't have time for your dramatics. Let's be practical here. His future isn't stopping for him. It's better he forgets what he was about to do, and focus on what else he can do now."

"Why are you like this?" I ask, genuinely concerned. Where's the empathy? Where's the love? How is he so cold all the time?

"Tara, stop." Yuvaan commands me.

"I apologise if I'm not emotionally sensitive like you, and that I don't cry over every other unfortunate incident I face in life. Suck it up and face the world. It's not going to sob with you." He drops the napkin, the chair screeches back, and he's out of the hall.

I look at Vivaan, hoping at least he understands, he looks away from me. My eyes drift to Agastya. He still has that hollow darkness in his eyes. Like nothing affects him anymore.

I sigh in defeat.

During our drive to the hospital, I try to make small talks. "Should we eat outside today?"

"Should we?" Vivaan raises a brow through rearview mirror.

"What do you think, Agastya?"

He doesn't respond.

I lean in between front seats, "Agastya?" His eyes are fixed on the bridge we cross. I touch him. "Agastya?" He flinches. "What's wrong?" He shakes his head, glances back at the river, and then looks ahead. I frown. He did this the last time we went for a check-up too. Watched the river like it holds something fascinating.

I give up on making small conversations.

The trip to hospital was prolonged since Janet had to go through multiple tests to see if the surgery is possible in her case. We stop at Agastya's favourite restaurant on our way back. But he barely eats anything.

Then we come back home and he locks himself inside his room.

I lie back on the bed, close my eyes, try to sleep. I haven't slept well for the last few days. I can't. The night keeps coming back. The sounds, the screams, the sirens, the flashes, everything catches up to me the moment I'm zoned out of reality. I'm afraid of telling this to anyone that I've nightmares. I shouldn't be the focus of my family right now. It should be Agastya.

He doesn't come down for dinner. As expected. Nobody tries to disturb him.

Another day passes without seeing him.

Then another.

Then another.

Until a maid knocks haphazardly on my door, and reveals Agastya isn't in his room. She brushed it off when she brought in breakfast and lunch, but seeing the empty room when she took in dinner as well, made her realise something is wrong.

Fear engulfs me.

I draw in a shawl over my white nightdress and rush out of the room, down to the ground floor, my feet striding with purpose towards Yuvraaj's room.

He opens the door. Dressed in a white t-shirt and black sweats, looking down at me in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"Agastya hasn't been in his room the whole day. I'm not getting a good feeling." I tell him.

The palace wakes up after he makes a few calls. My family gathers in the living room, before everyone disperses to find him. Janet and I search outside. The garden, field, shooting site, swimming pool, basketball court, garage, but he's nowhere.

As we're about to leave the garage, I see Arush entering with his car keys, striding towards his car. "Let me come along." I rush towards him, Janet follows me. He nods and gets in the driver seat. I occupy the passenger seat, Janet slides inside the backseat.

The wheels screech as he swerves the car. I hold the dashboard.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" We hear Ayush scream. Arush sighs, but waits. The other twin gets in. "Vivaan Bhai and Yuvaan Bhai went together, and Dad and Yuvraaj -"

"Shut up." Arush snaps.

"Yeah, sorry." Ayush nods in understanding.

Arush doesn't hold back when he drives. We've to keep reminding him that driving fast doesn't ensure finding Agastya fast. We've to look at the roads and buildings to search for him. He heeds to the advice and slows the speed.

We start with the practice field and seperate in the parking lot. I search through the building, the washroom, changing room, sports room, basketball court, but he's nowhere. When I come back to the parking lot, everyone has the same defeated expressions in their eyes as me. We pile in the car and drive to the second location. His usual hang out spot. The bleachers behind our old school. Nothing. Then the clubs he frequents to. Disappointed there as well. His friends' house. They look just as panicked. His girlfriends had no idea either.

"Where could he go?" Arush mumbles to himself, patting the steering wheel until he starts hitting it. "Where could he go!?"

I flinch.

And the memory hits me.

"The bridge." I whisper, my voice eerie, hinting at the decision that people make to find a forever kind of end.

"What?" Ayush and Janet echo. Arush looks at me flabbergasted.

"The bridge." I repeat, a little more confident. "The one we pass on our way to the hospital." I tell the guys.

"What are you trying to say?" Ayush questions.

"No," Arush shakes his head. "Tha- That can't be."

"I hope so too. But everytime we crossed that bridge, he used to go into some kind of trance. It was weird." I explain.

Arush shifts the gear, presses on the accelerator and the car picks up speed.

We touch the threshold of the bridge. The car slows down. As we approach the centre, a figure standing on the guardrail becomes visible under the moonlight. The blood freezes in my veins.

"Fuck." Arush whispers.

"Stop the car." He nods and stops the car at the side of the bridge. Everyone gets out. "Don't try to force him down. He'll retaliate."

"But Ayush and I can just-"

"No, no, no," I whisper. The tears in his eyes break my heart. I hold his shoulders. "Let me handle this. And if my way doesn't work, then do it your way okay?" He forces a nod at me.

My heart stutters, and I'm unable to breath at a normal pace. But I still approach him, with shaky feet, trembling hands, shivering body, and a panicked laced gaze. I stop until I'm at a hearing distance, not too far that he can't notice me, not too close that he'll think I'm trying to physically subdue him.

"Agastya?"

He startles, holds the railings tightly, his head whips to me. I almost crumble to my knees seeing his blood shot eyes and tear-stricken face. "Tara, it's over."

I shake my head. "It's not." I say against the roaring winds.

"It is." He looks down at the river. "Everything's over. I've lost everything."

"No, you didn't." I whimper.

"Look at me." He glares at me. "I've nothing!"

"You've yourself."

"Broken, useless, I can't make anything of myself. It's over. I'm finished. My dreams, my ambitions, my future, me, everything's over." He starts gasping, as if he's slowly realising how much he has lost. "I can't live. I can't. I can't."

"You just need to find something that will keep you going."

"And that was baseball." He sobs, his body hunching as he leans over, holding the railings tightly. My heart lurches forward in fear. I stop the twins from moving from their place. Their determination to keep him alive might be the last push he is looking for. "I've lost the purpose. I don't want to live. I can't." He throws one leg out and places it on the outside of the safety barrier, followed by the other.

"No! No! No!" We scream.

He looks at us in a warning, holding the bars tightly. "Don't come closer. I'll jump."

"Agastya, please -"

"No. I can't live. I've nothing. I can't live like this." He shakes his head, glances down at the river. He finds solace in those unseen depths. A cease in those countable breaths.

"We're here for you."

He looks at us vulnerably. "I'm sorry." His eyes dart towards the twins. "I'm sorry, forgive me." He shakes his head and looks down, having made his decision.

"Bhai, don't" I call out, the word rolls of my tongue laced with love and desperation. "Don't leave me. Don't leave us. We need you. We love you."

He freezes.

"Remember I said I'm never calling you Bhai? You said one day I will." I step forward carefully. "You win. And I've never lost so victoriously before." He breathes harshly. From my peripheral vision, I see two other cars drive in and stop at a distance. "Vivaan Bhai challenged you. He said if you make me call you Bhai, you'll get to carry my Doli in his place." I whisper. "If you go, who'll carry my Doli?" I ask him softly. "Do you want Yuvaan to do that in your place? Will you miss your opportunity to him?"

His shoulders tremble violently. He cries hard.

"I just got you in my life, would you leave me so early?"

His tear filled eyes meet mine. We look much the same. Broken, traumatized, hopeless. "Don't leave me. Don't leave us." The twins step up beside me on my left. The three other brothers on my right. "We're not whole without you."

"Consider me the fallen star." He murmurs. "The world will not even notice."

"But the sky will." I smile wryly. "We will."

"Will life get better?" He asks timidly.

"Together? Yes." I smile through my tears. "We just need to be together. The world is ours." I step closer, reach out to him with my hand. "Please, Bhai, I just started to call you that, let me call you the same for the rest of our lives."

Hesitantly, his trembling hand lifts off the railing and slides into mine. Yuvraaj and Vivaan react in a second's time and haul him off the bridge.

Agastya pulls me in his arms. I embrace him fiercely. "You've got me, you've got us, Bhai."

I nod at everyone else to join us. The twins hug me from behind, Vivaan wraps his arms around us, Yuvaan too, and reluctantly, so does Yuvraaj. He's so huge, his arms hide us from the world like a protective net. I've never seen him at peace before. But in this moment, he does. Like his world is safe.

"I was so scared." Agastya weeps, his face buried in my shoulder.

"I know, Bhai. I know." I soothe him.

I've been holding it for this moment! She finally called him Bhai!

I know the last few chapters got a little too heavy. Well, it's Ruin in Royals. We'll shift the focus on the unexplored mysteries again.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.