-• back to london •-

Jeju was beautiful.

The roads, the picturesque mountains, beaches, food, everything about the place was just what I had imagined.

But it didn't feel like what I had imagined, it didn't feel like what I expected after Shourya's departure.

I was supposed to have fun with my brothers. I was supposed to enjoy my final getaway of the year now that he was no longer there to annoy me. But then I realised it wasn't him physically ruining this vacation for me, it was him doing it mentally, sitting relaxed in my head, owning my thoughts, my attention, even my confusion. He and Rudra know exactly how to throw me off the track. The similarities between them are uncanny, but witnessing his reaction that night-- no, his abhorrence, his hatred, and his rage to be mistaken as someone else felt real.

The night keeps coming back to me, without heeding to the time of the day, or the people I'm around, definitely not caring that I haven't slept well for the last five days.

My body stiffens everytime I remember that night. We didn't do anything, he didn't even kiss me. But his arms felt mine. His proximity felt mine. He felt mine. Like he was all made for me, to own, to break, to piece back and use. He wanted me despite knowing I've someone else in my head, that I was imagining someone else in his place. It felt empowering.

I was never wanted so desperately by someone. The one guy I was ready to risk it all for played me as per his convenience. But Shourya felt different, and to think he always reminds me of Rudra.

What if I had let him have me that night?

I bite my lower lip and exhale deeply. The possibilities are endless, my imagination is wild, but the moment has passed. Sometimes I lament letting go of him that night, sometimes I thank God for knocking some sense into me at the right time.

I can't entangle myself in the web of mysteries, crimes, and lies sewed by the Rajawats. The family is problematic. Getting involved with their heir would just throw me in catastrophic calamities I'm not strong to face. And my brothers might just kill him off. Each one of them hates that family with a passion, and rightfully so, Rajawats deserve it. I don't know what they've done, what they're doing behind the thick black curtains of pretense and charity, but I'm sensible enough to guess it is something inhumane and downright horrible.

Everyone in my family hopes I hate them too. Yeah, Shourya might be different, must be why Vivaan Bhai asked me to treat him nice, but I'm sure his definition of nice didn't mean I'm allowed to throw myself into his arms and get freaky beneath the sheets. If my brothers get an inkling of my thoughts, poor men might just have a heart attack.

"I don't think it'll snow." Tanya comes to stand beside me.

I chuckle unamused. "As if the weather forecast was not enough to tell you that."

"I had hope, okay." She defends, leaning in at the edge and clasping her hands at the end.

The wind is colder up here. It's not snowing but I don't think I'd be standing here so calmly if it was. I'm already shaking in my boots despite wearing thick coat, knee length boots and a woolen muffler to cover my neck. Sniffling softly, I blow through my mouth, and the frail trail of fog escapes into the air.

"You haven't been you lately," she says, taking me by surprise with her words.

"What do you mean?"

Turning her head, she tilts it to the side and smiles languidly. "Since he left, you haven't been you."

I scoff out a chuckle. "What even?" I shake my head. "If anything, I'm so glad he left. He was starting to get on my nerves."

"For the right reasons?"

"For the wrong reasons." I grit out.

"I saw you that night."

Shock reels me speechless, my head snaps to her, eyes wide open as I watch her watch me calmly. Like she didn't just dunk my head in a bucket full of ice water. Metaphorically, of course.

"I came out to offer you a shawl. Then didn't see you guys around. I searched the party before just blindly looking around. So imagine my surprise when I saw you two getting frisky against a tree." Her brows shoot upward in surprise. If possible, my heart drops from the ribcage and into the labyrinth of my intestines. I'm sure that's not biologically possible, but that's what it feels like. "Don't worry. I didn't stop to watch after he picked you up and slammed you to that tree." She shakes her head, mirth spilling her tone as she looks back ahead. "Wow, you guys were rough!" She exclaims, sounding amazed.

I feel the shame drown me. "Tanya," scooting closer, I place a shaky hand on her arm. "Nothing happened. I swear to God -"

"I know. You returned to the tent shortly after. Then next day, he left. So I joined the dots." She shrugs.

I sigh in relief and cover my face with my hands. "It was a mistake."

"Did it feel like?"

"Yes!" I state after dropping my hands to my side. "Our families hate each other, Tanya. You've no idea how overly protective my brothers are-"

"I think I know," she points over her shoulder to where Agastya is, clicking pictures from my camera.

I smile humorlessly. "He's nothing. The other two are much worse. If Yuvraaj threatens to get rid of a boy in my life he doesn't like, Yuvaan is ready to step into his shoes and do the job."

Her jaw drops. "Oh, fuck."

"Shourya is just not any boy. He's a Rajawat. The crown prince of Rajgarh. The families might not show it openly, but you can feel the tension between the two when they stand in the same room." I sigh regrettably.

"Well, I'm sorry, I guess. I shouldn't have encouraged you to go for him without knowing the whole story."

"No, don't blame yourself." I shake my head. "I did what I wanted to. Now I regret it."

"What if you two fall in love with each other?"

I look at her weirdly for saying the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. "What?" A breathy laugh escapes me. "It was in a heat of the moment, Tanya, c'mon."

"You might not be serious, but oh my boy was seething the next day." She says teasingly.

I swallow. "What do you mean?"

"He stared at you like he didn't know whether to kill you or fuck you."

I gasp at her crude words. "Tanya!"

She giggles, shrugging nonchalantly. "Well, I'd advise you to stay away from him in future if you don't want to give your family any more reasons to hate Rajawats even more than they already do. Because he looked like he was ready to throw the caution out of the window for you."

"Stop making up shit." I shake my head, not believing her words.

She laughs softly at my reaction.

We leave the Namsan Tower shortly after. The night is young, and the moon chases us all the way back to the hotel. Considering it is our last night here, and thereby last day with Tanya, we invite her for dinner. She agrees after a little bit of persuasion. For our last night, even the secretary joins us, the thirty-something-old man that I called hot aloud. And my view of him hasn't changed yet. He brought his family over to get us more comfortable. His wife is a gorgeous woman. The two fit together like a Vogue cover couple.

The next day, the director of the Atlas Group personally comes down to see us off at the airport. His son, having become friends with the twins, exchange numbers and social media profiles with eachother. Agastya, being the older among us, greets the man using culturally appropriate mannerisms, which impresses the man in his forties. He's not hot like how they show in dramas, but he's a decent, down to earth man whose laugh reminds me of Santa Claus.

We enter the jet once it's ready to fly and buckle up.

Not to go home, but to fly back to London.

And for some reason, the thought of going back to the place that had me losing everything in life, scares me slightly. But I'm excited to meet Janet, and my brothers and father.

I reach out to hold Agastya's hand. He startles at the sudden action of affection but then seeing the look on my face, melts and immediately unbuckles himself, putting up the handrest before he pulls me in a bone crushing hug.

"I'm going to miss you." I whisper, hugging him tighter, as if leaving him for now ensues leaving him forever. He has become a huge part of my life. I'm going to miss the morning run, the teasing, the pranks, the jokes, and the way he calls me short stuff.

"Hey, I'm not going right away."

"Yeah, not right away. But eventually." And that eventually is closer. After we land, in only, merely, two days. My eyes tear up at the thought, and they spill down the threshold, drenching his shirt as I breakdown in sobs. I hate leaving people behind. But that's what my life has been since I learned to love people. No one ever stays.

"Shh, Tara, shh," his voice turns heavy. "Hey, my little princess," he tries to pull away but I don't let him. It's safe and warm in his arms. I couldn't even enjoy my brother's company because my head was occupied with Shourya and Rudra, and now I regret it. It only matters after we lose it. Time is the most prominent regret the world has.

"Tara?" Ayush's soft voice compels me to pull away, he's knelt before me, smiling that warm, comforting smile of his. "It's okay. You're going to be okay. We'll be with you." He cups my knee and rubs it gently.

"Yeah, and I'm his favourite, but see, I'm not crying." Arush nudges me on the shoulder.

My brows furrow together as I look at Agastya. "He's your favourite?"

He shakes his head- "Bhai!" A screeching complaint, and Agastya nods his head. I simper at the two, wiping off the tears from my cheeks.

"Are we ready to serve lunch?" The stewardess interrupts politely.

Agastya looks up first. "Yes, please, we're starving." He smiles.

Seeing my brothers and Dad after the arduous and borderline tortuous eleven hour long flight was a blessing in disguise. So imagine my surprise when a black Rolls Royce rolled in and the unexpected personality stepped out.

I gasp, hurrying down the steps of the jet when I spot Yuvraaj at the airport.

My first priority were of course Vivaan and Dad, but once I had my fill of them, I quickly deviated towards Yuvraaj, who, upon noticing me come closer, hung up on whoever he was talking to and propelled the phone back into his pocket.

"Did you come here for me?" I smile sweetly at him.

He clears his throat. "I had a business to do-"

"Jhoota." I enunciate, chuckling at the face of shock he makes. I love making him react. He rarely expresses himself openly but my shenanigans successfully do it for him. Hearing others laugh behind me, I send them a wink and hear a click of tongue dripping of disappointment in response from the Crown Prince.

When my eyes drift back to the onyx ones, Yuvraaj shakes his head. "Women of Chauhan family don't wink. That's very-"

I wink at him.

He blinks, startled.

That just makes everyone else laugh harder.

Grabbing his hand in mine, I interlace our fingers and drag him to where everyone else stands. "So, where are we going first? Let's go to McDonald's. I'm craving some meat burgers." I rub my hand on my belly. From my peripheral vision, I see Yuvraaj and Ayush scrunch their nose in detest. "Don't worry they have some vegan options too." Ayush sighs in relief.

"We'll go to a restuarant-"

"I don't want to go to a restuarant." I'm throwing a tantrum. And I'm aware of that.

"Taranya, McDonald's is for cheap -"

"Hey, I survived on McDonald's in the first year of my mother's cancer diagnosis." I cut him off.

He falls quiet after that.

"Whatever Taranya wants, she gets." Vivaan swings an arm around my shoulders.

"That's why you're my favourite brother!" I hi-five him.

Inevitably, Yuvraaj agrees with a nod of his head. We pile inside the car and head out of the airport, driving to the nearest McDonald's in the city.

And the eyes we pull from all across the room when we step in could make one believe we're some sort of celebrities. I look at my men, all of them dressed impeccably in either custom-made suits or designer casuals. The embarrassment that crawls through me wills me to dig a hole and burrow myself there forever. Seriously, couldn't they have wore something normal? It feels like we're not here for a round of burgers and french fries, but to take over this McDonald's outlet.

The worker at the counter wipes his hands on the apron frantically, his eyes wide in alarm. "Ho-How can I he- help you? Gentlemen." He adds softly, then finds me in between the towering figures, "and lady," he whispers.

"I'll take two grilled cheese chicken burgers, fries and 20 pieces McNuggets." Agastya nods. "Oh, and a glass of coke."

"I'll take one chicken burger, fries and coke." Arush says after him.

"I'll take the same as him." I point at Agastya.

The guy nods, types it on the screen and then looks expectantly at the remaining men.

"I'll take the same as him." Vivaan pats Arush's head.

"Same here." Dad and Yuvaan echo together.

"Are there any vegetarian options?" Ayush inquires softly.

"Of course, you can see them on the left screen." The man points behind him at the wall.

"I'll take the first one then." Ayush nods with a polite smile.

We all look at Yuvraaj, waiting for him to order something for himself. He shakes his head. "I'm not eating this."

"Why?" I frown.

"Have you seen the prices?" He hisses. "Who sells a burger so cheap?"

"It's fast food. It is supposed to be cheap. That's the purpose of their existence." I explain like I'm talking to a child.

"No. I'm not trusting a dish that costs anything below two hundred euros if I'm stepping out to eat."

My mouth falls agape. So does the man's behind the counter.

"It's not a high end restuarant-"

"And that's a valid reason to not have a standard?" He counters.

I breathe out exasperatedly. He's just not getting the point. "It's for teenagers like us. We can't afford to eat out and spend hundreds of euros. No middle class family can."

"Well, isn't that great then? I'm neither a teenager nor poor. Excuse me, I'll be at the table." Then he turns and saunters off.

I glare after him.

"Forget it," Vivaan ruffles my hair.

"He sounded so spoilt just now." Agastya mutters under his breath.

"Yeah, well he has earned it." Yuvaan snorts.

"Did he eat anything today?" I look up at Vivaan worriedly.

"Not after lunch, no." He shakes his head.

I throw my head back to groan before turning around to look at the guy behind the counter. "How much time will it take?"

"Take out or-"

"Take out." I answer.

"Ten minutes max." He smiles nervously.

"Thanks." I say and turn around to walk up to the table to wait.

"We could have just used a drive through if we weren't eating here." Arush grumbles under his breath.

"We can't just leave one out and enjoy our meal." Vivaan explains him.

I sit at the table Yuvraaj has occupied, now busy in his phone after acting like a literal man-child at the counter. Our order comes twenty minutes later, and the employee apologises us for the delay.

"You guys are not eating here?" Yuvraaj looks up at us in apparent confusion.

"Nope, let's go to your high end restuarant so you won't get another reason to drown yourself in work without a bite in your stomach." I bite back.

Yuvraaj stares at me for a second long. "You're not eating here because of me?" He points at himself hesitantly.

"Precisely, now can we leave? Everyone's hungry." Vivaan replies.

"Yes, please." Agastya grunts.

"Alright, let's go," there's undeniable cockiness in my eldest brother's voice as he gets up and buttons his blazer, walking out of the restuarant followed by us.

I gravitate towards my father as we make our way back to the parking lot. "He fell as a child, didn't he?"

Dad chuckles. "No. Now that I think, he never fell actually." Then his smile fades and a grim look settles on his face.

"Dad?"

He flinches.

"What's wrong?"

"She- she once tried to drown him in a bathtub." He whispers.

My blood runs cold.

I don't know what I expected to hear, but that was not it. And it automatically stops me. Dad realizes what he blurted out and pauses abruptly, looking at me with regret written all over his face.

"What's wrong?" Vivaan asks, and hearing him, the others stop too.

I inhale a shaky breath and blink back the tears, avoiding to look at Yuvraaj, knowing if I did I might just have a breakdown on his behalf. The more I hear about that witch, the more she makes me realise the depths of hatred I'm capable of feeling.

Plastering a smile on my face, I shake my head and rush up to my father, holding his hand as I steer him back around. "Nothing. The thought of you guys leaving day after tomorrow just got me sad all of a sudden. Right, Dad?"

He forces himself to nod.

"Let's go," I motion the others with my hand. We resume walking.

"Taranya, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell you this now. God, that was horrible." He whispers remorsefully.

It was. It was a horrible way of letting someone into your scarred past. I was not ready for it. Especially when it concerns one of my brothers.

Was traumatizing Vivaan not enough for her? What was wrong with that woman? Honestly, if she wasn't dead, she'd have died by my hands by now. And I'm not kidding. The thought of someone hurting my brothers, even if their own mother, boils my fucking blood.

Yuvraaj takes us to one of the most expensive restaurants I've ever been to. I've only looked at this one from outside. Never did I think I'll be able to step past the threshold and be treated as a VIP.

"Mr. Chauhan," the manager smiles in welcome, coming personally to attend my brother. My brows scrunch together. He knows who we are.

"How does he know him?" I ask Vivaan in a whisper.

"Yuvraaj Bhai travelled to London quiet frequently after overtaking our family business." He mumbles.

That's the second time my heart clenches today. To think one day I might have passed by this restuarant, not knowing my half brother is inside, and he too, must have glanced at me through the window, not knowing our paths would cross so unexpectedly in future. Life sure is strange.

The manager escorts us to a private cabin and we settle down. Yuvraaj orders himself a series of classy vegetarian dishes, the names I've never heard of before, with eight servings of chocolate mousse and a bottle of red wine.

And then I take out our McDonald's junk food. He shakes his head in disappointment, elegantly stabbing through his salad and eating a lettuce leaf that's probably drizzled with some salt and pepper.

"I've one too!" I point at my pitifully hanging corner of lettuce leaf, pulling it out, causing the mayonnaise and sauces to spill on the table before I shove it in my mouth.

Yuvraaj might as well be looking at an alien the way he stares at me.

"The next time you eat like that, I'm disowning you." He says it, and he means it.

I gasp. "Bhai!"

Everyone else bursts out laughing. Hearing them, watching them, makes my heart swell with happiness.

I'm so lucky to be a part of this group. This forever kind of group.

I love this family omg 😭❤️

Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.