-• your proximity burns me •-

He grabs the seat of my chair and yanks it closer. I gasp in shock, my hands reaching out to hold his arm as it almost topples over. Our eyes clash, and his breath fans my face, stringing down every inch of my skin. Like river, as it follows the course of the wind, his gaze follows the course of my body, descending to my lips, then to my jaw, down the curve of my neck, before finally meeting the expanse of my shoulders, and like river meeting the sea, it gets lost there.

What are you doing to me, Shourya?

He dips his head low, his breath dancing down the slope of my neck. My lips part automatically, anything to keep the oxygen going into my lungs. His proximity is burning, it's scalding hot, yet I know the moment he touches me, I'm going to freeze like a block of ice. But he doesn't need to touch me to remind me what he feels like. He just needs to look at me. And like we've known each other in every past life, his closeness becomes familiar, it becomes one with my presence, like it's only obvious he's where I am. He exists in such contrasting phenomenons, two very opposite ends of every emotions, either extreme rage or extreme calm. Completely nonchalant or overwhelmingly passionate.

He pulls away to look into my eyes, but a strong breeze slithers from behind, obscuring him from my sight as untamed tresses of raven locks dance on my cheeks. I fluster when his arm lifts, and the long, deft fingers almost touch the end of my strands, but stop at the last moment, his touch hesitating, as though he'll have to confront whatever's compelling him to come close to me.

And honestly, I feel the same. Touching each other will make it real. It'll make it irreversible.

So I pull back first and look away. From my peripheral vision, his hand drops to his side before he gets up unceremoniously to leave.

"Why did you do that?" I'd rather blame it on him than face it alone myself.

He turns his head just a little and juts his chin to my left. I look to where he gestures and scoot back in fear spotting a huge frog where previously my chair was. "Oh, shit." I get up from the chair and scurry past him, putting a good five feet distance between me and the frog.

He stuffs his hands deeper into his pockets, regarding me with calm eyes. "I thought you'd rather kiss a frog than feel anything more than annoyance towards me?" He tilts his head to the side, feigning curiousity.

Ignoring him, I turn to leave.

"Taranya, I'm leaving."

My feet freeze in place, and unexpectedly, I feel something drop in my stomach. I bite my lower lip anxiously, waiting for him to say something more. I'm forced to face him when he doesn't, but waits expectantly for my response.

"When?" I ask, ignoring the why that was on tip of my tongue.

"Tomorrow. You said you can't stand me." He shifts closer, his feet almost touching my toes. Damnit, I should have put some socks on. My toes curl automatically and I wonder if it's because of the cold.

I nod, humming softly. "Safe journey, then." And I whirl around to leave.

"I'm respecting your wish to be left alone. What do I get in return?"

I pause with a startling realisation, my heart slamming against the ribcage, echoing aloud, screams of chaos in my head as my mind frantically rushes back to dig through the memories.

"I believe I'm doing you a favour. I need something in return."

He has to know Rudra. There has to be some connection between them. I turn around again, looking at him carefully, trying to find any similarity between the two. If not same, then maybe brothers? And if not brothers, then definitely same.

I hold out my hand to him.

There are just so many hints I cannot ignore. And if he's leaving soon, this is my last chance to find out the truth.

"Want to go on a walk with me?" I whisper, my voice lilting, a sweet, soft, sensual smile playing on my lips.

The close ends of his brows scrunch together, confusion apparent in his eyes. I step closer, throwing out the discomfort I felt earlier. If I need to strip him naked of his lies, I need to show myself emotionally bare to him. "C'mon," I urge in a soothing tone.

He looks down at my waiting hand and raises his own, gently slipping it into mine, then stiffens when I hold it firmly, giving it a reassuring squeeze. His eyes lift, and I feel like he's seeing me differently this time, a side of me he didn't expect but has intrigued him.

I hide the smirk, broadening my smile as I push back the voluptuous cascade of my hair with a flick of my head, my eyes not leaving his handsome face, not even when his gaze drops low to my shoulders, unable to stop himself.

"Let's go before Agastya spots us," I say in a whisper and drag him in the opposite direction of the crowd. He stumbles after me, slightly dazed, maybe because of the beer he drank along with the others a few minutes ago.

When we're finally out of the sight of people, I turn and walk backward, our hands still held together, bridging us despite the small distance between us. "So?" I tilt my head to the side suggestively. "What do you want?"

His eyes darken and he yanks me close, causing me to collide with his chest. My hand flies to hold his bicep, the other sandwiched between us, keeping that last straw of sanity intent. "Don't play these games with me, Taranya." He grits out, his jaw clenched, and the muscles below his ears flex. His touch, cold and icy, snakes around my body, arousing goosebumps across every inch of my skin.

"Games?" I raise a brow at him. "I'm genuine." I shrug, lowering my hand from his arm, stroking my thumb against the pulse on his wrist before lifting his hand to settle on my waist. "The attraction is getting out of hands now. And don't even try to deny that you don't feel it." I careen closer.

He swallows.

His chest heaves visibly, rise and sink, hard and fast, and his full lips part to inhale the air, his eyes fleeting all across my body.

Boys.

So fucking easy.

"Shourya," I hold his cheek, caressing the sharp line of his jaw. "If you don't want to regret it, tonight is your last chance."

He grounds his teeth together, his patience hanging by the thin thread, the internal battle between right and wrong vividly flashing across his light brown eyes. I rise on my tip toes, my lips now right below his jaw, and I press a soft kiss there.

C'mon, give into me for fucks sake. I'm tired of playing a seductress now.

He grabs my shoulders and shoves me off, holding me at an arm's length. Shame burns through me at blatant rejection.

"Fine-" I try to play it off casually. But he grabs my hand and drags me deeper into the deserted area of the campsite. I feel the panic flow through me at the possibility of what I just invited upon myself.

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

"Shou- Shourya-" I gasp when he throws me against the bark of a tree before erasing the distance between us in two long strides.

Mission abort.

Oh my God, mission abort.

"Shourya-"

"Shut up and take it," he pins my hands to the side, burying his face in the nook of my neck, and he inhales deep, before releasing an animal like growl. "Fuck, you've no idea how long you've been teasing me with this," the cold tip of his nose drags down the curve, and my lips fall apart as I take a shuddering, shaky breath, my limbs trembling at my sides.

My head falls back and I bite my tongue to hold back a moan. He's doing things to my virgin body that I absolutely detest from my future self's perspective, but God damnit, why does it feels so good right now?

I feel his hands clasp my waist before he picks me up effortlessly. My jaw drops and a yelp escapes my lips. I react instinctively, my legs wrapping around his firm torso in response, feet locking on his back. He watches my reaction with amusement. I look at him in shock, my hands resting on his broad shoulders, before they drag lower, and I gently push on his chest, dropping my gaze and blushing when I see our lower bodies connected. My mouth dries up instantly.

He pushes me against the rough bark of the tree and the spikes stab me in the back, causing my spine to arch like a bow, pushing my breasts close to his face. He swears under his breath and I straighten up immediately, red coating every corner of my body.

I don't know the end of this, but the beginning already has me dizzy.

I bite my lower lip when he dips his face in the curve of my neck, his breath breaching the safe distance before his mouth follows the suit. I clutch his shoulders tightly, my muscles clenching all over, and I respond by digging my nails into his skin.

My eyes fall close, and I drop my head back, the line between real and unreal, moment and memory appearing completely blur. So the name that leaves my mouth leaves both of us shocked. "Rudra-"

He stops abruptly, then quickly releases me from his hold and steps back a few times, raking a hand through his hair before looking at me in disbelief.

I blink hastily, regret clawing at my insides. "Shou- Shourya, I'm sorry-"

"Right, right, of course," he chuckles humorlessly, dragging a hand down his face. "You were seeing someone else in me. You were mistaking me for someone else."

I shake my head but then stop. I'd be lying if I say otherwise. "I'm sorry. Look, I'm sorry, and I'm not even going to deny that. You confuse me, Shourya. Please tell me you know who I'm talking about."

He stiffens.

"The second time I met him was at your house. And he asked me for a ridiculous favour." I blabber out, frustrated with all the mystery surrounding him. "I tried to cut him off my life. But he kept coming back. And then, then we- I just know he has fucked with my head. I need to know who he is. Please tell me you know what I'm talking. Please tell me I don't sound insane." I beg him softly.

"You do." He looks straight into my eyes. "But do I remind you of him?" And he suddenly steps closer.

I plaster myself to the tree, blinking constantly to avoid looking into his eyes for longer than a second. "I'm sorry. I know I hurt you-"

"Am I allowed to have you as him?" He questions softly.

My brows draw closer. "What?"

His eyes drift to my bare shoulders and I see them darken. "You can think of me as him for tonight."

My face transforms into a look of disgust. I place my hands on his chest and push him back. "Don't you dare!" I raise a finger, the fear inside me subsiding when he doesn't try to invade my space again, his gaze darting to the ground.

I make a move to walk past him. And I don't even get to take two steps further when his words stop me.

"You shouldn't have played me like that, Tara." He grits out. I stand rooted to my place, not brave enough to face him. "You shouldn't have used me to know his secrets. I can't condone that."

"So you know him," I turn around to face him.

"I don't."

"You're lying." I state, because I know he is. He has to be lying.

"You're not getting anything out of me unless you pay for what you just did." He seethes, taking a step forward.

I stumble back as a response. "I said, I'm sorry." I attempt to leave.

"Sorry doesn't cut it." He grunts, coming so close I feel his breath on the side of my head. When I try to walk away, he wraps an arm around my stomach and pulls me in. My chest tightens in terror. "Sorry doesn't cut it, Esther. Fucking sorry doesn't do shit!"

I flinch.

"Now that I know how it feels to have you close, I'm slowly starting to get obsessed." He whispers in my ear.

I feel the palpable fear choke me around throat, stifling my breath. What have I done?

"Shourya--"

"Shh," he pushes my hair to one side and rests his forehead on my shoulder. My body goes rigid. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Pray to your sweet God that the devil inside me stops wanting you." The wisp of his breath kisses my bare skin. "Because if not, the next time I see you, I'm taking you for myself and no power in this world is stopping me."

And he walks away, leaving me stranded there with my fears, regrets and anger.

I watch his retreating back, stepping back until I find the support of the tree to hold myself up. I've done this. I brought this upon myself. I knew he was attracted to me, more than I am. His eyes have a mind of their own, and more often than not they fancied my body. It was wrong of me to take advantage of his infatuation to find the answers of the million different questions spiralling inside my head.

I didn't even have a good plan.

What was I trying to achieve by seducing him? Getting him to speak like a parrot? What am I? Seductive hypnotiser? Groaning softly, I clutch my head in my hands and bend over, frustrated at my own hands of stupidity.

Standing straight, I fix my appearance and head back to the camp area. My feet slow down when I find him seated on his reclining chair, sipping on his beer casually as he watches the river.

Dry leaves crunch beneath my feet, catching his attention and his head turns over slowly, holding my eyes captive. He takes another sip of his beer, almost daring me to look away, and I see the rage burning behind those light brown chasms.

Swallowing the thick ball of nervousness down my throat, I scurry towards my tent, out of his line of sight. Until he leaves, I'm ignoring him. And this time, I'm not going back on my words.

Getting inside the sleeping bag, I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. It doesn't come to me easily. Oh no, my mind constantly torments me with the flashes of what just went down between me and Shourya, asking me several what ifs that I'm too ashamed to answer.

Because what if I hadn't taken the wrong name at the right time?

What if I had given into his coercion?

What if we had gone all the way? Because God knows when he had me wrapped around his hips against that tree, I was willing to bend over backward like a spring.

Shaking off the absurd thoughts, I turn to my left and hug my knees to my chest, forcing out the unwanted memories.

Eventually, I fall asleep.

The next morning, cold wakes me up before the sun. I sit up hugging myself and rub my hands up and down my arms, blowing air through my mouth as I sniffle softly. On my left, Tanya sleeps peacefully, her pillow now between her arms as she snores hugging it to her chest. I get out of the sleeping bag and put on my jacket, zipping it up all the way before I get out of the tent.

My eyes quickly move to the bonfire. Except for smoke, nothing escapes the embers. The chairs around are empty, that means, Shourya went back inside last night. I look to the tent next to ours, knowing he's probably inside, asleep or awake.

Then the tent opens up and he emerges from within.

Awake.

I snap my head to the other side when his gaze comes to stop on me, the empty campsite suddenly feels like the most awkward place I've ever been to. I go back inside the tent and dig through my stuff for toiletries. Stepping out, I don't let my eyes wander and move towards the restrooms.

After a quick shower, I dress up in fitted high waisted jeans and a crop top, pairing it with cropped sweatshirt. As I leave the restroom, I see him coming out of the men's side, drying his hair with a small towel, the other hand carrying his backpack.

Our eyes collide and I gulp, looking away from him before I hurry back into my tent. Everyone else wakes up by eight. I don't leave my tent until everyone is ready to leave. I carry the remaining groceries and my bags to the car, stuffing them inside the trunk before occupying my seat by the window.

The engine purrs to life and Tanya pulls the van out of the parking lot, driving to the nearest restaurant for brunch before we head to back to the hotel.

"We've flight to Jeju tomorrow. So you guys can get all the rest you want today." Tanya says after she drops us off at the hotel. I wave at her from the first stair of the porch. She waves back before driving off. Turning around, I follow the boys inside the hotel.

"Don't disturb me until it's time for dinner." Agastya announces, the slam of the door following his words.

"Bhai, open the door! We share the room!" Arush rattles the knob, frustration dripping from his tone. The door opens after a minute of his complaining, allowing him inside.

"I couldn't sleep the whole night in that tent. God, Arush is such a loud sleeper." Ayush groans and heads inside his room, closing the door immediately after him.

I clutch my backpack tighter, my eyes straying towards Shourya only to find him already staring at me. Good lord, if his eyes weren't a fixed part of his body, I'm afraid they'd have followed me even to the depths of hells.

Clearing my throat, I walk off to my room and close the door without turning around. Slumping into my bed, I drop the backpack to my feet and bury my face in the pillow, regretting every choice that I made last night.

I'm to blame.

It's all on me.

How do I create troubles for myself easily? And to think I'm even capable of turning a living, breathing human into one, what is wrong with my fate? How am I supposed to escape this one now?

You don't need to, Tara.

He's leaving on his own.

That's right, that's how assure myself for the rest of the day.

So when I finally leave my room in the evening and see everyone but him at the dining table, the impending realisation is yet to hit me.

"Where- Where's Shourya?" I try to sound casual as I pull a chair for myself at the table.

Agastya shrugs. "He left."

Must say, a man of his words 👏

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