-• i hate him •-

The next day, on our way to Nanji Campground, we stop at Mangwon Market that is frequented among the locals for its popularity. I've rarely been to street markets so it's a new experience for me. And it feels good. The smell of food wafts through air, tickling my senses and making my well-fed stomach growl demandingly. Tanya said this market is the best place to buy all the necessary ingredients we might need for barbecuing.

"Agastya and I'll go get the local beer for us along with meat and other essential ingredients, if you guys want to buy something, go ahead. Let's meet here again thirty minutes later, okay?" She looks around, earning a nod from each one of us. We're at the centre of the market and given how crowded it is, I'm afraid leaving me alone would end up me being lost for the next thirty minutes before someone has to come find me. I need to have a company.

Mournfully, I watch Tanya take my brother away, the twins walk off together, now best buddies after spending two nights out in a row together, leaving me all alone.

Shourya turns to leave, and crushing the remaining pride left in me, I follow after him, keeping a good two feet distance between us so he doesn't think I'm tagging along with him. Even though I am.

He stops at the local shop to try donuts and I stop at the shop next to it.

The owner demands something in Korean, startling me and catching the pair of brown eyes I was trying so hard to stay hidden from.

"Huh?"

She waves her hand, asking what I want. I point randomly at whatever she's serving in her shop. Shourya chooses that moment to turn and resume exploring. Swearing under my breath, I slap the cash on the counter and grab the parcel of deep fried cutlets before walking after him.

A dress on a display at the side of street catches my eye but since Shourya doesn't stop anywhere near, I've to forget about it and carry on unwillingly.

We enter another street where he abruptly turns around. I quickly whip to my left, puffing my cheeks as I thoughtfully look through the snack options on the counter.

From the corner of my eyes, I see him approach me. Panic rushes me to act fast and I beckon the owner with a flick of my fingers. "How much?"

"400 won one piece." He replies.

"Are you following me?"

"Huh?" I play dumb, as though I didn't hear him. "Give me two." I say, holding two fingers at the owner. He nods and grabs a paper bag from the side to pack my order.

"You're following me." Shourya states.

I snort. "Why would I? You just happen to go where I want to go." I shrug.

"Oh, really?" He mocks. "Alright, then, I'm heading the opposite way now." And he walks off.

I wave the cash at the owner, urging him to hurry up. He hands me the bag and takes the money, returning to the counter to look for change. I sway on my feet impatiently, my eyes straying towards Shourya at an alarming rate. I can't lose him. God, I'm shitty at directions.

"Don't have-"

"Keep the change." I say with a heavy heart and whirl on my feet, scurrying in the direction Shourya went in. I come to an abrupt halt realising I lost him. Clicking my tongue in disappointment, I sulk in my spot, my shoulders sagging down in defeat. Now I'll have to call one of my brothers or Tanya for help and they'll know how dumb I'm when it comes to directions. Even Google maps can't help me. My lips purse together sadly as I stare at my feet, kicking at the random pebble and releasing a heavy wistful sigh.

"Looking for me, Esther?"

My head snaps to the right.

Shourya stands leaning in the narrow alley between two buildings, his arms folded across his chest, feet crossed over, eyes dancing in mirth as they stare at me fixated.

I clear my throat and scratch at the side of my neck. "Didn't see you there, Rajawat. What happened? Lost your way?" I cock a brow at him.

He drops his head low, a deep chuckle escapes his full lips, before his golden brown gaze lifts to meet my eyes. "I thought we decided on ignoring each other for the rest of the trip?" He gets off the wall and shoves his hands inside his pocket, strolling to where I stand.

I stretch my neck to look up at him. "Tell me about it. You just can't stand not talking to me, can you?"

He bends his head to my level and smirks. "Not when you follow me like a stalker."

I scoff and push on his chest for an adequate space between us. "The only time I'd consider stalking you would be to murder you. Unfortunately, it's a broad daylight and I don't have a weapon on me right now."

"Well, then, this time, for real let's go opposite ways. Hmm?" And he falls in the step past me. I grab his forearm, swallowing my self esteem as I lift my eyes to look into his cocky ones. "What happened, Esther? Don't want to let me go?"

"Unless I see you buried six feet underground, nope." I snap back sarcastically. "Thirty minutes are up. We need to return."

His eyes bore into mine, the brown in them swirling around like honey if one stirs it, sweet, stubborn, and soft. I wonder how he does it. Look dead one moment, and so fucking alive the very next. The duality confounds me, whether it's within him, a part of him that resides alongside, or just a shawl of pretense he has draped over to confuse the world.

My phone starts ringing, thankfully breaking the moment. It was starting to feel like the purpose of my existence for a split second. As if the world can crumble down around us and we wouldn't care, because it wasn't worth looking away from each other.

I release his arm and he steps away from me, waiting by my side as I answer the phone and press it to my ear. "Hi, Tanya."

"Where are you two? I can't reach Shourya's phone."

"He's with me. We're coming, don't worry. Just give us five minutes."

"Alright, we're waiting. Your brother is losing it by the way. So be quick."

I chuckle. "Yeah, give him a pacifier. He'll calm down."

Tanya laughs.

"Short stuff!" I hear Agastya grumble in the background. "You should have gone with the twins-" I hang up instead of letting my ears bleed with his constant rambling.

"Shall we?" I stuff the phone back into my pocket.

"After you," he gestures with his hand, a teasing glint in his eyes.

I roll my eyes and grab the sleeve of his denim jacket, shoving him forward. He stumbles a little, catching his balance and laughing heartily before he takes the lead. God bless me for putting up with this man. I deserve a noble prize.

"What did you buy?" He asks me on our way back.

I slam the packet of snacks on his chest. He grabs them and opens, pulling out the sweet three rice cakes stick before eating a mouthful of it. "Too sweet," his nose scrunches in displeasure and he drops the stick back into the paper bag.

Upon returning to the old spot, Tanya leads us back out of the market while the twins curiously scoot over between Shourya and I to see what I've bought. My eyes meet his as he deviates from my side and walks a few feet away. I force a smile at Ayush when he eats a good chunk of rice cakes and moans happily. Arush feasts on the pork cutlet I bought, praising the taste and my choice.

We pile inside the car and buckle up before the engine fires up and we leave the Mangwon Market behind. I stare out of the window, watching the city scenes play for a short moment before being replaced with the next. Resting my head on the seat, my gaze shifts to the view outside the windshield, which eventually lands on the rear view mirror, locking with the familiar pair of light brown eyes that immediately drift away from mine. I look down at him and he has his head turned towards the window.

I inhale a shuddering breath as I sit straight, rubbing my chest feeling something flutter inside wildly.

"You okay?" Agastya asks worriedly.

Concerned glances flicker towards me, all except him, and I shake my head. "I'm fine. Can you open the window?" My question directed at Tanya. "It feels stuffy in here." I say hoarsely.

"Yeah, of course. You should have told me earlier." She responds gently and lowers the window of my side. The wind bursts inside the compact space, tearing through my open locks and ruining all the efforts I made this morning to make them look presentable. I rake both of my hands through the hair and twist them in a bun, grabbing a clutch from the front pocket of my bag before hooking it in my hair.

We reach the campsite in an hour. Tanya cuts off the engine in the parking lot before we file out of the car. She opens the trunk and asks for help from the boys to carry the heavy stuff inside. "Tara, will you please carry the groceries inside?" She requests softly.

"Yeah, sure, you don't have to ask twice." I sling my purse across my shoulder and move to the back of the car.

"Shourya, see that blue bag, give it to her. She'll carry it." Tanya instructs, returning her focus on taking out the heavy boxes holding the tent material.

He nods and leans over to slide the bag forward, picking it up and turning towards me. I move closer, our hands touching as I grab the bag from him. When I look up, blood rushes to my cheeks and my heart pounds harder realising the proximity we share. It burns like charcoal on my skin. Our eyes meet before his flicker down to my bare neck, straying to where my collarbones peek out from the off-shoulder cardigan. He has a strange fascination towards my shoulders. I noticed his obsession when he couldn't stop glancing at them that night.

I feel him lean closer, or maybe it's just the trick of my brain. Then he inhales deeply and my stomach tangles up into knots. I quickly veer away and carry the bags with me inside the campsite, not glancing back at him. Whatever just happened might be a fragment of my imagination and I'm not about to confirm it by looking back to see his confusion etched face.

Tanya and I focus on setting up the grill to start lunch preparation while the twins try to figure out how to set up the tents. The winners of the last trekking competition sit themselves on random lunch tables. Agastya finds his spot between a group of girls. Even the language barrier is not enough to stop his flirty personality. Shourya finds shade at the table situated under a tree and scrolls busily through his phone, ignoring the female attention he has been getting from all directions.

"So, you and Shourya?" Tanya asks, a playful smile on her face as she empties the grocery bag.

"Sorry?" I look up at her flabbergasted.

She meets my eyes with her mischievous ones. "I don't know how your brothers haven't figured out yet, but the chemistry between you two is so palpable I feel like I can touch it."

I fluster. "No- it's- it's nothing like that. We're not even friends." I deny the idea politely.

She squints her eyes at me, definitely not taking my word for it. "Yeah, fool someone else. I'll go and get these vegetables washed." She lifts the basket and saunters off the in the direction of the public washbasin.

I decide to marinate the meat in the meantime.

When she returns, we work in harmony. Seeing the twins struggle, Agastya offers his help with the tents. Then he calls for Shourya too. I see the seventeen year old sigh in exasperation before he gets up from the bench and stroll over after shoving his phone inside his pocket.

The team of four work together with Agastya and Shourya leading the twins and in less than an hour, they successfully manage to put up three tents. We've got the best view of the Han River from here. I can just imagine how mesmerizing it'd look when the night falls.

"If you two are not together yet, what's even stopping you?" She asks out of the blue. "Your brothers?"

"I like someone else." I tell her. Or myself. I don't know anymore. But I do like Rudra. I should like him. My feelings can't be so fleeting, so vague. I need to give my emotions a meaning before I lose my sanity. I can't be hopping from one guy to another so quickly.

My eyes shift to Shourya who's hammering down a nail into the ground. His muscles flex everytime he hits the nail, the sweat of perspiration glistening on the side of his neck. His olive skin shiny under the sun. I swallow.

Is it because I see glimpses of Rudra in him?

Yeah, that must be it. Shourya means nothing to me. In fact, I hate him. Everything about him.

"And I hate him." I clench my jaw, glaring at his sexy side profile. "I hate him." I force a smile at Tanya.

She blinks awkwardly. "Oh okay, got it."

I shrug and pick up the skewers, stuffing the length with meat and veggies. My eyes often go astray, and he steals all of those random glances, while not even giving me a sliver of his attention. He is really doing a good job at ignoring me. I wonder which rock should I slam my head against to get back my senses.

"Shit, I forgot my phone in the car." Tanya suddenly starts looking around. "Tara, you're almost done, can you please go get my phone from the car. I still have so much to do here." She splays her hands helplessly towards the vegetables she's chopping to make the stew.

I remove the plastic gloves and pick up the keys from the side table before heading outside the campsite. It's starting to get warmer lately. I don't think there will be any snow until late in the year. I might as well forget about enjoying snowfall at Namsan tower.

The black van blinks when I press the key fob.

"Taranya!"

I spin around in surprise and my eyes go wide seeing Shourya come out of the gates.

"Open the trunk. I need to grab a few things." He points towards the car.

Nodding, I turn back and make my way towards the car. He stops behind me while I climb the front seat and crawl a little closer to the driver's side in search of the button.

"Tara," he suddenly says, his voice strained. "There's a button on the key fob. Come out."

Oh.

I retreat and grab the phone from the holder before getting out of the car. Closing the door, I hand the key fob to him. His eyes, darker than usual, stare into mine as he snatches the keys from me and storms to the back of the car.

I twist my nose at his attitude. What crawled up his ass and died?

He gathers the things from the trunk and slams it close, almost rattling the poor car. Then he turns and walks off briskly. I stare after him incredulously. This guy is nuts. That's the only way I can explain his volatile reactions.

I head back inside, delivering the phone to its owner before getting back to work. In less than an hour, we serve the lunch on the table and the guys surround, picking their plates and retreating to their own comfort zone. Ayush occupies a spot that overlooks the river, a book in his hand, his nose scrunched in detest at the veggies in his plate, but the poor guy make do with whatever it is on the plate and eats it. Arush joins the boys his age, sharing around what he brought at the table while eating what they got in exchange. Agastya too gravitates back to the girls, while Shourya retreats to his bench beneath the tree.

"Camping is so much fun." Tanya says sarcastically looking at our dispersed group.

I chuckle and jut my chin in the direction of the table, two plates served with meat and veggies in my hands. She carries the pot of stew and noodles and we sit on the bench, digging in without wasting anymore time. The more the smell of meat teased my tastebuds, the hungrier I got. So it's heaven to finally sit relaxed and eat what we made after perseverance of almost three hours.

"When I got together with my boyfriend, he brought me here for our first official date." Tanya says, looking fondly at the river.

"Where did you meet him?" I inquire curiously.

"At the supermarket." She replies, smiling. "Our carts accidentally got exchanged and he realised that after he took it to the counter. Apparently, he never had to buy pads before." She grins lopsidedly.

I giggle. "Poor guy must have been so embarrassed."

She nods, chuckling softly. "He was. He was adorable. He is adorable. He puts on this cocky, playboy kinda front, but is a literal goofball on the inside. I was his first kiss."

"Aw," I coo softly. "Some men are honestly too good to be true."

"Your crush is?" She raises a teasing brow at me.

"Huh?"

"You said you like someone." She reminds me.

My eyes automatically switch to the boy under the tree shade, and the smile on my face falters. "Yeah, but it's over now. We weren't possible anyway." I shrug nonchalantly.

"Why if I may ask?" She intrudes politely.

"I don't know. I guess, our worlds are too different." I reply softly.

"Shut up. You're just seventeen. Stop talking like an adult." She rolls her eyes. "And there's nothing like two different worlds. Maybe lifestyles? Nothing that a little bit of adjustment and compromise can't fix. If you two are meant to be, trust me, you'll cross paths with him again. And if not," she trails, turning her head over her shoulder and looking at Shourya before fixing her amused eyes back on me. "The ocean is big. All you need to do is drop a bait." She winks.

"Please, anyone but him." I scoff, stuffing my mouth with a piece of meat.

"Why? He's a catch. And you two look absolutely stunning together."

"If one of us is dead, sure." I nod sarcastically.

She chuckles, shaking her head at me.

By the time we wrap up and clean the spot, it's already seven in the evening. The boys set up bonfire in front of the tents and arrange six reclining chairs around. Then Agastya brings the packet of beer that he and Tanya shares with us, just to let loose for once. I deny the offer. Not really in the mood to get drunk.

Barely anyone talks, most of us busy on our phones. Tanya's attempt to strike a conversation goes to drain since no one looks interested in talking about random stuff.

Around ten, twins return to their tent after a good night thrown at us. A few minutes later, Agastya joins the group he made friends with when they invite him over for some drinks and food.

"I'll also," Tanya trails, pointing at our tent behind. I nod in response. Then her eyes shift next to me and they enlarge a little. "He's asleep."

I turn my head, and true to her words, Shourya is fast asleep in his chair. He falls asleep so easily. His hand hangs off the arm rest, close to mine and I gently retract it.

"I should wake him-" my hand shoots out to grab her wrist, stopping her before she can touch him. She startles and looks at me. I quickly drop my hand. "The tent will be more comfortable." She mumbles awkwardly.

No, it won't be.

"He's more comfortable here." I whisper.

She frowns.

I clear my throat. "I mean, he sleeps like this."

Her frown deepens. "Really?"

"Yeah," I murmur.

"Weird." She mutters.

My brows furrow together. "No, it's not."

Suddenly, she smiles as she meets my eyes. "And you say you hate him?" Shaking her head, she stands straight and walks off.

I rest back on the chair, staring at the starless sky. Her words reverberate in the walls of my mind, mocking me in the face. I turn my head, looking at his peacefully sleeping figure and repeat to myself.

I hate him.

But then he stirs slightly and turns his head to me, his lashes fluttering open, revealing those bottomless light brown eyes I've grown familiar with. And I ask myself.

Why do I hate him?

I don't know either, Tara.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.